Drop all things contraband, we don't want you're OPK's here. Grab a cape, stroke the unicorn and reserve your spot in the pity Jacuzzi...It's JUST SHAGGING THREAD 21!!

[lil1ady]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 20 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1961521-You-can-do-it-by-charting-analysing-testing-and-worrying-but-we-prefer-JUST-SHAGGING-PART-20?" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png">

Happy shagging shaggers!

Yes! For my... Ear! Very bad ear. Sorry, what was that? Etc

Second the antibiotics too... say you've got an abcess on your lady garden which aches if you stand up too long. No one will want to see it, and you get to sit down whenever you want!!

Devious? Moi? Absolutement!

That is hilarious aylesbury

Ear infection, good one! Or, if you want some fun of your own you could imply its an 'intimate' problem (urine infection or something) and watch people feel awkward!

What a shitty week red! It never rains but it pours as they say, hopefully that's your bad luck done for a while and you are moving onto happier things now!

I was so close to telling someone in RL some of the issues yesterday as she told me she had PCOS and I wanted to ask some questions. Would have had to have go into more info though and not sure it would have stayed between us so didn't. I do kind of feel like telling someone though, just to have said it out loud. Not that you guys aren't enough of course!

Get yourself to the docs martie! It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and, like the others said, better to know.

Lol aylesbury

Lol aylesbury, will remember that one!! I usually get one drink and just drink it reeeeeally slooooowly.... Guess that prob wouldn't work on a hen do though!!

Funny you should mention that dulcet, I keep blurting out to people irl that we're ttc, even though its supposed to be "secret" ... Worked out yest I've told about 8 people already! Told someone yesterday who I'm not even that good friends with, just because she mentioned it and I said "I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT" in my grumpy state, and then felt obliged to explain... Whoops. Not much of a backstory I suppose apart from its been 6 months and I'm extra grumpy.

Have a good weekend everyone x

Well viroids, I am nursing a hangover - had a fab night. ERTD didn't happen despite the massive stomach cramps, so I squeezed myself into my little black dress and guzzled free champagne all night.

(disclaimer: I'm pretty sure I'm not upduffed this month, so I'm hoping it was ok to get sozzled).

I'm feeling rather delicate this morning though and am on my 4th cup of tea so far...

Red that does sound like a shitty week. I would have cried if the police officer had told me off. I hope you can put it all behind you and relax this weekend.

Nessa - magic words "Wee infection". No one will ask for elaboration. If anyone does suspect, you could just say "Well I'm in that dreaded two week wait, so I don't want to just in case..." Have a good night!

Re telling people you're TTC... absolutely everyone who knows me knows that I am because we went through some pretty major drama to get to this point. So it's no secret. Which makes it harder the longer it goes on really. My friends keep asking "Well, any news?" ... well if there was I'd bloody tell you wouldn't I!

So whenever I do have news of any kind to tell people, I have to preface it with "No, I'm not pregnant. But I have some good news...."

It's shit, but there you go. I'm feeling positive today despite the hangover. THe sun is shining, enjoy the day ladies

The sun does help with the positivity, doesn't it! Loving it!

The only thing about the sun is... it makes the house look dirty shining through the windows

Afternoon viroids.
red how freaking frustrating doll. I'm sorry that you're still going through this, I'm sending PMA to the frembryo xxx
Bring completely sleep deprived and jet lagged I can't remember what everyone has written, but whatever it is I 100% agree with each and everyone of you.
Especially the no alcohol excuse! Brilliant.
No news my end. No ERTD and no major pms either. Breadstick pain didn't come to fruition so nips are a little sore and that's it.

Oh and I've a lovely mozzie bite on my chest. Loves a bit of scratting me.

shhhh.....gotta secret to tell you we have just picked our wedding venue!!!

Got two dates to flip a coin over and unless we can wake up tomorrow and go 'nah...lets find somewhere else' we'll be paying the deposit in two weeks!!

Ooh that's great news, I do love a good wedding ;-) Planning our wedding was so much fun, though I did nearly kill everyone involved a lot of times lol... What dates have you got? Its our first anniversary tomorrow - can recommend spring weddings!

Ooh Aylesbury that's exciting! Is it lovely? I love a good wedding story!

I had to come back on here to rant. I just opened my Facebook, and literally the first three posts on my newsfeed were pictures of friends who are either my age or younger with their gorgeous families.

BAM! Here's a selfie of me and my gorgeous baby...
BAM! Here's me and my husband and our two gorgeous kiddies...
BAM! Here's my gorgeous 6 month old baby.

Sigh. I'm happy for them all.. but it certainly drives the message home doesn't it!

On a positive note - my hangover improved enough to take my dogs to the beach, where they got utterly filthy and made me laugh

Curry night at a new friend's house tonight - slightly apprehensive because it's DPs friend and his wife who I have only met once. I'm sure she's lovely, and I hope I can relax and have a laugh. And yes, even they know we're ttc.... great.

Thanks for the tips guys! I had a stroke of genius - I'm playing up that I'm horribly hungover! 'Never touching booze again' etc. Diverts suspicion as well as providing an excuse! I'm actually a little insulted at how easily they bought it

Yay for the wedding venue news - I agree, spring weddings are brill!

Lol Ness, that is stroke of genius!

Mich, I'm having that kind of facebook day too funnily enough... was literally incensed earlier at a fb status which was literally just: my baby's nappy had shit in it and so I changed it.... lol... WHY? Now its new family selfies. (Both from the couple that stole our name so may be a teeny bit bitter!)

Supposed to be going out tonight but not feeling it right now! Least I can drink eh :-)

Snap on the FB world, friend who announced pregnancy a few weeks back has created a 'pregnancy album' so now all the bump and scan pics are collated neatly on my newsfeed. Still, remembering them being pregnant isn't preventing me getting there! Must be nice!

So exciting aylesbury, congratulations!
Hope you survive the hen night sober nessa.

At the risk of adding to the annoyance caused by fb posts, I got a BFP today. Feeling very lucky, even though I have spent the afternoon in bed with a migraine. I promise no fb scan pics if we make it that far!

Fab news wil, huge congratulations. Short but sweet stay x

Congratulations!

Fx for textbook pregnancy!

Wow, congrats wil.

minion are you testing tomorrow...? Very best of luck. xx

Congrats, wil! We never feel envious when it's one of "us" - only happy! Wishing you the best.

Rpopz - laughing because it's so true, the useless, mindless FB posts are ridiculous!

I am having a do-nothing weekend, and it's wonderful. Just arose from a post-JSing two hour nap .

Great news! Congrats Wil!

juniper nah. I'll leave it to two Weeks after I thought I may have iced late, then see how we go.
Its another weird one though. It feels like I haven't iced again.

Trip to the gp may be in order.

Thanks viroids. I only joined because I thought I was out this month. Which goes to show that sometimes even if you're feeling totally premenstrual, it can still happen. DP is ever so slightly gutted that the JSing will be stopping .

The fb posts drive me nuts too - esp ones about baby's sleep routine. Although baby photos don't rival the current 'selfie' trend for annoyance levels. I have someone who puts a photo up of themselves practically every time they get dressed. Same pose, same pout and same stupid camera flash in the mirror so you can't even see it properly. Taking narcissism to a whole new level.

wilhelmina you did a kitten :) congratulations!