Karma's a load of old shite! The BESH have gone through a fair old heap of bollocks lately so it's time we had some good news!

[Fabuluce]

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

COFW (come on Fankle womb). Sending the hale of hope your way and re asserting vice like grip on toe.

Thanks for the toe holds, fish slaps and COW shout outs.

The boob ache has sort of built up again over the course of the day. I'm just thinking as long as there is no bleeding, everything is ok.

I guess I could call the EPU and ask about it, given that I've miscarried before and this has sort of been an assisted conception (it was either the clomid or the endo removal..or both). I did ask the ACU about getting an early scan but they will only do that if you've had actual treatment. And I hadn't gotten started on that...fucking protocol! The other option is to book in for a private scan and bloods, maybe? I think I will pursue that.

MissH I'm 5+4. Time is going backwards, I bloody swear!

I know you know the symptoms can come and go and it's no reason to menkul but it's pointless trying to make yourself think otherwise. We are the unfortunate few for whom pregnancy will always be a perpetual state of anxiety and nerves because of what we've gone through, but never fear for the BESH will always be here to coddle you with breams of braveness and pollocks of positivity. (Hugs disguised as back slaps)

A private scan sounds like a good idea if your EPU aren't forthcoming but as Missh says do push hard for more care.

Glad your door is sorted barking - exactly the kind of silly thing RAF does.

My front garden is fine now - I am normally aOK with waxing but this time was not good! Usual (very good) waxing lady, but she was angrily telling me about her husbands visa woes so maybe she took her stresses out on my poor poon!

If you can afford it and nhs won't play ball I'd go for it, I'd go on seven days, so 6+4! I know it feels like you're dragging through treacle but you'll get through!

Afternoon Hags.

I've come to say goodbye for a while. I've been really struggling since my last miscarriage and am in complete limbo headfuck land with thoughts and feelings whirling making me depressed. This has not been helped by my MN addiction I am constantly reading the mc threads sapping my hope of ever having a successful pregnancy, torturing myself with the pregnancy boards/ante-natal threads, and despairing at the funny threads all about peoples gorgeous kids and the amazing moments they give other people. This on top of my only two local friends having their baybees and my teammate about to drop has been sending me into a horrible spiral that I just can't get out of.

So I have deleted the app off my phone and am saying see you later. I will be back after my rmc appointment at the end of June when everything will be hopefully ramping up again.

I will always be BESH and know that I am still cheering you all on, just from a distance for now, I'm not in a place to offer any support at the moment, I'm sorry.

CUNT

MissH sorry you are feeling this way. It's so very tough and I can completely understand the addiction. MG is always warning me not to get too obsessed with forums and googling stuff in futile attempts to find an answer to the question that, in your case, only the rmc can give you. But it doesn't stop me...and it really isn't helpful for the sanity. I really hope the rmc gives you a clear explanation for everything. And I hope this dreadful limbo period goes by as quickly as possible.

Cheering you on for being brave and kicking your MN habit (for a little while anyway).

BESH til the end!

Sorry you're struggling missh but I totally understand. A reliable sign I'm not coping is when I end up reading the mc boards. ^

MissH I realise you probably won't see any of our replies but I just wanted to say I understand and I'm sorry you're in such a crap place at the moment. I hope you'll be back on your twat cushion where you belong (!) soon.

barking follicle is one of those words where the more you read it, the more made up it looks! When (and, in fact, how) will sperm meet egg? They wash it and stuff first right? Do they then just squoosh it up there with a basting device?

Understood Miss and am already looking forward to seeing you back here in June with more news and gratuitous 'cunts'!

Frog that's sounding like a healthy follie - well done you! Have they given you an indication of d-day yet? Do they let you ovulate naturally or do they give you a trigger drug so they can plan the basting better??

I have spent all day glossing again. I will never ever willingly choose to have a staircase bannister with spindles and have them glossed. Fuck me but it took a long time to do! End is in sight though - tomorrow should hopefully be my last day of glossing and we hand over to new tenants on Saturday. Hurrah!!

Frog I forgot to say, did the clinic tell you what to eat to aid healthy egg production? Protein is great - eggs for eggs also do try and get veg proteins on board rather than just loads of red meat, butter etc chickpeas, lentils, aduki beans etc are all great plus plenty of multi coloured veg for the beta carotene, zinc etc.

I need some help me and my husband have only been married since valentine's day and we have been talking fertile aid for half a month and now he wants to give up for good stop having sex all together cause nothing is working I have a daughter but not his I am 31 he is 34 I want more kids and he wants a child of his own but now like I said he is giving up what do I do?

Hmmm not sure this is going to be the right thread for you VWinfield.

Hello hags!

I have to agree with FriendofDorothy re VWinfield - perhaps one of the other ttc threads would be able to give you some advice.

MissH I'm sorry you're feeling this way and entirely understand why taking a break from MN is so needed. I hope the rmc are able to give you some answers.

Barking did you have another scan to check the follicle? I know nothing about how it all works - are the drugs supposed to stimulate multiple follicles? I'm following your example and trying to effect a career move. Not entirely out of teaching, but possibly moving sideways into a more pastoral role in school. Anything to get away from all this stress over exam results!

How you doing Fankle?

Fab are all those foods to help with healthy egg development? I wonder if that's where I'm going wrong.

I've just been having a bit of a cry this morning after a family member announced her pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, I'm really chuffed for her: she was told at quite a young age that she'd never be able to have children due to various issues, so I'm really pleased. It's just that part of me is also insanely jealous. It seems that every fucker I know at the moment is announcing a pregnancy. I just want it to be my turn. Now I feel like a total cunt

fab no advice on diet from the clinic, but I'd already got a personal plan from 'chasing rainbows' that was recommended on another mn thread. It was following the advice on that which led to the wheat free diet and in the process I've definitely upped the eggs and veggie intake. My snacks are now loads of peppers, carrots and cucumber dipped into humous instead of biscuits (although the gluten free triple choc biscuits from the co-op are luuuurvely). After a month of 'cleanse' (no alcohol, no wheat) I've relaxed the wheat, but am still mainly wheat free, and when I do eat wheat I limit it to only once a day.

VW I think you may have stumbled into the wrong thread m'love.

cunty I had another scan this morning, up to 16mm now. Just got the blood test results and my hormones aren't high enough yet so I'm back again tomorrow morning for another blood test. I always think of all the questions I want to ask once I've put the phone down... The drugs are supposed to stimulate 1.5-2 follicles (no idea how you stimulate half a follicle) to give a better chance of pregnancy rather than the one you'd get each month (assuming your body is managing that). If you get more than 2 they cancel the cycle as they don't want to risk multiples. I'm assuming they'll give me the hcg(?) injection tomorrow or Friday to make me ovulate if my bloods indicate I'm not going to do it on my own.
A sideways move sounds good. I handed in my notice yesterday. Was shaking when I did it but feeling a huge sense of relief now. No more working evenings! No more working weekends! Just 8 more teaching weeks to get through!
And yep, I'm still a jealous bitch when it comes to any pg or baby announcement, no matter who or how well deserved. I hate myself for it, but I just can't do the 'so happy for her' thing genuinely.

bugs I think I've finally got the hang of it, and it might be my last jab tonight! 17wks! How time flies (for everyone else)! I think I'd also be tempted by a private scan, just to keep the menkul briefly at bay.

cunty this was linked to elsewhere, and it's not recent, but I think a lot of it rings true:

familybuilding.resolve.org/site/DocServer/15_Coping_with_the_Stress_of_Infertility.pdf?docID=5705&JServSessionIdr004=48muc46124.app214b

Thanks for the link Barking - the thought of only 8 more teaching weeks until the summer is keeping me going at the moment, but I can't imagine how much better it would feel knowing that it doesn't start all over again in September. At least the last half term will be a bit less pressured for me once exam season is out of the way.

Thanks all for the reassurance that I'm not as cunty as my name suggests!

He

Hello all, just marking my spot as I'd lost you from my Thread's I'm On and like to keep an eye on the other ESH

Hello Frank - how's the fully doing? How old is she now?

Welcome back Bugs - I was scared you'd abandoned us! I'm so pleased it's all working for you - 17 weeks already? How wonderful So good to follow Euro's pregnancy too although a little tinged with sadness as I first met her on the egg buddies group and still haven't had my success.

I'm soooo tired. We are handing our house over to new tenants tomorrow and we've now painted every room, glossed everywhere, done improvement work, replaced carpets - it looks flipping wonderful! Pretty gutting when we are living in a serious do-er upper that needs sooo much work. We're going to take a much needed break at the weekend, enjoy the sun and crack out the BBQ along with the rest of the uk

What are the rest of the hags up to this weekend?

Bloody autocorrect - Filly not Fully!!!

Hi Fab, E will be 10 weeks old on Monday Where did the time go?!

BBQ sounds like a fantastic idea, we've got to go visiting relatives unfortunately before HWHNN goes away so no peace for me I'm afraid!

ARSE CUNT FUCK

I've had enough now. Tomorrow I have to go back to the hospital for another early morning dildocam and blood test. That will be 5 days in a row. Will someone tell my follicle to grow another 1mm and my oestrogen to fucking rise?

I wanted a lovely lie in, I did not want to set my alarm for 6.30 again tomorrow .

IUI sucks arse. My cycles are a fucking joke.