Requesting referral to a fertility clinic

[Frettchen]

So I finally feel ready to start things rolling (long story short - looking to get pregnant on my own, using donor sperm. Diagnosed with PCOS last year - treating with Metformin, but stopped taking it for stupid reasons. Back on it now.)

I called my chosen fertility clinic yesterday but they don't allow self-referrals, so I've made a GP appointment which is in a fortnight. I figure I just have to go in and reiterate my position, then ask for a referral to the consultant/clinic? Presumably the GP will give the clinic my medical history, or I'll sign something allowing them to have it, so I won't have to be re-diagnosed on the PCOS front...?

I'm going to ask to be referred for IVF, as I don't think I'm ovulating properly, even when I was taking the medication, and it seems like the IVF is a more reliable option for my situation.

Anyone else currently in this situation/has been here? How long does it take to be referred?

[BlueKarou]

Day 4 of down regging update.

7 sniffs down, plenty more to go.

I'm looking for symptoms but not really finding any yet. I'm sure they'll come, but so far the hayfever is worse than down regging.

I had my blood taken this morning; forgot to ask when the GP would have the results, but I'll give them a call next Friday and see if they have them.

Have had a good exchange of words with my best friend this morning, talking about how we're both fairly terrified about life right now. It helps not to feel quite so alone in making big life choices and feeling uncertain about how to deal with the outcome. As I said to her, I'm both afraid I'll never get to be worrying about maternity leave and afraid I will.

At least by the end of May/beginning of June I should have a better idea of what to focus my worries on; the prospect of a reduced income or the prospect of not having a child.

[Frettchen]

Gah! Sorry about the namechange fail above! I'm trying to keep to Frettchen on this thread so they all get highlighted correctly for those who have the OP's post highlighted.

[PerspicaciaTick]

Oops .
Glad you are still ticking along. I did IVF a few years ago, it was such a rollercoaster of the bizarrely mundane, moderately undignified with this huge, immense life changing outcome looming over it all. Looking back it feels like a weird little bubble of time separate from the rest of my life.

[Frettchen]

Having a lousy day today. Tired, too hot, and headachey, after a late and busy night last night, so have written the day off as a duvet day.

It's sniff time now, then sleep. Gotta get through a week of work, a busy bank holiday weekend and then three days in the office before I'll get another chance to take it easy.

[Frettchen]

More with it today and yesterday. I'm definitely feeling tired, headachey and stressed, although some of that's possibly the awareness of potential side effects, the realisation that it's all actually happening, and just general work-related stress.

Nothing much more to say - another two weeks of this until my down regging scan. Am off out to the shops now to get some healthy protein-rich foods. Going to have to try really hard not to just pick up the junk food I'm longing for. Need to get used to using fruit as a sugar hit.

[Heels99]

Op, good luck with your Ivf.
Just wanted to correct you though where you had a rant that couples get Ivf free when singles don't. We spent £17k in 4 cycles of Ivf, no nhs funding available as we needed Icsi rather than straightforward Ivf. I beleive this may have changed now in some areas.

Hope you don't end up having the number of cycles we did, best of luck!

[Frettchen]

You're quite right, Heels, I did not word that rant very well at all. What I should have said is that couples are more likely to get one or more cycles funded by the NHS, but that doesn't make them more likely to succeed, and often will add longer waiting times. Sorry if me-from-the-past came across as a little insensitive. I have learned a heck of a lot about IVF and other fertility treatments in the last year, and am still a long way from being an expert!

My clinic have suggested that ICSI might be needed as I only bought one vial of sperm (never even thought I should do otherwise) and they can't guarantee that it will be the best quality. Hopefully it will be ok, but I've been told to not be surprised if it goes that way.

Many thanks for your well wishes. I will be keeping this thread updated no matter what happens.

I've been doing something very stupid. I spent some of yesterday expanding my list of potential baby names. I know it's foolishly early to even be thinking of that, but it's like there are two parts of me, one rational person who knows the success rates are something around 50% and one heartbreakingly optimistic person who thinks it is all going to work out a wonder first time. Need to rein in that second way of thinking.

[Frettchen]

Well hello withdrawal bleed. It's been barely 3 hours and I am more than fed up with you already.

TMI alert! I am exhausted today after a very busy Bank Holiday weekend (busy in a good way, but still tiring) and so was not thinking about the impending not-a-period that I knew was due. So yeah, this morning has been all kinds of fun with cramps, constipation (although this seems to be improving as I remind myself that drinking water is a good idea) and a generally tender feeling in my undercarriage. I'm very over this new development, can we move to the next bit already?

[birchygoo]

wow Frettchen I have just read your journey from the start - You really are an impressive lady. I will be following with interest and have my fx crossed for you x

[Frettchen]

Thanks birchy. I really don't feel that impressive. I know it's been a year, but I feel like my journey has been fairly straightforward so far. I've not had to deal with unexplained fertility; a dose of PCOS and a noticeable lack of XY chromosome'd person have been my only issues on the health and practical sides of things.

I'm sure it'll get much harder. I've been making plans as usual for the next month or so, all the while thinking that I might end up cancelling on people if stimms turns out to be all kinds of not fun, or during the 2ww (if I get there!) But yeah - right now it all seems bearable. Even yesterday's aches and pains are now down at normal period level. Not great fun, but not really impacting on my life.

[Frettchen]

Feeling all kinds of awful today, most of it not actually related to the IVF, although the sudden lightning pangs of cramping accompanying the withdrawal bleed are not my idea of fun.

I've got what feels like a cold coming on - have had a runny nose and headaches for a while now which I attributed to hayfever and the Synarel respectively, but since yesterday I've had what definitely feels like a sore throat. Will be downing the honey and lemon today in a futile bid to stave it off. Now is the worst time to be getting poorly.

Outside of my health I have a poorly pet I've just taken to the vets and who we're not sure what's wrong with, so I've had to book in for a scan and bloods on Monday, which means I have to drop him off at the vets just before I head off for my d/r scan. Scans for everyone and a whole load of extra stress for me.

And then there's the whole election thing which I'm just so disappointed with, but there's nothing to be done about that. I cast my vote, I made my tiny voice heard. We're all just going to have to deal with the fall out.

I'm tired and really fancy a cry, but my Dad's coming over today to help me out with some DIY, so shall put my frustration into that. Power tools shall have to be my salvation.

[Frettchen]

Yesterday was a heck of a long-feeling day.

I had my down regging scan at 10:20, and it was the quickest and easiest scan I've had so far. She looked at my uterus and measured my endometrium (2.2mm; well within the range required at this point) and then looked briefly at my ovaries and it was all done.

We went through the Gonal F pen and how to use it, and, after checking with the main unit that my egg recipient was also down regged, I've been given the go ahead to start the injections from Wednesday. I'm now trying to work out the best time to do them - I do things at the weekends which, in the next two weeks, will end up with me camping out in a field over night, so I'm trying to figure out how to keep the gonal f pen cool for a potential 30-36 hours. Will probably end up taking it in a cool box with some ice packs.

I'm still a little sore of throat and a little coughing, but not enough to call myself ill. Seem to be holding it at bay for now.

As for my poorly pet - he was in the vets yesterday under GA, which was perhaps the scariest part. I picked him up in the afternoon and he's back home now; living on the kitchen table for a little while. I think I've missed a call from the vets, but there was no voicemail, so I'll call them back on my lunchbreak and see what their tests are suggesting is wrong with him.

[Frettchen]

Well, the injections have started. I've done two so far and I must say they're pretty easy. I'm used to needles from blood doning, and from a couple of tattoos, and I must say these needles are incredibly thin - I can barely feel them.

News for the poorly pet was not so good. Sadly it's cancer, meaning there's nothing to be done to fix him. I have drugs to perk him up and reverse the symptoms a little, and might be lucky enough for him to have another few months, possibly even longer before his quality of life is more seriously affected, but will be playing it by ear. Am gutted as he's still fairly young; it just doesn't seem fair. I've ranted and raged at the wrongness and helplessness I feel off board, so won't go through it again here - want to keep mostly on topic. Looking after him is having the unexpected side effect of keeping me grounded through the IVF as I have something important to focus on alongside my own seemingly endless drug routine (Metformin with breakfast, Synarel at 9am, Metformin and Conception/Folic Acid with lunch, Metformin with dinner, Gonal F at 19:30 and Synarel at 21:00 - all the drugs!)

I'm out Saturday night, so that'll be my first experience of taking the injectables out with me and finding a private corner to quickly administer. If that goes well and the side effects don't descend with fire and fury I'll hopefully then be camping the following weekend (which will be day 11 and 12 of stimms, so it's entirely likely I'll be uncomfortable, achey and not in the mood for a camp bed and an early rise, in which case I'll not go.)

[Frettchen]

Quick c&p from the IVF thread;

My early morning date with the dildocam has revealed that my ovaries are responding as hoped - they might be covered in cysts but they're little egg machines. I've got 17 follicles on my left ovary, and at least 6 on my right (it was a bit hazy, so she sort of stopped counting once we'd got over 20.) Most look to be between 9 and 13mm, with a 6 and a 16 making up the outliers. I'm pretty chuffed with that - If I stick at 23 follicles then that will end up as 11 eggs for my recipient and 12 for me. I'm to continue on the same dose of gonal f (112.5) and twice daily sniffs of the Synarel and will be back in on Friday for a second scan. That second scan will be when we sort out what day next week we arrange the egg retrieval. Holy crap... That came around way quicker than I expected!

[Frettchen]

I've just had a moment of unabashed hope. I know it's a bad idea to get my hopes up; I've told myself this almost on a daily basis. I know it'd be the easiest all round if I set myself up expecting failure. But there was a moment of hope.

Not a big moment - not picking out baby clothes, or looking at furniture. I've done that before, but not since starting down regging. Not since it all became real. But a momentary thinking that, if it all goes to plan, this time in 8 or 9 days (ish) I could have an embryo on board. I could be technically pregnant. In two to three weeks I could be peeing on a stick and proving to myself thart there was the very beginning of a baby. I could be telling my mother in the most severe tones not to tell anyone anything until at the very least the 12 week scan, and knowing that she'd be telling everyone she met, either through work or out walking the dogs in the woods.

I have shoved this hope back into its box and replaced it with cautious realism. Tomorrow's scan will likely go well. After all, not much can really have changed in 48 hours, right? And, looking at the odds and the 23+ follicles, I'm likely to get enough eggs next week so that my donor and I both get a fighting chance. But after that it's hazy. The single vial of sperm I had shipped over from Denmark might not be good enough. There's no certainty of fertilisation, no certainty of blasts forming, let alone growing.

I feel like I should be working out my Plan B; like if I focus on the worst case scenario, then I'll be ready for anything. I can cope with a bad outcome if I know what I have to do next.

But for a moment today I indulged in some foolhardy hope, and it was bloody lovely.

[butterflyFairy1]

Wow Frettchen.. What a year you've had! I'm currently looking into doing this solo, too. Only thing is, is I don't have any fertility problems. So I had to self-refer to my loc fertility clinic within the hospital grounds but not actually in the hospital, and I'm so thankful that they do self referrals. Luckily, they're willing to take me on! I know it will be costly but I'm planning on egg sharing also. If I'm achieving my dreams, why should I be selfish and not help another lady? Just doesn't seem right to me. I've only just got my first email from the clinic, so clearly a very long way to go but I feel so nervous and undermined by the whole process already...!
Good luck, I will be following your thread :)

[Frettchen]

Hi butterfly, sorry I've not updated much recently. All sort's happened, but I've been posting on Purple's thread under my current MN nickname, BlueKarou, and have neglected this thread.

A quick runthrough of the past fortnight;
I had a scan on Friday 22nd, which showed my follicles were growing, but not as fast as needed to schedule collection, so I went back in for a third scan on the bnk holiday Monday (25th). They initially booked me for another scan the next Wednesday, but by the time I'd got back home I'd received an e-mail with instructions to go ahead with my trigger injection that evening.

Egg collection was Wednesday 27th May. It was the weirdest thing so far. I was all gowned up, and went into the small theatre where they strapped my legs into stirrups and put me under sedation. I woke up 20 or 30 minutes later and it was all done. They got 12 eggs from me. 6 of these went to my recipient, and my 6 got to mingling with my donor sperm.

I got the call the next morning to tell me 3 had fertilised normally, and transfer would be either the Saturday or the following Monday, depending on how things progressed. The Saturday morning's call told me all three were still ok, and to come in on Monday 1st June.

So on Monday 1st I went to the clinic. I learnt one of my 3 embryos had stopped developing, but the other two were good. Would I like to put one or two in? Given my age, they recommended only one, so I went with that, and opted to freeze the second. So it was back into a less comfortable set of stirrups, and they walked me through embryo transfer which was not comfortable (speculums are not fun) and one was put back in.

Which brings me to now. I'm on two Cyclogest pessaries a day (progesterone) which aren't as awful as I was expecting, although they are making me more tired than usual. I'm back to work on Monday, which won't be fun, but was always going to happen. Then Friday is my test day.


Exciting to hear you're also thinking of going it alone. I don't think my PCOS really counts as a serious fertility issue - women with PCOS are able to conceive naturally, it's just harder to time it, or at least that's my understanding. It has been a costly experience thus far, even with the egg sharing (which has helped a LOT!) but I figure it's money I haven't spent on dates and weddings and all that sort of stuff, so whilst I am aware it'd be different if I had a partner, I don't think that's a really big deal.

Good luck with your journey. I wish you all the best.

[butterflyFairy1]

You have done SO well to hold off on testing. I would've caved, I think!!!

What an amazing journey you've been on. I bet you feel relieved it's finally done..? I think I'll have to get my BMI down before I start, and I can't start or go to my first appointment until after the 14th September as I have work commitments for 12 weeks where I'm not allowed any time off, and then I'm off on a cruise a week after I stop the 12 week programme. So I have time to do so :)

It's fascinating reading through your story. I'm so glad you decided to share it with us, as it's been so insightful and helpful for me, and probably a few others. I'll have a look at that thread and see what's going on and I'll follow you through there.

Good luck for Friday.. Be sure to let us know!!

[chopsface]

Following your journey, good luck for Friday! X

[mrsmugoo]

Good luck!

[BlueKarou]

Thanks muchly all. It's weird to be back in the office with people who don't have a clue what the last couple of weeks (well, the last year!) have been like, or what the significance of Friday is. I've been lucky to have my mum, and my select group of close friends who know about it, so haven't felt completely alone. MN really helps too.

Butterfly - I had to get my BMI down to under 30 before I could start. I actually found it easy, if not quick, but only because I finally had the right motivation to lose the weight! I did a calorie controlled diet of around 1200 calories a day (using MFP), but not being too hard on myself if I slipped when visiting people. I cut out bread and pasta as much as possible. I've definitely gained some weight since starting the treatment, which is partially bloating and partially comfort eating, so I need to rein in the latter. Sounds like you've got a nice window of time to get things started with the weightloss, and at least you know going in that you're going to need it, rather than getting so far, then having to take time away from the mental preparation to get your body caught up.

[Frettchen]

Crap! The above is me. I'm totally regretting this namechange thing.

[Frettchen]

Holy crap y'all, I think it worked.

I've been looking online at post IVF timelines, just out of curiosity as to what the little embryo should be up to each day. I found this very interesting forum post, which suggested that today, 9dp5dt, would be the earliest HCG could be detected. So I figured, I had a spare FRER hanging around, and more internet cheapie tests than I knew what to do with. There'd be no harm in testing early. Especially as I know Friday's going to be a hectic day, so it almost made sense to sort of ease into the big reveal so as to make it easier to cope with.

I had some small cramps yesterday evening and felt the usual ravenous hunger that comes before AF, so there was a definite hit to my tentative positivity before bed time. All the same, I woke this morning and padded to the bathroom to find the two tests I had left out on the little cabinet thingy. Peed in a pot and dipped each one for the allotted time, then resolutely set a 3 minute timer and read a chapter of a book until it went off and I had to look. The internet cheapie was hard to figure out whether it was a faint line or wishful thinking, but the FRER was a line; bold as brass. (Pictures are on my phone, otherwise I'd've uploaded them for reassurance!)

I don't think it's likely to be anything residual from the trigger - I did an internet cheapie about a week ago and it came up definitely negative, so I was fairly sure the trigger drugs had left my system.

Nothing's official until Friday morning, but it's looking good.

[WinterBabyof89]

Just read your thread - a tentative congrats!!!
Really hope that this is it for you!

[KateR1980]

Fingers crossed for you!