Karma's a load of old shite! The BESH have gone through a fair old heap of bollocks lately so it's time we had some good news!

[Fabuluce]

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

Sounds very similar to us!! If you can, do try and get a swim with the dolphins in kaikoura which is fabulous and if you like skydiving then try a bungy jump at taupo too black water rafting at waitomo is wonderful and super cool as is the white water rafting at river valley near Taihape. Fun fun fun - I'm well jell!

Just aaaarghh! today. Guilt is such a fucking useless emotion. My poor horse saw a new dentist today and she says he's really sore. I feel so bad. I got home late from making sure he was OK tonight and now ROCH is hacked off cause he cooked tea and I wasn't there. And then in the interim a good mate has taken something the wrong way. All the guilt.

Drinking beautiful red Argentinian Malbec though which is making up for it some. But argh.

Aaaarrrrggghh cherry go easy on yourself. None of those things are your fault. I hear you on the animal guilt - but you weren't to know. And - cynicism alert - a guilty feeling new client might be likely to pay for more treatment, so there's a chance s/he might have been laying it on a bit thick...

barking that honeymoon sounds great! Hope you have a fab time. And great news about the iui appt. Time to get going with the medical big guns.

bugs still holding on to your ear lobe for tomorrow.

Our lovely holiday is nearly at an end but I'm looking forward to being reunited with the cats! Am fully expecting them to be a bit sulky for a good few days though....

OK, feeling slightly better now I'm at the bottom of my wine glass to see out from my own problems. Apologies for the self absorption hags.

Love that the teacup came with the gin MissH. Classy!

Good to hear from ya Fizz hope the hols was good? Your honeymoon sounds amazing barking, you got it all lined up nicely with the FC apt sorted too. Onwards my friend.

Thinking of you bugs and chuckling away at the cats ass reference. Hoping the buglet is on best behaviour tomorrow and you get a good clear heartbeat from the little bean.

Parsley I saw a nutritionist who prescribed a hardcore no wheat, gluten, dairy, caffeine, alcofrol, refined carbs, potatoes, etc etc. diet. There was lots I had to eat in different percentages too. I was horrified at first but it was actually amazing- put me back on my feet after a total endocrine crash, reinstated sleep, energy, lowered anxiety. I felt like a new person.

I stuck to it religiously for about 5 months, I'm much less strict now but broadly follow the same principles - I just let myself fall off the wagon a bit is all which is fine within reason.

Fab not another off to far exciting climes. Well jel of you all! We are hoping to sort out our house once and for all this year though even if we don't manage to jet off anywhere exciting. If we ever manage to get diffed a kitchen and bathroom is probably more important than a nice holiday.

cherry I remember you saying about that diet and I couldn't work out what you would actually be able to eat . I doff my cap to you for following that, I'm only managing to cut out wheat by allowing myself to cheat on a Sunday (quarter of a naan bread with takeaway curry ).

I couldn't have planned the timing of the IUI better. I'm trying not to get too over excited, but I'm on AF now and it will be due next about three days following the appointment - if we could get started that cycle it would be amazing and cushion the blow if we didn't manage a last minute honeymoon diff to make us look like total instadiffers.
It also fits beautifully with not messing up work more than necessary and being pg by my birthday because obviously it will work first time.

I've already been told not to get excited/get my hopes up - by he who sent that bloody link to 'stress stops you getting pg' so I pointed out that a positive frame of mind was very important and he should stop with the useless advice (I managed to put it with a little more tact).

Horse and stable door and bolted spring to mind though. I was so excited I couldn't even eat my dinner! I've even started filling in my 'welfare of the child' form . If only it was legal to sterilise every woman aged 14 and then reverse the process just for those that could satisfactorily pass the welfare of the child test....

I think it's called 'a little desperation goes a long way' barking! And then before you know it you realise it's not half so bad, it DOES make you feel more like a human being and contrary to popular belief you haven't starved to death.

With all the hoo ha on 5 a day becoming 7 a day last week I counted up and reckon its a rare day I don't eat 10 portions of the stuff. Health freeeek! I'm a Vegaholic me. Contrary to popular belief it's meat and most specifically lamb not veg that makes me trumpy

Well done on the PMA. I'm not sure I could have reserved as much tact as you for my response but it truly IS both exciting news and awesome timing.

And 'welfare of the child' does truly suck.

It's not enough that we are barren, we also must be child molestors too.

How the fuck do you spell that then? My predictive wants to make moles toes out of 'em. Sounds like suitable punishment to me.

OK in a moment I will stop cluster posting drivel and go to bed.

Good to see you've perked up Cherry after your guilty day - I tried to post before but our FUCKING INTERNET ISNT SORTED OUT YET AND I COULDNT GET A PROPER SIGNAL but really I'm ok to talk about it really .....breathe....

I'm not going away Cherry does reliving a time when we did!! I so wish we had a holiday planned but this whole bollix of digging has made it very hard to know what to do and when/where to go along with the fact that we have to factor in jobs/house move and renovation etc. humph.

• diffing not digging. FFS.

'Moles toes' made me laugh, cherry. Glad you're feeling better.

bugs, got a firm grip on your little toe for today

Soz about that Fab, oh of course, you are another poor soul stuck in house renovation hell excitement.

Toe hug bugs!

COME ON BUGLET!!!!

It's frickin FRIDAY people! Bloody hurrah I plan to have a relaxing weekend at home, shagging MG as much as possible before he has to leave for a work trip on Monday morning (typical that I'm due to ov on tues..but pre-ov shagging will have to be enough. Not that it will work anyway. Might also do some gardening, walking and gym classes (I put on a couple of pounds last month with all the birthday cakes and meals out, and it hasn't shifted). So I'm going to try to focus on getting back in shape and eating better.

Frog, your honeymoon in NZ sounds shamazeballs! I did a similar trip round NZ 10 years ago as part of my round the world backpacking adventure. Soo beautiful! I did a skydive at Taupo and it was the most fabulous, thrilling experience ever.

Oh and yay for the iui appointment and optimal timing! Hoping for that myself....just waiting on the appointment letter coming through

Ta fankle I can't wait! (for either!)

'tis 11:01. .

Hurrah for Buglet!

Bloody marvellous news

Great news Bugs!

WOOOHOO! huzzah for buglet!

About time we had some good news round here!