Karma's a load of old shite! The BESH have gone through a fair old heap of bollocks lately so it's time we had some good news!

[Fabuluce]

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

I'm still around

Had to refrain from posting yesterday as was in a thoroughly foul mood and swinging between hormonal outbursts of anger and crying.

Started spotting yesterday, which kicked off the whole "ooh, I wonder if this is implantation bleeding" insanity, shortly followed by "every period I have always starts with spotting; stop being a fuckwit" thoughts.

May I indulge in a bit of swearing? Poxy buggering wank arse pissflaps shitfuck. Bollocks. Tits.

Aaaannd... I'm back in the room!

Barking - hope you manage to get in for a scan soon. I don't know anything about IUI - what's the scan for? I know what you mean about the workload, and wouldn't blame you for taking a less stressful job. Could you think of it as a bit of a career break instead, with the possibility of getting back into teaching later? Seems a bit less final then!

Cherry - how's it going with you? Do I need to loiter menacingly with the snapper?

Fankle - it's sodding annoying isn't it when it takes its time to arrive! Hope you know one way or another soon.

Still, at least it's a long weekend!

Nice swearing cunty ^^.

I'm definitely seeing it as a career break, don't want to leave teaching as I'd miss it too much. But it's relevant experience so it shouldn't be a barrier to getting another teaching job in 2 or 3 years time.

Still no fucking AF here either . The scan will check the womb lining so they know whether all's good to start stabbing.
If I don't start bleeding properly overnight (had acupuncture today so hoping that might get things moving) I'll be poas again tomorrow morning...

barking, do I need to poke you in the kidneys this morning? And fankle and possibly cunty too?

fankle I agree about the supplements poss having an effect on cycle length. The other thing that made a difference for me was stopping taking aspirin and ibuprofen (I was taking at least 2 per day). Was when I only found out that I shouldn't after a year ttc.

Re the leaving teaching - have you had a look at online net pay calculators? A friend of mine recently took a big pay cut within teaching but discovered that moving tax bands meant she took home more salary. And when you work it out hour-for-hour it's pretty comparable.

fab hope you had a great time last night!

Just to clarify - the tax band thing probably won't mean you take home more, but might make the reduction in gross salary seem a bit less, iyswim.

Slides in, ochos about the room, flicking hair and pouting wildy. Vincent and Flav were great and made me want to get my dancing shoes back on again. So that's it, I'm definitely going to classes again next Thursday .

Do I need to kidney punch anyone this morning?

fizzy I think jumping up and down on my womb might have more effect - need to bleed!!!!
Still no AF so I poas again this morning (bfn) then went for the scan anyway given I had no idea what was going on. Scan showed my ovaries were at baseline but there was still stuff to bleed so if I start today I stab tomorrow, if I start tomorrow afternoon I should stab tomorrow evening. If still no bleeding then back for another scan on monday.
I did look at an online pay calculator, the salary is fine to live on without sacrificing luxuries .

Fab - glad the dancing was good! Watching Strictly always makes me wish I could dance, but I'm a clumsy oaf with no sense of rhythm or style! Get those dancing shoes on

Fizz - interesting about the tax bands; I'd never considered that before. So - ibuprofen is a bad thing for ttc then? I eat them like sweets when I've got a headache or backache or any other kind of ache. Buggeration! Why are they so bad?

Barking - any news?

I POAS this morning and got an obvious and expected BFN. Still spotting a tiny bit but nothing definitive yet. Do you ladies all track cycles/symptoms very closely? I've been using FF since we started ttc but it's making me a bit crazy with all the preg/non-preg statistics for every symptom. I'm thinking of not using it next time except to record when I ovulate and seeing if that makes me less of a crazy woman.

Too scared to test. Would rather the bastard just showed up then I could justify a big sweary outburst....and gin.

Will try to hold out til tonight and if it doesn't show I promise to poas.

That salary calculator thing is v interesting.

Fab- glad you enjoyed the strictly evening. Now imagining you doing the fandango.

Ibuprofen is a huge no no for TTC I'm afraid - it can bring on a miscarriage so to be avoided if at all poss.

Fuck it: I'm out

What can I take for the horrible cramping then if ibuprofen is out? Paracetamol doesn't do much good, and normally I combine both with a hot water bottle while I'm curled up in bed writhing in pain!

My lovely Chinese doctor gave me some herbs to relax my uterus, but I'm not sure how much faith I have that they'll do the job.

I took ibuprofen regularly when ttc.

Sorry to hear that, cunty. My consultant said it was fine to take it during your period, but to stop after that. It's to do with it being an anti-inflammatory; it is thought it can interfere with ovulation. Same for all NSAIDs. Hope you read this in time to help with cramps this evening!

Anyone got any tips to bring on AF? Yet another day of spotting here, got injections all ready to start but no flow...

for cunty, although it's not wine o'clock yet, so I'll fill that wine glass with some gin instead.....

Caffeine and orgasms!

Without fail sex will always bring on the droid for me.

Looking on the bright side of not having children yet - we are able to have a lie in - and I'm just cooking breakfast to have in bed! The decadence!!

DCW valiantly offered his help this morning but still nothing.... Starting to get a little impatient! 4 days now since spotting started!! I'm out in the countryside now and a long way from a toilet wearing only a pantyliner - if this doesn't bring it on nothing will!!

fankle where are you? What's occurring?

I was doing alright with the pain and trying to be all stoic about it, and then the cramps really kicked in and necessitated some ibuprofen. I'm definitely going to make a GP appointment to ask about the possibility of endo - I have pelvic pain pretty much every day from a couple of days before ovulation to the first day of period. That can't be right, can it?

Thanks for the Barking - it's definitely wine o'clock now! Still no sign of that fucker appearing?

Fankle?

Hey Hags

Haven't tested yet (!) and droid still hasn't shown up.

My excuse for not poas (apArt from fear) is that I'm also in the countryside for the weekend and have been walking all day today (with panty liner also, Barking ). I was bursting for a wee after we finished our 10 mile walk so I went to the loo at the car park. Now back in hotel and have used up all my wee so it will have to wait until I need again. Unless I bail like I did yesterday and this morning when I had ample opportunity to poas.

My boobs are now sore! I am starting to think I could be....but I've also been here before and poas to get a bfn. So I wouldn't say I am exercising great willpower. It's just dread of a bfn.

Cunty def ask your gap about it and ask for a laparoscopy if you're feeling bold. That pain throughout your cycle is not normal.

GP!! Fucks sake!

It's positive!! It's a fucking BFP!!

Can't believe it.

fankle Whaaaaaa?!?!?! BFP!!!!!!
Whoop whoop!!!!!!!

Still nowt to report over here, back for another scan in the morning methinks .

Fantastic news on the BFP Fankle!!!!
Fuck yeah!

Woooohoooo fantastic news :)