Karma's a load of old shite! The BESH have gone through a fair old heap of bollocks lately so it's time we had some good news!

[Fabuluce]

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

Pars that's exactly why we moved a better (eventually anyway) family home in an excellent school and upbringing etc. oh the irony eh? Still it means that while I'm on not 'officially' working I'm still keeping my nose to the grindstone and doing up the old house (half an hour away) and doing up this one. TWH needs to get back into some paid work though before we can do any of the major works and ivf.

Am thinking something Hags. I've got loads of progesterone fanjo bullets left over from previous ivf rounds and was wondering if there would be any point in taking the slimey bastards whilst I'm in the second half of my cycle to see if that would help my chances of implantation....thoughts?

Sounds like a productive day Fankle, am well impressed with your industry! minus the dickheadness of the phone incident obvs. That goes for you too Pars !

I too should have tried on a lot of bras today and purchased new pants to replace my ancient holey ones and indeed intended to but I got sidetracked by pretty tops etc. and then ran out of time and money. my fav bras are the gorgeous range from Debenhams.

Sorry Fab, no idea on the progesterone bullets but reads like sound reason.

Thanks for all your thoughts on the egg donor stuff so helpful to garner some opinion on this. Such a headfuck. If only I knew what I know now when I was in my 20's I so would have donated. I'm sure that's why there are so few altruistic donors. Still, doesn't pay to dwell on these things.

Morning hags!

I've been convinced by bra interventions since going for a proper fitting aged 18 and being put into a 30 DD. the trick with the back fat is to do the band up, then lean forward and 'encourage' all the flesh you can forward into the cups. Having said this, I currently have very small and saggy boobs

Re egg donation - when we had the first ivf scan and they could only see three follicles, my sister offered straight off the bat. Sadly she is too old to donate. I'm unsure about whether I would go for donation with a known donor. It's related, for me, to the issues I currently have with surrogacy, around the fact that there would always be a third person in our lives. and the fact that I'm a control freak who would want to micromanage their every move cherry I'm glad that you are at the top of your list. I find it slightly unbelievable that there isn't a national egg donor list, and that if you moved clinics you'd have to start again. I too would donate, knowing what I know now.

Good work fab on the domestic front, though sorry the droid turned up. You too, fankle. Did you embroider 'CUNT' on the tea cosy?

Looks like 1 May is the day for clinic action! I live in a town with lots of May Day activity so I will be cheering you on while admiring the various maypoles ahem

AFM I have handed my notice in officially! The big boss was lovely about it. I might try to negotiate an early release as they will put me in isolation and make me work on dull stuff for 3 months otherwise. OTOH it might be nice to have 3 months of less stress! I will be booking a GP appt next week to get all the bloods done, plus ask them about hyperthyroidism in case that's a factor that we have overlooked so far.

Afternoon hags! I'm interested in the bra debate. A few years ago, shopping for a bridesmaid dress, I was put into a 32C by a shop assistant in John Lewis instead of my 34A or 34B. It was a revelation! I threw out all my old bras and bought a few new ones. Now my boobs have shrunk (sob) and the cups gape, but I have no smaller ones to go back to and I don't want to go out and buy new ones as I'll be pg soon and have massive boobs that will stay big after the birth, obviously

First things first; parsley here - I finally decided to NC to rid myself of my MMC inspired user name.

I want a cunt tea cosy!! I already have a similarly offensive mug at work (I particularly enjoy 'accidentally' taking it in to interviews).

fizzy it's official then! When do you start your new job? Perhaps they could put you on gardening leave? Perfect time to get a ironidiff!

Welcome home barking - you must be fucking knackered! Got some pro plus or something lined up for tomorrow? I hope you had an awesome time despite the shitty weather? Highlights?

cherry I am waiting to see what FC say at our next appt in July (so faaaaar). If it involves yet more hanging about, I do intend to visit a few egg sharing private clinics to see what's what. I'd love to be able to help someone else get their wish, although I'd want mine to succeed too obv. The prospect of a teenager/adult rocking up when I'm old and grey is a bit weird, but not offputtingly so.

I have spent a small fortune on boulder holders today, definitely a conspiracy! What am I playing at?!?

I'm completely delirious rain, and still not home! Been on our way home since Friday night UK time and had very little sleep .

Almost welcome home frog - where are you at the moment - which direction did you fly? Allegedly flying West to East is much harder in the body than flying east to west. I'm pretty lucky in that I can normally sleep relatively well on planes (well anything actually - the joy of being the youngest of five means I can pretty much sleep anywhere and through any noise!) which means so long as I'm regimented on when to read/watch movies/do my nails/sleep/listen to soft music I don't suffer much with jet lag thankfully. I remember my first long haul flight when I hadn't sorted my own flying system out and the jet lag was utterly hideous so I sympathise! Hope you've had a fabulous time despite the weather. It's such a stunning country isn't it (under the cloud!) Did you get to do all the exciting shiz?

The egg sharing thing is a difficult one isn't it. I think I'd be ok about it if I had my own babies - not so keen if I didn't - it wouldn't seem fair that part of me was out there with someone else not me. But it would be lovely to think that I'd been able to give someone else some joy. Not sure if I could share an embryo though. I pure sibling might just to be too much of a head fuck.

Had some disappointing news today. Not unexpected but sad nevertheless. My wonderful sister who has had her family and is several years older than me had offered, after discussion with her family, to be a womb surrogate for our embryos if this next round of ivf doesn't implant again. She's always been very healthy and we are very close and it seemed a perfect potential solution for us. Sadly she's been having, out of the blue, for the past few months some terrible periods and so she's just had a hysteroscopy and they removed her endometrium. Excellent news for her as she was in pain and it was dangerous for her but sadly the end of another potential path for us. Sigh.

Fuckity arse wank the metal fucker is killing me today - leave it out womb!!

Home!!!
fab East to West. I just couldn't sleep on the secondary long flight, which is when I should have done to get the timings right. Basically haven't really slept at all since Friday daytime uk time, so it's going to be exhaustion rather than jet lag I think!
Sorry about your sis, it's cruel when you feel like bridges are being burnt around you, leaving fewer options.

Oh bugger how annoying for you - sleeping pills needed tonight to make sure you sleep through. And try try try not to sleep today.... Good luck!!

Christ you all move fast! Trying to keep up!

Cherry - I hope your haircut and retail therapy went well! I've booked my hair doing for next week, can't wait! I love a couple of hours of just relaxing whilst someone else does your hair! Bliss!

Re egg donation, in my younger years I always wanted to do this, never really looked into it though, I would happily have given some away, I may still do if I go down the ivf route and there's a good haul, so long as I had some kept aside for future kids. Watching last weeks OMEM there was a woman on there who did donate in her younger years as she didn't think she'd ever have her own kids and wanted to know there was still a piece of her out there. Years later she needed ivf herself. Just goes to show you never know. I think there would be more donated if you got paid, I don't see why there's not that incentive really

Fab - I am in awe of your renovating! I hate doing any decorating or diy. I'd rather just pay someone! Not that I ever have actually paid someone to do it but I only contribute very half heartedly! BR wouldn't dream of paying anyone to decorate

Fizz - It will happen for you eventually. Its just such a bitch that we all get older. I offered my eggs/womble to my best friend when she got bowel cancer without a second thought (we're very different physically though so doubt egg donation would have worked!) but now I can't seem to hold onto my own I don't think I will be a viable candidate. I'm very sad for this as I really would have done it for her Please do a few spins round the most phallic maypole for me! Any us all! Preferably whilst shouting CUNT and swigging some gin! The fertility gods that be would much appreciate this! Any YAY for new job! I'm whispering inconvenient bfp hopes for you

Barking - Welcome home! Hardcore going straight back to work, I normally need at least a day to be arsed! Be happy with your smaller norks! I wish mine had stayed the 34C of my yoof, I used to go raving with no bra on [shocked] I remember doing the pencil test 10 12 years ago and believeing my boobs would be forever pert If only I could go braless in public now, I was hoping to have kids as an excuse for saggy tits but nope!

Dishes / Bugs and the rest of the BESH/PESH I hope you're all doing ok too!

The further on in this journey I get I seem to have reduced my contributions to just the BESH!? Is that weird? I dropped out of the just shagging thread with my last bfp ( I don't think I ever just shagged ) and have since dropped out of the ttc after mc too. I think it's just because I'm in limbo now

I'd just like to add total proof that symptom spotting is pretty much all in my (your) head! I have had in the last week; headaches, dizziness, sore boobs and I am today, for reasons unknown, very emotional

miss h it's coz the BESH is the only place to be! I'm the same - never been a big poster on other threads, though I considered joining the egg buddies. But no-one's evil or selfish enough quite the same!

Good but emotional day today, telling my team. They were a bit shocked - I've been there so long I was starting to take root - def a good sign I need to move on! Btw, thanks for all the sod's-law-bfp wishes. Pliz stop saying it, though! There is no chance of miracle diffment due to my total lack of tubes, so any bfp we get will be in a strictly planned way. I'm estimating it will take a few months to go through the necessary tests, and then we will have to take stock of the situation and take it from there.

Ay ay ladies!

fizz when's your last day? I've always found leaving a job really awkward once everyone knows, the sooner I could get out the better! (That said all jobs prior to my current amazing one were totally sheeeite)

missh how's life as a footloose and fancy free ttc limbo-er? I know i can't drink it for another 3 weeks but I just ordered some wine with our food shop (yes, I am a lazy lazy bint who can't even be arsed to go the supermarket). In the meantime I am going to eat ice cream and pretend I am not getting fat.

fab sorry to hear about your sister and the associated loss of that option, but lovely that she would have done that for you. I think my sister would have done the same if she wasn't well into her 40s and abroad!

barking I hope you survived today! you have definitely earned some sort of treat this eve, even if it's just bath and bed.

Finally can my ipad please just fucking fuck OFF! It keeps randomly changing words after I've typed them (like, three words later) and randomly swapping commas for exclamation fucking marks like I'm some giddy! teenager! who gets soooooo overexcited!! Arrrgh

Poop Fizz sorry I forgot! Brilliant about the job giving focus on something new and exciting though!

Apologies for the "poop" Very un BESH! I meant to say Cunty Balls

I've got zero symptoms MissH so I must be preggers, right?!
For the first time in 28 months I don't actually want to be as I've got my IUI appointment tomorrow and for some probably irrational reason I'd feel safer getting my bfp that way, as I'm convinced my dodgy hormones/cycles contributed to the mc and having the drugs to control my cycle would give me confidence it might work this time!

fizz when do you leave/start the new job? Will you have a gap in between? I remember skipping down the corridor when I left my first teaching job - hated that school! It's sad when you leave a job you love though. Definitely good to move on before you become one of those people who've worked at the same place longer than the youngest staff have been alive! Although I suppose that works fine for some people .

Guess who's jet lagged?!?!

Cunty balls graciously accepted!

barking good luck for the appt today! Will you do a sneaky POAS beforehand, or do they test you then and there? Never had iui so not sure how the timings work...

I'm on 3 months notice so will start in the new place in July. I have some annual leave to take so hopefully will have a break in between. I think I will be very bored for the next few months - I have to sit away from everyone and do some dull admin, but I'm already enjoying feeling less stressed!

Jealous of Fizzy's soon to be lady-of-leisure lifestyle. Big giant holiday perchance????

Barking- hope you make it through the day and push through your jet lag. Will you let us know how your iui appointment goes? I managed to get my appointment brought forward by several weeks so going on Thursday now. Of course, metal cunt due on Friday but as I have zero symptoms (not even sore boobs) this will be the month. Won't it?

Actually I woke up with cramps this morning so I really do think its on its way. But it's strange not having the sore boobs.

Been reading up on thyroid and checking the results of my tsh tests from last year. It was within range but on low side (result 0.74. Range is 0.27-4.2) which I read could still mean you can have thyroid antibodies if you get a borderline result. I am forever cold and my mum has thyroid issues. Also my prolactin was on the high side of the normal range (result 452. Range is 102-496). These tests were done last march on day 21. I'd simply thought 'oh good they're in normal range'...but having doubts now.

Should I ask my go for more extensive blood tests or what? Or am a being a lunatic? Felt very emotional yesterday- not even a new bra and expensive new make up cheered me up!

Fanks - yes yes yes do ask for more tests - gp's just look to see if the fit within the norm - your results are pretty borderline and it has been noted that even a little low can have an effect on fertility. Push your go for more!!

Good luck frog for today - hope it all goes smoothly. Sprinkles shrimp with gay abandon and skips off to dig out a wall or two.

fizzy I'm a maximum of 7dpo today so no point poas. I had slightly discoloured cm this morning which is usually a sign af is approaching. 8 or 9 dpo is normal for me to start AF so could be here tomorrow or Thursday - I've never wanted it to arrive so badly!!

fankle can you wait until Thursday and go armed with a list of questions? I did that on my last fc appointment, having them all written down (and telling DCW that if I didn't manage to ask any he had to step in) made me feel a lot better and I think the consultant took more notice than the time before.

I almost broke down this morning when they said I might not be able to start next cycle as they were short staffed and didn't have a nurse available to explain the injections to me. After I explained that the following cycle would start while I was on a school residential trip he said he would do his best and came back with a nurse!!!

All systems go as soon as AF shows!

Good luck Barking

Thanks Fab and Barking

Are there specific tests I should ask for? And can I ask my FC for them instead of going to see my gp? These last blood tests were over a year ago so it seems reasonable - nay, sensible- to redo them, right?

Good luck for tomorrow barking!

Hello cunty chums; what's occurring?

I've been lurking for a while, but work has been manic lately.

Barking - are you a teacher? I am, and wondering if that's got something to do with the infertility shit. I think we're pretty similar dpo as well - I'm on day 8 today and my LP is normally around 10-11 days. I've been driving myself mad with symptom spotting this month, and more so because I want all the needle-woo to have worked! Think I'm setting myself up for disappointment.

Glad to hear that you get to start this cycle though !

MissH - I reckon you're right on the symptom spotting being in the head. Every sodding month for the past 2 years I've convinced myself that it'd happened. The one time it did happen I can't remember what felt different though.

Fizz - why do you have to sit apart from everyone else now? The reduction in stress sounds great, but it seems odd to put you in isolation!

I've been following the conversations about bra interventions, but I'm not convinced. How does having a smaller band size reduce back fat? Surely it all just creeps through the gaps? I also noticed with horror this week that I have one boob quite a lot bigger than the other. How have I not noticed this before??