Anyone else feeling like the world is against them?

[spence24]

OK, so this may sound like a selfish question and I should be happy for others, but in the last few weeks I've been getting the feeling that the universe just doesn't want me to be pregnant, but everyone else is just fiiiiine...

I found out yesterday that an ex-colleague, who is nearly 40, had never wanted children and was happy being child-free, as well as being told she was infertile, is four months pregnant by accident.

My best friend conceived both her children on her first cycle. My mum had me and my brother by accident. My cousin never wanted children. Her accidental son is nearly ten years old now.

We've been trying for four months now - and I know it is "only" four months, but I'm almost feeling bad for wasting the NHS's money on contraception for the last twelve years as it appears it may not have been needed.

Sorry, I needed to rant as it's bringing me down a bit, and none of my friends know that we're TTC so it's been building up.

Both of my dad's sisters are infertile and I've been told that if we haven't conceived by June I can get some tests done, even though I'm only 28. But they can't do it any sooner as I don't know the reasons behind their infertility as I don't have a relationship with that side of my family.

Is anyone else feeling like this, am I justified in having a "why me?" moment - or am I just overthinking it all?

Good morning and for first time in weeks I am feeling positive :-)

Laura, Victoria and roc! Sorry for AF roc ( bloody things arrive just to let you know it's not your turn and it makes that 100% worse! If the way you found out was via free spa day ticket posted through the letter box that would make things so much nicer hey??)
Laura and Victoria- stats are rubbish for us women really- why is it the ones that get up duffed alcoholics and drug users or one night stands? I thought once maybe this was the way forward but luckily stopped ones self by being to poor and not fancying an STD to venture down these roads

Right back to my positivity yup I am on cycle 37, but I have had miscarriages so that's a positive , right? Means I can get pregnant!

So this month I am using my clear blue fertility monitor, I have been taking pregnacare conception and 1000mg vitamin c as read good to avoid miscarriage and I am going to try for first cycle ever the concieve plus lubricant apparently makes a perfect environment up there also I am going to try SMEP ( sperm meets egg plan) for anyone oblivious to this plan you start. DTD on day 8, then every other day until you ovulate ( highly rx a monitor for this as you know exactly when your high days are) on ovulation you DTD every night for 3 nights, then you miss a night and then have one last try .

So if after all this and 2 holidays in may I am not on a successful pregnancy we are going to head for IVF we have saved for 3 goes so here's hoping our savings will be put to better use on a new kitchen!

Has anyone any other tips for me to try I. My long list?

Anyway happy Sunday ladies xx

Wow dildoos what a plan! We had intended doing smep last month but dh was being difficult! Got into bed naked waiting for him on cd8 but he comes to bed at 1am and I can't keep my eyes open! Ended up dtd morning on cd9, cd11 and cd13. I ovd on cd12 according to my opk so didn't even dtd on the right day!It was just doomed! Hope you have better luck. My dh just finds dtd a chore and its so hard to coax him, so much sodding effort. Wish we'd just get preg so we don't have to bother having sex ever again!

Im glad you see your mc as a positive. I think I would too in a way. Shows you CAN get preg. Very best of luck x

What I don't get about alcho druggie people getting preg.... They tell us 101 things to avoid, booze being one, to give us our best chance of getting and staying preg. How come these malnourished addicts get preg?! Then their babies just get taken away and put up for adoption where no one wants them coz they were born addicted to crack and might have problems later on. was watching that Wanted a family of my own the other night

Loving the positivity dildoos!! I agree with you, it's shows you're capable of it which is a good thing...

Have just discovered SMEP (hilarious name) but I think I'm still one step behind it with not knowing for sure when/if I ov...I'm poas daily and nothing yet...I think I ov'd around the 18th-22nd for past 2 months (can't count in cycle days as I apparently have no cycle atm!!) so will carry on into May doing that and see if I'm reading my bod right? Meanwhile - not dtd much this week and have been promised tonight...! It's tiring dtd every other night but at least if I do ov, there's some baby juice just waiting, whenever it happens!

Feeling much more positive today (will get to hold a one-month old today and sniff him a bit!) and have the most fabulous trip to London on Thurs and Fri staying 5*, personal stylist, helicopter, speedboat, spa...yes a competition win...couldn't have done that if i was upduffed could I?! Every cloud again....!

That's one heck of a plan! We did smep this month kinda. Had to miss ovulation day as DH was working 8am - 8pm that day and I was working 8pm - 8am!! Then we did a couple of days after but missed the last day cos we ended up having a row instead... lol. Pretty sure its not paid off in any case. Good luck with it all Dildoo

That sounds amazing Laura - enjoy!

RPopz - that annoys me so much when you have a row instead - I feel like it puts us back a whole month grrr but at the same time there's no way i'll dtd feeling angry!!

I know I can't wait :) looking forward to lots of dtd!!!

Wow Laura yes your right you couldn't do all that preggers so ENJOY!

Rpopz we argue too around the important time I think it's almost like its so important to be DTD we get stressed and we then just blow and have a ding dong then it blows over to the next time! Grrrrrrrrrr .

Totally agree about the adoption thing unsure if I could go down that route, hast off to those that can it all seems so very sad and unsure I am mentally strong enough to adopt !

They should be sterilised if they get pregnant once and don't live up to the challenge of motherhood! Not left to be able to keep breeding and having numerous children that are taken away just not fair on the children at all.

My OH hates doing it whilst feeling under pressure, as I guess all men do. We've dtd once when he felt beholden to and it was awful. Since then trying to keep 'the spark' there - generally by way of blowjobs "as a treat" whilst I'm on the rag. Seems to keep him interested! Also shows it's not all about babies and I still love him enough to lick his willy. Aww.

We are going to smep this month, tho thinking about it don't ov til like cd25 or something so maybe not start in earnest quite as early as day 8...! dildoos I've got the clearblue detection sticks, bought preseed and softcups (trap the sperm by te cervix?! Give it a go..) and eating like Gwenyth Paltrow. I'm doing a "daily fertility smoothie" and salad, as per the natural fertility diet thing that's circulating online. Taking herbs too, agnus castus, red raspberry and dong quai. A veritably parody of someone ttc.

Lauraqc - just logged onto prize finder! Want in on the action!

Adoption - think I agree with not being that keen, it's incredibly selfish as there're so many unwanted babies, but my craving is for the whole experience, to be pregnant and create someone from us. It's a bit like sperm donation, I'd want my OH's baby, not some random DNA.

Laura that sounds amazing!!

So over here the preggo symptoms continue but as always frer says no! My body just can't make up its mind what it wants to do... Way too many symptoms for them to be in my head! Oh well.

Icy that make me chuckle! "I still love him enough to lick his willy"!! Been there! Haha!

Haa! Icy that made me laugh too. Willy licking is my tool of choice for getting my own way re: babymaking!

Icy willy lickin is love this has made me chuckle x

I've been watching way too many adoption programs on tv lately! I don't think I could do it. I doubt we'd get through the panel at the start anyway. My past mental health probably would go against me too unfortunately, although I've been fine for at least 6 years. Plus the child you will adopt is not a tiny baby placed into your arms..... Sigh

Me and dh argue about not dtd enough too. We went from a few times a year to trying to do 3 times a week! Very difficult. Just wish I could get preg so we could go back to how it was.

Read in Zita West book that saliva basically destroys sperm. The enzymes that break down food work in the same way! No one ever said that before!

I wouldn't pay for Zita clinics (charlatan) but that one tip is probably worth the cost of kindle book. Licking willies definitely to be confined to rag week now!

Hi Spence

I'm glad you created this post as all what you have wrote I have been feeling as well and wanting to express but have not brave enough to create a post!

All but one of my close friends have children, a good friend is pregnant and another just had a baby, another friends three family members are all pregnant at the same time. All acquaintances i know have children, the people on my course all have children (im the only one without). I also feel Everyone seems to just have it all happen so easy however when it comes to me it seems so much more difficult to achieve.

But as many posters have pointed out on various posts on Mumsnet ,for all we know those people that seem to have it happen so easy may have actually been trying for sometime so i try and remember That. Doesn't stop me having my why me moments either although i'm always careful to outwardly never show it to those near and dear.

xxxx

Forgot to say no it doesn't sound selfish at all xx

Hi all! Welcome Impatient! Sounds like you're in the right place...frustrating isn't it?

I'm attempting ignorance this week - ignore all thoughts, concentrate on work/weekend/anything else in attempt to stay calm!

Held my friends 9 week old at weekend, amazed at how not-nervous I was with him! Just jiggled him about when he grumped and wriggled, was lovely! It WILL happen, just waiting my turn...

Forgot to say am sitting on train opposite not one but TWO preggo ladies (there's only 4 seats for gods sake!)...yep it's going to be that sort of a day...!

Bloody typical Laura! Haha!

Welcome impatient! Feel free to rant and rave... The rest of us do.

Scan tomorrow! Not sure whether to be pleased the allies rolling or be scared about results

What's your scan for sherbet?

I had a monitoring scan yesterday because I'm on my first cycle of Clomid. Scan showed a dominant follicle so looks like ovulation is imminent. (I don't ovulate much so this is good news).

Friends had a baby during the night and another one announced a pregnancy yesterday. We're now at 18 months TTC (TTC longer than the 'just had a baby couple' have even been fogegher so hopefully this is our month!

ToAvoid - great news you're on the Clomid (seems to be the proper start to good things!) and Sherbert hope your scan goes well today!

Still blocking all thoughts out today and will do for the rest of the week!

Icy - hope you find your winning streak with the PrizeFinder!!!!

Thanks for the welcome Lauraqc and sherbertlemon17 :)

Lauraqc yes it is very frustrating. it's nice to vent on here, i'm starting to feel better already :)

That's a good idea try to keep your mind busy and focus on other things i know that's really hard though. maybe create yourself a project to work on? Awww bless to you holding the baby. Its weird as seeing baby's doesn't affect me. I met up recently with my friend who's not long had a baby and had lovely cuddles it brightened my day :)

Its just when i see pregnant lady's or people announce their pregnancy I feel the familiar twinge in my heart and my stomach drop with disappointment. Its much easier with people i know though than a stranger as its easier to be genuinely happy for people i care about if that makes sense.

ahh to seeing the two pregnant lady's is always the way. i was on the bus today not a busy bus either and see a pregnant lady i had not to think about and repeated in my head like a mantra my turn will come lol.

Sherbertlemon17 Hope your scan went ok xx

HI Icy how are you? you were very helpful on another thread :)

How is everyone else doing ? xx

Cd3 today and I always feel better in myself when I'm on af. Not a care in the world. No stressing about dtd at the right time, whether or not I've ovd, symptom spotting on the 2ww..... Long weekend to look forward to and then only a 2 day week before I go on hols! And its my fertile week then and we can bd all we like with no thought of work for nearly a fortnight! Woohoo!

Victoria I know what you mean. I usually head straight for a cold alcoholic beverage. I'm dying of hay fever just now but don't want to take any antihistamines because of TTC whereas with AF I would probably just take them!!

What do antihistamines do to ttc?! I know nothing! I take them occasionally as I get hayfever (but not on workdays coz of the aircon).