About to start / Just started / Trying for a while TTC no.2 (part 5)

[GingerbreadBabyPlease]

Here we are ladies, part 5, with a new spin to the title to include some of us long-timers!
May it bring many, many more BFPs and some happy, healthy babies

Doc said *

FREEDOM!!

Odaat sorry things haven't gone to plan for you

Thanks :)
Bleeding has subsided but still have really bad backache... Has anyone else experienced this? Its a low dull ache - had it all day now !

How are you today, Odaat? I'm sorry everything is so up in the air for you. :-(

Ginger and Cake, how're you two doing?

Better, how's things today? And Toothpaste? How's your sister getting on?

Morerum, enjoy your first day of freedom!

Swede, are you OK now?

And have you finally shifted all your germs, Kt?

Mrs, how's DS' sleep doing? Any improvement? I'm sure he will get into eating more, especially when he isn't getting formula any more. He will get there. :-)

And no, we didn't find out the sex. It just isn't something we are desperate to know. I just wanted the all clear health-wise, which we thankfully got.

Baby was bouncing on my bladder overnight. Not good. Thank god it's Friday!

Has anyone seen Windy recently? She must be heading for the final straight very soon!

thanks hungry I celebrated by having cake for breakfast haha x

Hurrah morerum youre done, youre done!!! Good call on the cake!! What arrangements do you already have for childcare? Will these change now youre on mat leave?

Im on my phone waiting to go into my mw appt and the Internet is rubbish so I cant go back to see what I need to reply to, however things are so crazy busy at home that if I dont post now I may never get to do it!

I think it was mrs asking about dh & work, we just have to wait until next tues for his specialist appt to see when he can go back, the problem will be if it's really bad and he has to have an operation they leave it to heal for 3-4 months before they do it.....right on my due date then!! Fortunately he has private health cover so he should be able to choose a date!

Its hard going at the moment hungry with the potty training and with dh not being able to help through the night especially as dd has decided this week that she'll wake up for hours on end each night!! How are things with you?

Good question re windy!!

Hows your week been mrs?

Hows everyone else doing? Anyone have any nice plans for sunday?

Currently 10 mins over my appt time which isn't good as ive left dd with immobile dh!!! Hurry up evil incompetent midwife!

Hi hungry :)
Hope all went well at midwifes better :)
More mum - cake for brekky sounds delightful!
I am bleeding heavier than yesterday, red but no clots ( sorry for tmi!!)
Not looking fab really... However dh sad last nigh he can see how much i want this and is happy for me to just stay off pill as it what he wants too as only a tad earlier than planned :)

Good evening ladies!
Odaat - So sorry that things aren't looking good for you with the bleeding but you never know. Let's see what the blood test tells you on Monday but it's great news about your DH Nd if it is bad news on Monday at least (although I'm sure you'll be very sad) you know you can start trying again and I'm sure it wouldn't take long a again. Ditch those pills!
Morerum - Welcome to the SAHMummy club with me and Better! How was your first day, did you do anything nice? Did you enjoy your cake for breakfast? I tend to have porridge for breakfast with grapefruit first or weetabix and banana but I love sweet things and have to have some cake or chocolate or something sweet and nice each day.
Hi Better - how was the midwife app?

Hi all, sorry, been 'away' for a while although have been following the thread. So reaching the 12 week mark on Thursday next week, can't wait frankly. Have my next scan and all the Downs testing etc on the 10th April, so not long to go.

Not a happy bunny however, have had some stuff going on at home. DH had a complete meltdown about two weeks ago and said he was deeply unhappy with his life, he is not sure why but it seemed to include us as well. A bit of background to this is that I suspect that he has been suffering from depression for a very long time, but he has never dealt with it. His father disappeared when he was 8 and has never been heard from since. His mum remarried and had another child and although they all seem to be getting on from the outside, it is clear to anyone taking a better look that DH is the outsider of the family 'unit'. His step dad is a strange man who has never treated DH as his son. Also after his dad left, his mum could not cope and DH was left with his grandparents (who are the loveliest people) for about 3 years. So all in all it is not a great childhood picture I am painting. But DH managed to rise above this and has become a wonderful confident man. However I believe the past has influenced him more than he or anyone else recognizes. He finds it hard to trust people, he pushes away the people that loves him and he finds it difficult to accept a helping hand from anyone. So now it is my turn to be pushed away. We have talked a lot and I am trying to be understanding. The reality is that if he would decide to leave me then my only option would be to pack my bags and return to Sweden, meaning it would be near impossible for him to see his children. However I say it, it sounds like a stupid ultimatum but its not, it's the reality. I have no support network here and this is not my home country so what would I do as a single parent with two kids here. In Sweden I have family and friends and a great support network. But I am not prepared to give up, as I said I think the root of the problem is his depression and he needs to sort himself out before he can take any decisions about anything. So I have given him one ultimatum, he must go and see someone professional to talk about this. So he is starting sessions with a psychologist on Monday and we will see how it goes. I am obviously on edge and feel like crap to be honest. The idea of being left at 38 with 2 kids is not pleasant but hoping that it won't come to that.

Anyway, sorry for the long post but just needed to get it of my chest as I have no one to talk to as feeling rather embarrassed about the situation.

Swede, there's no need to be embarrassed. My DH suffered from depression before ds was born but even when he acknowledged he had a problem he refused to get help. My 1st pg was not fun. It wasn't until DS was born that he finally agreed to get help. He pushed me away as well. And sometimes he would spend all day trying to focus and concentrate and hold it together at work, then at home he didn't have to wear that mask so I would get the brunt of his unhappiness. Finally seeing a psychologist and going onto ads helped him but it's been 2 years since then and it's not over yet, though things are a lot better now.

There's a great book called I had a black dog and another called Living with a black dog by Matthew Johnson. The first helped me understand how it was for dh and the 2nd made me focus on myself and how I could cope with oiving with someone with depression.

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this at all, but especially when pg and you need him most. Hugs. x

Hi Swede - I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you're going through this. I think it happens a lot more than you think. My DH has a bit of a history of depression too and from time to time I can tell when he's feeling a big low as I get the brunt of it too and it's very hard. Fingers crossed my DH seems to be through it now and didn't get any help (although I think he should have done) but you never know with things like this when they will flare up. It must be very hard for you and sad being pregnant with your hormones all over the place. You'll no doubt be feeling more emotional than usual and it's hard because you want to feel happy and content in yourself so that your baby doesn't feel any of your upset emotions. Try to stay strong and be as supportive as you can. I am more than sure that if he has agreed to get help that he will feel better in himself in no time at all and you can return to being the happy family unit that you normally are.

Hi Calling - how are you?
Hi Better - How was your midwife app? Is she any better? What's everyone have planned for Mother's Day? We don't have anything planned as such but I would be sad if DH had forgotten. My DS is too young to know but I hope we will go out for a nice day somewhere. By the way, there is a school I'd like my DS to go to, although he doesn't start school until September 2016 so I am being a bit premature. Well when I went into tesco yesterday for a few things, there were some children from this particular school handing out daffodils for Mother's Day and it made me think. So I went to the school reception later as they have a pre school from ages 3. My DS will be 3 in December so he will get his free place at nursery in January next year. Tell me if I'm acting too soon but I've heard places go quickly so I've got forms to complete to try get him into the pre school nursery. I'm just going to ask for two morning sessions a week, Tuesdays and Thursdays which are 8.45am til 11.45am. I'll be at home so it's not essential that he goes but I think he'd really enjoy it and I think it would be good for his development. It's not the closest school but the nicest in my opinion and I hope that if he gets in to the nursery that he might be more likely to get into the school too. So going to hand in the form next week and at the same time ask to have a look round.

Oh, Swede. I'm sorry you find yourself in that situation. And there is absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. None of this is your fault and you've been a supportive wife to your DH.

But you can't go on as you are, so you've done the right thing. I really hope the therapy helps him and you can move forwards from this. Xx

Before DH was my DH he had loads of issues which preyed on him and he would push me away too. I also felt embarrassed by it. But we got past it and he's now really affectionate and an amazing dad.

I agree with mrs, it's more common than you'd maybe think.

Sorry your going through this swede agree with mrs it is quite common, my DH had gone through a bad time just before I met him and every now and again he feels depressed again, it's good that your DH is getting help, and seeing someone, my DH got referred from his doctors and saw someone for a few months, and it really had helped.

How was your apt better hope they didn't keep you waiting too long!

Sorry to hear that odaat hope your okay, good that your DH had agreed to start trying earlier though :)

hungry I'm still not 100% but I'm getting there thanks :) my doctor had given me an inhaler to use for the cough as it's awful :( never had any sign of asthma before though so guessing its the pregnancy! How are you doing? Glad your apt went well :) and how's work?

mrs the nursery sounds like a good idea for your DS it will help him be prepared for when he does go to a school. Even if its just the mornings will be nice for him to be with the other children too. I had a review at my DS nursery yesterday and he's doing so well there very proud with how much he has learnt, and It was a comfort to know that he has made lots of friends too. Your love hearing him come back and tell you all about his day too :)

I thought the same about windy too and monster and hope metal is doing ok too.

swede - what horrible circumstances to be in especially pg, I hope your dh is ok and manages to reach the right conclusion and seek professional help. big hugs from us and please don't ever feel embarrassed on here xxxx
mrs - my dd is 3 in November and ive registered her at the nursery attached to my preferred school think things may be different here in scotland but I don't see any harm if thats what you want xx
better - how was your mw appointment? x

better - re childcare my mum watched dd while I was at work and she has very kindly offered to continue watching her the 2 days to let me get a rest (even if only for afew hours) difference is she won't be getting droppped off at 7:15 still in her jammies lol

I'm good thanks mrs.

Not mother's day here till May, but my DM and DF are over on a visit so will go for a walk in the sunshine and then have a Sunday roast. Going to pop into town with them later and then go out for dinner with ILs as well...pancakes!

Hi Calling - I didn't realise you had a different Mother's Day. Your weekend plans sound lovely. It's lovely to go out for a nice Sunday roast and I absolutely love pancakes.
Re the nursery thing, I've been lucky in that while I was working part time both my mum and DH shared the childcare over those 2 days that I worked so I never needed to pay for childcare. I'm only thinking about nursery for when he's 3 as he gets his free place and think it might be good for him. I just want him to go for two mornings as I'll be at home so I want to be with him too. If for any reason he doesn't like it, I won't make him go but I think he will like it. I think things might be different in Scotland Morerum- how does the school process work over there? I believe we have to apply for 5 schools and see which you get. We are a while off that yet but I would like DS to go to the school attached to the preschool, I think. I'll go have a look round next week with DH and DS and see if it looks as good as I think.
Kt - it's great that your DS is doing so well at nursery. What days does he do? I bet it is lovely to be told how well they are doing and that they're making friends and also for them to come home having made you something. So you get all this Kt ?
Well my DS seems to have eaten a but better yesterday and this morning has had a slice of toast for breakfast and a banana and a petit filous yoghurt all for breakfast - I don't think that's bad is it? And last night he had loads of roast chicken for tea.
Ooh can I ask you all, do you all/any if you give your DC a child multivitamin? I bought some yesterday by Seven Seas. It's liquid form and tastes of orange. It's a multivitamin which the pharmacist recommended. Only started it yesterday and my DS loves it and asks for more.

Hi everyone, and happy Mother's Day in advance for tomorrow!

Midwife appt was good, mainly as it was a different midwife! Just temporary holiday cover sadly as the stand in was lovely!! She said I wasn't the first to say I wish she was their new permanent midwife and she'd only been there an hour! Hopefully she'll feed that back! All was fine with baby, she asked me about movement and I said I had very little during the day, and asked about anterior placenta, she seemed abit concerned re lack of movement and said I needed to keep a log to try and learn the baby's pattern so I could identify if it changed. Then I lay down for her to listen in to the baby, she put the Doppler on and the baby kicked it straight off! And proceeded to kick and squirm all the way through the examination! Already making a liar of me. I could feel each movement So she said she thinks it's likely that I just don't feel it when I'm standing up or moving (due to anterior placenta) she found the heartbeat straight away too. I also asked her about my weight as I haven't put much at all on and regular nasty midwife always makes it out to be terrible but nice stand in said my growth is perfect and not to give weight gain a second though. So good all round & feel much better.

Oh swede how awful for you. I have no experience of depression so can't offer any help but seems like everyone else has some great points. I mostly see it from your side (probably as I've no exp of depression) and just feel so sorry for you to be going through this while you're pregnant. I know it must be awful for your dh too of course but in terms of you needing tlc and support it's terrible timing for you. Hope you're ok.

I was going to come on and moan about my dh being selfish and useless in light of his injury but seems like nothing now compared with what swedes going through so I'll shut up!!

It sounds like ds eats when he's hungry mrs give yourself a break from worrying! I'm sure he's just fine, just not a big eater. Were in the same positions re nurseries, we applied to the one we really want her to go to so fingers crossed!!

How are you kt? Have the headaches eased off?

How are you hungry?

That's good re your mum still having dd so you can rest morerum How's your pain at the moment?

Haven't heard from gingerbread for awhile, hope you're ok.

Happy Mother's Day everyone. :-)

Hi Better, I'm fine. Had an early night last night as I couldn't stay awake, and managed 7 hours in one chunk, so not so bad. Would've preferred more though!

At least you had a nice midwife...speaks volumes that everyone told her she was lovely!

Hope everyone is OK today.

Happy Mothers Day to everyone in the UK!

Having a lazy Sunday morning here, mm parents joining us later for a Sunday Roast. Must write card for DM.

Happy Mothers Day everyone! I hope everyone has had a nice day. I got a lovely big card from my DS which he had crayoned all over inside and a really cute teddy and some of those irresistible red lindor chocolates and we have been out for the day to a big play park followed by fish and chips in the park by the river before coming home.
Better - Glad your midwife appointment went well. It's a shame she's not your permanent one! You're right, I need to stop worrying. DS had a big fish today from the chip shop while we were out. Think he does everything when he wants.

Swede I just wanted to say I'm so so sorry to hear that about your dh.it sounds like u are being amazing and I think u are an inspiration to have handled it like that. U obviously need to look after yourself too and maybe a little trip home would be a nice idea. Here is to an improvement in coming weeks and a positive scan.
Mrs - ds is slightly better eating now he isn't ill (touch wood for a little while now!). But when I say slightly better I mean he is eating a few mouthfuls! He doesn't completely refuse to even try everything. Today I took him out for lunch (ds) as dh was painting our flat we rent. And gave him fish and chips. I think he ate two mouthfuls of fish and about 5 chips and that was good!!
My sister is due 5 days after me, hungry. It's so special to have this time together. Tho as it's her first she has so much more time to dwell on each stage where I find I'm so busy with work, moving, ds..!
Anyone got names yet?

Race to the finish then, Toothpaste? Was your DS early or late?

And I know what you mean about having more time to dwell the first time...life is far too busy to think much about poor neglected number 2!

Though my belly was moving a touch today, which was awesome. :-)

We have names, but I can't put them on here as some people know my NN and we aren't telling people beforehand!