Home of the very brave TTC after MC-ers. Advice, understanding and a variety or food based euphemisms. Pull up a pew, ladies!

[Justonemoretime]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Thankfully it didn't delay us as we were able to fly home the day after the procedure as we had planned. Longest journey of my life though!

Oh my gosh, 12 weeks. Poor you. That must have been so draining. Exciting times ahead that you're moving into a new place though. A nice distraction from everything that has been going on. Hopefully it'll be the start of a happier chapter in your life! Fx for you.

Thanks blank. Yeah it's been really tough tbh. I'm blessed to have a dd and so I know I'm really lucky already but even so, I desperately wanted that baby. Like we all do as soon as we see that bfp. The bleeding took it out of me something crazy. I went so far downhill and could feel myself losing my grip. I honestly think my dd saved me. And dh of course but he's at work and as I don't go to work (I run my own biz from home), I've not had the distraction of tit bits of gossip, office politics and the like to take my kind off it. Hey ho, I am better and feel more positive now so hopefully, things are on the up.

Slightly OT but has anyone ever been to see a psychic/medium? I'm so intrigued and just wonder if now would be a good time to go?

See a therapist if you like, it may really help. But, personally I'd stay well away from psychics etc. I think its a good way of delaying closure and getting stuck in the cycle of grief. IMHO x

Broody sorry for what you've been through :(
I know what you mean about the bleeding.

I'm off to bed due to work tomorrow :( eek.

Just wanted to ask, when did people's pregnancy tests show negative? Mine is still positive :/
Also if I still have hcg does that mean I won't be ovulating for a while?
So confusing!

Just spoken to a friend and been told of two other people who went straight on to get pregnant after mc.

I admit I'm grasping at straws but all these stories of heartbreak followed by joy is what is currently keeping me going. I'm forcing myself to believe that "it just wasn't our time and that we can do this"

So hard though

On my second mc, it was +ive for weeks. I had retained products but it was sorted eventually. It was a horrid wait, though. Go back to your GP if you're worried.
Sorry for not name checking. On my phone. X

Thanks treacle Sorry for your loss too x I got my negative about four or five weeks after I mc. However, turned out that despite the negative, my body refused to let go of a bit of my bubba and that's why I kept on bleeding.

Mmmm I can see your point there just. I can imagine that happening for many people because they're so vulnerable after loss. It's just that I've quite a few things going on in my life atm, mc of course, but stuff with my career and family issues as well, so I figured it may be a chance to visit someone and see what they say - not necessarily for voices beyond the grave or anything (although how I've been wishing to speak with my grandma recently, she'd have been so good at dealing with me!) but maybe clarity on these choices or decisions. Maybe I'll just rock up at a free psychic fayre and spend a quid on a dodgy fortune teller. I'd be so disappointed if she didn't have a tent, jangly headpiece and gypsy type skirt though

Treacle, after my erpc I took a hpt about 3 wks after & it was negative. As I heard that fertility was high after a mc, I did opks that month but I didn't ov. Af arrived 4 wks after my mc so now reckon everything is getting back to normal.

Hi all
Can I pop back in? I was here a few weeks back, then hopped onto the buses for a bit.
MrsG and brummie so sorry to see you here after the excitement of the may bus...

cake thats such good news, your little bean is a real fighter.

First day back at work went well, was really lovely to distract myself with the children, was really proud of myself until I just broke down in the bath.

I couldnt stop sobbing dp had to hold me up, hes just tucked me up in bed but that numbness feeling is back, I feel like ive taken a huge step back.

I desperately want to be pregnant again but am terrified of having another mc so soon after the last and how ill cope if it does happen, I guess it doesnt really matter when I get pregnant ill always have that fear.

I started seeing a counsellor 6 weeks ago, I just felt I needed to rant to someone, Ive found it really helpful, id avoid psychics though I think im still at the stage were id be desperately clinging on to anything they said.

So my story... After my two MCs in short succession all the doctors would offer was standard blood tests they do at the GP's... We had to pay for investigations abroad but they didn't identify a reason. So we started ttc around April 2012, mmcs oct 2012 and February 2013, ttc again since June 2013 and nothing to show for it except a chemical this April...So after af rocked up on Saturday, despite all the vits, temp charting and three cycles of acupuncture, I'd sort of had enough and booked appointment with my gp today.After my first mc they said rather than do lots of investigations they go for assisted processes, ie ivf. So I went and asked for referral for assessment.. it might seem lazy but we do qualify and surely getting the assessment won't hurt right?I'm hoping that by sod's law I'd get upduffed as soon as the appt is booked. So here's to a last-chance bfp in June!Sorry all, life story over!

Silver, I will be interested to hear how you get on with the ivf route. I'm wondering whether that's the next thing to explore. Good luck.

cake, so pleased. I had a very heavy bleed and was amazed baby survived it (Turner syndrome got it in the end, totally unrelated to the bleed), so it can happen. Fx its all plain sailing from here.

Smiling, hugs. It will get better, it takes time. Hope you're feeling better today. Better out than in. X

I've decided I will leave work. I am due an appraisal next week. Do I leave it until then? Or is that wasting my managers booked appraisal time?

I've typed out the letter about ten times. It's very strange. I'm sure I will stay to the end of term.
How do I also keep most people from knowing?

This does mean visiting HR again. Which is always fraught at this place.

Wish me luck (well strength and calm)!

cake fab news :) so relieved xx

Gosh sighing big step!! Is it something that you've been thinking of for a while? X

Work has been going to hell in a hand basket for some time. I'm deciding putting up with the stress would simply break me now.

Sighing I'd just tell them straight away. Well done you for taking a big step.
I'm in a quandary with work. I love teaching but not the school politics. Think I need to get out.

First day back today, was only half a day as I'm working at home for ppa this afternoon.
Glad to be home and overwhelmed with the amount of work I've got to do.

Thanks. To be honest I feel cowardly rather than brave. There are so many things I seem to be getting wrong because of the pressure

Most of my colleagues cope by bitching loudly about the place, or looking forward to retirement or hopung for redundancy. It has been getting to me since January. Then there's the miscarriage. I know I shouldn't. But everything seems to be failing for me. I just need something "other" . Questioning ttc a lot too.

Sorry. This is supposed to be for the brave... I think i ought toleave you lot to it! No flounce. Do take care if i am absent.

Lots to contemplate.

just thank you very much for the good wishes. I'm by no means imagining ivf or other assisted methods would be an easy way out but it's good to set the process in motion and know we have it as back up. It'll take around three months just to get the assessment appointment...

smiling hope you're feeling a bit better today. Did you find the counselling helpful? I have 12 weekly sessions starting next week but have been feeling a bit more positive lately so wondering if it might bring me back down... thought I'd give it a go though as I don't think I'd cope if it happened again so there might be useful tips on coping....

cake so pleased to hear all is well with your bean and you heard hb! Did they prescribe anything to help it along? I know in other countries they have treatments that they prescribe in such cases and it would bw good to know they take a proactive approach to threatened Mc...

Thank you all for the lovely words xxx

Just had to pop back in and offer some thoughts for what they're worth

broody my lovely don't see a psychic, they're fuckers who prey on the vulnerable. No sitting on the fence here definitely see a counsellor if you think a good vent will help, it can't hurt x

treacle I was told to wait until bleeding had stopped after my erpc then poas. It was negative after two weeks. I then had a period 4 weeks later. Everyone if different though but if you're a bit worried have a chat with your gp.

brummie yes I'm one of those that got upduffed first cycle after mmc! huge surprise as we ha decided to give ourselves a break from ttc. I'd highly recommend just taking the 'let's leave it for a while' approach for a couple of months, if you can, easy for me to say I know but it did me so much good to mentally take a break.

sighing yes go for it handing in your notice, I bet you'll feel so relieved. You're not a coward, you've had a shit time and you're allowed to have a good rant/feel very woe is me. Things will get better, it's just a shame you have to wade through all the shit times first xx

Sighing are you sure this is what you want to do from a more long term perspective? I don't suppose the mc would cloud your judgment but just to make sure wheree you see yourself 5-10 years down the line.
treacle is there anyone who could help you with your workload considering your circumstances?
Btw broody I agree counselling might be a better way of sorting out priorities. Even if it's mc counselling, I'm sure they would help with wider issues.

Treacle: Surely someone can be put in to help you get through the work?.
Silver : I was one of the team ... Meaning I was holding out to leave for maternity or a redundancy like so many are hoping for at work. Now I've been off, i'm not one of them anymore. I took so long off some of them have tried to pick bits up but they're pissed at my absence being so long.. But mostly it's just emphasised my workload needs no breaks for ant leave. The new targets imposed on us are not achieveable on my hours. And they are actively looking for slip ups. I feel I might as well go before they find a reason to drag me to disciplinary and sack me.