Karma's a load of old shite! The BESH have gone through a fair old heap of bollocks lately so it's time we had some good news!

[Fabuluce]

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

fankle I'm not an expert on thyroid stuff but I'd just mention your concerns and ask what they can do about it. If they say nothing then I'd produce something I'd found online (preferably from a medical source) that suggests something should be done about it and see if they change their answer....

cunty yep. TTC issues seem to be disproportionately common amongst teachers. A friend of mine struggled for 3 years. Hormone issues, mc etc. She quit teaching. She's now a mum. I know 5 other teachers all currently struggling as well, and a colleague now on maternity turned to acupuncture before she got pg. I'm in school just after 7am and leave just before 6pm and I still end up working weekends . It can't help ttc really. And that's on top of the stress of focus reviews, lesson obs, ofsted, pupil progress, difficult kids, difficult parents etc etc....

Funnily enough I was offered a job this morning. Still within education but not teaching. Huge pay cut though. And I AM going to get pg at some point so I'd be stupid to leave before claiming maternity. Wouldn't I?

frog hurrah for iui kicking off soon! Just got to get that wretched droid out the way and you'll be on course for your best chance at a bfp for ages!

cunty nice to see you! Your name always makes me smile. It doesn't matter about your lopsided boobs, we still luffs ya.

fankle def push for more tests! No one cares about your fertility as much as you do. I came across a good link to thyroid website the other day - will try to find it.

First day of quarantine went well! Lots of people popped by to see me. The reason is that I iz da management and going to a direct competitor. So I can't be privy to commercially sensitive information. Makes sense really. frog take it take it take it! I held on for a good 2-3 years for the mat benefits and ended up getting stressed and resentful. I may be a little biased by my recent decision

Here's the link

Hope that works!

Thank you honourable Hags.

Cunty- aren't lopsided boobs supposedly normal?

Me too, the right boob is the bigger. Never trust anyone with symmetrical tits!

Despite knowing it's shite at the best of times, I am still CBFMing this month. I really don't want to but I need to get my day21 bloods done this month so need to know when OV happens. From next month I will not be doing it anymore. Just take my vits and shag as often as we can manage. This is my final cycle before my EDD. Feeling pretty shitty about it tbh.

Whoop for getting them to pull their finger out for you Barking. Well played on the emotional card, go get that baybee win.

Fizz I'm totally mind boggled by your job. Enjoy the easy ride, shit why couldn't they just stick you on garden leave and have done?

What the others said on pushing for tests Fankle. Knowing what I know now it's your health and the NHS need pushing all the way to take care of you. They actually have a policy to 'wait and see' and to delay referrals. Well sod that, it didn't help my fucking sister.

Joining you on the manic front Chops soz on work lap top and can't type the c you next Tuesday word or the IT police will have me.

Arm rubs for you Pars, tis shit.

That's for the nearing of the EDD BTW Pars afterall everyone has lopsided tits right? Nowt amiss there.

Fanks all for sharing your thoughts on egg laying for other laydees. Helps lots with easing the menkulling and stopping me rushing in to something I'd regret apart from relying on putting it out there to the universe even though we must have proved the bollocks of karma by now I can't let go of the power of energy and intent.

Oh Barking how much of a pay cut is it? Could you sustain life on it? That's a toughie

rain it's fucking shit. I was so lucky to get my iui appointment letter just days before my edd so at least I had a glimmer of hope. I cried the day before (and DCW's reaction was to say he thought I should get counselling. I told him that in my opinion grieving for your lost baby was normal and I'd probably be more in need of counselling if it didn't bother me ). I was ok ish on the day though. It was the only sunny day we had on our honeymoon and it just felt like woo alert it was a special day in memory of what might have been.

Cherry the job would be 60% of my current wage, so a pretty massive cut. I could probably survive, but the nice holidays wouldn't...... I'm really torn. If I didn't have high hopes for the IUI I might be jumping at it, but to leave and not get maternity pay at this point seems a little reckless. They know about the fertility treatment as well, but still offered it to me.

fankle not head hunted as such, I started working for them two days a week just before Christmas, I cut down to 3 days in school to try and manage the stress and life/work balance. Now they've asked if I would like to work for them full time.

Morning all!

Barking - tough decision on the job! There have been many times I've thought of leaving teaching for something less stressful which might help the ttc effort, but then I don't want to add financial stress from taking a massive pay cut. My boss knows about the infertility issues as she's had to sign off my FC appointments, and keeps saying things like 'learn to work smarter and not harder.' Not incredibly helpful when I teach all exam groups! A bit old school, but have you tried listing the pros and cons of staying Vs going? That's what helped me make a decision - made it more black and white.

Fizz - I guess the quarantine does make sense then, but as Cherry said, why can't they just send you on gardening leave and have done with it? Still, enjoy it if you can!

Cherry - shall we arm ourselves with a red-snapper of reason each and commence with the fish slapping if we get a bit too batshit crazy?

Thanks all for the boob reassurance.

Snappers at the ready... Let the batshit crazy commence

Hmm, barking that's a massive dilemma. Do they need an immediate answer? Can you buy yourself any time to see if you'll be diffed within a month?

I'm not dismissing it immediately despite thr massive pay cut as there's something about opportunities landing in your lap that makes me think things are supposed to be. I'm tired of the paperwork, the pressure and the constant scrutiny and judgements of teaching at the moment. Being in the classroom 7-6 and still having planning and marking to take home is just wearing me down. Maybe a couple of years out of the classroom would be good for me. I've emailed and asked some questions about holidays, hours, ratio of time working from home/office, salaried or paid by hour (currently I get paid by the hour and it's quite flexible) etc. They're going to get back to me by the end of the week as I'd have to hand my notice in at work in 3 weeks to leave at the end of the school year . BIG decision, but definitely worth thinking about. We don't spend much money as we're both tight and we've nearly finished paying off the mortgage so we haven't got any pressure of needing two salaries for that even if interest rates shot up. If we do get pg we won't need lots of money for long haul flights to far away places so that wouldn't be an issue either...

You sound tempted Barking...I know what you mean about opportunities coming to you and how it seems almost like a sign! (Woo indeed)!

Rain you will get through your edd. It's just a day. A sad day but one you will come to the end of. I'm stressing about the prospect of getting to two years since my edd. Dreading it in the very likely case I'm not diffed by August....classic case of me putting pressure on myself.

Ooh Barking that does sound tempting! As one who has put her health at risk and quite possibly out the kibosh on my fertility through doing crazy hours in a ridiculously stressful job all in the hope that I might miraculously get diffed and get that mat leave I can definitely say that leaving was the best thing for me so don't knock it out of the running. Good luck with the mulling over

Rain it's horrible leading up to an EDD so my sympathies are with you. Have a squid to wrap round your shoulders.

Hags I feel dreadful and am now slightly concerned that I might be going a little mental!! I had the metal fucker at the weekend but it only lasted two days. I got very confused as I thought it was 3weeks since the last droid but as my fucking iPhone has been deleting shit from my calendar I actually can't confirm that 100%. I now have a rotten stinker of a cold along with my continued abdominal and back ache and am feeling utterly miz I decided to google short droids and cold symptoms and I'm now wondering whether it was actually an implantation bleed?? Am I going mad? I thiiiiink that I should actually be due on, on Saturday so should I test then? Or should I step away from dr google and get back to sleep? Help.

Thanks BESH! I am feeling marginally less maudlin today but I think I'm just going to have to tackle all these feelings head on until the date passes. Bah!

fab it certainly could be but I am going to urge you to step away from dr. G. Maybe POAS this weekend?

Any job news barking?

Sounds like you shouldn't dismiss it out of hand barking, pit it like that and it's very tempting... As someone else who has in all probability kiboshed fertility in chasing the dream. All the more gutting that -same as Fab - the gratification for getting wherever here is is that the pot of gold ant the end of the rainbow has moved.

A good friend announced her diffedness today. Chuffed for them as I know they've struggled but a kick in the guts at the same time. Pah. ROCH is scared that I'm becoming obsessed with having a family. What can I say. It's hard to not focus on something you really want and can't have .

Anyone else watch that adoption show on ITV tonight? Shit, am I obsessed?

I know Cherry - it is a big knock no every time you get a pg announcement, no matter who it is (but worse when it's an instadiffer).

So ladies- exciting news (I think). We are booked in for our first iui in July! Scary biscuits. Chose to skip June as work is going to be manic that month. Barking - did you decide when you are starting yours?

Have to say I make a point of avoiding any tv programmes about babies - so no OBEM for me. Just makes me wail.

I feel some gin is in order round here. Droid due tomorrow so might as well get the drinks in. Although irl I am thinking I will cut out back the booze for a month or two...in prep for iui. Foolish?? Unrealistic??

Barking I hope you sampled lots of fine NZ wine on your moon? Yummy!

STUPID sodding cockerel crowing at 5.30 every morning. Who keeps a cockerel when you live in a terraced house in a city?! Arses.

fankle the wine in NZ was lovely, pinot noir happens to be my particular favourite anyway . I could be starting iui tomorrow!!!! Yesterday evening there was a bit of blood if I rummaged. I'm fully expecting AF to have arrived when I get out of bed . Then it'll be scan on saturday and start stabbing!!!

cherry I watch all of the adoption programmes . Haven't seen the last episode of 15,000 kids and counting as we were away so it's recorded. I was out last night so got this one recorded as well.... I can't watch baby ones like OBEM any more though. I used to, even after ttc a while, but now they just make me wail and . Couldn't even face the last series of Call the Midwife even though I used to see that more as a historical programme and didn't get upset.

fab I'd poas just to see. I thought I'd had AF but it never really felt enough and a few days later I poas and that was the bfp. Poas might stop the crazy speculation?

Anyway, sat down with DCW last night and put all our outgoings into a spreadsheet. Turns out we would be able to survive if I took a ridiculous pay cut and we'd not be totally skint. . DCW said that if quitting teaching for a couple of years and doing this other job instead would take away stress and make me happy I should do it. Scary stuff. This would be a huge step for me as I have NEVER been financially dependant on anyone else and I don't think I'd want to do this if we weren't ttc but the way I see it at the moment is that either the IUI gets me diffed, in which case I'd rather be in a less stressful job while pg, or it doesn't, in which case my next step is to reduce the stress in my life.....
They should be coming back to me with more details of the new job today, so I can hopefully make a sensible decision.
I had a really good day at work yesterday as well, but it's not that I don't really enjoy my job, it's the workload .

Ooh lovely NZ wine we went to a bee farm when we were there and got some truly scrumptious mead - could do with some right now actually - I'm sure that would make me feel better!

I poas'd and got a bfn so that's that then. I've got a doc's appointment on the 20th (the gynae gp's first appointment!!) so I'll get myself checked out properly then. In the meantime I'm staying in bed with the laptop. We're out this evening for our Christmas present from my sister (Vincent and flavia on tour - i love a bit of strictly!) and we're going to Jamie's Italian first and a cocktail bar after. Will I last?? Wedding tomorrow, thank god it doesn't start till 4 pm!

Frog that's so exciting that you're starting stabbing! I always like that bit as it means you're actively doing something that could genuinely make a difference! Good luck

Metal fucker not here yet. I'm on tenterhooks. Think will give it the rest of today and if it doesn't show up will test in morning.

Keep having to check my knickers!

Ha ha! I'm with you on the knicker check fankle - very slight spotting but nothing appearing on it's own, so to speak . I want to see blood so I can call and put my name down for a scan tomorrow morning!!
POAS this morning to stop the menkul.

So was it bfn Barking? Assume so. Hope it shows so you can get your scan tomorrow and begin iui. Although if it shows later in the day, I think you're supposed to count the following day as Day 1.

Still no sign for me, even after 'rummaging'
Was pretty sure I ov'd on Thursday 17th which was day 18 of my cycle. I have a 14 day LP so expected droid today. Have had no symptoms at all...not even the tiny little ones that you still obsess over. MG was away for a few days during most fertile time so we didn't exactly do a lot of shagging.

Will bet a bottle of gin that the bastard shows tomorrow, meaning my OV was on day 19. Day fucking 19!

Yep, bfn. I'm going to go in for a scan tomorrow anyway. I've been able to rummage for blood for two days now, and my cycles are never consistent so I have no idea what to expect. If I leave it another day the clinic is closed on Sunday . The nurse said if I wasn't sure to go in anyway as they could always ask me to come back. Much better that than missing it, and if I end up getting scanned tomorrow and Monday neither is a work day so it's not putting anyone else out.

Happy bank holiday weekend hags! My weekend away has been cancelled but that's all good as I'm kick starting the IUI instead! even if I do end up going in too early

Oh, and day 19? ^^

Pre mc when my cycles were messed up but predictability so, I used to ov on day 22 then AF would arrive on day 30 or 31.

^^

As far as I'm aware the LP is the bit that counts, and a late Ov is better than an early one, which only fires out immature eggs.

fankle sounds like my cycles a month or two back - I blame the EPO I was taking entirely. I'm back to OV around day 12 now (peak today). Are you on any supplements? Are you still going to POAS tomorrow? I'd offer to cross everything for you but the legs need to remain uncrossed as we have some serious shagging to get done this weekend. I feel tired just thinking about it. God I miss spontaneous sex!!

fab I'm now imagining you in a (weird, no-face way) sparkly gown and tons of fake tan cha-cha-chaing your way to the show!

cherry I understand what you mean about the pot of gold. I wouldn't say me and RAF have put family on hold for career but I do sometimes wonder why we fannied around for so long before getting down to it, but then I remember all the fun we've had. I still think we can be happy just as a twosome but I'm not ready to accept that yet, by a longshot.

cunty, missh how are you two doing? And bugs I'm sure you're still lurking! how's everything in PESH world?