Anyone else feeling like the world is against them?

[spence24]

OK, so this may sound like a selfish question and I should be happy for others, but in the last few weeks I've been getting the feeling that the universe just doesn't want me to be pregnant, but everyone else is just fiiiiine...

I found out yesterday that an ex-colleague, who is nearly 40, had never wanted children and was happy being child-free, as well as being told she was infertile, is four months pregnant by accident.

My best friend conceived both her children on her first cycle. My mum had me and my brother by accident. My cousin never wanted children. Her accidental son is nearly ten years old now.

We've been trying for four months now - and I know it is "only" four months, but I'm almost feeling bad for wasting the NHS's money on contraception for the last twelve years as it appears it may not have been needed.

Sorry, I needed to rant as it's bringing me down a bit, and none of my friends know that we're TTC so it's been building up.

Both of my dad's sisters are infertile and I've been told that if we haven't conceived by June I can get some tests done, even though I'm only 28. But they can't do it any sooner as I don't know the reasons behind their infertility as I don't have a relationship with that side of my family.

Is anyone else feeling like this, am I justified in having a "why me?" moment - or am I just overthinking it all?

[dildoos]

Congratulations impatiently! Wow of course it's ok to share! Fab news!

I am going to ask for opinions now......... Day 18 still no positive on ovulation monitor but had correct fluid if you know what I mean on day 14. What does this mean ?

[sherbertlemon17]

Impatient that is amazing news!! So glad you shared!! Congratulations huns.

Dildoos- afraid I haven't the foggiest... Sorry.

[impatientlywaiting14]

Thank-you Dildoos and Sherbertlemon

I am more sensitive now to people ttc and always thought if i get a bfp id be sensitive about it. I also didn't know if there were any members having a bad day on here today xx Dildoos what ovulation monitor is it your using?

[Lauraqc]

Impatient AMAZING NEWS! CONGRATULATIONS!! So pleased for you, yay!

I just took a test and got a bfn!! ha oh dear feel a failure!! But I've had no signs just extra 'moist' over last few days but ov test doesn't agree so thought i'd best check!!

[impatientlywaiting14]

HI lauraqc thank-you

Awwww im sorry to hear that was you due on soon? hugssssss xxxx

[Lauraqc]

Ah that's part of the issue Impatient - I haven't had af since January...! So no idea what cycle is doing - it's like aiming at the sky for a star!!

Do you feel any different?!

[dildoos]

Laura- sorry you had a bfn, are you using ovulation sticks?
Impatient- your so kind thinking of all is but everyone deserves a BFP happiness even you! Get shouting it when your ready

I have a clear blue monitor x

[Lauraqc]

Dildoos - yep am poas daily for last 15 odd days...just randomly started on them cos no af so can't even guess when I may ov...it's bloody tiring dtd every other night ha!!!

[dildoos]

I imagine so lol, we go for the every other night thing! Why have you not had a period since January? Have you ever taken Angus castus? This apparently can delay periods for weeks on end x

[impatientlywaiting14]

That sounds a nightmare lauraqc :( I hope you get answers soon could your docs not do a blood test for you to try and see whats going on?

I am in shock it hasn't sunk in yet not feeling different at the moment :)

awwww thanks Dildoos I know of course people would express happiness but i know on my bad days i couldn't help feel sad when hearing of others BFPs although i would never express that xx

I'm not sure how the cb monitor works. Its hard say about the ahem "fluid" but i get it around 6 days before any sign of a positive opk. its hard to measure against other people though as our cycles are all different i'm sorry if i have not been much help xx

[Lauraqc]

Nope never taken it! Came off pill in Aug and thought things were regulating a bit and then nothing! Have had blood test and all ok there but Dr not concerned till we've tried for a year so in a bit of a limbo right now til Aug..!

Impatient I'm so pleased for you! I got lots of joy when someone shares big news like that!

[impatientlywaiting14]

Lauraqc I hope you get an answer either way soon!! that would drive me mad no AF and no explanation why :( surely that cant just leave you in limbo like that until august?!

Thanks so much so sweet of you :) xx

[sherbertlemon17]

I know exactly how you feel Laura! No pill for me since the end of December and still no AF since January for me too!

I also got my ultra sound results back today too and apparently everything is normal and "no actions required". I don't know whether to be happy or not. It's good that I'm ok, but it's frustrating that I might have to wait until next January to get any help from the doctor.

And to add to that, I've heard that there are rumours circulating at work that I'm pregnant because I've had a few appointments recently... Now I've got to make another one! Grrr!

[impatientlywaiting14]

Glad to hear your scan results come back ok Sherbert x

I know what you mean your grateful there is nothing wrong to speak off, but it doesn't bring you any closer to an explanation

That's the last thing you need the rumors circulating at work and a focus on that, some people are such pains at times hugs xxxx

[Lauraqc]

Ah Sherbert glad to hear your scan was ok - weird to feel you'd almost rather there be something wrong so it can be 'fixed' isn't it?! Still no sign of ov but have been more...er...moist recently so not sure what the hell is going on...! Kinda trying to put it all out of my mind til July but it's so hard!

[icy121]

Hi all

Not allowed myself on here for a while to stop obsessing. 3rd day in a row of negative clearblue opk, was due to o on Monday but fuck knows now.

Good news on rpopz and impatiently waiting! So good it's happened, fingers crossed for you both!

I've spent £325 I don't have on a work suit to invoke Sod's law and set up a meeting/interview for a new job. Still terrified of the next two and a bit weeks and likely bfn.

Very blue, really. Ah well man up and crack on. No point wallowing!

X

[Lauraqc]

Hi Icy - I've watched from afar a bit this week too - mainly cos work has been manic!

Keep positive - I love the fact you're invoking sod's law by buying a new suit!!! We're off on holiday soon so hoping that does it for us!!!

Chin up!

[impatientlywaiting14]

HI Icy

Pleased to hear from you and hope you have been ok xx

Thanks so much :) Well only last week i had an in law of my o.h. talking to me about our finances as she doesn't think were in the correct position financially as i am yet to find a new job (after a year off due to redundancy and operations). She was concerned about me falling pregnant before i can secure maternity pay in a new job.

4 days later I find out im pregnant how's that for invoking the law of sod (for her not me) :)

Go for it icy, you deserve to be in a job that makes you happy. Are you setting up the meeting/interview for before you find out if you have a bfn or not?
xx

[icy121]

Meeting is tomorrow. Got another negative on ovulation stick his morning. Being held hostage by my body and I hate it. Long cycles and then crazy light periods just make me worry so much it's not 'right'. Not fair! Like being kicked in the guts every morning as a reminder of how shit my body is. Weekends are worse as there's time to wallow.

[Lauraqc]

Icy hope all goes well for the meeting...sorry to hear you're wallowing at the moment :( i have no cycles at all (no af since Jan) and also in nomansland...we can wallow together! I am also poas daily and...well...nothing. Grrr. The only thing getting me thru is that I'm going on hols at end of May for a week and when I get back I'm going to let rip at the Dr and force some action! Remind me how long you've been ttc..?

[impatientlywaiting14]

Good luck for your meeting Tommorow Icy

That sounds like a nightmare, i'm sorry your having such a tough time of it :(. I really hope the meeting pays off and once your in a new job that you feel more contented in, it will help take your mind off things. Being in a job you hate only makes you focus on your issues more, been there.
hugssss xxxx

[impatientlywaiting14]

Sorry to hear you having a tough time too laura. Good on you your doctor needs a boot up the backside lol xx are you going anywhere nice for your hols? :)

[icy121]

laura what sort of country do we live in where no period since JANUARY is something that doctors don't do anything about?! It beggars fucking belief. The collective knowledge of the female endocrine system seems to be to be absolutely pitiful. We probably know more about the surface of fucking Mars than our hormones. I'm angry now, on yours and all of our behalf! That is seriously shitty, kudos for keeping your chin up. I'd be climbing the walls.

I feel bad now, as compared to your situation I'm being a complete baby. I have pretty long cycles, yes, but at least I have cycles to speak of.

Can off the pill last November, been at it since.

Friends visited with their baby yesterday. She told me how she's come off the pill a year before trying, then when they did try it happened first go. Explained to me how she got to understand her cycle, "you have a fertile window, I had an app that told me when it was" etc - I played completely dumb. I'd rather she had a nice time telling me "how to" rather than listen to me wang on.

Sorry you're having such an awful time. Have you googled what you want to get from the gp? In my experience, taking an American approach (ie go in and tell then what you want) tends to yield more results. Failing that, do you have health insurance through work? My bupa policy doesn't cover fertility treatments, but I do think there's scope to go and get my dodgy periods investigated, having read the wording carefully?

Best wishes
X

[Lauraqc]

Thanks all :) just got back from cinema seeing Bad Neighbours - laughed our arses off the whole way thru....highly recommended!!

Well I came off pill in Aug 2013, then first proper af Oct and then one in Dec but that lasted a whole month....went to Dr in Dec and said this is weird and I got brushed off. I was told 'your body is getting back to normal' and so left it to mid-March to go again. Had a blood test and all results normal (and got less brushed-off). Got to go back in about 4 weeks for another if still no af. I also have acupuncture every 3-4 weeks (did before anyway) and even he can't bring on af!! I'm not climbing the walls (yet) but it'd be nice to know where I stood!! I agree with you that I need to take a stronger more American stance with the Dr - by day I'm a professional woman and I would NEVER take someone just brushing me off but I seem to just accept it when a Dr is telling me...?!?!?

I won a holiday to Barbados which I think should take my mind off it all!! I'm working on the reverse psychology that since I've got stuff planned it may just happen and surprise us!!

I think when we get to a year (Aug) and hear about referral times etc I may just have to throw money at it! I don't get any private healthcare but do have the one where you can recoup money from stuff I pay for myself.

What sort of investigations have you had? x

[spence24]

Hi ladies!

So glad to see this thread still going strong - I know I'm not on here much but the past few weeks have been crazy. Self employed and I've been moving house, no time for anything else!

Update on my situation. Got to CD36 last month, took a test and got a faint BFP. OH and I were in a bit of shock, weren't expecting it as we thought we'd missed the boat that month but still a bit giddy!

That was Saturday morning. We went out for the day with his daughter so couldn't talk about it, but when we got home that evening AF had arrived. Much amount of confusion and disappointment as we concluded it was a chemical pregnancy and just not taken.

So we're into month 5. OH was incredibly lying disappointed, more than me, and is now on a mental baby-making overhaul in our diets and lifestyle to make sure the next BFP sticks. Just coming in to fertile week now, so I guess only time will tell!