Anyone else feeling like the world is against them?

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OK, so this may sound like a selfish question and I should be happy for others, but in the last few weeks I've been getting the feeling that the universe just doesn't want me to be pregnant, but everyone else is just fiiiiine...

I found out yesterday that an ex-colleague, who is nearly 40, had never wanted children and was happy being child-free, as well as being told she was infertile, is four months pregnant by accident.

My best friend conceived both her children on her first cycle. My mum had me and my brother by accident. My cousin never wanted children. Her accidental son is nearly ten years old now.

We've been trying for four months now - and I know it is "only" four months, but I'm almost feeling bad for wasting the NHS's money on contraception for the last twelve years as it appears it may not have been needed.

Sorry, I needed to rant as it's bringing me down a bit, and none of my friends know that we're TTC so it's been building up.

Both of my dad's sisters are infertile and I've been told that if we haven't conceived by June I can get some tests done, even though I'm only 28. But they can't do it any sooner as I don't know the reasons behind their infertility as I don't have a relationship with that side of my family.

Is anyone else feeling like this, am I justified in having a "why me?" moment - or am I just overthinking it all?

Haven't read too much but supposedly they can dry up CM. (But then so can clomid and I'm taking that too!)

I read that about antihistamines too. So I've not taken them. Also ibuprofen. Can't remember why not to take them, but there was a reason.

SMEP starts fully this weekend. Ov due around the 12th and I'm honestly feeling sick at the thought of the 2ww, the worry, the excited 'what if', hoping so hard and then the absolute fucking plummet into tears and anger and WHY FOR FUCKS SAKE WHY rage that's more than likely to happen on 26th, when I'm sat at my stupid fucking sodding desk, surrounded by colleagues, not friends, all of those fuckers have kids no bloody problems lucky for them.

I think I need to re-set my mindset to be one that 'it isn't going to happen, your body is fucked, your periods are fucked, it's not going to happen, don't be down about it, it is what it is'. But then I worry that that negative mindset will make it even less likely. Think myself out of it.

HOW IS IT THAT FUCKING DRUG TAKING, BINGE DRINKING FUCKING TEENAGERS MANAGE IT? I SEE HUGELY OVERWEIGHT WOMEN ON THE TUBE WITH BABY ON BOARD BADGES - - HOW DO YOU MANAGE IT?!

I HATE THIS. I can't get a new job because 'what if', but what-fucking-if may well end up being 'not for you'.

It's sickening.

Sorry, in a proper 'why is the world against me' mood. Need to rail.

Icy it really is shit isn't it! Don't be too hard on yourself Hun... Easier said than done I know

Thanks for all the support ladies! My scan went as well as it could have I guess. There looking in to whether I have PCOS or not. Upside I didn't need an internal because whatever she was looking for was clear; downside I nearly wet myself after having to drink sooooo much! I was jiggling about all over the place and the appointment was half an hour late!!

Not sure if I'm looking forward to finding out the results or not.

How's everyone else holding up?

Hi Victoria401

I find that too with AF I almost treat it as a break from ttc despite the other discomforts that come with AF. I treat myself to a little drink and try to find a positive flip side to it not happening that month, helps a little bit xx hope things are settled between you and oh now and great no work for a while woohoo hope you have a great Hol lots of baby dust :)

Hi ToAvoidConversation its a pain isn't it all these different recommendations about what this does and what that does :( hope your doing ok apart from the hayfever xx

Also... Icy just remembered that I think ibuprofen is linked to miscarriage. Not sure where I heard it or how I know that but it rings a bell.

Icy sorry to hear your having a tough time yes it is crap :(

I totally get the situation about being in limbo with getting a new job as well, you don't want to make the jump to a new job incase you do get the wonderful bfp and wont know where you stand but at the same time you don't want to find yourself months down the line in the same job and no sign of a BFP xx

I'm looking at getting a new job after being off work over a year due to illness and redundancy and a bit torn ....

Hope you are feeling a bit better after your rant take care of yourself xx

HI Sherbert

Glad to hear scan was ok and yes at least it wasn't an internal most uncomfortable (i find them painful myself) especially with a full bladder!

And half hour late typical!

Im sure all will be ok and keeping my fingers crossed for you

xx

Icy you need to give yourself a break and enjoy the life you have at the moment until you get your BFP. I hope you don't have as long to wait as me but it can really eat away at you.

Icy- how you feeling today? We all know exactly the feelings your feeling, they are totally fine to have the feelings and maybe just maybe this is your time! At the same time could you maybe look to change jobs? I can't imagine with being with just colleagues day in day out, maybe if you could find a job which had lovely people in this would help the days?

SMEP has started in our household day 13 today, we have been religious day 8, day 10, day 12, not a high on the monitor yet but have had the moderate sign since day 8 so thinking tomorrow or Sunday a high where we can do every night for the 3 nights hopefully over bank holiday?!

Been taking lots of supplements both DP and I which were recommended for our multiple miscarriages and his low crazy formed sperm! However first 2 weeks at that so will take 3 months at least to see a difference I believe.

How's every one else?

X

Hi girls, happy Friday :-)

icy I hope you feel a little better today, I feel your pain though....

sherbert I'm sorry to hear scan was delayed! The first one I had was late and I was absolutely dying! Luckily the 2nd was actually 20 mins early! I needed an internal one too though but they let u empty your bladder inbetween. I hope the results are good. Did you have the scan because of blood results? I had slightly high LH.

I know what you been about the job thing too. I was offered new training and responsibility in my current job and I was scared of accepting in case I became preg and would no longer be able to do it. It was something I really wanted to do so I accepted. I've been doing it 13 months now! You just got to go for it!

Hope you're all doing lovely things on the weekend.

Hi ToAvoidConversation Hope your well

Icy hope your feeling better today xx

Hi dildoos Thanks so much for clarifying the SMEP in an earlier post i kept seeing it all over mumsnet but was oblivious to what that meant!
Glad to hear your keeping up with the SMEP and keeping my fingers crossed for you with the supplements xx

Happy Friday Victoria
Know what you mean about the job thing you just have to make the leap :)

Thanks impatient and Victoria. I haven't had any bloods done yet. My mum has a history of dodgy periods and I haven't had a period for 4 months now so the doctor suggested that a scan would be best first.

No doubt I'll have some bloods taken when the results are in

Hi Sherbet

ahhh i see hopefully its something quite incomplex to sort out that's causing it fingers crossed for you , I know the not knowing is no fun is it :(

(p.s how do you do the different faces on here? I can only do a smile or sad face)

Yoo-Hoo ladies! Back from a lush weekend away in London doing all sorts of stuff I couldn't have done if we had a little one! Was brilliant!

Back to the drawing board now though with supplements and ov tests and feeling calm again today. Still no af, not even a little sign of it! Had my regular acupuncture the other day and was almost convinced it'd come but no.

Seems like loads of you have been on here and sorry to hear some of you are feeling blue :( but the sun is shining and it's a bank hol weekend (even though I'm working tomorrow one of the busiest days of the year!!) so stick a smile on for us all!!!

Lauraqc glad you had an amazing weekend and made the most of being a couple. Did you go sight seeing or just lay ins and drinking? Or both?

We are off out tonight first time in along time so very excited

I am going to actually drink and give myself a break

May actually regret it tomorrow but hey oh off I go

Hi ladies, hope you're all having a wonderful bank holiday! Just wanted to pop in with a little ray of hope.... had my totally unexpected BFP this week, cycle 8! Am crossing EVERYTHING it will stick. So the world is not totally against us! Good luck to you all x

Thanks impatient, I hope you're right! And I'm on my phone and the faces just come up at the top. Sorry that's not much help!

Laura- glad you had a good time! Loving the positivity

Dildoos- hope you're feeling ok today! Haha!

Rpopz- congratulations!!!! FX for your little sticky bean

RPopz!!! Yaaaaay!!! Congratulations! Amazingly brilliant news for a gorgeous sunny bank hol!!!

We tried for 7 months while I was 27 and DH 25. By the end I was convinced I was not going to be able to do it naturally.

Got pregnant on cycle 7 using acupuncture. Don't lose hope.

Hi Sherbet Not to worry :))

Hi laura Glad to hear you had a great weekend and a break away from ttc

Did you have a good time Dildoos

Rpopz Yayyyyyyy congratulations lovely news :))

Welcome Some dizzy :)

Thank-you for words of encouragement and congrats on pregnancy

CONGRATULATIONS rpopz that's made my night :-)
Thank you all had a fab night ( had cheeky cocktails ) back on the wagon to keep on plodding towards a sticky!

How's is everyone doing? Have you all had a lovely bank hols? We had glorious sunshine, we are now gloriously red

Glad you had a good time Dildoos :)

Hello ladies hope its ok to share I took a test and Got a BFP !