Karma's a load of old shite! The BESH have gone through a fair old heap of bollocks lately so it's time we had some good news!

[Fabuluce]

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

You're not broken Bugs! One foot in front of the other, look how far you've come already!

missh I'm glad you got through it ok and that you've now got some concrete steps towards figuring it all out and getting your sticky bean. I was also accosted by the TABLET thing when I went back for 2nd EPU scan to confirm MC 'complete' but they didn't want to do the bloods on the day so said they'd call to arrange an appt - never heard from them!
I can imagine there must be a sort of relief in knowing that what happens next is now out of your hands and the bonus of being able to enjoy normal life for a bit

bugs like missh says! Your appetite will hopefully be back soon, have you spoken to GP about sleep trouble?

Yo hags, sorry, missing in action this weekend what with hosting the parentals. [hmmm] nuff said. reporting for duty.

Check you lot out on your grammatically correct cooking, gardening and generally being domestic goddesses chat. I only know I'm in the right fred because of the gargoyle on the door, liberal sprinklings of gin and fish and some tatty cunt bunting trailing in the breeze. Loving your forays. Not that I venture far from the BESH, it's too vom inducing.

MissH you're being amazing. A million hunz could learn a thing or 20 from your attitude.
Countdown is on 'till Friday bugs, hang in there.

Well apparently last week wasn't the week we'd find our donor. Or get any specialist help on the old HRT front. So. Still waiting.

My man has unthinkingly just sent me a link to this:
^ Does stress cause infertility?

It has been observed that women who have struggled with infertility often only manage to conceive when they have given up trying, and stopped worrying about it. Now researchers have, for the first time, established a clear link between stress and fertility problems, reports The Daily Telegraph. By testing women who were trying to start a family for stress hormones in their saliva, the team, from the Eunice Kennedy Shriver Institute in the US, were able to show that those with the highest stress levels were half as likely to conceive within 12 months as the women with the lowest levels. The researchers say that although stress may not have been the only factor in this, their findings show that it is â??potentially clinically meaningfulâ??.^

Great, so not only can I not get pg, it's my fault now? Maybe the stressed sample had higher levels of stress hormone because their body was under stress, ie having dodgy hormones?! The biggest stresshead I know got pg on clomid after almost 2 years of ttc. She certainly hadn't stopped trying and she definitely didn't relax because she thought the clomid would work, she was stressing down the phone to me the week before her bfp.....

And Mr Frog still has all his limbs intact this morning Barking? I hope he has now been suitably educated! How unreasonable for us to remove all stress, shall we all go live in a hippy commune and stress about the Daisy crop, world peace and whether we can get big enough flares on the open market these days

Oh bugs what you're feeling is totally normal and obviously magnified with everything that's gone on. Cockles of comfort for you this week until Friday. Try to take each day as it comes and enjoy the little things.

So glad to wake up this morning to bright sunshine instead of rain!

'Sup hags. I'm still lurking I will never really leave!

MissH I'm so sorry about your MC. It's truly crap. I hope you can find fun things to do for the next few months while you take a break.

frog hello, not sure we've met? I'm Faith, a visiting CRESH. I'd just like to say that's b*llocks and I don't usually swear If TTC and lurking in these parts has taught me anything, it's that if it's taken over a year chances are there's something that causing it. Unless you're so stressed you're not ovulating its unlikely to be your fault. I've never been more stressed than I was when I got diffed. Marriage was falling apart, we'd had a big house fire. However they'd identified the (reversible) fertility issue and I got diffed. We got the house sorted and had some counselling.

Hags Faithlet is one on Monday! How did that happen?!

I hate it when people give me plants as presents. It's like Thanks for that, I'm sure I'll kill it in no time

Wow, I've just read "ttc and Clomid advice please :)" , just wow, is she on drugs? I've never heard of someone so deluded, I feel very stabby.

Went to work this morning, promptly burst into tears, been signed off with some valium for a week by the locum, seeing my GP on Thursday. I'm still ok about the practical side of things, just my head that's wrong.

Ahh MissH - you baited me into looking. What a fucking idiot. Of course, she'll probably be diffed in another month and then prattle on indefinitely about how fucking hard it was.

Bugs what's going on at work? Hope you're keeping the menkul at bay today.

cherry and bugs I'm so glad you said that because I didn't handle it well this morning and it errupted into an argument (which is rare for us). He said he was just trying to help. I didn't see how sending me an article saying that stressed women struggle to conceive was helpful so he said he wouldn't bother next time. I won't bore you with the following exchange of views, but I've been emotional about it all day . Doesn't help that I would have been leaving on maternity this week, due date is approaching, AF is here, and his best mate is now overdue so I'm on edge waiting for the joyous birth announcement. It's all just too much right now .

^^

missh I'm going to try to resist that thread! Make sure you stay off work as long as you need. I went back too early (was still in nighttime sanitary pads for the bleeding as well as being all over the place headwise) and then had to take a few more days (which then counted as two absences on my record. Gr). I can't even imagine how mich more of a head fuck it would be for it to be the third time, give yourself a break. And valium .

much not mich

@ Bugs - you're so much braver than me! I really wanted to wade in but I don't think anything would cross into her tiny mind! Also I am a massive wuss and would probably cry!

Wotcha hags, that poster is, er, "interesting"

Hmm, maybe I should PM her and see if she'll model for the Instagoyle. Something tells me she'd be perfect.

20. 20. Just trying to remember what I was doing at 20 - oh yeah, drinking my own bodyweight in beer, experimenting with smoking and sleeping with an American boy who sang in a rock band.Of course, it's hard to remember because I am in my 30s now. Sorry, mean: old.

Just got back from my first full day's work in ages: fuck me it's tiring!

missH, glad you're all clear now. The after-ripples of an MC take so long to hit, it's a bastard. One day you think you're OK, then you're really not. Take care

frog, I would have wigged out too.

When I was 20 I was thanking medical science for the invention of Depo Provera, raving twice a week in furry boots and hot pants and getting into inappropriate situations with DJ's! Christ knows how I pulled a degree out of my Arse! To memories are kind of fuzzy but I don't think that's due to me being so old now!

Ok, so I buckled. Wow. At 20 I was at uni, spending the long summer holiday in Africa and trying to decide between a career in law or one in teaching while pitying my mate from home who already had one kid and then got herself pg with twins, tying her to her twat of a boyfriend for life....

I just can't stop laughing - periods have nothing to do with ovulation. BFNs on opks. Everything's too 'stressful' after 3 fucking months. FFS.