Requesting referral to a fertility clinic

[Frettchen]

So I finally feel ready to start things rolling (long story short - looking to get pregnant on my own, using donor sperm. Diagnosed with PCOS last year - treating with Metformin, but stopped taking it for stupid reasons. Back on it now.)

I called my chosen fertility clinic yesterday but they don't allow self-referrals, so I've made a GP appointment which is in a fortnight. I figure I just have to go in and reiterate my position, then ask for a referral to the consultant/clinic? Presumably the GP will give the clinic my medical history, or I'll sign something allowing them to have it, so I won't have to be re-diagnosed on the PCOS front...?

I'm going to ask to be referred for IVF, as I don't think I'm ovulating properly, even when I was taking the medication, and it seems like the IVF is a more reliable option for my situation.

Anyone else currently in this situation/has been here? How long does it take to be referred?

I don't know if this is typical of fertility treatment as a whole, or whether I'm a particularly unlucky one, but I've heard nothing from my clinic since the end of October. I was in on the 29th to sign all the forms and go through the process, it was bad timing cycle-wise, so the nurse was going to call me the following week to organise coming back in for a scan and blood tests. Only that never happened.

Then I got distracted with the sperm ordering, and then Christmas happened. All the while still no contact re: scan/bloods. I don't have the nurse's contact details, or really any one person I can contact about my treatment. I've finally plucked up the courage to 'be a bother' and have e-mailed the main info line of the clinic in the hope that they can direct it to the right people.

It's frustrating because I know that a lot of this hinges on there being someone out there who wants my eggs, and nothing will happen until a recipient is found, so the sensible part of my thoughts is pointing out that it will never be a quick and easy process, but I have no idea whether they've even started looking for that recipient.

In the mean time I've been looking at the timelines. If, and this is unlikely, we got everything going in time for my next cycle, I would be looking at egg collection just a couple of days after my 30th birthday. I know it's just a number, and 30's young and all those things, but it's another landmark to pass with no progress.

I'm mostly venting my stress now, just because I don't like the waiting and the not knowing if anything is happening. I have two family members who have announced their pregnancies in the last few months, as well as seemingly countless people on that awful facebook who are either expecting or have recently had their babies, and I'm genuinely happy for them, but each one just makes me that little bit sadder that it's not happened for me. I know it was my choice (if choice is the right word) to go it alone, and that I'm lucky to only have the PCOS on my list of medical maladies. I just wish it could be easier.

I would definitely be hassling the clinic by now. It sounds to me like someone has not done their job properly & you have been forgotten about. I have heard that egg donors are in short supply, so would have thought that they would be eager to have you.

I know what you mean regarding everyone else having babies. Even though you are happy for them, you sometimes want to stamp your feet & shout "I want one!"

Thanks for setting my mind at ease. Being forgotten about is something fixable. Better that than just generally being delayed and terrible at communication. I'll give them a day or two to reply to my e-mail, and if they don't I can call them on Friday (as am off work that day and it's awkward finding private places to make calls when I'm in the office)

I feel very much at the mercy of the clinic. I've done all the research I can, and yet I'm still waiting on their every word because I've never done this before. Who has?! They have been really good the times I've seen them. I just don't like the loss of control. Hopefully if egg donors are in such short supply then once they're back on the ball they can sort things out for me and some other lady/couple can get their chance too.

One of the pregnant family members I mentioned is my best friend and the person I would usually be sounding off to about how unfair it all seems, and how it's totally my turn next, but as she's just discovered she's pg with her 3rd, I'm going to have to rein in my whinging. It's totally my turn next in my circle of people - no one else gets to cut the queue!

I feel your pain, just found out that a referral I've been waiting for two months for has got lost in the system. They can trace it back to Dec 5th then the paper trail ceases. Therefore they have decided to raise the original referral request again. Bah! I have been chasing it consistently, I found my consultants Secretary's contact details online eventually. Don't know if this is something you could do? Also, my gp' s practice Secretary is a mine of useful contacts and information my new best friend
Hth

Oh no, Tinker that's not good. Good that they've raised it again for you, but a shame you've lost the time.

I'm not sure when my consultant gets back involved with things - everything seems to be sorted out with the nurse and the egg co-ordinator at the moment. I do still have his secretary's details, so that's definitely a good call. I hadn't even considered going to them. Thanks for the advice!

Well my e-mail seemed to work; I'm booked in for a scan and blood-taking on Monday - massively last minute, but luckily my boss is ok with my suddenly taking a day off. Don't want to make a habit of it though, esp as we're low on staff, so it's a bit noticable when people are suddenly taking random days off.

Will then have a follow up appointment at the end of Feb to go through the egg donation side of things.

Just need to remember not to come to work on Monday, and work out something fun to do with my afternoon off.

Definitely feel like things are moving now.

Yesterday's scan went well. I was most anxious about the roads and getting there on time (it's an hour's drive on notoriously bad roads) so I got there 20 minutes early and they were running about 10-15 minutes behind, so there was extra waiting!

Then my full bladder (an anxiety thing - I can usually pee like a trooper, but get me stressed and it doesn't want to leave!) and slightly hidden right ovary made the scan trickier than it needed to be, but we got there. I have 20 follicles in my left ovary and 12 in the right, which is a good sign that although covered in cysts, they're doing their job.

They took some blood too, so they'll get all the necessary tests done over the next 4 weeks before I go back to go through my second planning meeting.

The Donor Coordinator, who I had my scan with, mentioned that they do have an unusually high number of donors at the moment, but she's hopeful she should be able to match me up with a recipient in the next month so after my next appointment we might actually be ready to go!

Am trying very hard not to get my hopes up, and to be realistic that the success rate is around 50%, and I'm doing everything I can to make this work, but sometimes it just doesn't. Pragmatic thinking all the way.

Well, it's all getting very real.

I went back to the clinic yesterday and signed another forest's worth of forms; this time covering all the egg-donation side of things. They'd got the results for almost all of my blood tests; just a couple more to come, and then they'll look at when to book me in to get this thing going.

At the moment timings look like I'll either start down-regging in 2 weeks or, more likely, in 7-8 weeks. My cycle seems to have got itself comfortable at about 39-40 days, which is in many ways good as I have longer between periods, but when waiting to start IVF it's suddenly really annoying!

But yes, it's all about to kick off, I'm just waiting on dates. I've got a sniffer of Synarel ready to start either day 21 of this cycle or the next. Somehow actually having the first of the drugs has made it seem real. I'm about equal parts excited and terrified!

My AMH is high, and with the high follicle count in the last scan, they'll put me on the lowest dosage of drugs so as to keep risks of OHSS nice and low.

Last bloods came back without any issues, and I have been matched with a recipient, so will be sharing my eggs 50:50 with her. It would be too tight to try to turn it all round for this cycle, so I'm waiting until the end of the month, when AF is due, and I can then ring them up and get sorted out for all the drugs and the timetable etc.

All going well, I'm looking at egg collection at, roughly, the end of May; about 13 months after starting this thread.

Still waiting, only on day 24, so probably another fortnight to go before I can request all my drugs be sent out.

I popped out yesterday to get some more conception vitamins and to pick up my usual regular vitamins, as I usually do, then realised my regular vits have vitamin A, and are not recommended for pregnant women or women attempting to get pregnant. Sneaky vitamin A!

Hi frettchen just stumbled across your thread and have to say, how patient you have been! You did amazingly well to lose that weight Please keep updating us

Just out of interest what drugs/doses will you be on? I have pcos and high amh (63.5) and am worried about ohss. I start my cycle in April and am anxious and would be interested to find out what doses of medication others in same situation are on

Thanks for the lovely comments, Salad - I'll definitely keep updating, if only because it's an easy place o keep a sort of diary of what's going on.

Waiting - I don't know yet what my doses will be. I just know that they're going to put me on the lowest dose, and they're going to schedule in an extra scan during stimulation just so they can keep an eye on things. I'll post an update once I've got my schedule to let you know what my meds are. Good luck to you for April, I definitely get the anxious thing. I'll be sticking around here, so do pop in for a chat any time you need one.

Thanks, iam going to be on 112.5 it gonal f to start, really worried it will still be too much!

waiting is that for ivf? I'm currently injecting 300 of gonal f each morning (7 doses so far, scan tomorrow to see what is happening). When I had iui I was on 50 the first time and 75 the second, I got two dominant follicles each time. Hoping the 300 will have made some more!

(I don't have pcos, just wanted to reassure you that I'm on a much higher dose)

Well AF finally arrived. I'd made peace with my long cycles, but this last week of waiting and waiting was a stern test of my patience!

I've e-mailed the clinic to let them know I'm all good to go. I think what happens next is that they will arrange for me to get a parcel of drugs, and they'll get my egg recipient all lined up so she's going through the same prep ahead of my egg collection and then both of our embryo transfers.

It's all still a way off - according to the timetable the clinic gave me, EC would be around the 25th May, so there's more waiting to do, then plenty of sniffing of DR drugs, then the injections, the trigger shot, all the scans and stuff.

I'm definitely at that level of excited and nervous. The rational part of my brain is pointing out that there's still a long way to go, but I'm having a mini dance party with myself at having got this far.

I should be getting my dates some time this week - the clinic are just booking me in. Once I get the dates I think I'll book myself the week of EC/ET off work, just so I can be happy that I won't have to worry about keeping up appearances during that time.

Have had a bit of a naughty Easter, and the scales reflect that my weight has been creeping back up, so I'm back to keeping an eye on it; I've read that low-carb, higher-protein is good for during IVF, so will be easing toward that, although only gently. Smaller portions too, I think, to encourage the scales to start going back down a bit.

I think my upbringing (large portions, always finish what's put in front of you), the PCOS and my fairly sedentary lifestyle are going to mean my weight is always going to creep up unless kept in check. It's just that now I have more reason to pay attention to it.

Still no word from the clinic. I assume they're busy, and so are dealing with the people in front of them, not the people at home, waiting for an e-mail. All the same, I'd like to know what's going on, so have dropped them a quick mail (is next to impossible to call during work hours and guarantee talking to someone.) So hopefully that'll wake them up.

I suppose I don't need the drugs immediately; I should be down-regging as of the 21st, and I already have my first sniffer bottle. I guess it's more of a control thing. I'll be much less anxious when I feel more in control, which will be when I have the dates and when I can start to plan out what I will need to be taking and when. I'm not good at this waiting for people to do things malarkey! Especially when they're taking longer than expected.

At least the 2WW will have a set end point! Not that I'm getting ahead of myself...

Righty - my medication is going to be delivered on Friday morning, which just so happens to be my birthday! I should get my schedule through the post, so will be back to update with what I'll be taking and when (as well as an invoice... yay(!))

I've also got the dates of my first appointments; a down reg test, and two ultra sounds during stimms (am a high risk for OHSS so they'll be keeping an eye on me) The clinic itself is about an hour's drive from me, but they have a satellite clinic only 20 mins away, so I'll use that for everything except EC and ET.

Bit of a long update today in advance of things actually starting to happen.

So my drugs arrived, as expected, on Friday. What I didn't expect was quite how huge the boxes were. The stabby pens came in a chilled box with ice packs and much polystyrene; making it look for a moment like I had this huge box of drugs in my hands! It's definitely ramped up my excitement (and anxiety!)

According to the prescription, I'm going to be on 112.5micro grams of Gonal-F when I start, so that's the same as you are, Waiting - I guess that's the standard 'low' dose for those of us with dodgy, cyst-covered, over-eager ovaries. I've bought myself a couple of semi-naice water bottles to start to get into the habit of drinking more water during the day as I know that's something I'm really rubbish at, and Dr Google says that keeping properly hydrated is effective at lowering the risk of OHSS.

In the meantime, and slightly more pressing, the letter enclosed with my prescription and drugs schedule says that before my Down Regging Scan Appointment (11th May) I have to have another blood test, via my GP, to check for HIV, HepB & C. This is, presumably, not because I'm at risk, but to safe-guard the recipient of the eggs I'm donating. I don't mind the bloods being taken - I'm fine with needles - but I'm a teeny bit anxious about getting it all turned around in 3 weeks. I'm sure it's doable; my GP is generally really good at sorting out things like that, and I'm sure the results were back within the week last time I needed blood tests, so I'm sure it'll all be ready as required. It's just getting it sorted along with starting sniffing the down regging drugs (Synarel) next week. It's all really real!

Except I completely cannot remember if I'm supposed to do one sniff per nostril each morning or two in each nostril, so am going to have to check that out before starting on Tuesday! Gotta get my head in the game and get my timetable straight in my head ready to kick things off. I think I'll print out a weekly calendar so I can actually tick each day off as I'll be on the Synarel morning and evening, as well as the Metformin at each meal time, and a folic acid containing conception multi-vit.

I'm sort of alternating between being really eager to get things going, and really sick-to-the-stomach terrified that I'm putting all my hopes into this one round. I'm not sure how I would be able to afford another round, even with the egg sharing scheme, so there's a tiny part of my mind telling me that it's all or nothing. I'm desperate for Tuesday to arrive, and then for each of the scans to arrive just to sort of get it all over with so I can hurry up and know whether or not this gamble will pay off. I'm 5 weeks away from egg collection, and so am 7-8 weeks away from testing; assuming I even get that far and that I get good eggs and then good embryos and that I don't get OHSS and my ovaries don't try to kill me. I know I'm getting way ahead of myself, but yeah - a big part of me just wants to fast forward through the next 8 weeks and to either tentatively celebrate that it worked, or get into grieving and planning and figuring out next steps. Thankfully my pregnant best friend is due in 7 weeks, so is more than guaranteed to take my mind off things with her impending new arrival.

Definitely have to go to sleep now - have progressed to angsty waffling!!! Will be back in the week to update, with tales of starting down regging, and of organising blood tests.

Almost a year after starting this thread and I'm now officially down regging. I did my first sniffs of the Synarel this morning (2 sniffs; 1 in each nostril). No side effects yet, but then it's only been 4 hours!

The sniffs weren't too bad - it's like they're starting me with something easy, and then I'll progress onto the needles and the pessaries. Yay(!)

Frettchen - what an amazing thread. Good luck

Good luck Frettchen, I'm following with interest. Hope all goes well with the meds.

Thanks both. (Awesome name, Perspicacia - I'm definitely going to need to sort myself out a Pratchett name at some point.)

The meds are going well so far. The sniffs do leave a bad taste in the back of my throat, and I'm sort of gross and snotty thanks to a mild bout of hayfever, but no real complaints. Ok, I did accidentally leave the bottle at home this morning and am supposed to be going to my Mum's for dinner tonight, but otherwise am all over it!!!