TTC After MC: The home of hopeful nipples, ovulation eyes and the most determined Mummawannabees around. Chin up, tits out!

[Parsley2506]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

That's true sebs - it's been 19 months since I started TTC now, with 16 months between BFPs. And, as it seems likely this isn't another ectopic, there's no reason for that (minus one tube of course, but medical opinion is split as to how much that affects things). On the other hand, stress does affect conception, so there is an argument for taking it easy and just seeing what happens. However you're happiest, that's the important thing.

My DH does exactly that english - when we finally did talk about it he says it's because he feels like I'm always negative about it and he's trying to be positive, and that he gets tired feeling like he has to be positive for both of us. Maybe yours is the same?

I'm sorry I snuck a BFP in last week, but stupidly I dared to dream and hope it would be okay and surely I wouldn't have a 2nd MC, but it wasn't to be. Bleeding and cramping began this morning. Not really sure what to do, doctors are closed so won't get a referral to EPU, don't really know where to turn x

Jones I'm so sorry you're going through this. Given that your Dr is closed I would be inclined to call your local EPU and explain this and they should be able to advise even if they're one of the units that don't allow self-referral. Keeping everything crossed for you. Big hugs coming your way.

So so sorry jones as penguin said I'd contact your epu direct or if you have in luck and are in pain then head to a&e x

I'm so sorry jones, I hope you've got someone there to support you. [hugs]

Sebs I know how you're feeling, it's another BFN for me this morning so I'm out as AF is due tomorrow. Looks like all the cramping over the last week was just my body being extra cruel again and adding insult to injury... I'm so fed up with it all, it'll be a year for me too in July which I know is not that long, but I'm not sure how long I can carry on like this. I am such a control freak I think the constant uncertainty might just push me over edge, especially since I have a history of panic attacks and depression.

Will have a nice big glass of or three this evening and maybe tomorrow will look a bit better.

Jones hope you have someone in RL to look after you. Uch (Euston, London) have a walk in EPU which is probably doing a weekend service (so attend via a&e) if you can get there. Good luck.
Metal sorry for the bfn. for you this weekend.
Sebs, TTC is so pressured which probably in itself inhibits conception. Maybe take some time off and reevaluate? When we took a month off to go and see Prof Quenby I really noticed the relief of not suffering the 2ww that month. And going to that clinic and getting a plan has made such a huge difference to my mental state. Take time out, relax, enjoy spending time with your family. Its a personal thing but maybe keeping your in laws in the loop will at least stop the stupid questions... I'm 'out and proud' with people, and I find it much easier that way. Maybe consider going to see prof Q in a few months. They really are the cutting edge of research and well worth it in my eyes. Take care and be kind to yourself.
Enjoy the long weekend ladies.

metal sorry about the bfn. You have a good plan though to get over it. Enjoy your weekend with a glass of tipple.

jones only know too well what you may be going through. Have had 2mcs in a row and never thought it would happen to me. St George in tooting also had EPU on Saturdays am. So you can try there if local to you.

sebs hope you are feeling better. I have gone through similar periods of thinking we will never have no.2 but the success stories of some ladies here keeps me going. I echo what others say about relaxing. I fell pg the month I was getting my investigations done as I had a plan and knew things were going somewhere. For me I have decided to throw everything at trying to have a second child. I am 13 months now TTC so over the 1 year hump. Getting all imaginable tests done from our holiday(s) kitty, as I really want to give it my best shot and get any treatment I may need.

Taking a break may help you relax and hopefully you can restart in zest or better yet get upduffed during that time.

Wishing everyone a lovely Easter. We are setting off on our holiday, hope traffic doesn't turn out to be too horrible !

Thanks girls. I'm ok today. AF due but no sign of her yet. Am now thinking if she is late that's a change in my LP which is unusual. I know when I ovulated as I had the opk and FF confirm it using bbt. I guess a longer LP is a good thing though. Fuck knows at this stage.

Metal I am so so sorry for your bfn . Remember you're not out till AF arrives but I understand the sad feeling very well.

Jones I am so sorry darling

We are taking my son out today to a local farm and soft play. Both OH and I still have this stomach virus. Mine has improved but I still have this low level stomach ache and nausea. It's weird as neither of us have had sickness and diarrhoea and yet we both feel slightly sick and have stomach aches. Has anyone else had it? I don't know if it's viral or food poisoning of something.

Sorry that there are some of you feeling low at the moment! Hope you're feeling a bit better today.

I had friends/old work colleagues round last night and told them about my MC there was 7 of us and 3 had had one or more MCs they are all 12/15 yrs older than me but each one of them had been trying for different lengths of time to have children over the yrs but it gave me hope that all of them now had 2 or more chn each they all had a story to tell but had all had the chn they wanted and I just thought it gave me hope that it will turn out how I'd like it just may take time I hope it gives some of you some hope today x

Hope you all enjoy your Easter I'm going to eat lots surround myself with family & friends and enjoy myself!

Lots of us reaching the 1 year club. This is my last cycle before i reach that horrible milestone.
Hope we have a turn of luck here and all suddenly produce big fat sticky beans! BFS(sticky)P all round please Easter bunny, sod the chocolate eggs!

Sorry you're back here Jones, sending you a massive hug. I can't offer any further advice other than try to get to an epu near you.

Seasides fingers firmly crossed for you. I had an early scan with my DD at 5 weeks which showed an empty sac.

Welcome GandT and Florence hope you have short and happy stays here, sorry for your losses. Jones hope you are ok

Thanks for the story LittleMiss I think it is right to be hopeful, I am also reaching 1 year since trying for #2 and it seems like absolutely ages, but actually it really isn't that long is it.

Nothing much happening here, just waiting for the BFN (did a FRER a couple of days ago and just got a v faint line, so hopefully not too long now).

Happy Easter to everyone

Hi all. Been lurking for a bit as I had all sorts of problems resetting my password then DD has had chicken pox which has kept me occupied!

Brilliant news penguin thanks for letting us know. It is lovely to heard good news.
seasides sorry your scan didn't give you the reassurance you needed. It is still early so fingers crossed.
Sorry you are going through it sebs Apologies if you have already said but why won't you GP do any tests?
Welcome to any newbies. It is a crap road that brings us all here but we try and make the best of it.

Was my edd during the week and it wasn't as awful as I anticipated. I will be joining the year TTC club in June too. I have had my day 1 and 21 test done in preparation for referral to fertility clinic. All satisfactory (whatever that means) so far. DH has done his SA but hasn't got results yet (because I forgot to nag him to phone for then. He is hopeless) CD21 and I have just had a positive OPK. Well at least I think it was positive. Both lines were the same darkness but neither were particularly dark?!!?!? I will try another one llater see what that does.

Busy weekend for me. I am out for food/drinks tomorrow for a friends birthday. SILs on Sunday for lunch then dropping DD at DM for a sleepover while DH and I gave a night away for our wedding anniversary. DH is out at the moment so I am going to phone the hotel and book the turndown service complete with chocolates, rose petals and champers.

Jones, are you ok? So sorry, hope you got some help today. What a sad time.

AHH, thank you-reassuring to hear you had the same thing. Not getting my hopes up, but would just be the most wonderful thing to get good news on Thurs.

Have a lovely night holly! Sounds so romantic. Glad you're getting your tests done, hope you DD isn't feeling too ropey.

Seasides - I went to an early scan with a friend of mine and she had an empty sac at 8 weeks and then the following week a strong heartbeat.

Well I made it through one baby shower and the endless when are you having another one questions. Two more to go! Trying to be positive this month. Am eating as healthy as I can as I find that makes a huge difference to my mood. My DH is away working this weekend so it's a quiet Easter for us. Hope everyone has a lovely weekend

Well how's this for my bad luck continuing?! Have spent all month stressing about no peak on the cbfm. Finally, today after no warning what so ever I get a peak....and my parents are staying until Monday!! Sod's law!

Hope everyone is feeling a bit brighter today :) hugs for those who need them xxx

so bloody frustrated!! On cd16 and still getting lows on my cbfm! I'm cursed!! Beginning to wonder if i have pcos, but don't have any of the typical symptoms excepts these now irregular periods! 1 month til i'm home and can badger the dr!!

Carly I do hope you are still going to get plenty of TITH. How fantastic you got your peak!!! I have the sort of relationship with my Mum where I would just be blunt and say I was fertile and needed to DTD, she'd bugger off shopping for a bit.

English - fuck. I can feel your frustration in your post. I don't know what to say. Are you temping as well just incase the cbfm is missing your peak? How long are your cycles usually?

Girls your thoughts please. So I am moving towards IVF in my thinking. I am close to a very good clinic with fantastic live birth stats, however even though I have the money for a couple of rounds, that really would wipe out a big chunk of my savings. I am also aware that I could still be pretty fertile even though I shall be 40 in February. Would any of you choose to have the fertility testing done first where they measure your egg reserve? It makes sense to me to see how fertile I am before I start investigating IVF, on the other hand I'm worried that if the result is low I will be devastated

Sebs, I totally get how ivf seems like a silver bullet but may I suggest you try prof Quenby's clinic first? They will analyse the lining of your uterus and put an appropriate plan in place. I asked her about getting my egg reserve tested and she said that she strongly advised against that test on the grounds that it causes so much psychological damage that its counterproductive. She says she wishes no one would ever get it done and she's never seen a patient made happier by knowing the results. I'm on my phone but I'll try to post a link to her clinic later, but if you Google her clinic (Coventry) or Quenby or her colleague Jan Brosens there are some interesting articles, especially one by Brosens about their research. Hope this helps you to decide what to do.

Before my mc my cycles were 29/30 days. Ovulating cd16-18 ish. Since I've not had a peak on any clear blue gadget. And the lows the this cycles really are an all time low!
Had a positive OPK last cycle but temps didn't correspond with ovulation. I've kind of give up... And got my head round that this is going to need some kind of medical intervention. But will continue temping and print all my ff charts and take them with as ammunition when. I finally see a gp back home! Ho hum!

Will your gp not carry out any initial tests for you Sebs, just to give you an idea before you head down the ivf route?

AF arrived this morning, bang on time after a textbook 14-day LP. I guess I should be grateful for that. Feeling a bit more positive today, I think yesterday's meltdown was partly due to pre-AF hormone crash.

So, this cycle I promised myself I will not symptom spot (as my body is clearly unreliable) and will not poas before AF is late. Someone please remind me of this in a month's time when I'm climbing the walls again...

Sorry your cylces are still messed up English. I've heard going on the pill for a few months is sometimes recommended to regulate things after mc, maybe that would be an option? But hopefully things will just sort themselves out soon.

Carly can you not just have some sneaky quiet TITH? DH and I did it once when his parents where staying and it was actually quite exciting, felt like being naughty teenagers again!

Happy Easter everyone!

Af arrived a day late this month. I'm having very mixed feelings about starting ttc again. With most of me wanting to do it, and another part of me totally against it, and all the stressed out messed upness that will follow. Not just in the ttc, but also in the 12 week madness that is just unavoidable if I am lucky enough to get pregnant.

Spoke to DH about it last night and was stunned that he is scared I will say no more DCs and that he really wants to just get on with it. It was the most forthright he has been about any of this since I lost the baby.

Feeling now like I haven't touched base with him enough and been obsessing in my own head far too much. Was trying to keep it in my head so I didn't do his head in! Argghhhh!!

See its starting already!

We have planned to have a bash on the living room floor this evening and tomoz lol! My mum is the same sebs, just like get on with it but feel to awkward with my dad here lol!

English don't worry I went straight from low to peak today on cd25 x

I have no experience of cbfm english but with OPKs I had nothing until a really really faint line on cd 20 am, slightly darker pm then a positive cd21 and my cycle is usually 30-32 days so there is still time.

We had my mum staying earlier in the week looking after DD and had some tith. It felt very naughty with her in the house even though we are married and already have a child. What is that about?

We all gave those thoughts gandt when things started to go wrong this time (mc#2) I initially said not more TTC. By the time it was confirmed and had ERPC I was itching to get going. Then each time AF shows I want to give up again until a few days later and on and on it goes.

Jones how did you get on seeing someone yesterday? How are you doing? Fx for you x

Hi everyone, thank you for your kind words, it really means a lot.
Didn't see anyone yesterday, EPU refused to see me without a referral from a doctor, all doctors were closed so called a number of the doctor covering the area, he wouldn't give me a referral as he felt it was too early! I know I have had a MC, lots of blood all day yesterday and today, a negative test as well, just seems so unfair that this has happened again.
I'm trying to 'man up' but am actually finding it very difficult today, have only just made it downstairs. I am very afraid there is something wrong with me, both MC have been at 5 weeks, my body seems to give them no chance to get any further.
My next step is I will try and see my GP next week to check both MCs have been recorded, I will explain my fears but don't don't hold a lot of hope for getting help.
The sad thing is I think I will need to go through this again and I don't feel strong enough to do that. I am surrounded by babies, my best friend had a baby today which resulted in a massive crying fit!
I'm 31, I have been pregnant twice in the last 3 months but very afraid of what potentially my body is doing to these little beans xxx

Oh Jones that sounds really scary for you. Absolutely typical that these things happen at times when there is no one available to give any reassurance in the form of scans or advice.

Totally agree about going to the doctor and getting your miscarriages registered. I am sure I have read that two mcs does not mean you will automatically have a third, though I understand why you would think that, I would too. Does it help to say that at 31 you have time on your side? It probably doesn't, but you do and it sounds like you are very fertile to boot! Hand holding here, hoping for the best bit you know your body and if you say you think the pregnancy is not viable, I believe you.