Anyone else feeling like the world is against them?

[spence24]

OK, so this may sound like a selfish question and I should be happy for others, but in the last few weeks I've been getting the feeling that the universe just doesn't want me to be pregnant, but everyone else is just fiiiiine...

I found out yesterday that an ex-colleague, who is nearly 40, had never wanted children and was happy being child-free, as well as being told she was infertile, is four months pregnant by accident.

My best friend conceived both her children on her first cycle. My mum had me and my brother by accident. My cousin never wanted children. Her accidental son is nearly ten years old now.

We've been trying for four months now - and I know it is "only" four months, but I'm almost feeling bad for wasting the NHS's money on contraception for the last twelve years as it appears it may not have been needed.

Sorry, I needed to rant as it's bringing me down a bit, and none of my friends know that we're TTC so it's been building up.

Both of my dad's sisters are infertile and I've been told that if we haven't conceived by June I can get some tests done, even though I'm only 28. But they can't do it any sooner as I don't know the reasons behind their infertility as I don't have a relationship with that side of my family.

Is anyone else feeling like this, am I justified in having a "why me?" moment - or am I just overthinking it all?

And apologies for the autocorrect. Am sat in the car outside the school waiting for stepdaughter to finish!

Wow Laura congrats on winning the holiday that is greattt, that should defiantly help take your mind off things, you sound in desperate need of a Holiday too with everything going on medically never mind adding ttc in the mix! I may take you up on the recommendation for Bad Neighbours sounds like like you let your hair down and had a good time :) xxx

Hi Spence :) so nice to hear from you glad your ok. Woww it sounds like you have had a lot going on hope the move went well and wasn't too stressful. Im really sorry to hear about the chemical pregnancy :(
kudos to you for keeping positive though I really hope you get your BFP soon and it sticks xxxx

Spence - so so sorry to hear about your chemical pregnancy - nature is a bloody cruel thing...

Nature, as it turns out, is also a complete fluke. Having waited since Jan for af and being spurred on by you wonderful ladies I decided to make the second blood test appt today before we go on hols at end of May. So what happened when I got home? A very faint beginnings of af! Wow. Along with 'pinging' feelings in lower tum. Hmmm. More than the entire time since Jan - watch this space!

Thanks Impatient - I think Barbados may cure any condition!!!

How's everyone getting on?

Lauraqc - I'm v pleased for you that something has finally happened! I'd have been going mental. Are you still going to push the doc for an answer? I've not pressed the doc yet for me re pregnancy, however have managed to push for certain treatments for other issues (physio, benzos and outpatient CBT course). Just find if you go in informed it's harder to be fobbed off? But I do agree, docs have an amazing ability to fob you off. When I went about my ibs she just said "oh lots of people have that" - great!

My clearblue stick says I'm having an lh surge now, so, on the basis it's a bfn, this cycle will be 49 days/50 days. Fuck my body.

Anyway, my job meeting went well, and I've got an interview on Tuesday. The place is hiring 2 roles. My colleague is going for the other job - he's quite good fun so it would be nice to go with a 'buddy'. Focusing on a new better job takes the edge off this pregnancy thing, if anything getting knocked up now would be an inconvenience!!

Come on Sod's law, work your magic....

Happy sunny weekend everyone! X

Hi all, hope everyone's been having a lovely day today in the sun??

Icy - glad to hear your meeting went well...now waiting for Sod's Law to kick in for you..! I agree it's good to have a different focus...I think we're pretty alike - I too have had IBS in the past which I've basically had to manage myself. Very exciting that you're having a surge now - lots of dtd planned I hope..!!

Well af never kicked in for me. I've had lower stomach pains daily this week, especially in left ovary area. Really thought it was coming. Done test - bfn - before you ask!

Have felt very down in the dumps this week, today being no exception. DH was quite sympathetic for a short while and now just keeps asking 'what's wrong with me' as I dissolve into tears yet again. Shite. Have booked a second blood test for Thursday but can't get an appt to even talk about the results til 11th June!! Something is going to have to happen I can't wait that long...

Hello you're all very quiet...hope everyone's ok...?

Hi Laura Hope your ok
For me this week has not been good. Started bleeding Monday and went to hospital they arranged a scan for Wenesday, it was sad news. Wasn't sure whether to say or not as didn't want to bring gloom to the thread xxxx

Oh no bless you I'm so sad to hear that :( this is definitely a cruel world with no sense sometimes :( thinking of you xxx

It defiantly is Laura :( The thing is they couldn't say for sure what happened as i wasn't scanned till Wednesday. So i'm not sure if i miscarried or it was a chemical pregnancy, the chemical pregnancy route would bring me a little bit of comfort. So i just have to think of it as a loss.

They took blood Wednesday. I Had to go back today to the same place they scanned me so they could take another blood sample. They compared it to Wenesdays blood to check the HGC levels have dropped to rule out an ectopic pregnancy.

The HGC levels were very low on Wednesday at 20 and have dropped to just under 10 so at least I don't have to worry about something awful like that. I have to do a pregnancy test at home in a couple of weeks to make sure the hgc has left my body and call them with the outcome. Who would think I would have to be doing a test to get a negative result xxxx

Impatiently waiting - I'm so sorry to hear that. Hope you're bearing up & you've got lots of support irl xx

Laura - did you have the blood test? That it takes until 11 June for a discussion is ridiculous. They may as well just let you know the results so you can consult dr google. Any further signs of af? Completely understand with the tears. I find I'm fine all week (when I have to get up and go), it's the weekend when I've got time to mope they come most.

Me, I'm a week into 2ww, not holding my breath. Got a 2nd interview with the new job people. Money doesn't bring happiness but I might as well be earning more if ShitBody isn't going to play ball!

Impatient - the irony in having to poas to get a negative - not lost on here :( very crap and the weather's not doing much to cheer us all up is it?!

Icy - oooh exciting that you're through to 2nd interview - congrats! I'm hoping that distraction is when things happen!!

I've had the blood test on Thursday, i'll ring for the result on Wednesday but we're off to Barbados one week today and so if i can't get some kind of cancellation appt then i'll have to wait anyway to the 11th for my appt with the Dr....it's like it's all boiling up in my head though and I think I'm just going to be firm and ask to be referred. No other signs of af and did a test on Weds (just before blood test to be sure) which was negative....

Waiting is a crappy game!!

Hi Icy

Thank-you for that xx some parts of the day I feel strong others I just feel so down. Got lots of support which i'm grateful for but sadly there's not much anyone can do or say to make things better.

Well done on getting through the first meeting/interview and keeping fingers crossed for you for the 2nd one xx

Laura Yes its very Crap I will just be glad when its all over with. The weather has had bright spots today but majority of the day has been dreary.

Hopefully you can get a appointment soon so you can at least go off to your holiday without it hanging over you and having to deal with it when you come back. I hope you have a lovely time and enjoy yourselves xx

Waiting is indeed crap. I'm 11dpo now, was symptom spotting like a lunatic; got thoroughly overexcited as I felt twingey feelings around nipples and have a lot more cm than usual. POAS this morning and negative. I know that doesn't mean that much particularly, that if I am pregnant it's still a by early, but I'm pretty sure that's me out for this cycle.

On the basis it doesn't happen this month, OH and I have agreed to go and have some tests run privately.

Not over until it's over, but not feeling hopeful. FUCK!

Hi Icy, I got a Negative 11dpo as it was still a bit early I got my BFP at 12dpo the I.C I used were very faint and confused me so I brought a boots Digital test pack of 2 and that confirmed I was pregnant. I don't want to raise your hopes but I wouldn't say your out of the running yet . I found this site good

www.countdowntopregnancy.com/tools/pregnancy_test_calculator.php

Good luck and hope your meeting goes/went well? xxxx

Hey. I used boots digital ones, pack of 2, another negative today.

Interview is later today. Need something to focus on other than ShitBody.

Yes that countdown to pregnancy website, do a daily negative hpt and watch with growing despondency as your "negative" results bar gets smaller and smaller. So rubbish.

Going to start investigating fertility clinics for tests. Can't face this again not knowing.

Hey all,

So...Icy...how has your second interview gone today?!?!?

I rang to get my test results today and I was told they were 'satisfactory, but please make an appointment with the Dr' which I've already got for 11th June....so, looks like phantom problems despite no period for almost 6 months. Harrumph. Even really strong acupuncture doesn't seem to be working at the moment...I'm officially boggled. Good thing we're in Barbados next week so I can get my head around it all....

Hey ladies! I'm back again. So after some time away from everything and started a new job, I'm still not pregnant! Had my blood test on day 20 of my cycle and results are all good meaning I am ovulating as I should be. Also started taking pregnacare conception from just taking Folic acid alone. Thought I would increase mopey chances a little more.

It's been about 8 months now that we have been trying. One thing left to do is have the other halfs swimmers checked out.

I've just had yet another aunt flow week which really p**d me off. I really thought I had it this time.

I'm really loosing the will to trying for a baby. So frustrated as where I work it's family welcome in the cafe so always see kids and cute babies etc. I'm even crying as I write this cos I sooooo want a little 'un!

Hey Mims!

Awww i hope it happens soon for us all! Glad to hear all is well otherwise with everything working as it should...! Even my DH is starting to notice littlies everywhere! Fingers crossed for us all xxx

Hi girls, really sorry to muscle in on your group but just felt your title calling to me today whilst sitting in the waiting room at the docs waiting to have my mc confirmed and listening to a group of teens discussing which contraception they were going to ask for ( shockingly misinformed) and all their friends who had had 'accidents' ahhghghgh why is that fair? I wanted to speak to them and explain that I felt the same as them once and just wanted to avoid pregnancy/periods as much as possible but now regret it SO MUCH ??

Aliice that's awful. Hope you're doing ok, so sorry to hear about your MC. Do you have lots of support irl? Can't imagine what you must feel like. Xx

Agree on the teenagers / the generally feckless who sneeze and there pregnant. Not fair, but then life isn't I guess. Wank.

HI ICYSorry that you got a bfn and you didn't find the site helpful. I was using it more to gauge when was the least disappointing time to test i find the the earlier you test the more disappointing it is, we are all different though xx

I hope your Interview brought better news? xx

Hi Laura

It all sounds very frustrating for you :( I know it doesn't take the problems away but I really hope you have a lovely time in Barbados next week and are able to give your head a break from it all xxxx

Hi Mims

That sounds really tough, it is hard seeing baby's and family's everywhere, especially at work. Where i used to work, i would see children and baby's everyday and sometimes the mums would put them up on the counter if they were fussing at being left in their pram. Gave me an ache in my heart. Glad to know all is working as normal, but i don't imagine that brings you comfort 8 Months on xxx

Hi aliicecream

I'm so sorry to hear of your Mc, cant imagine how you must be feeling right now. I hope you have lots of support, although sadly i don't think there's anything anyone can say to make you feel better.

I suffered a Loss on the 19th/21st May (started bleeding and cramping 19th, was confirmed on scan there was no pregnancy on 21st). Not sure if it was a chemical pregnancy or miscarriage, they couldn't confirm it they said we just class it as a miscarriage.

If that was me sitting in the waiting room i would feel very upset and angered, it must have been very hard for you to listen too hugsssss xxxxxx