The Berries: Projecting the sausage signal and chasing rainbows whilst chanting FUFC in the hunt for that elusive BFP (thread 19)

[happylass]

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 12+months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot and def no mention of baby dust or baby dancing UGH !!! Ooooh aren’t we strict!

4 month wait for a table....where did you go?

A local restaurant HB. Only seats 8-10 people and Michelin starred so very popular!

4 months, wow! Must have been amazing then. Easter eggs still growing, scan on Monday and hopefully being collected on Wednesday.

Simon Rogan, funky? Mmm, if so, I'm with you!

Simon Rogan??

Easter Monday scan for lady. What's happening for who next in the ivf process?

I've just got in bed with ic on bedside table ready for fmu testing. Just felt a bit of 'stuff' down below, popped to the loo and as per usual the spotting is here. No 2014 baby for me now then. Onto 2015. If that doesn't have a baby in store then fuck this shit I say and I'm going to live a self indulgent life of traveling all over and eating in restaurants that have a 4 month wait for a table every damn day. I'll start a super fitness regime and pity my friends post pregnancy bellies and spaniels ears, whilst I will have perfect abs of steel and pert boobies.

hb re the headaches drink lots of water. All the drugs are quite dehydrating so get your pint glass filled up. If it gets too much take a paracetamol, that's what I've done. I'm not sure whether I've had hot flushes or not. I was really hot in bed last night but think that's the quilt, my pj's and of course my raw, sexual magnetism

funky meal out sounds fab. lady wow with the Easter eggs!
Happy Easter everyone!

Love it funky sign me up for the self indulgent lifestyle and save me a seat at the 4 mth wait restaurant,I'll start with pate, mine's a bloody steak with side order of shellfish, more than 2 tins of tuna and a great big bottle of your finest Sauvignon blanc, if if we're really being self indulgent I'll have a prosecco to start, for desert, I'll have something with egg whites in it, followed by a shed load of unpasteurised cheese mmm Brie, and then once dinner has gone down we'll go for a jacuzzi and then maybe some love making, not with each other but with respective dh's. Day after we'll piss off to say... The Caribbean, flying business class - to show off the Abs of steel, lack of stretch marks and cracking pert boobies, whilst we're there we will indulge in diving, zip lining and maybe even some sort of adrenaline pursuit, or in my case, extreme cocktail drinking. Think I've got most bases covered

bushy love it! I'm there!

lady good luck with the scan and hoping for a bumper Easter egg harvest!

hb glad to hear you are feeling better.

Sorry to everyone with af in the building. At least consolation can be found in wine, or in my case some lovely gluten free beer which I tried for the first time last night.

funky I also felt quite sad to realise that any chance of a 2014 baby has passed. Was writing a card to my best mate for her birthday next week, we started trying at the same time and she has a baby. She's turning 34 as a mum and I'll be lucky to be pregnant by my birthday...And just to really rub it in I had yet another dream about someone else being pregnant and me being sad about it. I keep having these blasted dreams, with my overactive imagination making all sorts of random people pregnant!

In my attempt to say fuck you ttc, I applied for a much less baby friendly job, and I've been invited to interview. If I were to get it, then we may have to put ttc on hold until I qualified for their maternity benefits. Another dilemma.

Anyway, enough whinging from me happy Easter everyone!

Sorry AF got you Funky but loving the potential lifestyle choices as suggested by you and Bushy.

Go for the job I say Tiger, 34 is still young in my book to possibly delay TTC for 6 months (?) if needed.

Excellent progress Lady on the Easter eggs. Keep up the good work . Keeping everyone crossed (apart from my legs of course!)

Any progress with the basting RP?

Oh, funky, thought you meant your four moth wait was for That chef Simon Rogan's restaurant - it also seats only 10 ppl max and has a looooong waiting list.

bushy count me in. I'll bring the oysters and champagne.

tiger definitely give that job interview all you've got and deal with the maternity thing later - maternity rights usually kick in after 12 months continuous employment, don't they? So in theory, you'd probably only need to hold off for three months

I am slightly (very) hungover this morning. And all I had was two glasses of fizz and a large glass of red. I'm going soft in my old age. Also, no sign of the witch yet. Twitching and the odd pang, but nowt else.

Hadn't even realised that we'd reached the cutoff for a 2014 baby already funky and tiger - how depressing. I'm generally avoiding any sort of counting re ttc these days - hyper aware that my would-have-been due date is hurtling towards me but wanting to avoid getting too emotional about things I can't control. I know that sounds cold but I guess it's my way of holding it together after what happened in November.

Happy Easter all! Chocs-ahoy!

I too hadn't realised a 2014 baby was off the cards. feather I am totally with you on the not counting things; when we first started out all bright eyed and bushy tailed on this ttc 'journey', I remember I made a list of all the possible ov dates and the resulting due dates. I remember almost not trying one mth because I didn't want a Christmas baby. Tbh now I'd take any time, it's funny how we change. I think you start off thinking it's your right to have a baby and to control when etc and now I don't think it's a right, more of a privilege. I was listening to Steve wright's Sunday bleurgh songs this morning and the wedding slot was on, a groom to be had his very sweet but mushy announcement read out about how much he loved his bride to be and how he was looking forward to their family together and I found myself thinking it's not a right you know and you'll be lucky- see it's the cynicism in me coming out!

I also totally know what you mean about going soft with age and drinking. I have turned into a right lightweight! Get lots of water into you and def some chocolate!

Glad everyone is up for the anti ttc experience! We'll need a big table funky and lots of room in the business section of the plane!

tiger know exactly what you mean re those pg announcement dreams! I had those recently and real life announcements to deal with! maybe my sub conscious knew something was up and was trying to prepare me. Also go for the job, let's grab the bull by the horns and stop ttc dictating everything to us. It's a tricky one with the maternity benefits as it seems a shame to stop ttc as us ladies just don't know how long it'll take for us, you mightn't need to stop ttcing but then if you fell pg and were just shy of the benefits you'd be a bit annoyed. Do you have any savings put by that you could dip into? feather makes a good point about you might only need to hold off for three mths rather than a year.

rp has gone very quiet! she's brandishing a turkey baster somewhere wearing bunny ears!

Funky and Bushy

Oops!! Fat fingers. Anyway Funky and Bushy count me in for the "fuck this" lifestyle!! Sounds amazing. Agreed about being gutted missing a 2014 baby, it's so frustrating.

AF arrived for me yesterday morn 11dpo, but has turned into spotting. It chops & changes. Dh was pep-talking me this morning saying how I managed anything I put my mind to then I stroppily pointed out I had no control over this.

Was at a wedding yesterday with lots of bumps and now looking after 2yr old nephew. Hmm.

Lady good luck for your scan tomorrow, hope those Easter eggs are coming along nicely.

Feather hope you are ok, I can't imagine how much worrying you will be doing, and understandably so.

tiger go for the job, why not and if you do get pg in a tempting fate way, brilliant! We always find ways to manage when we need to. Google maternity leave - enhanced depends entirely on the company and smp you need to know dates to work it out. You get just over £600 a month smp.

Hope everyone is ok, sorry I've not been able to catch up properly, we are away and I have limited wifi etc.

Hi everyone! I think I'm driving the "fuck this shit" wagon. I'm making peace with the fact that it's not going to work naturally for me, and since I'm not going to go down the medical intervention route, then...well, end of the road I guess? Never thought I'd find myself here but there you go.

(My family have just triggered a huge stress surge that I'm sure has fucked up my progesterone levels and made my PMS even worse than usual)

If I never have children I'm buying a swim spa (one of the ones with a jacuzzi at one end and a swimming-on-the-spot thing at the other end) and going on a maldives-type holiday every year.

Because, when's your GP appointment to discuss dildocam etc? Is medical intervention definitely off the cards?

I'm in for the 'fuck this' life too. I've had enough of everything being dominated by ttc. I understand feeling hopeless sometimes, because. My hope seems to go up and down depending on where I am in my cycle. Have you had any tests done, or ruled those out too? Hope things are okay with your family btw.

Hell yes - count me in on the Fuck This shenanigans! I'd like to add a day doing the most terrifying roller coasters to the 'screw you ttc' activities!

Well, after a weekend of total mindfuck thanks to absent witch, I caved this eve and POAS. Of course it was a BFFN. As I am now 17DPO I can only assume the crappy CBFM got my ov date totally wrong and I either ovulated later or, gulp, not at all.
So I guess I'm still not out until the hag lands, but I've been feeling period-y for daaaays now. FFS! I could have been enjoying my naice wine without worrying about being up for work in the morning. Bah!!!

Parsley - it's not over till the witch arrives. Mine is brewing and I suspect an overnight visit. Grr.

Well, I think it's safe to say that Easter 2014 could be henceforth known and remembered as the 'Great Berrie Revolt'. We're all having a turn and sounds like many are bloody fed up - myself included. and to all.

Ps. Just watched the Secret Life Of Walter Mitty - bought it off iTunes and well worth the £8 if anyone is looking for a film to watch some time.

Lady is it scan day today? Hope all ok if so.

Am liking the revolt Berries and Bushy you made me smile; I'm glad I'm not only one in full pj's, socks and fleecy top in bed - very sexy

Do you temp parsley? Opks don't work very well for me (high fsh) so I've started temping to double check. Evening wee isn't great either so try fmu?

Good luck with the scan lady!!

I am hungover today!! Take that ttc!!!

Scan today showed a big improvement from Friday but the biggest is only 15mm (they like at least 18mm) so more injections and scan again on Wednesday with egg collection scheduled now for Friday. Had to get more drugs, needles and a third sharps bin! Oestradiol level good and uterine lining still getting thicker (13mm today).

Lady, I've got the results review on Friday so I will think of you that day!

I'm still revolting, pitchfork in hand and throwing OPKs and preg tests out of the window. It's all food, wine and chocolate for me at the moment, with AF scheduled to mame an appearance sometime this week.

PS well done winohh, that's the spirit. BERRIES REVOLT!

Bluergh, she's here. Stuck indoors on a lovely sunny day with cramps from hell.
Out of boredom, I've looked back through my blood tests last year. My fsh/lh are normal but according to the guidance figures on the test results, my oestradiol levels are post-menopausal! (112pmol).
According to good old Dr Google this can be a symptom of PCOS? My periods are pretty regular so that seems odd, but I do have bad skin which only ever responded to birth control as a treatment. Why hasn't this been picked up or discussed with me by either GP or FC? I remember GP saying my day 21 was the lower end of normal last year.
Argh, I feel like an idiot for not actually reading these things myself. What do I do?

Hullo berries, I've not been around for a couple of weeks. Life has been bloody hectic with starting a new job, wedding planning etc. I'm still alive though (and still not upduffed).

I had a bit of a crappy weekend with an old friend announcing her pregnancy totally out of the blue at an overnight get-together I was hosting for a group of girlfriends. I'm totally thrilled to bits for her, she's been trying for some time. But I have to admit it was hard not to burst into tears especially since she waited until we'd had lots of to tell us. I think she gt a bit of a 'vibe' from me and now I feel a bit guilty. I don't think I'm as okay with this long-term ttc and mc stuff as I thought I was.

Anyway, I'm trying to be more positive and I've decided to start getting fit again. I've been putting it off for ages using getting pregnant as an excuse. So I'm booked in with a PT tomorrow - eek!

I'll catch up with the rest of the thread now and post replies to everyone later. It's good to be back though. for the Berries