Karma's a load of old shite! The BESH have gone through a fair old heap of bollocks lately so it's time we had some good news!

[Fabuluce]

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

Can someone link me to that thread please?

deluded

Oh man alive, give me strength and some punctuation well said that bugs, you expressed succinctly just what we were all thinking.

Dishy that's yer inspiration right there. After you've recovered from today's onslaught.

Glad to hear you've got some time off work to get your shit in order MissH. This stuff cuts deep, you need to be good to yourself.

Oh to be 20 again... I certainly wasn't thinking about kids at that age, I was gallivanting around Canada on a uni exchange having the time of my life.

Christ on a bike - if 30's old then I must be dead by now!! Wow, the OP really didn't get it did she! And the more she typed the more I wanted to box her about the ears. Well done Bugs, well done Miss for backing her up and well done stranger for typing a nice long blurb and about Bugs being wonderful :)

Miss - be kind to yourself lovely please.

Bugs - from the sounds of it, your pregnancy seems to have been progressing beautifully so far. I shall hold on to your toe as always and send positive vibes to the Buglet but I think it's a done deal for Friday. You'll see your baby :) That said please don't think I'm dismissing your thoughts - I can completely empathise, as we all do. There's none of the j0y and excitement about the scans - just nerves and fear. It's not fair is it. Showering you with cockles of calm and flinging the turbot of tranquility your way for extra support.

I'm fed up with having no wifi :( TWH is in charge of getting us a new broadband/tv/phone deal and so here we are still without it. I almost got us a sky deal 2 weeks ago but he couldn't make a decision. Sigh. I just want to get wifi that works properly and the tv channels I like - is it so much to ask?

We've spent the day being Auntie and Uncle to our four year old nephew who really is scrumptious. We got to do fun stuff like jumping on beds, having a very long tickle fight, playing marbles and sipping on babyccinos. He also got to 'help' us build our bed, play with drills, test sofas and generally live the life of riley. It really touched my heart when he held up his hand for TWH to hold and I got some lovely pics of the two of them together. It is utterly gutting that I can't give him the opportunity to be the wonderful Dad that he could be. Sigh.

In other news - we have our bedroom done - yippee! All woodwork stripped and repainted, all walls sanded/stripped and repainted, furniture in and curtains up. It feels so good to back in a proper bed again :)

And what was I doing at 20? Not sure, when I was working in the City I was busy being drunk and naughty with boys mostly!

Is anyone else having problems with hotmail??

Ooh good work Fab. Right, I'm dragging my sorry, ancient ass to bed.

Most brilliant song lyric ever heard tonight 'what's it going to be, love or gin?' Ah those deep questions of life. Room for both I feel.

Are there any other parts of the anatomy available for holding? Feet give me the creeps, big time.

I'll take a knee bugs. I'm sure Friday seems ages away, but think how far away it must have felt all those weeks ago when you got the bfp! You're nearly there!

fab I get the same. Sometimes I wish he wasn't so good with kids so I wouldn't feel so wretched about not having managed to give him one of his own yet.

I just had a gluten free cereal bar. It tasted like bird feed with a thin layer of chocolate trying to hide it. I keep meaning to make Nigella Lawson's gluten free chocolate orange cake but who has time to boil an orange for 2 hours for fucks sake?

In other news I accidentally went on fb. A friend from uni is pg with her THIRD and is merrily laughing about how she didn't stop drinking during any of her pregnancies. Bloody marvellous.

Anyway, back to work. Easily distracted today and working from home isn't helping....

Goodness me Hags - good to see the feistyness is out in full force. I can't believe the insensitivity, lack of understanding or empathy and general delusional attitude of that 20 year old. And the punctuation. Or should I say total lack of punctuation? Don't even get me started on that. I immediately form a low opinion of anyone who writes like that. Definitely good instagoyle mode.

When I was 20 I was living in France, teaching English to youngsters I lovingly called "the little shits", changing my mind about a career in teaching and developing a taste for red wine, eurodance and Gauloises.

I'm under a cloud today. Sometimes it's hard to shift a bout of the blues...I can usually force myself out of it but sometimes I have no choice but to hide and wallow. I'm not quite hiding under the duvet today but I do feel a bit shit. I don't really have any reason for it...other than the usual woes of not knowing why I can't seem to get diffed and the fear that it will never happen; that there must be something dreadfully wrong with me; that my eggs are old and my uterus is barren, blah blah blah. Oh and the envy. I hate myself for being so bloody jealous of my friends and bitter when I think how alone and left behind I feel. I am normally a nice person but this is turning me into a grumpy frumpy horrid bitch.

Sorry. Just had to let it out. Been working from home today and haven't really spoken to anyone. I guess I am not alone in the self pity

Can anyone advise me on vitamins/supplements? I'm taking folic acid every day and have also started taking a cod liver oil supplement which contains vitamin A & D, Iron supplement with vitamin B & C. Is this overkill? I think I read somewhere on MN to avoid Vitamin A when ttc...is this true? I occasionally take EPO in first half of cycle when I remember
Have thought about trying to go GF but it seems like it must be reeeeallly tough. I have no willpower. I like bread, crisps and pizza. What's the deal with that? Why is gluten bad for ttc?

I had woo needles yesterday and cried a bit when I told her about MG's Dad...she was lufly. She recommended I look into hypnotherapy to help deal with my emotions. Has anyone tried and tested?

instagoyle MODEL!

Thanks Bugs. I didn't realise you could get so many 'normal' gf foods. I don't have tummy troubles as such but keep reading that gluten is the source of all evil (in the land of endometriosis anyway).

Have an arm punch and a bucket of mussels for Friday. I am sure the scan will be fine and you'll be a now to stop menkulling (for a bit).

FUCK! I have just had a wobble at my yoga/meditation class. It's a really small class at the instructor's home and it's focused more on relaxation and meditation (so useful for my struggles, about which I've spoken to the instructor.

I turned up a bit late and was told the regular instructor isn't well so someone else was covering for her.

Now I know that she offers a variety of different yoga classes including antenatal classes, but I never attend those classes.

Well the cover teacher must've been about 6 months pregnant! I basically walked into the class -late- took one look at her and though 'no no no I am not doing this'. I felt all nervous and shaky so I said to her 'I'm just going to give it a miss tonight' and left...which must have been so weird to her and everyone else in the class (about 6 or 7 people). I just had to get out. I am now all shaky and upset. I don't want to take a yoga class from a radiant pregnant woman!

I am mentally unhinged!

. I can't fathom the nerves you must have but like barking says, you've already come so far and when Friday's here and you see buglet jumping all over the shop who knows, you might even start to feel less cray-cray! When I get pg again (see what I did there hags? How's that for PMA?) I am probably going to need to go in to hibernation to get through the first 12 weeks.

Fankle if you are then so am I, I would've done the exact same thing. I doubt anyone will ask but if they do just say you had the shits. Always shuts people up pretty quick!
I've managed nearly 2 weeks of avoiding self pity, usually ties in exactly with imminent arriving of the droid and ends as soon as it fucks off.

Vit A is supposed to be bad for embryo development so I'd def avoid that. Not really qualified to advise you on anything else but when I got diffed last year I was intermittently taking folic acid and the month of the BFP also 800mg agnus castus for first half of cycle. Post MC I self medicated 1600mg agnus castus (in for a penny...), Pregnacare conception and 1000mg EPO. Periods arrived like clockwork every 31 days. I then consulted a natural therapist ( same one as barking) who told me to ditch EPO, halve my agnus castus and add in CoQ10, 50mg magnesium and 35mg B6. Cycle now likely to be much shorter as I OV'ed on CD10!
Am thinking I might ditch everything bar the Pregnacare, not sure fucking about with my cycle is such a good idea!

barking if you're up for some cooking try googling some of LEONs GF sweet recipes. Ah-mazing!

Thanks parsley, seriously lol here! Yes I can just imagine that shutting up anyone who dared to ask. Bit would I be able to actually say that? With a straight face? Id like to think so but that remains to be seen. I poured myself a large (ish) glass of wine. Don't suppose wine is GF?

Oh I love LEON! Have been lusting over the book for ages.

And how utterly mind boggling about all the vitamin/ supplement advice. Confusing as fuck really.

fankle what a nightmare. The very place you go to relax, and there's a differ there! I did the same a few weeks ago - went for a swim and before I even got to the changing room had to walk out because of all the smug families. The girl on the desk thought I was nuts. Have a big wallop from this plaice of peace.

I have re-toxed after last cycle in style this week. Things I have eaten include
Gin
Wine
Gin
Dougnuts
Hot cross buns
Wine
Chips
Nutella on toast
Gin

The only vitamins I have been taking are the vitamins L, A, R and D. I can hear poor old Zita West's screams from here. Fuck it.

On a serious note, I normally take an all in one conception multi vit, plus have been taking extra vitamin d on the sly. I took co-q 10 and royal jelly in the run up to egg collection but have no idea if they are any good or just make you have expensive piss. GFBW is of the opinion that anything alternative is a waste of time and that if things were effective, the clinic would recommend them. But then he hasn't spent 20,000 hours googling stuff.

bugs here is a cod of calm for you. I'll be rooting for you and buglet on Friday.

Arf arf! Excellent work Fizz!
I would totally renege on a swim if I spotted a bump or a baby in the changing room. Was there not a steam room or sauna you could retreat to instead? Not that my council pool has the luxury of such things, but it's always a nice treat to get all hot and sweaty in the company of strangers (adult, non-diffed strangers) for no particular reason.

Might have another glass of wine....and really should make some dinner!

fankle I'm sure wine is totally gluten free. actually I googled it and it might not be, but it would be a tiny, tiny, tiny amount and you definitely wouldn't ever notice Mmmm, wine... I'll just be a minute.....

And if you're mentally unhinged then so am I. Not in a million years would I stick around to stare at a pg yoga instructor, nothankyouverymuch. And, because I'm blunt and overly honest, if asked I would tell them exactly what the problem was .

I'm trying wheat free to 'balance my hormones'. I've read a lot about cycles changing after going wheat free. After only two weeks without wheat I didn't get any spotting this cycle, and I'm having a proper AF (complete with nasty cramps) which I haven't had for ages. Don't know if it's the wheat free, the 1000mg of Vit C + 1000mg of Vit B6, or the accupuncture and chinese herbs continuing to slowly adjust things but as I don't know what worked I'll have to keep it all up . An LP longer than 9 days is my goal.....

parsley have you tried emailing her to ask what would be best? I emailed her (whilst not quite sure if I should be doing so or whether it was a bit cheeky) and got a lovely reply.

Bugs might treat myself to a mixed box of those Nakd bars ready for work when I'm back off holiday, ta for the recommendation. I didn't realise some crisps weren't gluten free, will have to start checking more carefully...

I was supposed to be getting loads of work done tonight so I could skive off a little early on Friday and starting packing for HOLIDAYS!!!! But I'm on MN and I can hear wine calling. It would be rude to ignore it I feel.