Karma's a load of old shite! The BESH have gone through a fair old heap of bollocks lately so it's time we had some good news!

[Fabuluce]

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

barking your mantra is 'it'll all be worth it in the end........CUNT!'. Rinse, repeat ad infinitum. Hope it's better news tomorrow - COF!!!

bugs woo you're back! I too thought you'd left us all How's bean?

fab well done you on some stellar DIYing. I always swear off it forever every time we finish something but then forget....

We're heading off on holiday for a week so I shan't be posting much but know I am sending twat vibes to anyone who needs them and will bring the salmon of sunshine home with me!
Being taken to a tres fancy spa on Sunday but as the droid is not due till Monday I shall be POAS at Gatwick! Fun fun fun.

See ya laterz hags!

Have fun rainy.

missh you won't be the first BESH to take an MN break when it all gets too much. Hope to see you back here soon.

Cunty protein-rich foods are supposed to help with egg growing.

I think mixed feelings for others' announcements is perfectly normal. I usually started off with bitter jealousy and then moved on to being happy for them and sad for me.

fab sorry for making you feel sad. You will get there hun. But seriously, I know how you feel. When I did IVF#1 one of the other ladies ended up having her EC on the same day as mine.. We both got BFPs (with the same due date having "ovulated" on the same day). I then miscarried. Whenever she posted about her pregnancy and the birth, I was pleased for her but couldn't hep thinking about what might have been, so I get it. If you'd like me to stick to the PESH fred from now on and cheer you all on without posting here, just say the word.

barking how bloody irritating. But on the plus side, you will be up bright and early to take advantage of the sunny weekend ahead. Yay!

Oh Euro please don't leave us (even though you did just say Hun - double arm punch for that one right there!)! It's is bittersweet but also a validation that ivf can and will work, even when you've all but given up hope so you're also my flag bearer for what I'm doing and keeping me inspired to do a third round. So after all that, and in a nutshell, please don't go ya bollox, we luffs ya!

Hiya Hags

Barking hope the scan went well yesterday and you can finally get going with the iui. I've just read that Resolve article you posted the link to earlier in the week- really good and really helpful. I'm going to send it round my local group of Infertility Network ladies (a great source of support for me these last few months).

Cunty I think when you have a full on job then thinking about changing it or doing less hours\taking time out can be a good idea. The stress of infertility takes over and I found I really didn't care about my job as much (still don't). This is important and you have to do whatever you can you keep stress to a minimum, whilst still having a normal life and keeping busy. Here's to career changes and less stress for the teaching hags!

Bugs Euro and Frankle lovely to hear you're doing well in the land of PESH and...what's the next stage called??

I've been v busy the last 5 days which has helped keep a lid on the menkul...but the week ahead is looking worrying clear work wise and socially. I may need to book that early scan to give me something to do.

Rain hope you have a fab and restful holiday.

Peace, arm punches and prawns of positivity to you all.

About 6+3, maybe 4. Although by my last period I should be 6+6...except I ovulated on day 18 so will be about 4 days behind.

I'm going to phone to make an appointment tomorrow as really don't care how much it costs. I would prob want a second at about 9/10 weeks as well!

fankle yesterday was 5th time lucky! Treatment tomorrow . I would do the private scan. I never saw a heartbeat last time (early scan at 7+ due to spotting and it being a clomid bfp) so will be desperate to get to 8 weeks and see that all is well.

I'm in the garden trying desperately to finish these writing assessments as I'll have numeracy assessments to mark this week . Just 8 more weeks and all my evenings and weekends will be my own!!

OK, but just say the word if you need a break fab.

fankle do it. The first tri really drags. Each day seems like a week. Having a scan in the middle really helps.

I had scans at 6+1 (standard at my clinic), 7 and 8 weeks at the local EPU due to bleeding and then 10+4 and 12+4 as part of the Harmony test package at the FMC. A bit excessive but I do think an early scan helps.

Hurrah frog!

We've spent the day smartening up our garden - weeding, planting up new plants, scrubbing the slabs and decking and all that sort of thing. It looks really nice now. :)

Fingers crossed for you for tomorrow Barking

bugs DCW has to go in at 9 and provide his sample, it then gets washed and the fastest swimmers collected. I go in at 11.10 and in a smear test type scenario they push a little tube up into my womb then deposit said fastest swimmers right by where the egg should have just arrived, as it will be exactly 36 hours after my trigger shot. I then have the longest 2ww in the world, and the pg test will be the morning I go on a residential trip with my class. Absolute nightmare timing. Trouble is, I can't rely on AF arriving to confirm a bfn (even though my lp is usually 7 or 8 days so I never get to the end of a 2ww) as the progesterone to support that issue is likely to delay it anyway, and I can't poas early as the hormones from the trigger shot could give me a false bfp up to 12dpo so I'd be too scared to do it early in case it's not a 'real' one.

And once I've dragged myself through the 2ww and got my bfp I'll just have the next 8ww to the 12 week scan!! And then the rest! Ttc for ages plus a mc really does take all the innocence and excitement out of it all. I can imagine I'll be one of these that refuses to buy a cot until it's been born and has nowhere to sleep and no clothes to wear .

And in the polar opposite to bugs I delayed my poas so I could have a weekend away with friends without feeling miserable and still be in 2ww maybe possibly land (I was due to test on the Sunday so delayed it by a day) so it wasn't horrendous. It just meant that I could cope with the result together with TWH.

Damn - clicked too soon! Meant to say good luck for today I hope it all goes smoothly and try not to put yourself under too much pressure during your 2ww. Have a lucky prawn of positivity to hold on to.

Fab are you trying to kill me?! Take that prawn away!!!! I'm allergic to shellfish!!!!
I don't think hiding from it on test date will be a possibility, I'll be able to go in for the test in the morning before work then I have to call for the blood results after 2, when I quite feasibly might have no mobile reception! I'll poas with DCW first thing in the morning but either way I'm going to then have to go and stay in a youth hostel with a load of children . But as it's going to be a bfp that's fine! . PMA, PMA...

bugs I do need to remember to quiz them carefully about I can and can't do - I'm pretty active and want to be able to do what I can to keep my mind off stuff, but nothing that could risk anything.

So, BESH, I'm 0 dpo. Too soon for symptom spotting? .

Hurrah! Fingers crossed for you Frog

How was it? I know I was so lucky not to have to go through the stabbing and the turkey basting, but I'm not out of the woods yet... I really hope it works for you.

Having a scan on Wednesday

Whoop for the frogmeister, everything crossed for you except the prawns . Just popping by to see how my fav BESH are doing. Sorry, gone AWOL because work has been bonkers and actually it's been quite healthy for the old angst. Except for the fact I miss you all and wonder how the heck you're getting on.

So I might just keep a weather eye from a distance if that's OK but be sure I'll be rooting for you. When things quieter down, I'm coping better or If anything momentous in our lives happens I'll be back like I shot I'm sure.

Glad you're OK in a menkully way Fankle. Waves to Fab, Pars, see you next Tuesday, the also absent Miss H and all other BESH I've missed. Love and arm punches to all x

Oooo, good luck fankle, everything crossed.

To be honest I'm just pretending I'm already pg and am completely refusing to believe this won't work. Positive thinking all the way!

The prospect of going through it all again is not appealing - eight 7.30am trips to the hospital for dildocams and blood tests in the space of 2 weeks, 11 days of injections at the same time every evening, the pain of the speculum (I always find it painful anyway on the smear test, but they can't even put lubricant on it for the IUI) and now twice daily pessaries.... I was really naive, I thought this was the easy, non-invasive alternative to IVF, and obviously in comparison it is, but it's been a lot more tiring both physically and emotionally than I was anticipating. Not to mention a complete pain in the arse to fit round everything given it's all so unpredictable timing wise.

But if it does the job I'll quickly forget all of that!! .

I do actually feel a lot calmer than I have done for a while. I'm *PP and determined to enjoy these 2 weeks no matter what the outcome!

*potentially pregnant

You are indeed PUPO barking and no-one can take that away from you!