Karma's a load of old shite! The BESH have gone through a fair old heap of bollocks lately so it's time we had some good news!

[Fabuluce]

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

Welcome parsley - I reckon you're in.

I've just realised I'm the most long standing BESH on the Fred (who's not diffed). Jeez.

Welcome Parsley or should be call you the Garnish Trollope

Sorry to hear you've been tormented by the evil that is unexplained infertility.

Fizz I hear you. I feel the same in RL and stopped posting in the egg buddies fred as a, I'm out of the ivf loop at the mo and b, all those positives and now baybees for the lovely egg buddies who I first posted with and there's me still failing. Shall we hold hands and get there together?

Have got my car keys back from my evil car. Took the key bloke 30 seconds to pick the bloody lock. Next on my list after my plumbing course is lock picking. £95 for 30 seconds work is astounding.

cherry squillionaire hags sounds great to me . I had a lottery win last week but I don't think £25 counts as a big win..

Thanks to all for sharing about your mc/edd experiences. I think hope I'll be like you, euro, as soon as I pass the edd I'll stop picturing and tracking the bump but I won't start tracking the baby that would be... I'm also hoping that I can deal with the baby of close friend (due any day now) a lot better than I failed to cope coped with seeing her bump that mine should have matched.

Waiting to have pins stuck in me. Oh for the days when I thought just a quick shag could get you preggers .

Hi parsley

fiz and fab me too. I started posting on mn over a year ago. Most of the women I started posting with are pg, and the babies have started appearing as well .

Thanks for the seal of approval hags!

fab by all means. I might even change my username - Parsley has no special significance to me, the opposite in fact. I picked the name the morning my MMC was discovered when I wanted to join MN to ask for some MC advice. There was a pot of Parsley on the patio, so that was that. Are you also an Unexplained?

Cunt makes an almost daily appearance in my life (the word that is, and albeit mainly in my head, not done to yell it at work really). Today is an exception as I'm working from home and there's no-one here to get on my tits.

Afternoon Hags... old and new. If we weren't on the BESH thread we'd be puking up in the land of babydust every 5 minutes. Can't be doing with all that 'hon' 'hunni' nonsense! Grrr!

Fizzy dare I ask how long you've been on here?

Fab hurrah for finding your keys!

Fanks Cherry, yes I will have a squillion pounds lottery win please The karma's gotta turn some time...

Tree I've felt some amount of relief when friends have give birth and I no longer need to fret about their bumps. A good friend (instadiffer) of mine told me in Jan that she's expecting in July. Guess what...still haven't met up with her, despite both our birthdays passing in between. I thought it might be easier to see her when her bump was small, but it will be getting bigger now so I'm going to either have to keep avoiding her or DEAL WITH IT. Avoiding her is quite easy though as she always backs out of plans at the last minute...so I don't think it's that obvious to her.

Parsley hello and welcome I work from home frequently and it is a safe place to shout CUNT as often as you wish. I recommend it.

I decided to take clomid this month. Today will be my fourth pill. Haven't noticed any of the side effects I had on it before the laparoscopy. Of course that doesn't mean a thing but it wont stop me from thinking it's a sign that it might just work this time

fankle the acupuncturist told me today my pulse was good and if I hadn't started AF by next week to POAS. For only the second time in over two years (first time he'd had a little op on his sausage and had to wait until the stitches were out...) we didn't ttc this month as I'm doing a skydive in a couple of weeks and wanted to know I wasn't pg. I still thought 'Ooo, maybe'. WTF?! I'd have a job explaining it if I was!!!!

Welcome to the BESH Parsley, sounds like you'll fit right in. Hmmm, Alexander Armstrong I kinda get that. Pointless has become a guilty pleasure. Whatever, have a gin!

Fizz there was I thinking I'd become the oldest undiffed BESH on the block
You're it

Sausage. Snigger.

What a pain tho Tree. Too bloody typical though. It's a special type of madness when you think about testing even when you know it's impossible or you may have the little baybee jeebus in your tum tum. I think we've all been there!

Morning Swarthy Hags! I am in need.

Brown spotting stopped on Thursday so I dared to hope with everything crossed for early scan on Monday. Nope, not to be for MissHobart, woke up bleeding, horrible horrible proper red bleeding with clots, just like before, I've hit magic number 3

Do I keep my early scan appointment? They can check it's all gone yes? Or should I call and cancel? Do they scan miscarriages in the same place as the duffed or would I be seen elsewhere? Might call them.

So I will be here indefinitely, BR doesn't want me to get pregnant again now that we've (I've) lost three in a row

I hope everyone else's when's starts and ends better than mine, was going bet the grand national today as my luck was looking up, not sure I can face the highly likely disappointment of the house I bet on dying now

*everyone else's weekend's.

Oh Miss I'm so sorry to hear this news. I've only had a missed miscarriage and so definitely had to have scans - they take place in the same place as all the pregnant women though so be warned. I don't know what the deal is for those in the middle of it I'm gutted for you.

I am oop norf! But in Leeds so not far from EPU at st James, waiting for BR to get up to ask him what to do (not that he'll actually provide an answer! Just tell me to do what I think is best )

Oh MissH so sorry to hear this
There's nothing to say, it's just shit and I'm sad for you x.

Oh MissH I'm so sorry, there are no words . I had a second early scan already booked at the epu (early scan at 7 weeks showed a 6 week sized blob but no heartbeat, so I was booked in for another a week later). I'd bled loads by the time I got there and they showed me the empty sac, which I passed later. It was all in the same place. They did at least let us wait in a side room after they had confirmed it was all over.

Hope you can make yourself as comfortable as possible during the horridness .

Spoke to EPU, they say wait till scan on Monday unless I start feeling ill in which case go to a&e. I have a GP appointment on Thursday anyway, she'll refer me straight away. I hope there is a reason, I really want to be a mum!

It is evil, no happy "we're going to have a baybee!!" moments, ever, not that I had that even for the first

I'm not as upset as the last times though, I think I'm very much resigned to the fact, cramps have begin with a vengeance. Going to have a hot bath tonight

Bugs - I have everything crossed for you, sending Buglet strong healthy vibes. I can't quite believe it's nearly 12 weeks already! You have done really well!

Like you say, they've all been at pretty much the same time, I'm thinking I'm not getting past the blastocyst stage for whatever reason, likely to be genetic or immune I reckon?! Ho-Hum.

MissH I am so gutted to hear this . I'd really hoped this was your turn.
Just on a practical front, did you tell the EPU this was #3? I think there might be a case for going in to see if they can take samples for testing?