Karma's a load of old shite! The BESH have gone through a fair old heap of bollocks lately so it's time we had some good news!

[Fabuluce]

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

Hmmm I am 21 weeks pregnant and we haven't had sex since we found out I was pregnant!

Have a fabulous lune de miel frog! Your plans sound amazing.

I am so happy to see your news bugs. :)

missh I'm sorry you've had such a rough time of it, but I'm glad the physical recovery hasn't been too bad.

Welcome parsley. I'm a PESH unable to cut the apron strings from this thread, currently diffed after 3 yrs ttc, an mc, 2 rounds of IUI and 4 rounds of IVF. We were "unexplained", which is the most frustrating non-diagnosis possible.

I'm just back from a week's hols (photos on t'other place later). It was lovely but long haul flights with a bump suck (and I have two more shortly, for work this time). It was worth it though, although the week flew by.

bugs we've dtd a grand total of 3 times since diffage. We were about to in the first tri but KFZK got cold feet, and it was a good job in the end as my 3 week bleed started the next day so we would have blamed ourselves if we had gone ahead. And once that had finished, my awful nausea started. So it has only really been in the past few weeks that we have got back in the saddle, and then very infrequently.

I recall telling MSB that Wayne Rooney had scored more times than him during my pregnancy (which was most of the football season)! Morning sickness, work and general fatigue limited us in the first and last trimester.

Sounds like it's time for some mood lighting and sexay choons for a few of you!

Aside from the baybee longing, I also long for the day where I actually miss sex again! It feels like a non stop conveyor belt of shagging here, 2 years in I'm surprised our bits haven't fallen off.

euro as a fellow 'unexplained' (I always get the Twilight Hour theme tune in my head when I write that) with 1 (natural) BFP then MC, your story a) gives me hope and b) scares me shitless. We're not at the stage yet where we seem to qualify for any sort of medical assistance and I am 50% gagging for it and 50% dreading it. Next FC appt is in July, so we shall see...

Parsley, yes- that is 100% me as well. 'Unexplained' after a miscarriage over 2 years ago. Technically classed as secondary infertility on my medical notes, which seems quite unfair as I still don't have baybee #1. The uncertainty of being unexplained is maddening- each month you think you might be in with a chance because there's no reason you can't conceive, right? And each month, tumbleweed.

Although since the discovery of mild endo in my laparoscopy, my FC says I'm now no longer unexplained. So the mild endo is somehow an explanation. I don't buy it. Many many people get diffed with worse endo than me. We are baffled, frustrated, fed up...and exhausted from the shagfest of every single month. I'm surprised we still fancy it at all tbh. It becomes so methodical after 2 years of never 'getting the ball past the goalie' (as MG has referred to it). Oh to long for a shag again!

Bugs, get in there girl. Use that lust factor and jump on yer man! Even with my constant sechsing, I would still probably spontaneously orgasm at a JT gig.

My appointment letter came through yesterday, along with the welfare of the child form. Gulp. Appointment is on 6th June, which still seems ages away. Would so love to get diffed before then but this month already seems to be doomed...cd14 and still no positive opk. And MG is leaving vv early tomorrow for a week-long work trip.

This morning I have made a cooked breakfast, fresh fruit smoothies and home made mint and lime jelly for tonight's pudding (my woo book says jelly is good for 'secretions'; and what with the clomid dryness, I figure some help in the old secretions department can only be a good thing).

Oh and my appointment at the acu has come through- 6 June. So looks like it's iui for us

I know that I should be feeling glad about getting help at last after 2.5 years, but I find it quite sad and disappointing that it hasn't happened naturally ..or even on clomid.

If this month is doomed then I only have May left for a natural diff! But I've lost all faith that my body is capable of it tbh.

How woo can it get Fankle, jelly to help your secretions, that's amazing and probably something I would do too I hear you on the unexplained but on the other hand at least you have a chance and a little hope goes a long way to keep you in the game.

Our sechsing has dropped off considerably in the last year but that's probably due to all the other shit going on.

Anyone else getting the durex advert continually on their faceache feed just now? I know we live in a big brother society but this is ridiculous...

TBH, it's nice not to have to dtd unless we really want to, after 3 years of doing it whether we were in the mood or not!

Hags, I am outraged! Just meandered into the utility room where MrP is finishing up painting the door to discover he is cleaning the brushes with GIN because "we've run out of white spirit".
Ok it's only sainsburys value gin that we used to make Sloe Gin but still, the principle! I suppose it is sort of fitting considering we live in Gin & Jags Surrey but nevertheless, poor gin, I shall toast its memory.

Wha??? You say what??? He actually used actual gin to strip actual paint? Did he out lime in with it too? That's a criminal offence surely. I think the law needs to be laid down BESH style.

I know! Tiny bit of me is now a little scared if what it does to your insides if it has that kind of power! I stole his RayBans today as punishment. Ha! Have fun squinting into the sunshine, sunshine!

Seriously Parsley? He used gin on the paintbrushes?! Does he use Prosecco as mouthwash 'n all? You soverners!

Who made the key lime pie at the weekend? Was it you Fab? My 'secretion' jelly was bloody lovely - a bit like mojito...sans rum though. Not sure it's helped my arid foof though. Not that it bloody well matters anyway...still no positive opk and MG has now departed for a week. Managed a quickie this morning at 5am but I wont see him until Friday afternoon (at my Mum's, of all the places to try and entice the boy to the boudoir in broad daylight

If anything the fecking opk lines are getting lighter! I'm on day 15 FFS! Where is my LH surge?!

Grrrr

Yep, and he only washes with Evian!

Not sure how I feel about the words 'secretions' and 'jelly' being used in the same sentence

The herbalist lady I've been working with recommended Green Tea for increased CM. I guess hydrating of any type helps - have you tried guaifenesin?

Feeling decidedly un-optimistic here.

How is everyone else? Nice weekends?

Hello ladies; Please may I join you? I've lurked here for a while as this is the only conception thread that doesn't make be want to boak! Completed BESHtionnaire below:

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes') - Obviously yes! I love a nice G&T, though have yet to try any sort of garnish.

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar? - Not quite a gold digger - Mr Chops is older than me but not exactly minted.

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo - definitely the preferred hole!
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway. - Yes.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings. - I can already feel the bile rising...

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil. - I know it to be both, thus revealing my inner geek to the world. I prefer to call it 'RAG week.'

6. Number of pets? - 1 dog.

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame? - Far too many! Alan Rickman is a pretty sure bet though. It's the voice...

8. Lesbian crush? Tilda Swinton. Is that wrong?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid - Yup.
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above - Though option b sends me into a rage. I loathe saccharine sentiments and lazy English.

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year - This one.
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

Full details: TTC for 2 years, diagnosed with unexplained infertility and told by the FC to bugger off and keep trying for another year before they'll consider treatment of any sort. One chemical pregnancy last year, which I guess is hopeful if not frustrating.

What do you think? Can I join?

Chops

Thanks Bugs, and congratulations on your diffed state!

I forgot to mention my age; I'm 31 as well. Everyone keeps saying that I'm too young to be worrying about fertility and that "it'll happen when it happens." Easier said than done after 2 years of naff all happening, and especially when some of the people I went to school with are on their 3rd or 4th child. Bloody Facebook

Also, what's with all the seafood/fish references?

Welcome Cunty! Vehry naice name! I would have gone even more mental without the harsh reality luffly words from the BESH!

MissHobart, 33 ttc#115 months, 3 x mc, awaiting the rmc clinic fertility gods to asses my barren womb

Tilda Swinton?! I'm much more mainstream in my lesbian crushes which seem to be made up of people I want to be rather than want to bed Though I admire the fact that she is wonderfully principled and doesn't give a shit! Ie; she doesn't wear make-up!

Frog - I hope you're on holidays drinking LOTS of gin, I cannot wait for our holiday in June! I also hope that you have stepped away from all ttc bollocks, have fun on you're break from everything except each other and lovely scenery ete. There is so much more to the world than ttc for your 2/3 weeks holiday

Fab - Justin? Really?! Not my cup of tea gin I'm afraid.

Parsley - MAke MrP STEP AWAY FROM THE GIN Even cheap gin is still gin!

Bugs - I hope you got a shag in! If so was it terrifying?! We have not done it since the weekend before the bfp.

Fankle - Why are you secondary infertile if no baybee yet? I have all the joys of FC to come

Sorry for not having a more detailed update for everyone, I'll try and keep up.

So, I'm ok and I'm not ok, in-laws came up for a few days and I told them what had happened, they are very sad for me/us, was a bit difficult having them here but was ok. I have done gardening and it's looking lovely, but I am sunburnt as I was determined to get some natural VitD I glowed neon pink when we went out for dinner, not a good look for a 33 year old who should know better. I'm now awaiting the peel which I have not experienced for over 11 years

I told my instadiffer friend (due in June) by text and she sent flowers, I cried. This last mc has upped by & bile levels back to maximum which I know is not fair on her. Whenever I picture her in my head I want to cry and be mean, she has everything I want but not really I know that so I'm finiding it hard to not picture every moment of her life from now on and how with my barren womb it will never be me However my mental issues are exactly that, mine, so I will meet her this week and get over that first step.

My other friend has been wonderful, lots of texts, especially as her ivf win is currently in hospital I'm not going to put details here so we have been texting support to each other, but I can't visit yet as there is a d&v bug going round the ward

The doctor gave me extra time off work if I want it but it's easter weekend and I'm not missing out on 2 bank holidays workings! I went in the other night to catch up with my team and do you know what? The world keeps turning, even when you step off so there's no point in me hiding away any longer, it is not going to change the situation to where I am suddenly actually pregnant again So come friday I will again be in the company of instadiffer team mate who informed us all of her diffment by practically waving a wet piss stick under our noses at 10DPO probably. Meh.

So 2 baybee's in June, thank fuck I'll be on holiday.

GP has put me on the mini-pill as I'm not allowed to get diffed before rmc clinic tests, this is progesterone only, but what if my problem is not enough progesterone? I have been looking up instances of people getting diffed whilst on it Must stop that now.

SO thanks for reading this stream of conciousness! It feels a bit better to get some of the thoughts out really especially as I don't see my therapist till next week

ttc#1 - 15 months! not ttc#115

Hi hags! Just dropping in quickly from NZ to say I had a lovely chat with pg mate who we're staying with tonight (they moved here last year). She was ttc for 3.5 years and also had a mc. With low amh and failed ivf they suddenly got pg naturally just before starting a private ivf cycle with donor eggs . There's still hope for us all!
She also made me feel a lot better about the IUI when I get back (they had the same consultant and clinic we're under and found them really helpful and supportive).

Hi cunty, welcome .

I have yet to name my DH appropriately. Can you tell me what yours are, as it were?

BR - Big Robot - He is tall and can carry lots!

TWH - Toasty the Wonder Husb

Welcome Cunty - great name choice - grab a twat cushion and snuggle in. I don't know how the fish references started - could any older BESH/PESH/CRESH shine a light on the origins?
All I can say about the key lime pie is that it was delish! It really is hard to get it wrong though easiest recipe going plus as we still don't have a working oven/hob it doesn't involve much other than melting some butter! I can't seem to link to the recipe at the mo so if you want it, look up carnation key lime pie. Simps!