Karma's a load of old shite! The BESH have gone through a fair old heap of bollocks lately so it's time we had some good news!

[Fabuluce]

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

High kicks to all! I'm still in lurker limbo but keeping an eye on you all!

Rmc visit was very brief, couple more bloods to be done for me and BR, appointment on June 30th to see consultant and discuss results. Off the pill, tracking OV to avoid ( ) getting pregnant!

Making peanut butter brownies today! Yum!

Oh god they sound lush Missy

I need to make those! Haven't made brownies in ages and bought some nice chocolate with the intention to do a batch. Do you have a recipe link?

I still have my ear seeds. Don't really notice the sudden rush of endorphins when I press them

The question "how are you" is so meaningless, especially in a text. But then, it's hard to know how to break the ice if it's been a while. I have been guilty of not contacting lots of my friends this last year or so, simply because I know they are diffed or I dread them telling me they're diffed. So now I'm thinking I need to make up for my lack of contact....without telling them the real reason why I've been AWOL. Actually most of them probably know anyway...and it would actually be ok to tell them the truth.

I'm 5 weeks today. Still got the sore boobs and copious cm, had a few crampy twinges too, but no sickness. And no major fatigue . I caved and did a clear blue digi test yesterday which said 2-3 weeks pregnant. I don't think i allowed myself to fully believe it...but it was nice to see the result. Now I need to figure out when I should test again for the 3+ result. Madness, I know. MG would not be happy if he knew I was continuing to test as he's advised against it. He's so bloody sensible! It gets on my tits!

No recipe I'm afraid, I'll just Google later!

I have now spent three hours on MN and need to get some cleaning done and get to Tesco and make brownies before BR gets home

missh I'd never even heard of peanut butter brownies! How have I got this far in life without them?! Are they just peanut butter or chocolate and peanut butter?

fankle Pah! who needs sensibleness? (officially a word btw).

cunty how was the needle woo? I'm going for mine tomorrow.

Stab two last night didn't go so well. I struggled to pull it out again and ended up coming out at an angle and making it bleed . Didn't bleed after stab 1. Third time lucky hey?!

^^

Top tip for stabbing is to do it as slowly as poss (apart from the actual stabby bit obvs). The slower you inject seems to make a massive difference on post bruising. What are you stabbing with? Having skipped iui as I'm ancient I've got no idea what the go is!

Anyone heard of a Nanaimo bar? It's a choc layered no bake thing. I'm thinking of making it my own by losing the choc (as I don't eat it) and adding a peanut butter middle and a hard yoghurty top. Madness or genius? I heart peanut butter.

fab I'm injecting with gonal f. Found it easier tonight, the key for me seems to be to lie down. Stabbing down rather than horizontally was a lot better. But, despite holding the end in and leaving it in for 10 seconds, when I took the needle out it had a drop of liquid on the end of it, and there was a drop of liquid on my skin where I'd taken the needle out . Surely I can't have dragged the drug back out of me?!

Oooh they sound amazing missh! I am also a peanut butter addict - I am particularly fond of oeanut butter m&ms and get them brought over from the US any chance I get (pretty hard and expensive to get hold of over here).
Never heard of a nainamo fab but having just googled it I think I'd like to try one!

barking you'll be a stabby pro before you know it. If we get put on the iui route I don't know if I'll be able to do it. I am sort of ok with needles but actually stabbing myself - not sure about that!

My inner BESH came to the fore tonight. RAF and I had a squash court booked at our local leisure centre earlier, but the car park was totally rammed so drove about for ages trying to find a space, and went past some flash penis-mobile parked over two spaces. After finding a space (finally) I was so irritated (hello post OV hormone weirdness!) I left a note under their windscreen telling them they park like a cunt. I felt immensely better immediately!

rain that's brilliant!

Wow!!

Sounds like he deserved it Rain

definitely deserved it! There's a tiny twisted part of me that hopes they had a kid with them who might have found the note first and had to ask their mum/dad what 'cunt' means. But only a tiny bit. (2 fingers to karma right there)

So RAFs trip to the hospital with his pot of baby batter was all for not as our stupid GP gave him the wrong kind of pot to spaff in. Not a problem tho really, he can go next week and we're off on holibobs for a week next Saturday so the results should be back when we are. I am off for Day 21 test (round #3) on Monday morning. Means getting up at stupid o'clock as the blood clinic is a drop in one, so the queues can be mahoosive.

What's the BESH up to this weekend? I am on my tod as RAF is off on a weekend in Monaco - alright for some! Eurovision anyone??

Well done, rainyday! You iz true BESH.

I am in the pub. Hurrah for Fridays! And GFBW is back from his travels so all is good.

Re stabbing: fab is right - do it slooooooowly. And don't worry about a couple of drops here and there. If it was that easy to fuck up, we wouldn't be trusted to do it

fizzy that's a very good point, I shall remember that! .

Nice work rain.

Re: stabbing, putting a needle through your skin is an odd thing to do, no doubt about it. But you do soon get used to it.

fankle if and when you feel ready, come and join us on the PESH fred (in ante-natal clubs).

This weekend we are commencing operation declutter (before putting house on the market) with a charity shop run. I also want to tidy up the front garden (no, this is not a euphemism) but it needs to stop raining first.

I tidied up my front garden today (pun totally intended - we're off on holiday next week) and I can't get comfy now, it's redder than a smacked arse!

How'r all the hags today?

Rain & Barking - are you both currently stabbing?

Fankle - How's the menkul? Do you have any early scans booked?

Who's near poas? Do I need to start practising my kidney punches at all? I'm bored with not ttc, it's the opposite to what I've been doing for the last year

I watched the rmc documentary by horizon on YouTube the other day and am now hoping there's nothing wrong with us so I can just get back on it, see the consultant on June 30th which would be two weeks after ovulation so thinking about getting diffed with a holiday baybee in the hope that we're ok and are told to just keep trying but under their care, meh!

Morning Hags!

Yes, completely understand your wanting to get back on it Miss - it must feel like madness to be on the pill when you want to get diffed so much. However be aware that unexplained infertility is a very frustrating place to be as well as having a reason for it all. The only benefit to it is that you have no-one to blame for it for not having that baybee. I felt huge relief when I found a reason for our infertility and the depression when it was body that was the fuck up thankfully TWH doesn't ever seem to throw the blame game card at me so I'm thankful for small mercies

Nothing exciting in my world at the moment - today will be mostly full of glossing zzzz. I feel like I'm counting the days to my doctor's appointment for my poorly womble and back pains. I'm pretty sure it's endometriosis from my excessive dr googling sessions and of course the classic things gp's say for that is to get pregnant. It's certainly not from lack of trying!! Also will be having my repeat lupus tests done and a smear - wow what an exciting gp appointment.

rain hope you're feeling a little more comfortable today! I abandoned the intensive gardening a while ago as I found removing the weeds from their roots just made them angry and the regrowth was annnoying. I just use a strimmer now, needs doing more regularly but more gentle than the chemicals in the weed killer.

miss h Just me stabbing at the moment I think and making a pretty good hash of it still A new level of incompetence last night - bleeding enough to need a plaster (so I could pull my jeans back up and go out instead of holding a tissue on it) and a hard ball formed under the skin. Gone this morning, just a bruise left, but pretty weird. I will bloody well get the hang of this by the time I do the last one!

Hope you get a useful answer next month - fingers crossed.

fab I'm not glossing but after I've finished my school work today I will be varnishing the door I varnished yesterday. After sanding it down again. DCW decided to chisel and plane before the varnish was dry, so the door is now coated in sawdust...

Omg I would be as mad as a box of tree frogs!!! Mind you I've found that it's possible to gloss with a mini roller an a damn sight quicker than brushing. Oh the glamour!

The hard ball bit is normal too and all part of the process - sometimes you'll hit a little vein and that's what happens. Unfortunately it's nigh on impossible (as far as I can see anyway) to avoid them as you can't see the bastard things! I know you'll think I'm mad but I quite miss stabbing.

Hello hags.

I'm having a very quiet weekend (read boring). But I guess boring is good at this point as not really got much to menkul about, well apart from the lack of symptoms. I just have sore boobs really.

We've managed to do a bit of legitimate gardening this weekend . But I have lol'd at your lady garden analogies!! I'm a strimmer-er myself as can't bear the regrowth itch and ingrown nastiness I get from waxing etc. MG isn't even getting down there at the moment so it's roaming free this week. I think shagging is off the menu for now as am trying to do the opposite of everything I did the last time I was diffed- so no shagging, running, body-combating or glass of champagne on Christmas Day

Euro thanks for the PESH invite. I think I'd feel a bit fraudulent going on there at just 5+3 weeks. Think I might just stay here for a bit longer, if the hags don't mind? I had a look at the Jan ante natal fred and found it a all bit stabby because I:
A. Don't have all the symptoms everyone else seems to have
B. am not mentally prepared to get mega excited or think too far ahead re pillows and maternity clothes.

Basically I am trying to do minimal activity and not read too much about what's going on in there. except I totally have been

Phoning midwife tomorrow (she was on leave last week). Think I will book a private early scan around 8 weeks if I make it to then

If I sound like I'm menkulling and totally trying to deny it that's because I am.

Right am off to bake brownies! Might experiment with peanut butter ones...

fankle I cried on the midwife and got an early scan. She was sympathetic because it was a clomid bfp and I was clearly stressed because I'd had a tiny bit of spotting. That was at 7 weeks. You should hang around as long as you need before you feel comfortable making the jump .

Well, 5 hours spent on school work and half of it still not done. Definitely made the right decision to take a break from teaching. Handing my notice in this week . Door varnished with one coat all over. Just two to go, then I can start glossing the new front door....

Whenever you're ready fankle. I had to be coaxed on to there. I felt like a fraud.

I took it easy in early pg too, having gymmed in the early weeks of my last one, before the mc (I'm sure there was no link but there is not a lot of logic involved in what goes through your head in early pregnancy).

barking I would have been sooooooooooo annoyed about the dust on the newly varnished door.

Menkul alert!!

My boobs have stopped hurting. They feel less full and just 'normal'. They've been tender and sore for 10 days straight and now nothing. I am just hoping this is not a very bad sign because the same thing happened last time - boobs stopped being sore, then spotting started...

I couldn't bear to go through that again. Especially as it's taken me over 2 years to get diffed again. I'm trying not to worry and just relax...but bloody hell!!

I've made an appointment with the midwife but its not until 27th May, at which point I should be nearly 8 weeks.