Hell no Aunt Flo! You can't park that red convertible here. This space is reserved. Turn on, tune in and cop off. It's Just Shagging part 23!

[Minion]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 22 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2035460-Get-your-ROCs-off-Get-your-ROCs-off-honey-Knickers-down-legs-up-and-capes-on-in-the-competition-for-SOTM-Just-Shagging-part-22-the-one-with-all-the-BFPs?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

Ok that was easier than I thought, least for me! All mine have coloured toes/heels, so just had to match, poor DH is still trying to match his black ones hehe

Lala after RPopz's luck this thread, I would take that crown!

I'm not really in the running as have had 2 BFNs and have absolutely no symptoms. Just waiting for the pesky witch to rear her ugly head. Most likely all down to you...no pressure .

I can never find a pair Zyla. Always wear odd socks!

Likewise Wil, am now a week late but have 3 BFN to my name and nothing I can even pretend to be a symptom.

Fx lala and us too, Wil.

Before has she STILL not arrived? I'm only 3 days late so not too bad. Really hope she either arrives today so you don't have to wait longer or preferably, that all the sticks we have peed on have been faulty and we are both upduffed! Must happen right? clutches fistful of straws

I thought there were 3 BFPs this thread but can only think of Rpopz and Dulcet. Was there someone else?

Aubergine I think x

aubergine was the 3rd one :)
before and wil this is mad - is she normally late? Have you done the hot bath, etc to see if that helps her make mind up?

After the amount of wine I drank at the weekend any foetuses will be pickled. Been a shitty couple of weeks! coping mechanism not good

Twot twot twottery twot

Was it frog?

Opps, that will teach me to post without refreshing!

Sorry you've had a shitty week lala. Hopefully this one will be better!

Morning all!

I am a complete iron avoider, I'm not completely sure where my ironing board is...

Disco pants did the trick on Saturday night, thank christ.

Ooh good Kato! Fx history will repeat itself for you

Can't believe what's going on with you two Wil and Before!! Is it time for a GP app maybe? I guess its hard to know.

My house is full of flies this morning and its driving me fucking mental!! Spent 20 minutes chasing one round with a rolled up newspaper, finally caught the bugger and now another one's turned up!

'Don your disco pants and cape for a bfp' new motto of Fred?

Not normally late here, last visit 4th April. 30/31 day cycles so that makes me a week late now. Feel miserable with it, so she must, must, must be coming. Going to see if I can convince DS to snuggle up on the sofa with me for a film as that's all I can face, despite it being lovely and bright outside.

Cycles went bonkers last time we ttc but I thought it was all about coming off the pill. Maybe not. :(

before and Wil I reckon you've got a dodgy batch of pissy sticks... That old hag needs to phone the RAC or bugger back off!

The disco pants sound dead sexy, but sneaking to the lavvy to skoosh conceive plus up there under the guise of 'brushing my teeth' was an image I hope no one ever has to see!

I know we're just shagging, but we like a bit of lube so I reckon I'm counteracting the sperm killing properties of the boots own brand?

If AF shows up I'll talk to DH and suggest we get the conception friendly stuff then produce it a few days later...

Hahahhaa Kato, how very sexy!

I have no idea if this is normal. I've only been loosely tracking my cycle up until now and the last few have been 28 days so I just presumed it always was - possibly not though. I'm only at cd31 so it's not ridiculous. I would have bought some more sticks had they had them in the shop, y'know, just in case mentallist. It feels like she's about to arrive but then it also did when I was upduffed.

Ah Frog, that was it, knew there was someone.

Mr Wil does all the ironing in this house - only his own stuff, I may add - as he has to for work. I only do it if I want to wear something and it's embarrassingly creased. I know someone who irons underwear. Life is too short.

sorry you're feeling about AF. I've got no chance this month we've been too busy with moving to worry about dtd.

We rattled through this thread in no time. almost time for a new one

My mum irons socks

Socks?? How can they even get creased? That's hilarious.

You never know Duck, only takes once apparently

I don't understand ironing bedding - it's only going to crease and you're the only one that sees it!

MIL irons pants. I laugh every time!

So min started this lucky thread being newly upduffed so maybe that's the key! Getting the preggers luck rolling - maybe one of the newly pregnant ladies should start the next. I did one recently but one of the others...???

Yay Monday out of the way! And pizza for tea, yum :)

I thought that too Dulcet. Hopefully we can get another three of us on the next thread.

How come time passes pretty quickly except when you're hungry and waiting for something to cook?!

I'd do it but I won't be able to think of a good name!!!

We've got 77 posts left. We can all help to come up with a name!

Go for it popz, get thinking!

I'm still loving the disco pants, although rim brush is still up there as one of the best autocorrect moments. Was there not a mention of flange wankers somewhere on this thread? Ding dong the flange wanker witch is dead, ha ha ha!!!

Love flange wanker. And Jason Doner Van.