About to start / Just started / Trying for a while TTC no.2 (part 5)

[GingerbreadBabyPlease]

Here we are ladies, part 5, with a new spin to the title to include some of us long-timers!
May it bring many, many more BFPs and some happy, healthy babies

Hello
I'm also having arguments with husband. He is just not really interested in this preg is same way and I feel less making compensation for the fact that I'm 7 months preg. He has taken to sleeping in spare ro a lot which isn't great. Especially as no sex life as it was! I think preg is hard on relationships. As is Ttc.
Ginger sorry about af. Drink away for a couple of days.
Engels - fx!
Bitter I Hpe u are feeling ok. It's a tough situation. U will be fine as lots of ot is emotional support u need too.
Off to bed now as i am so tired all the time x

Hi Buddha - Are you new to the thread? Your name doesn't ring a bell unless I'm having pregnancy brain issues... Anyway I agree that pregnancy does take it's toll on relationships as well as TTC. I think that's very well said. We are not DTD at all anymore as I won't in case it causes bleeding, plus at nearly 32 weeks I'm too big and would be uncomfortable. My DH is very understanding about that but still I think it's tough as none of us want to be in that situation really where you're not DTD, big pregnancy is also tough for other reasons as I don't think men really understand our hormones and if we get emotional or moody etc.

Hi Buddha welcome xx
I can totally understand how you are feeling. My dh and I had a massive breakdown in communication which led to all kinds of problems. It was pregnancy related I dont think they will ever understand the emotions involved in carrying a child? They are not wired up the same as us. Hope you feel better soon xx

Welcome juggling and buddha :)

Ah engels I got the wrong tuesday will keep my fx till next week then!

Glad to hear you got your section sorted hungry sounds like you have lovely supportive antenatal care - must be a relief.

Erm ...... AF is due today i'm super scared to jinx it but it isn't here yet .......i'm usually very regular ........trying very hard (and failing) not to get my hopes up.

loves! you must poas asap!
Get on it and report back xx

I just POAS bfn, but with the faintest hint of maybe possibly another line if you squinted, just enough to drive me a little crazy . Still no AF so I think I will try again first thing in the morning .............Aggghhh trying to stay rational its obv a bfn plus the test went out of date in July last year whatever that means, going to bake some biscuits as a distraction technique :)

Just did a first response one and its negative :( it was a long shot anyway.

don't lose hope its not over till af shows up! xx

Fx loves!

ordered my hpts yesterday so will arrive 2mrw. Bets that I can hold out poas over the weekend?

Shit, sorry loves, like Rum said though, not over til AF shows up. Any
news today? How did the biscuits turn out?
Is it Sunday AF is due Engels? I bet you POAS in the morning!!!

Well I managed to get another Dr appointment yesterday, she was really lovely and helpful again. Has referred me to gynecologist, and is sending DH for a test, and I need to do my day21 blood test again. She went through the results with me from my last one, and turns out the woman who told me the results were normal was talking out of her arse, as my progesterone levels suggest I'm not ovulating. I'm glad I got the ball rolling when I did, as it's not looking likely that I'll get pg without any help. I can't believe this is actually happening to me. DD was conceived second cycle of trying just 3 years ago and I am only 27. It makes no sense. I was always so scared and worried of being infertile, and now I'm actually living through it. I know I'm so lucky to have DD, but I just hate the thought of her being an only child. Sorry to always be so depressing when I come on here, but it's nice to have somewhere to vent, DH is sick of discussing it, and my family have their own problems to worry about.
Anyway, my brother and family are coming to stay this weekend, so DD will have some buddies to play with, and hopefully the sun will be shining.

awh ginger im sorry. forgive me if this is out of place but at least if they have found a problem they can look into fixing it where as if things were normal you would just be left. hope that doesnt sound harsh xxx

No rum you are right, that's exactly what I thought! Hopefully they will give me clomid or something, and then I will hopefully get pregnant straight away! I do feel a bit cheeky pushing things as I already have a DD, I feel like they don't care as much or take you as seriously if you can obviously already have children, it just doesn't make any sense why this has happened! I'm going to make a real effort to lose some weight too and see if this helps, after easter of course! How are you feeling with your SPD? Everything ok with DH now?

Ginger, so sorry to hear that, but at least it's been discovered and you can now do something about it. Fx for you.

Well here it's all over. We are separating which means dd and I will return to Sweden permanently. We will leave in June as we were going then anyway. Crap situation as I do not want to separate my kid(s) from their father but what choice do I have. I have no one here and in Sweden I have my family and friends and I will need them if I am going to cope as a single mother of two. Can't really believe I am in this situation but have at least finished crying about it and have reverted to survival mood. At least DH agrees that kid(s) must be with me.

Oh swede I'm so sorry. ((hugs))

ginger sounds like you need a hug too.

swede, im so sorry what a terrible situation to be in especially when pregnant. can any of your family come over to help out while your sorting things out .

Oh my goodness swede im so sorry to hear that, It sounds like you are coping really well and it sounds amicable between you and DH so that's two positives at least in a thoroughly shitty situation. Sending you hugs x

Ginger I think this is positive news for you if you know what I mean - at least now something will change and I wouldn't think it's cheeky, well done for taking control.

I am weak I couldn't resist a shining new packet of hpts.

I swear I can see a very faint line!

Only 12dpo (I think) so now will have to wait to test again if I want a stronger line (maybe I'm imagining it?). AF due Sunday but sure I will poas before then! Should try some fmu but not sure if I can hold out. Not when I have 5 hpts calling m name

Oh no, Swede. I'm so sorry. :-(

Did you not manage to change your flights? How much notice do you have to give work?

I can't imagine how you're feeling. I hope you have plenty of support, even if it's via Skype / FaceTime / another way.

Ginger, I agree it's kind of positive as at least you can do something now. Fx you get clomid and that does the trick. How much help are you allowed when you already have children?

Engels...you do know you can put photos up here, don't you? :-) Fx for you.

Just off outfor a run though may try when I get back. It's REALLY faint!

Engels, a line is a line. Keeping everything crossed for you.

Yes getting excellent support via phone and Skype and emails from my parents, brother and best friends. Have already spoken to work so they know. Hate giving up such a great job! Lots of things to sort out and will start next week as dd will be away at her god parents for a few days. DH still hasn't told his family though so waiting for that bomb to explode, it's not going to go down well, that's for sure.

Is it a cheapie? Mine was stupidly faint.

Oh my god Swede I am so sorry things didn't work out for you. Is there no chance a break is all he needs? I'm glad you have plenty of support around you, hope his family is understanding about it all, and the bomb doesn't explode too much. Thinking of you, hope you are managing as well as you can. When is your baby due again?

Yes you are right, it is better than unexplained infertility, but it's just such a long bloody road to get anywhere, and you have to jump through so many hoops. Not sure what is available Hungry, have got the number for the infertility network so will give them a call. I'm fairly certain I won't get a go of IVF for free, and there is no way we could afford it, or even IUI, which is hundreds rather than thousands. I am working on convincing DH that acupuncture is worth a shot, but will see what the next lot of blood results say first. Just trying to focus on losing weight for now, and enjoying summer.

Engels that is very exciting! Glad you were impatient! Let us know how you get on in the morning!

Hi Ginger - I'm also very sorry to hear your news. I have heard of this happening before where people get pregnant quickly first time but then are not as fertile when they try again. I think you've been extremely brave and done really well going to the doctor and sorting this all out and i don't think it will be too difficult for you, with a bit of help to
conceive again soon. I say this as a friend of mine at work, him and his wife (different to you as they don't have any children yet) but they are both young early 30's like me and have been trying for about 5 years and nothing. I dot know exactly what the problem was but they weren't that fertile when tested for whatever reason but had to try a few different things, I think she was given injections of something to do at home but either way and whatever they tried, they are now expecting. You have already had a baby so I really think with a bit of help you'll get there very soon and fingers crossed it may only be a bit of help you need to push things along. xx
Swede - Very sorry for your marriage and really feel for you as can't imagine how scary a position that must be to be in. Forgive me for saying this as I don't know the in's and out's but it all seems to have happened very quickly. I thought your DH was going to get help and that you both wanted to make it work but very quickly it seems to have been decided that it's over and you're going back home. I always think a marriage is worth fighting for (if no one has had an affair or beat anyone up of course). I'm sure you'll come through it the other side if this is what you both want, you sound remarkably strong and not half as upset as I would have imagined or how I imagine I would feel in that same situation.
Hi Engels - Fingers crossed for you with that faint line. I'm with Hungry, a line is usually a line. I remember getting an ever so faint line and I looked at it for hours trying to work out if it was actually a line or my imagination and then you read all these things about evaporation lines too and it all becomes very confusing. Mine was real so I'm guessing yours will be too so fingers crossed for another definite BFP!
How's everyone else?
Got a letter through the post today for my DS to see the pediatrician in July re his hair but really hoping it all grows back and thickens up by then so we can cancel the appointment. I feel so sad when I look at his hair, doesn't look bad but he has lost a bit and it was very thick before but with any luck it will grow back lovely and thick again. Children worry you so much , you just don't ever want anything to be wrong.
What's everyone's plans for Easter weekend?

Hi Mrs, yes it its all very quick for sure. I think I am probably coming across stronger than I am/feel. I was ready to fight and work for this marriage but he is not. We have talked so much and his conclusion is that he does not want to be in this relationship anymore. Apparently he has felt this for a long time and has tried ( not that I knew anything about it). I offered to go home for a break so he can think it over but he says there is no point, his mind is made up. My feelings haven't changed, I still love him more than anything but I can't force him to feel the same I guess. I am also under serious pressure due to the pregnancy. Should I give birth here or in Sweden. I can only fly up until a certain time. If I were to give birth here I would have to sit in this lonely misery until October, then it would take at least another 6 months to sort out all the documentation for the baby as he would automatically become South African at birth, getting an SA passport takes forever and he must have one to leave the country. Also I would need to register the birth at the Swedish embassy so he becomes Swedish citizen and after that apply for a Swedish passport which also takes forever as he would not be allowed to enter Sweden on a SA passport (SA citizens needs a visa for Sweden and Swedish authorities will not issue him a visa as he will be a Swedish citizen). It's all very complicated and takes forever to sort out. I went through it with dd so I know, she was born in Oct 2010 and we only managed to go to Sweden to see my family in July 2011 as everything took so long. So if I am to leave which I now am it will have to be sooner rather than later as the consequences of staying are huge. Giving birth here would be very lonely and would be left coping with a newborn and a 4 year old on my own. At least at home my parents would be there to help.
So, yes I have tried everything in my power to make him see that we are worth fighting for but alas he does not agree at all. Should be really angry with him but I feel more sorry for him. Think he is making the biggest mistake of his life.

Swede, you sound very sensible. You have made your feelings clear and now DH is the one who needs to step up if there is any chance of a different outcome. In your position, so far from home and with such complex passport situations I would do the same. At least DH is not making a big deal about you going back to Sweden, though I would be careful about what happens when his family find out and get involved. It's the one thing that has always worried me about marrying a non-Brit and moving to his country. If something goes wrong, what will happen? I can imagine DH not wanting me to head back to the UK, but how would I feel having to stay here without his support (so many things that he deals with and organises as the native).

In this situation the Dutch would say sterkte - wishing you strength. Sending you a big hug.