TTC After MC: The home of hopeful nipples, ovulation eyes and the most determined Mummawannabees around. Chin up, tits out!

[Parsley2506]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Thanks everyone. My hcg is 1962, which is 'appropriate', but low, apparently. She doesn't sound hopeful, though she said there's a chance everything will be fine. I've gone from making plans to preparing for the worst. It's just so shit, I had visions of settling down all happy and reassured this evening, but instead I feel like we're not even at square one, in some no-man's land. DH is being amazing, we've been fighting a bit recently, but he's being so strong and supportive, so that really helps.

Thank you tanny , what I would do without you ladies I do not know.

Ohh seasides I'm so sorry to hear that your scan did not go so well. However at 5 weeks, I think it would be highly unlikely to see an embryo - so you may well have a happy ending when you go in for your scan again. Hope your HCG level comes out high today and its doubles by Friday. I would not lose hope just yet, I know you want to prepare for the worst, but I really do think its too early to tell. The symptoms come and go in any case. FX for you - I hope you get good news today and Friday so you can have a good Easter.

sorry didn't refresh. The HCG sounds normal to me. You can google average HCG levels at 5 weeks and I don't think it is low - surprised that she was not positive, normally they don't let on anyway.
So you would ideally be expecting it to double by Friday - hope its in the magic 4K range. Hang in there and take care.

(((((hugs)))) for Seasides :( hope its a happy ending for you, i really do. thinking of you x

seasides btw as comparison of a pg that was doomed i.e. mine. My HCG at 5+2 was 477 !! So please try not to worry too much.

Thanks so much triple and bessie, that does make me feel better. She advised against re-testing on Friday as they say that it won't necessarily tell us much if it's an ectopic. I don't know - the nurse was a lot more pessimistic that the scan doc, but maybe it's important not to get people's hopes up.

Seasides I'm so sorry your scan wasn't more reassuring but 5 weeks is so so early. Even 6 weeks is too early for many people. My symptoms were completely absent from week 5 to week 6 and I was convinced something had gone wrong. It doesn't always mean something bad. So sorry you're stuck in that awful waiting place but wishing so hard for you for that your next scan will show an embryo with a heartbeat. Hugs.

seasides I'm so so sorry the scan didn't go as well as you hoped today. As others have said it's still very early days so I'm keeping it all crossed for you

sebs sorry the witch seems to be getting you. Have a 'sorry for your irritating LP' card x

broody farewell for now and all the best with your house move plans. In the nicest possible way I hope we don't meet on this thread again

belle welcome but here's hoping you're not here long

office sending positivity your way x

to everyone else! nothing much to report here, AF seems to be pretty normal flow considering it's my first since the mmc/erpc so I'm trying to feel grateful for that.

Please can I join. I had a MMC last November and then several months of WTF bleeding and passing clots and pain - GP took a while to get his bum into gear to get me a scan and all.

Anyway, I think that we are going to maybe, perhaps, potentially start again with TTC. I'm just waiting for AF to pop up and then think we might start.

Feeling utterly terrified of starting the crazy journey that is TTC. We have a DD who, I feel, was quite effected by the MMC (of the lack of Mummy time she is used to), and she's only really now back on track. I think this is why I'm so hesitant about trying again in case it goes wrong again.

Just realised how long a post this is, sorry

seasides I'm maintaining the posifrickentivity for you my lovely. You deserve this pregnancy so much, I am keeping everything crossed for you.

to everyone else. I don't get as much time to post on this thread as I'd like, it moves so fast but please know I'm lurking and rooting for you all! Sorry to see so many new people since I last posted, I wish you all short stays but as I hope you're finding out, this thread is full of wonderful caring ladies!

No news here, awaiting arrival of that bloody witch any second now. I have a lovely naice bottle of Pinot Noir to cheer myself up when it does however, and 4 days off work! Also got our referral back to the fertility clinic in July. 2 years in now, oh how time flies!

Hi, please can I join?
I'm 35 and TTC #2. MMC at 11+5 at the end of Feb. Had an unmanaged miscarriage and first AF came 29 days later so im hoping my cycle is back to 'normal' although i have a a sneaking suspicion that PCOS may be lurking. However, GP wont send me for bloods until my 2nd AF. So starting to get back in the game again, in fact may go and pounce on the hub soon to increase chances of best possible outcome!
This thread is great, gives me hope. Good luck everyone!

seasides as others have said hopefully it's just to early. I know that doesn't help how you must be feeling right now. But keep strong for your little bean...today you are pregnant. Sending up a prayer for you and your bean xxx

Welcome gandt and florence, you'll get great advice and support here from some funny, knowledgeable and slightly bonkers ladies, but I hope in the nicest possible way neither of you are here for long

parsley Ooo Pinot, can I have some too please?

Welcome new ladies.

Seasides I'm so sorry you are going through this dreadful uncertainty, saying a little prayer for you and your bean xx

morning all,

sorry to the newbies that are here with recent mc's, how sad :(

hope everyone else is ok.

i got my "peak" this morning on clearblue. so should ov today/tomorrow.(altho had twinges last night, so lord knows. dtd last night to cover bases anyway)

feeling really low today, have tears rolling now reading all the new posts.

:( x

Oh no bessie sorry your having a bad day. They really are tough aren't they? I hope you can take a little comfort in the fact that your not alone and we all have these wretched, awful days :( hoping that the sunshine helps to lift your spirits, and we are all here if you need to vent xx

Hi can I join? I had a miscarriage in February and have been ttc since then. Just got my AF today so feeling a bit low. I do have one DS who is 2.

Need to get through 3 baby showers in the next few weeks and countless 'so when are you thinking of having another one?' questions.
So sorry to read of other losses. It's heartbreaking isn't it

Hi Ellis, sorry you are here. AF for me tomorrow so I feel you pain. I will have been TTC #2 for a year in July, mc in February.

Well I have had a stern word with myself and have decided to let people know that no.2 is most likely not going to happen. I have been avoiding my MIL as she so wants a second grandchild and has made references to it, pretty much directly I gave birth. I've asked OH to have a gentle word on Saturday when he goes over and explain that it's likely not possible. At the very least hoping she will then drop the subject entirely and she can get on with enjoying the grandson she was never likely to have before OH and I met (he was previously in a long term relationship with his ex who was much older than him).

So I've decided to put the monitor away, stop tracking OV and get a life instead. I'm not sure I've ever felt quite so inadequate and soul destroyed as I have since we started TTC. It really is a special sort of hell on earth just watching months scan passed whilst treading water. Enough already.

So I am booking the smear test this month as I am way way overdue and high risk after my LLETZ a while back and we shall just enjoy having sex without the need for contraception ever again. Lucky old me huh

Welcome Ellis and sorry you find yourself here.

Bessie sorry you feel low, it's so bloody miserable some days , hand holding here.

Sebs you've been through the mill completely so putting away all the ttc stuff will definitely be a good thing for a while, as you say just time to concentrate on other things as much as possible and give yourself a break. Be kind to yourself, it's been such a shite road for you, you deserve a break.

As for questions about number 2, I've just started telling people I've had an mc, it is great for shutting up all the questions and just makes people stop and think a bit. I've been pleasantly surprised by the reactions of most people and it's also revealed a whole load of people who have been through it but have never said, it's almost like a taboo. So I'm breaking that particular taboo and just saying it. It feels a lot better than having to carry the burden around silently.

Spoke to dh about ttc again last night, said I do want to try but not very scientifically, just plenty of tith so we can build some bridges between us too. He said he's still not in a very good place with it all at the moment (this is quite something for him to say out loud!) and just wants to have a think about it a bit. Fair enough, we are in this together and I think not putting pressure on one another can only be a good thing. Hopefully we'll find ourselves in happier times soon.

Sorry for the essay, just needed to get it out, although the sun is shining I'm feeling pretty today. How's that for woe is me, fish slaps please.

Thanks so much all-the sore boobs are back today, so that's a bit reassuring. Bit of a sore back too but so symptoms other than that. Been debating whether to ask for 2nd bloods, but think I'd rather wait until next week when I can get a clear yes or no. Plus I get to be pg for a little bit longer this way...which is a silly way to think, I know.

Big decisions from people-sounds really healthy that you and your dh have talked it through carly, mine finds communicating hard too, it's great when they start to say how they really feel. Men are from mars and all that. sebs, I'm sorry you feel it won't happen, though you sound really strong about it. I know it feels like forever, but a year is within the time frame for docs even starting to run tests etc. It's always good to tell people not to ask personal questions etc though, and temper expectations, it's your body and your emotions and you do with them what you feel comfortable.

I do tell people too carly- I hate this idea that we're supposed to suffer in silence with it when it's so common. I told my sister yday, I feel bad though as she is as sad and worried for me as I thought she'd be, and sheu having a hard time too just now. I'm glad it's out I'm the open but I don't want to make her feel worse.

Sorry for all the new faces, I am so sad for your losses. It's just awful. I hope you're all as ok as you can be.

Sorry to see so much sad news on here today :( this is such an emotional thing to go through it's a wonder anyone copes really. Sorry to see so many new ladies as well, as always may your stay here be a short one :)

I'm starting to get the nudging and winking about trying for number two, just about managing to hold it together but it is upsetting. The thing is I want to be able to discuss my mc openly but without turning into a blubbering wreck and I'm not quite there yet.
I really hope to be able to soon and think that I will be in the right place for me to discuss it later in the year but it is a difficult one as people have their own problems, seems to be a lot if stress about in my part of the world for everyone at the minute.

But for an injection of positivity..... Summer is round the corner, and I know I have many things to be grateful for including good health and good friends so today I'm popping to the shop in my lunch break, I'm buying myself an Easter egg and some beer for tonight. Diet? What diet? anyone want to join me?

I've just completed a Zumba class with tears in my eyes every 10 minutes. I am such an emotional wreck it's embarrassing. Hand holding for everyone today xx

Sorry there's a lot of you feeling so down today, hugs all round.

Sebs, i think it takes a strong person to be able to admit defeat. But like Cake said you're still within year, it's still very possible for you. Maybe taking a break from it will give you your happy ending. Same to you Cake.

My dh finds it hard to communicate too. If i'm having a down day, he simply says 'Oh don't get all depressed again', which inevitably starts a row. I'm far from depressed, thats a big statement but sometimes i just want him to say that yes, this is shit!! I never thought i'd be the one in this position, struggling to do the one things as woman we're designed to do.
I've also told people about the mc. It does shut people up, but also it makes me mad that it is taboo. It happens often, if more people talked about it we wouldn't feel quite so inadequate.

seasides glad you're feeling more positive today, I hope you enjoy the long weekend and get a reassuring test next week!

Now sebs, please don't get into that kind of talk. There's a few long term ttcers on this thread, and plenty of other threads dedicated to it specifically where BFPs can and do happen, they just take a bit longer. Up to two years is considered 'normal' (fucking frustrating, but normal).
I know only too well how it feels to have your hopes dashed each month, but I'm not giving up and neither should you! Chin up and tits out.