Anyone else feeling like the world is against them?

[spence24]

OK, so this may sound like a selfish question and I should be happy for others, but in the last few weeks I've been getting the feeling that the universe just doesn't want me to be pregnant, but everyone else is just fiiiiine...

I found out yesterday that an ex-colleague, who is nearly 40, had never wanted children and was happy being child-free, as well as being told she was infertile, is four months pregnant by accident.

My best friend conceived both her children on her first cycle. My mum had me and my brother by accident. My cousin never wanted children. Her accidental son is nearly ten years old now.

We've been trying for four months now - and I know it is "only" four months, but I'm almost feeling bad for wasting the NHS's money on contraception for the last twelve years as it appears it may not have been needed.

Sorry, I needed to rant as it's bringing me down a bit, and none of my friends know that we're TTC so it's been building up.

Both of my dad's sisters are infertile and I've been told that if we haven't conceived by June I can get some tests done, even though I'm only 28. But they can't do it any sooner as I don't know the reasons behind their infertility as I don't have a relationship with that side of my family.

Is anyone else feeling like this, am I justified in having a "why me?" moment - or am I just overthinking it all?

Can I sit in here with you guys and sulk too? On 7th cycle ttc #1 and definitely feeling like the world is against me right now!

Hell yeah RPopz! I'm feeling quite chilled at the moment but everyone's allowed to have their rant and sulk - it's the right place to come to!!

Sherbertlemon & icy - look at the PrizeFinder.com for inspiration ;) i guarantee that a win gives you a brill adrenaline rush and keeps the low mood at bay!

I can't even count my cycles (even that was a new thing to me until I got on here..!) as I've only had af twice since last August...i'm now poas daily having bulk-bought them from Amazon!!

I right with you RPopz. In my 7th cycle and getting no results! I went to the docs today any she is sending me to have my blood tested to make sure I am ovulating. She also said to have my DH sperm count tested too. Fingers crossed everything goes well. I won't know anything until mid to end May if I start my next cycle. (AF due this weekend) fingers and toes crossed she doesn't and I'm still in with a chance. I wish you all the best. Xx

Icy121 I'd like to get know this recipe. Sounds good. I like playing around with different flavours etc. I now won't eat Brussels sprouts boiled in the traditional way. I like mine shredded, sautéed with onions and a touch of garlic in oil and butter nicely seasoned with chestnuts thrown in too when in season! Best thing about it, no flatulence as it's not overlooked. Nice and gently fried. Xx

Wow Mims - sounds like you've got a great GP who's on board already!

That is good Mims, how did you get to be tested so early? I'm having day 21 and day 2 bloods done but for anxiety / "mental health" reasons rather than reproductive. I'm lucky GP was quite supportive with that tbh. Not sure they'll be willing to do anything else for a while though.

Well here is my rant! I hardly drink, never smoked, never done drugs, eat my 5 a day, given up caffeine and sugar (aka my favourite things!!), never even taken the bloody pill so as not to mess up my hormones! And here we are, 7 months in. I know its not a long time really... just... I kinda assumed that it would've happened by now. My best friend took 10 months to conceive but - and she'd be the first to admit - her diet is pretty appauling and her DH smokes and drinks like a fish. I remember thinking last year "it'll never take us that long, surely!"

Blah.

RPopz - yep very similar - apart from the fact that i'm a bit chubby! Feel like i look after myself ok (should exercise a bit more i suppose) and so does hubby...seems to be no rhyme or reason about it all and i hate stuff i can't control...!

Thanks Lauraqc and RPopz. I started with family planning as you do, and the nurse said gather at least 6 months worth of data which I have.
Told my doctor this. Plus I'm borderline turning 35 in the next 2 months. I must admit I actually do like my doctors. Not that I go regularly or anything but each experience has been a good one.

I don't drink, smoke etc either and lead a good healthy lifestyle, DH also quit drinking and smoking, only downside is his coffee intake but has been reducing this.

Any of you live or based in Altrincham, Cheshire?

Ah that explains it Mims, think Drs are more proactive when you hit the 35 mark!

Ah no Mims I'm in Bedfordshire- miles away! What a shame!

I know it's been a while since i started this thread - I've had a really busy week so only just been able to get back on to check it! I do feel a lot better knowing I'm not the only one feeling this way! My periods still aren't regular since having my IUD removed - I'm currently on Day 36 with a negative pregnancy test three days ago. The last time I was off contraception was ten years ago and I had a 32 day cycle, so ever since we've been TTC it's been really uncertain!

I've only told my best friend that we're TTC, she also knows about my family history though and has been so great not to push or ask me a lot about how it's going. I feel like I want to tell my mum as she might have more information that she's just never told me before, but I also don't want her to get her hopes up, and start making me feel more pressured, or feel like I've failed her in some way! I'm a terrible secret-keeper too, so this year so far has been a lot of "mmm...." and changes of subject when the babies and family conversation starts!

Like Lauraqc also feeling chilled atm. I think it's cause I'm out of the hormonal mania that descends around the time of period. Thank god. Trying to be more zen. Hardly googling fertility acupuncture or anything (Altho I confess to giving myself a "fertility massage last night. Jesus.)

Now all anger is, much more healthily, directed towards my job - I hate it! There are a few people there who are out and out c*nts. The only reason I'm not leaving is because of ttc. Additionally, I'm used to working in a high pressured environment, this place is very "public sector". Whilst I hate that at the moment I know that post baby I'll be all over a 3 day a week gig - and a more productive and driven place won't allow that. It genuinely frightens me that if it takes years to conceive then I'll be putting my life on hold for so long; in 18 months I could get a new job, establish myself enough to justify a 3 day week. But I can't risk leaving because if it happens, say, within a month of moving I'm screwed. Also won't qualify for whatever mat benefit they have (my place is statutory, but get to keep car allowance).

Work shmerk. Weekend now thank FUCK. Altho my DPs 2 kids are over, they are 6&8, so not exactly relaxing. At least they're not little & reminders of my own failure this far!

Spence - I think I took 50 days or so from stopping yasmin pill (evil) to getting first true bleed. Synthetic hormones are shit.

Tip to feel happier (corny but works): look at yourself in mirror & smile & smile & smile. It buoys me up. Don't do this if you've been crying though, it's too pathetic for words.

I'm a fellow public sector worker Icy and know what you mean! I do get a very good mat allowance and I'm not even going to look until after we've completed our family - it's just not worth the risk...and my job will be great to go back to 4 days per week. Only downside is that i can never work from home which is a shame!

Very glad it's the weekend, whoop!!!

Hi girls, just had a lot to catch up on!

Just started bleeding after being convinced I was preg this month. Gutted. Onto cycle sodding 18 now. Feel like a total failure. Cross with myself for letting myself get convinced, and I'm even still thinking oh maybe the bleeding is not real! Hahaha! Joke! And its Saturday so I can't even take my mind off it with work! I was going to throw myself into housework but kinda just sitting around feeling sorry for myself.

Lets swap some happy stories instead. I'm going on holiday in 2 weeks to sunny Dorset. Hired a static caravan, just me and hubby. Its going to be AMAZING AND FUN!

DP's two kids arrived. One unwell. He took the well one out to run errands for FIFTEEN MINUTES. Ill one chucked up all over her bed in that teeny tiny timeframe. Cleaning up vomit on a massive hangover is a new low (yeah fell off the wine free wagon. Figure since it's still something like 3 weeks til ov it'll be fine...)

Maybe it's karma getting me: you curse and wail about not having a baby, well here's a taste of proper parenthood for you.

Etc.

Roll on Monday?!

Yep much as I can't wait to have children it looks bloody hard and am enjoying the freedom whilst we can...I don't think our sausage dog knows what'll hit him when there's another thing vying for our attention too!!!

Hi ladies,
Can I get in on the action please.
I just feel like my body is playing tricks on me now.
As soon as we started TTC a few months ago my cycle randomly extended from 28 days (same story for best part of 20 years) to 29 for a bit, and now a regular 30, with worst skin, hair & mood swings in the world. (Mood is probably Partially because of AF & partially because I'm just peed off that it's not happened.)
It's driving me nuts every month wondering "will this be the one". I have full admiration to every woman who's been TTC for months & years.

Being a woman sucks sometimes. I cannot even begin to explain things to my hubby!

Victoria401 I hear that! What we go through as women!
I went out to a family do last night! Not been out in so long but I thoroughly enjoyed myself and didn't not think about baby making!

Well everyone, as predicted AF is making herself known today. I already knew this therefore don't feel as disappointed as last month! One thing I can look forward to my blood tests in 20 days! This will check if i am ovulating or not!

Icy121 got you message. Will experiment with that! Watch this space!

I'm feeling a bit irrational tonight - having a 'why isn't it happening for us' moment...argh. I've heard perfectly sensible stats about 90% odd getting upduffed within 12 months yet I really didn't think it would take this long for us - naivety I suppose.

Off to visit a friend with her new baby tomorrow. Awesome.

Ah Mims sorry to hear af arrived...

I feel ya Laura. I've reached 18months this cycle and the odds were 96.4% or something. Why am I in that tiny % not upduffed?!

Oh yeah and then its like 98% in 24 months. I really don't want to be in that tiny 2%!

Stats are crazy aren't they. You think... that teeny percentage... it won't ever be me!

Just been out for a massive curry. with DH and the in laws. I had wine.... ACTUAL WINE

Fuck it all.

It's a conspiracy Victoria - I'm sure of it! It really shouldn't be this bloody difficult!!

Hahaha RPopz! I haven't had wine tonight but have eaten a massive amount of chocolate and actually food generally today...cultivating a very good life-like preggo looking belly!