Karma's a load of old shite! The BESH have gone through a fair old heap of bollocks lately so it's time we had some good news!

[Fabuluce]

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

missh it's so good to hear of a good GP. So many seem mediocre at best.

Insomnia was my main symptom of early pregnancy. It did ease off though (and of course I menkulled about the only symptom I had disappearing....).

In contrast to many on here, my FC said there was no point in giving me clomid as I was ovulating. The private consultant I saw about the immune stuff did give me Letrozole (which is similar) but it only ever seemed to make me lay one egg (and on one of my natural monitored cycles I had been ready to lay two - I have twins in the family) it seemed a bit pointless. I gave it 3 goes I think.

fizzy I'm in the uk. Oop north. All about jumping through hoops, ticking the box and moving you to the next list round here. Only one round of IVF on the nhs round here as well (although I've heard of others who have had none, so I should count myself lucky).

euro I had insomnia really badly during my brief pregnancy. I was planning my wedding and booking venues at 3am .

I don't know any of your stories in detail but can any of you hags tell me whether you found dealing with a mc easier after your edd had passed? My edd is fast approaching. I really did think the clomid would work for me again and I'd be pg by my due date but no. I'm hoping once I'm past the 'my bump would be this big now' phase it all gets easier? Am I deluding myself?

Ooo, and I forgot to say, hooray for lovely gps missh. Everything remains tightly crossed for your scan .

I've had a lovely gp in the past. One of the ones I have here though, when I went in because I'd waited more than 70 days post mc and still not had AF (and without it couldn't start the clomid again), just told me I should take a break for a few months and give my body a chance to recover .

barking it does get easier with time. My edd for #1 was really awful and fell in January which I often struggle with. Number 2 was even worse because my nephew was born on that day instead! Number 3 I didnt let myself work out the exact date so it was less painful, and we were in the ivf process so had something else to focus on. I really understand that raw feeling, and the injustice of it all, thinking 'i should have had a baby by now and I'm not even up the duff'. Hang in there, it does ease. I did find that once the edd was past it felt a bit easier. Now I mostly feel sad in a wistful way. Have you thought about doing something to mark the occasion? Eg plant a tree, light a candle? On the anniversary of my ectopic #1 we saw a shooting star on the way to visit some good friends, and now I feel quite comforted by that, and remember the good times with friends, whenever I remember that awful day.

This is unheard of! I tried to have a nap yesterday, nope, didn't happen, stayed up very late for me going to bed just before twelve, read my book for 40 minutes, fell asleep! woohoo! Woke up really hot (having dreamt of a "My Little Pony: Conception Pony" complete with toy piss stick with light up indicators) at 01:45, now I'm knackered, but wide awake

I'll be on honeymoon fizzy. We found out I was pg the day after we got engaged (we'd decided, given my clock was ticking, to make a baby first then do marriage later, ha ha. After 20 months of ttc he proposed anyway and bingo - bfp next day).
We'd already agreed on a date within 8 months of the proposal - just in case, so I would have been 7 months pg on my wedding day. We didn't plan a honeymoon as I'm restricted to school holidays and the next available holiday was easter - when we were expecting our baby! The first thing we did after the mc was book a honeymoon.....

^^

COME ON YOU WOO-OOOMBS

Had my scan yesterday to check if the MC was complete - it is, plus womb is right shape, no cysts or fibroids, ovaries both present. A good start.

As ever though I was scanned AN HOUR after my appointment time! If they're going to tell you to drink a litre of water beforehand, they could at least see you on time . Both previous times I've been scanned I've been desperate for a slash for upwards of an hour, gone in, been told my bladder was 'too full', then scanned with dildocam. Why don't they just do that straight away?! They seem to think it's more unpleasant for you. Newsflash: we are TTC. There's bigger things than that spindly dildocam up there, on a regular basis. Plus at the end of all this, hopefully, a sodding child's head is going to fit through it.

There was a trainee doc doing the scan too, so he was standing there leaning heavily on my full bladder saying 'How do you do zoom on this system? Is it this box? Oh no it's this one'

MissH, great news! Toes crossed for you. I love the idea of My Little Conception Pony.

barking, my EDD for the MC before this one was some time in the next two weeks. To be honest, the idea doesn't haunt me that much, possibly because I got diffed and had another MC in the meantime. The focus shifted a bit. It's my age that scares me. The thought that OK, I've lost that one, now I'll be x age before I have my first. And another one: x+1. I know I'm in my 30s so in the grand scheme of things it's fine, but birthdays are just a noticeable marker of time ticking away.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!
And fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck! I'm pretty sure I've just looked my car keys in the boot of my car - can't find them anywhere cock cock cock

dishes glad it's not caused any damage to the womb. When will they start investigations to find out what is happening? Do you have any idea yourself?

I know what you mean about the ticking clock, as well as me being mid 30's my dad has a condition very similar to Parkinsons, only there are no drugs to control it or slow it down. When we started ttc he was still mobile. Now he's bent double, shuffles painfully, and this week has had to move into a bungalow so there are no more falling down the stairs incidents. He has lost all his fine motor skills, his speech is slurred and incredibly hard to understand, and his concentration is going as well now. If By the time we have a baby he won't be able to hold it. And my Dad has always been the parent I was closest to and is soft as a brush when it come to babies. This upsets me more than anything.

On a far lesser scale, my Grandma is an amazing knitter and churns out the most gorgous baby cardigans, which most of my friends have been recipients of when they've sprogged. She's now in her late 80's and slowing down. The thought of it taking so long for me to have a child that my Grandma won't be able to knit anymore by the time it arrives is quite irrationally, in the grand scheme of things also upsetting. It has crossed my mind to start stockpiling the ones she sends for my friends to save for my baby. But then I think that's a bit creepy as I'm not even pg yet...

buggerlugs Life sometimes has a shit sense of timing, how utterly horrible. I sometimes think of 'Life' as a character, like 'Death' in the Terry Pratchett books. Life would have a similar sense of humour to Terry Pratchett's Death.

I've got to ask - COWS?

fab - dare I ask if you found your keys?

Oops, I appear to have written an essay. You can tell I've got work I should be doing....

Hey Frog, just realised I haven't welcomed you - very remiss and I apologise profusely - have an arm punch and a gin

I like the idea of Life being a character in TP's books and think we should proffer it up as an idea - he's got a weird form of althseimers hasn't he? So shocking for anyone to receive news like that, and Especially for someone as prolific as him. I'm can imagine it must be pretty devastating to watch your father go through all that whilst listening to you clock tick away. It does all seem unfair doesn't it. I'd definitely stockpile your grandma's woollies - always best to be on the safe side - if tell her too but that's just me!

No keys have been found. Sigh. Got the man from the garage round and we tried to brake in but the fucker turns out to be bloody hard to break into without smashing any glass. So now I've got someone coming out tomorrow to pick the lock so that we can try and then climb into the back (which is small and full of boxes) and try and find the damn keys in the boot. I just hope the alarm won't be going off the whole time. Fuck it a lot.

Pass the gin, hags - it's not good news. They've cancelled the cycle - lining was barely 6mm and still had some odd fluid. I know really it's for the best and that we don't want to waste embryos on a sub standard lining. But I feel really really deflated and sad. Why is something that most of the world's population find so easy, so difficult for us? Snot fair. I have a job interview tomorrow - talk about shit timing - but am really looking forward to tomorrow night's

frog I'm sorry about your dad; that sounds awful.

fab have you tried popping the lock with half a tennis ball?

Sorry about the cancellation Fizz, that's crap. Presumably as they've cancelled it, it doesn't count as one of your allocated cycles?

Welcome aboard frog, I hope your stay in BESH-land is a short one

Oh you BESH are killing me! Fizzy- so sorry. What a complete pain in the arse. But looking ahead, best of luck for tomorrow. You will deserve those ??

Fab- sounds like the kind of thing I would do...but then find the keys in my bag 5 hours later.

Tree- very sad to hear about your dad. That must be tough. Completely understand wanting to nab your grandma's lovely knitted cardis. If she's anything like my gran was, she'd have a giggle if you told her you were doing that. She's prob snaffled a few away for you anyway

Frog- my miscarriage was jan 2012. I find Christmas and new year hard. We went off on a big adventure holiday over the holidays last year, just to get away from all the twee, smug and sad. My baby would be 20 months now...yes, the EDD was difficult. But so was the first 'birthday'.
The worst thing is still not being pregnant after all this time. That's what really upsets me if I'm honest. Of course I will always thing about my baby that never was and about how happy I was for those short weeks.

Mid thirties and sans bump/baby sucks shit.

Oh fuck it fizz that is primo shit and we COWed and everything. I'm referring back to the title of this Fred. Bollocks to karma - she's a bitch. I really feel for yOu lovely. Have a large gin on me (with orange? Really frog?? Mental note to try that out.)

Fanks everyone. I really appreciated all the COWing!

I have a consult appt a week on tues so will find out what the plan is then. Sounds like it will be more of the same - down reg, then HRT. The good thing is that while we have to pay for the drugs, they aren't too expensive (couple of hundred rather than couple of grand); the ET procedure if when we get there will be funded. Worst thing for me now is the oestrogen withdrawal!

Definitely time for gin then Fizz. Anyone ever had G’Vine Gin Nouasion? Tis quite lush.

That is super shit Fizz
Good luck for the job interview tomorrow. I keep thinking there must be a different side to this shit bag of a pendulum swing we're all going through just now. We're not just going to win our QUADZ but the lottery an' all and be squillionaire hags the lot of us.

Barking sorry to hear your dad is so poorly, no wonder the timer is ticking so hard for you.

I don't know what a G’Vine Gin Nouasion even is but it sounds like we all need a bit of that baby Fab. Please enlighten us!

Ahh MissH, hurrah for brown gunk stories, music to our ears in nowhere else but here. Fucking hurrah!

barking I found things a lot easier after my EDD. I really focussed on the date and couldn't help thinking that I should have been X weeks pregnant at whatever point. Bizarrely I didn't think like that about having a baby in the same way as I did about the pregnancy. I did think Xmas would be hard (my EDD was late October and when I got my BFP one of my first thoughts was how lovely it would be to have a baby for Xmas), but as I got this BFP just before Xmas it took my mind off things somewhat! Mother's Day was a bit poignant as I found out just before that things weren't right and started bleeding the day after last year. So I guess key dates can still be an issue, but it gets an awful lot easier in general (or at least it did for me).

I'm sorry about your dad. That sounds tough for all concerned. I've recently shared some of the cluster fuck that is my mum's health on this thread. It is so tough to see someone who was a rock to me when I was younger in pain and stressed.

cletter the scan set up sounds a bit rubbish but I'm glad (if that's the right word) that the mc is complete.

Oh fizz. FFS. The ttc game just involves so much bloody waiting! Enjoy that wine.

barking, they'll start with bloods some time in the next few weeks, to look at my hormone levels and check for clotting disorders, vitamin deficiencies etc. We have to stop trying until they're done, as the samples have to be taken when you're definitely not pg. I'm a bit gutted because so many pepole say that you're more fertile after an MC - could be a load of shite but I do remember the couple of cycles after my last MC I had LOADS of EWCM. Feel like we're passing up a great opportunity, but also don't want to risk losing another if there's potentially something I should be doing different.

I don't have any idea myself what, if anything, might be wrong. At the moment I feel like this may all just be shitty chance. I know I don't have the major stuff - PCOS, diabetes, thyroid disorder, obesity - and my cycles are very regular. So there's nothing obvious to start with. I actually hope like fuck that there isn't anything wrong with me, because it'll take a load off my mind and I'll know there was nothing we could have done to save the last two.

It's so sad about your dad and gran. It's not at all irrational to be upset about the cardis . I've found the death of my plans and dreams by far the hardest part of all my MCs.

fizz, aaaaaaargh - I will howl at the moon for you

Hello BESH. Please may I submit my application? I think I've been BESH all my life but I'd like to make it official!! I have lurked here for ages, and already know a couple so hoping you'll let me hang out here!

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')
   Is a frog's arse watertight? I am a garnish trollop tho, lemon, lime, cucumber - I'll try anything as long as the gin is there (maybe even orange now too barking, you weirdo!)

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?
   Cradle snatcher and proud!

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

I'll try anything at this stage, but mainly c)

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you: a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway. b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

a) of course. I hate twee, and besides has anyone really thought about babydust properly? It's a gross concept, ground up babies? baby dandruff? whatever it is, I don't want it.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.
   From serious thread lurking I know it to be b) (AKA the droid!)

6. Number of pets?
   2 cats, both rescues. One evil and borderline sociopath (a BESHcat if you will) and the other a total love dumpling

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?
   Alexander Armstrong. I think it's the voice, and the suggestive eyes.

8. Lesbian crush?
   Jennifer Lawrence. Told ya I was a cradle snatcher.

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

easily b) - I think we probably could have bought a new car by now with the money I've wasted spent on things to wee on

10. Which of these sentences is appalling: a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!! b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx c) both of the above

mostly b) - a) is more terrifying than appalling.

11. How barren are you? a) childless and TTC for at least one year b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

a) full story: TTC since March 20 fucking 12, initial explorations started March '13, all bloods done, SA, I had a HyCoSy - nada, 'Unexplained Infertility' is our diagnosis. Then miraculous BFP last September (3 months after HyCoSy) but ended in MMC in November. Back on the wagon since January this year, awaiting referral back to FC.

So, can I join or what?

Ahh Parsley! I'd say you're in! Change wee to Piss though and make sure you can shout Cunt liberally through the day!

Jennifer Lawrence! Naice! Also love that your cat is BESH!