Requesting referral to a fertility clinic

[Frettchen]

So I finally feel ready to start things rolling (long story short - looking to get pregnant on my own, using donor sperm. Diagnosed with PCOS last year - treating with Metformin, but stopped taking it for stupid reasons. Back on it now.)

I called my chosen fertility clinic yesterday but they don't allow self-referrals, so I've made a GP appointment which is in a fortnight. I figure I just have to go in and reiterate my position, then ask for a referral to the consultant/clinic? Presumably the GP will give the clinic my medical history, or I'll sign something allowing them to have it, so I won't have to be re-diagnosed on the PCOS front...?

I'm going to ask to be referred for IVF, as I don't think I'm ovulating properly, even when I was taking the medication, and it seems like the IVF is a more reliable option for my situation.

Anyone else currently in this situation/has been here? How long does it take to be referred?

[butterflyFairy1]

Aaaaaah!!! So excited for you Frettchen!!! You're SO close to having a family of your own; and by the sounds of it, you're definitely pregnant! Internet cheapies are always difficult to figure out - for some reason, I feel like the line is harder to see because it hasn't got the plastic casing of the "normal" pregnancy tests to shield the test strip from the light... If that makes sense???
I can't wait to get an update from you on Friday to tell us for definite. Have you got a blood test booked with the clinic you're at so they can check for definite to see if it's worked? I know some clinics do that on Testing Day, and you get the results within a few hours.
As I said, I'm so excited to read your update on Fri to give us a yay or nay. Fingers, toes & everything else is crossed for you x

[Frettchen]

This morning was the official test date, so I lined up three tests because apparently I don't believe in doing things by halves!

The official POAS kit from the clinic and the internet cheapie both came back with faint lines, but the last FRER again came back nice and bold.

I called the clinic and got through to answer phone, so rather than babble unintelligibly, I hung up and sent them an e-mail instead. I have now received a call from one of the nurses who's going to sort out another load of the progesterone pessaries which I'll have to take for another 4 weeks; morning and evening. She's also booked me in for a scan at the beginning of July, so I guess I'm on my own until then (not that a scan any earlier would really tell me all that much!) Then after the 8 week point I get handed back to the NHS and my local GP/midwife.

I think I'll believe it all a bit more once I've had the scan and a medical professional has confirmed it. I understand the tests and know they're showing positives, but aside from the tiredness and the slight loss of appetite, I guess I don't yet feel pregnant. I'm sure that will come, and I'll totally regret having said it once I'm sick and aching. The weirdest thing was the nurse telling me on the phone that I'm now 4 weeks pregnant. I find it so weird that they're measuring it back to before the transfer; especially considering that, due to the treatment, I've not had an actual period in ages. There was the withdrawal bleed at the beginning of May, but that wasn't a real period. Anyway - according to the internet, I'm 4w2d; that's a tenth of the way through already! This is based on the EDD that a different online calculator gave me, so am plenty ready for it all to change once people start scanning and measuring!

In the spirit of over-sharing, have attached a pic of this morning's three tests. The clinic one and the cheapie both look even fainter on the pic than they did in real life, but the FRER's super clear.

[Uponastarr]

Wow-congratulations!

Will you keep posting to keep us updated? it's been fab to read, as a fellow pcos person whose considering having a baby on my own it's so interesting to hear about your journey and such a great result.

[butterflyFairy1]

There's no denying it Frettchen... You're DEFINITELY pregnant!!! And I know you know this, but it felt good saying it to you, seeing as I've tracked your journey too!!!

It's amazing that you've managed to get there. I'm so happy for you, slightly jealous, but happy all the same ;) can't wait till it's my turn.

All you have to do now is sit back and relax and enjoy the symptoms as they've come! All these things will probably be a blessing to you as you've waited so long for them.

So excited, I hope you continue to let us in on your journey through pregnancy. And again.. Congratulations :) x

[KateR1980]

Congratulations :)

[Frettchen]

Thanks for the support! I will keep updating this; it really helps to have somewhere to ramble a bit about what's happening/not happening. I've told some people IRL, mostly the people who I see most often and who would have noticed all the extra drugs and the increased fatigue. They've been lovely, but I'm sure there's a limit to what people want to hear about a teeny tiny heart just beginning to form or neural tubes! (Can you tell I've found a day-by-day calendar of pregnancy? It's strangely addictive; checking what's happening on this day.)

I'm getting plenty of fairly gentle cramps, which is apparently normal as things start to stretch and prepare. I'm still tired; but then I was away helping out at a mini festival thing this weekend, and I never sleep very well when I'm camping. By far the biggest of my 'symptoms' is that I'm constantly needing to pee. I read a factoid online which said that in pregnancy you make 45% extra blood volume. No idea how true that is; but that would explain the extra drinking and peeing, and the needing to have a good high iron level.

Uponastarr, I'm glad I've been able to show you one possibility of what a woman with PCOS and no partner/no desire to wait for a partner, can do. Good luck in whatever path you take. I've found I've still got people, both in the know and not, who are saying 'oooh, you should get yourself a man' or making similar comments about my being single. I'm very much over this expectation of doing things the 'normal' way. It didn't happen for me and I'm actually more than happy with the life choices I've made and the direction my life is currently going. I don't find myself wanting a partner, male or female. The only thing that would be nice would be the extra income; but I guess most people, single or couple, would like some extra money each month, so it doesn't strike me as being a big enough reason to compromise my wants, wishes and lifestyle.

[BlueKarou]

A week later and not much has changed in my tiny part of the world. I'm still constantly exhausted, and suspect I might be beginning to get a cold - am all snotty and sneezy. I think I'm going to leave the office this afternoon and head straight home to the sofa for a nap. Dinner can wait!

Going to go out and walk around the work grounds now in a bid to wake myself up a bit, and to get a fresh pack of tissues from the car.

[Frettchen]

Apologies to those of you looking for the highlighted posts. I am the worst.

[BurningGubbins]

Frettchen, I just found and devoured your thread this evening. Fascinating and exciting - congratulations!

[Frettchen]

Apparently Monday seems to be my weekly update day, even when there's not a lot to be updating.

This time next week I will have had my scan and should hopefully have some irrefutable proof that this is all real. I'm sort of terrified. My most unhelpful thoughts are pointing out all the things that could have gone wrong, or could still go wrong in the next 7 days. It's a rubbish way of coping with anxiety; definitely not one I'd recommend. I'll be fine once a lovely lady with an ultrasound machine tells me it's all ok; just need to hear it from a professional.

Otherwise, not much to add - I survived my cold, am pretty much finished with the sneezing. Symptoms are still at a discreet low; have had very tender nipples; we're at that stage of no-filter, right? Where else I can talk about my nipples with strangers on the internet and it not be weird... I'm tired, and am seeking out junk food/sweets to provide a quick energy boost.

My daily pregnancy calendar thingy told me yesterday that I may be experiencing mood swings and/or irritability. That was definitely right this weekend! A couple of times I found myself between the edge of tears, and wanting to snap at someone. Oh the fun(!)

[Frettchen]

I definitely believe it now. I have seen a tiny flickering heartbeat on a blurry, black and grey ultrasound scan!

Measuring normal for 7w5d, which is always good. I do have a slightly swollen left ovary, which is a left over thing from the IVF stimms drugs. Scan lady didn't seem too concerned, but did put it in my notes to be passed to the midwife, who I now need to get in touch with and book my Booking Appointment.

The best news is that I can finish off my remaining Cyclogest pessaries and then that'll be it - in a week and a bit I'll be done with the progesterone boost and hopefully a bit less shattered!

[cooperG]

Just found this thread and read the whole thing, and wanted to offer my congratulations to you op what an inspiring story - please carry on updating.

And hopefully soon it'll be my turn

[Frettchen]

Thanks cooper, I shall keep my fingers crossed that you get to join this rollercoaster soon.

I've spoken to my community midwife now, and arranged my booking in appointment, so that's next week on Wednesday. Yay!

In less happy news, I'm struggling today. I know it's a combination of the hormones messing my emotions up, the cyclogest which is probably half responsible for the tiredness and queasiness, and a probably-badly-timed new puppy who isn't quite housetrained, and can't sleep through. But yeah - my head's all over the place right now and I just want to sleep, or cry, or yell at someone. My mother, who I feel I have to add is the most supportive and helpful of people, and who is kindly looking after said new puppy whilst I'm stuck at work, is just driving me up the wall. It's as if she can only say the exact things that are going to trigger my bad mood. I know she doesn't mean it, but as I said, head's totally all over the place.

I can't wait until home time when I can nap and try to regain some sanity.

[dizzylemon]

Thanks for this Frettchen. As someone with a polycystic ovary (only one of them left thanks to ginormo cyst) and with absolutely no whiff of a pregnancy for the year I've been trying, it's really good to get a first hand account of what would be expected if I go down the IVF option.

I'd always said in my early twenties that I'd end up with a sperm bank baby, but unbeknowst to me, I was fortunate to find somebody lovely after 'kissing' a number of frogs, so can well understand not wanting to bother with the wait to find someone even slightly suitable.

[Frettchen]

Hi lemon. I'm really happy my ramblings are helping you. I know when I was gearing up for getting going with the treatment I was reading pretty much everything I could lay my hands on to make sure I knew what was going to happen to me. I was lucky in that I had a very good clinic who kept me informed at every step of the way.

A couple of really miserable days this week where I felt too queasy to eat very much, but by not eating I was probably making myself feel worse. I have forced down a chicken baguette today and definitely feel less likely to throw up. Am considering a cheeky McDonalds after work to celebrate the end of a difficult week - the carbs will be good for my stomach, right?!

I've decided to tell my boss on Monday. She's been off on holiday this week, so will hopefully be in a good mood. I know I can wait and don't have to tell anyone this early, but I feel a little security from Monday's scan, and it'll make things a bit easier as next week's midwife appointment is at a really awkward time in the afternoon and if it's going to be a long one with all sorts of stuff to go through I'd feel a bit less awkward if I told boss the truth rather than another vague reference to 'medical appointment'. I'll ask her not to tell anyone else until I've got to that magical 12 weeks, so I still get to control when the news officially comes out.

[Frettchen]

Finished the Cyclogest pessaries last week and I'm finally feeling a bit more human; my appetite's coming back. I am getting the pregnancy rage; irritability over small slights, but am trying to keep a handle on that. I'm still tired pretty much all of the time, but I guess that's something to get used to?

I told my boss last week. She was surprised, but has been really supportive; in a rare moment of just the two of us in the office she asked how I was doing etc. I'm not telling anyone else until after the 12-14 week scan, so it's good to have one person in the loop, just in case anything happens. I'm planning on bringing cakes in once I've had my scan, just so I can underline that it's really good news - I have no idea how people will react, just because I'm not following the traditional route, so I want to make it very clear that this wasn't some accident I'm making the best of, without going into all the IVF details.

I had my MW booking in appointment last week and it only took half an hour, so I was back in the office fairly quickly. Filled out a billion forms, and have the bloods and scan requests to take to the hospital when it's scan time. I also have a big plastic Bounty folder, with a couple of magazines; and covered with big pink references to Pregnancy. Might find something more discrete to carry my notes around in...

[PerspicaciaTick]

Hi Frettchen - your thread just popped again Congratulations - I'm thrilled for you and so pleased that your mum and boss re being supportive.

There's nothing discrete about pregnancy .

[Frettchen]

11+1 update (because I'm failing at the weekly updates, and things aren't really happening weekly at the mo.)

Life sans Cyclogest is wonderful! Well, mostly. The constant queasiness and food aversion is gone. Sleep is my new issue; between having a young puppy, and having a sleep-averse bladder I'm not often getting a full 8 hours sleep. Last night was particularly fun as I woke up to pee at 12 (after sleeping for about 45 mins) then was up with a bad tummy at 2:30, up again to pee at 4am, then finally got almost 4 hours of sleep before waking at 8am. so yeah; shattered all the time.

I lost a bit of weight on the Cyclogest, but expect to put that right back on now I like food again! I've got the beginning of a bump, although to untrained eyes I imagine I just look like I've been eating too much! Anything tight around my belly is starting to annoy me, but otherwise I'm still in normal clothes and still keeping the secret amongst work colleagues.

I'm just waiting for my scan appointment letter. Still plenty of time until the scan window, so am not worried, but would quite like it to come soon. Am away this weekend, so will start to make a little noise next week if it's not come through.

[dizzylemon]

Good to hear you're doing well. The sleep thing might get better I hope. I have to get up that many times some nights and I'm not even preggo

[GoooRooo]

I've just read this whole thread and gave a little cheer when I saw your BFP! Congratuations!

[PontyGirl]

fantastic thread! congratulations to you, you sound wonderful.

[chopsface]

Congratulations!! I hope you're feeling well x

[pickle162]

Well I've just read the whole thread, so nice to hear from someone in a similar position-I don't have pcos but 31single,not bothered about a partner. I'm hoping to have donor iui in the fairly near future....I've chosen my clinic just in that horrid stage of trying to save save save before I can get started. I've told a few friends of my plans and these types of websites have been a godsend to know it's not abnormal for single ladies to go solo. Hope your pregnancy is progressing well!! :) x

[Frettchen]

Thanks for all the well-wishing. Huge apologies for abandoning this thread, I completely didn't mean to!

Anyhoo, just popping my head above the parapet to say that I'm now 26+6 and all is well; I'm having what appears thus far to be a beautifully normal and boring pregnancy. Couldn't have asked for more. Bump is growing, baby is kicking, and I'm flipping exhausted all the time, but I'm really not complaining! Well, not too much at least.

[dizzylemon]

Boring is good I also hope to continue being boring (Also I spoke to soon above - am 19+4 myself!)