My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Conception

Hell no Aunt Flo! You can't park that red convertible here. This space is reserved. Turn on, tune in and cop off. It's Just Shagging part 23!

999 replies

Minion · 27/04/2014 04:05

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.


JSing lingo
~~~~~~~~~

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 22 is Here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here

Happy shagging shaggers!
OP posts:
Report
DulcetMoans · 27/04/2014 14:56

Ice cream sandwich is just a choc ice to us Brits. Pretty sure I have seen a Tobias Funke on here dr! Oh I need to get my DVDs on now!

So I can count on you all to visit my sandwich shop then? Ill do a JSer special! Sausage sandwich maybe! Hahaha!

Don't be too down zyla, it's never over until its over.

Are we having a syncro POAS end of this week then?? Something to look forward to.

Report
Wilhelminand · 27/04/2014 15:22

On a scale of 1-10, how sad is it that I'm a little bit gutted I can't be involved in synchro pee?

I may have to walk to the shop to buy ice cream now.

Also, I want to punch my other half in the face, hard. Angry

Report
RPopz · 27/04/2014 15:25

Haha, Wil! What's he done? (Or not done)

I want a JSer's sausage special! Grin

Report
Minion · 27/04/2014 15:27

babble just be wary of opks tho as most people always have a second faint line as that hormone is always present in.small doses throughout the month.
When I finally got a bfp on a hpt the second line came up straight away and much darker than the control line. That was the difference for me.
However I hope it's not for.you and what we are seeing is the beginning x
To

OP posts:
Report
ZingWatermelon · 27/04/2014 15:32

Wil

spill the beans. why do you want to punch him and can I do it?

Report
RPopz · 27/04/2014 15:54

Min speaketh the truth there Babble. I've had to pee on opks for the last 20 days for the sodding cbfm... I've seen a faint line almost everyday.

Debating tidying out my wardrobe and putting some winter clothes away and getting the spring/ summer ones out.... Am thinking this will undoubtedly invoke an ice age if i do...

Report
splodge77 · 27/04/2014 16:02

Name: splodge77
Age: 37
Kids: 1 DS (3yrs old)
TTC: just started

Have to share hideousness of moment at a friends house yesterday where another friends husband (known for being pretty tactless it's true) assumed I was pregnant! I was wearing a lovely new dress I'd bought that morning. He thought it was a maternity one. Wah! new dress and self esteem ruined!! He then dug hole even deeper trying to worm his way out of it. What a knob. Comforted myself by thinking...maybe he has 6th sense & I'm up duffed already but think unlikely as we've only managed to Dtd twice this month and it's CD14 today. Doh! Useless shaggers. Lovely sunny afternoon here. Me and my fat tummy are off to enjoy the garden.

Report
aylesburyduck · 27/04/2014 16:09

wil what's mr wil done?

Report
Babblehag · 27/04/2014 16:19

I spotted Sad

so opk lines are definitely not reliable then, note taken, next month only do opk around icing time.

wondering how long it will take AF to arrive, just had a glimpse, but if its before sat my cycle is fairly short!

Report
Wilhelminand · 27/04/2014 17:26

Oh my god I just typed a massive reply and deleted it all by accident.

The short version is he likes to make it out like I'm being mental in order to win an argument. I am quite capable of being mental but I notice the same tactic every time we're arguing discussing something. So we never get anything sorted out because if it looks as if it's not going to go his way, he starts accusing me of shouting or 'being difficult' just to try to take the moral high ground. Zing you could throw your watermelon at him from a great height?

I also feel like I must have ov'd either yesterday or today - and we haven't dtd either day - and I have NO desire to go anywhere near him. So now I'm thinking that all the effort this month has been in vain.

sPlodge that is terrible that the husband asked you that! Why would you ever ask someone if they were upduffed? I am sure you looked lovely. He probably has no clue what is fashionable.

Sorry about the spotting Babble Sad

Report
DrFunkesFamilyBandSolution · 27/04/2014 17:32

babble, i get faint lines on opks just before ertd. As a test when I got my bfp with ds2, i took them everyday from 9dpo, dark positives from 10dpo.

splodge, well done for not murdering him, arse!

Hurrah for the unicorn zing, may his horn of wonder help a glut of bfps this fred.

Report
ZingWatermelon · 27/04/2014 17:58

<br /> Angry _~
//..\

Wil
angry unicorn is ready to shove it's horn up his arse!Wink

umm, the watermelon is my belly so can't really drop it on him.
happy to throw shoes at him though!Grin

Report
ZingWatermelon · 27/04/2014 17:59

babble

sorry if it's end of TWOT. any hope still?

Report
RPopz · 27/04/2014 18:04

Eurgh, Wil. Feel your pain. Mr Rpopz does that too. And why do we always end up rowing at icing time!? I'd say kick him in the balls but....

Sorry to hear about the spotting Babble. Do you think AFs on her way? Sad

Zing love that angry unicorn! Grin

I feel siiiiiick.... Sad Hmm

Report
Wilhelminand · 27/04/2014 18:04

Ah I see! Haha well shoes and unicorn horns willingly accepted.

Report
Wilhelminand · 27/04/2014 18:23

X-posted again rpopz! We're always doing that. Well I am so easily annoyed at icing time so maybe that has something to do with it. We'll go for the kneecaps instead of the balls.
Describe your nausea. Is it a hangover or like motion sickness or what?

Report
Babblehag · 27/04/2014 18:33

It was literally one spot, you could almost mistake it for a toilet paper, paper cut, very small amount, bright red in colour, I've also been cramping all day and mood has been crabby to say the least so assuming AF is on her way!!!!! Angry

But on a good note, I have skimmed through my course and got to where I should have been last week, so now I can get planning my assignment!!! Although I am really enjoying the break from kids cooking and housework while mrbabble takes over... think I might wing it a little while longer. Grin

Report
ZingWatermelon · 27/04/2014 18:36

arguing around ovulation time you say?
I would have a 3-day rage just before a period.
I think it's just hormones and probably emotions to a certain degree

Report
DulcetMoans · 27/04/2014 18:40

Oh yeah, my DH is aggravating at the best of time but week before AF he is lucky to survive day by day!

Report
RPopz · 27/04/2014 18:42

I'm quite ragey most of the month tbf... Think I only get one good week haha! Which bizarrely is this week this time, even though I'm pretty sure AF is at the end of it. (Could just be the ads kicking in... Hmm )

Wil, I think it was more like hungry sick. I was really hot and nauseous on the way back from walking the pup. Peppermint tea and a handful of nuts and I'm ok now. Plus Mr Rpopz is making the tea, and making noises about wanting to shag me later (oh, so NOW his libido kicks in... lol)

Report
ZingWatermelon · 27/04/2014 18:53

RPopz

not trying to raise false hope or annoy you or anything but where in your cycle are you?

nausea is always suspicious to me...I felt really sick the day after I conceived DS5!

Report
RPopz · 27/04/2014 19:00

11dpo. Feeling sick isn't totally unusual for me though so trying not to get my hopes up! The only weird thing is on Weds night I got in from walking the dog and had like a minute of intense nausea - so much so I actually retched over the kitchen sink (sorry). But it went fairly quickly. I figured its too early for preg sickness!

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Wilhelminand · 27/04/2014 19:09

How do you remember all your different pgs Zing? I struggle to remember what it was like with only 1!

Yes, I'm definitely really hormonal. Another bonus to being pg, does away with all this cyclical rage! I felt great last time.

Do you always get spotting before AF Babble?

Rpopz that makes me laugh. I love how when you've been together a while, the shagging is put off until later. All spontaneity from the start of relationships has gone out the window! We practically have to schedule it in these days.

Report
Babblehag · 27/04/2014 19:51

not sure, this is my first cycle, and never took much notice of my body before.

Report
RPopz · 27/04/2014 19:53

Bleeeurgh I feel really bloody sick now... Hooya me someone quick!

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.