Drop all things contraband, we don't want you're OPK's here. Grab a cape, stroke the unicorn and reserve your spot in the pity Jacuzzi...It's JUST SHAGGING THREAD 21!!

[lil1ady]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 20 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1961521-You-can-do-it-by-charting-analysing-testing-and-worrying-but-we-prefer-JUST-SHAGGING-PART-20?" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png">

Happy shagging shaggers!

Oh Spotti, I know exactly what you meant about your cake though. I tried to make cream egg brownies and it came out as just brownie with melted cream egg in, couldn't tell it was in there cos it just melted!

Now I want dessert...

errr...have forgotten why we've got a unicorn. but it is very important!

It's a lucky unicorn

/. /\

Zing where are u? I can't remember how to draw it

Zing got us the unicorn I think, didn't she? Worked for her, she's preggers!

We have a unicorn because they are awesome! There really isn't a reason as to why you need a unicorn... We just like them!

Can I join you? I wanted to join the last thread but felt like it was too far in so I'm sneaking onto your new one.

Stats:
Name: Wilhelmina
Age: 34
DC: 1
TTC: Since dec 13

If I stick a cornetto on the dogs head? That's still good luck right?

They said on the radio today, that one of the few words in the English language which nothing rhymes with is.... Unicorn!!

OK time for stupid TMI question alert. You know the dildo cam, right? How does it see your ovaries... surely they're outside your uterus? And does it go up through your cervix?? How does it wooooork?

I was too scared to google 'Dildo Cam' for obvious reasons, so I thought I'd ask you!! You're way cleverer than Dr Goofle.

zing drew the unicorn but I thinks its been around since before I joined which was about thread 15 I think, Christ that sucks, no offence I think its just a lucky moscot. although so is zing as she joined before she was ttc just to cheer us on

you're welcome ness at least ic's are just that - cheap!

as for bets on bfps I reckon ness could be next. who had michonnes prediction luck? minion? keep us updated! as for me I'm due af/bfp Friday but not holding out much hope despite our 6day shagathon right across icing. I have none of my normal post AF symptoms so I would assume im having a low prog month maybe. but dhs results due next week.

dulcet I'm glad u don't just think I'm a weirdo! I'm actually worried that dhs results might be fine this time and then we'd be no further forward. I feel like a terrible person but I'm just fed up of this limbo!

anyway I will update roll call when I'm back on PC. but for now all raise your and let's drink to thread 21, where we will all come of age and leave as less crazy women with bfps!

oh and hi wilhel

dildo cam and ovaries... good question!

Yes, I still have vibes about Minion...

Although no symptoms is a symptom Lil ....

As for me, I'm waiting for a job interview for my dream job, so I don't really want a BFP this month. Obvs I would still be thrilled if I did get one, but best wait and see about the job first...!

I just don't have the foggiest what's going on with me. Still suffering with those not quite ertd pains, low down centre, comes in waves.
Been peeing all day long, even husband said 'again'when I went.
Still no sore boobs tho.
Confused.com

I've had dildo cam. It doesn't actually go in that far (it looks like a porn star's cock mind you. The auxiliary said it's so long to keep the sonographer's hand a "polite distance" from your body), but they angle it about (uncomfortable but not painful) and the sound waves bounce off your bits and they get a picture of it all. I've also had my ovaries felt from up my ladygarden so it must all be accessible somehow.

And this is why I love the anonymity of the internet.

in here everything is a symptom michonne!

main keep shagging and testing girl!

ok I couldn't resist, I asked Dr Goofle. I got lots of ovarian cancer sites come up! but from what I can tell its because ultra sound is just that - sound - that it can "see" the ovaries. it sends sound waves out and records an image based on what these do (?) and that's how they get images. shimples!

oh ffs! min I'm going to have to save your name into my phone dictionary to avoid all the auto correct nightmares!

Not sure how it works lil, but there's an outside scan too so between the two they get a good look I imagine.

I just keep trying to remember that this is only a small taste of the glamour you get in pregnancy!

Juniper that experience sounds mildly terrifying. Esp the bit about feeling the ovaries through the lady garden.

minion when is ERTD due? I promised to keep my lip zipped so yeah. I'll say no more!

Hi Wilhelmina! Well, once they're fiddling about up there (was for a smear with a GP a few years ago) it's all much of a muchness. When she said she was going to feel my ovaries I was like "HELP!!!!" but it was fine and I am pretty shy about my lady bits. Just one of those things you have to grit your teeth and get on with.

And yes lil, I had the internal scan because I had ovarian cancer symptom but it was the h pylori messing everything up.

Best of luck on the job michonne.

yikes juniper. I have no idea what h pylori is but better than cancer I'm assuming. and not an issue for upduffage apparently! has it sunk in yet?

Welcome Wilhemina!

Good to know how the Dildo Cam works (fx I never need it!) - you viroids beat Dr Goofle every time!

Min - I can't decide if I'm more excited about cycle or yours this month mine obviously - it's all pointing very much in the right direction still!

I've been obsessing on that flippin' Can You See a Line site!! I'm about 60% sure of a line on the test I took this afternoon, but it was about 20mins after time (and you're supposed to ignore after 10mins) so it could just be an evap line. Or my imagination. or I could be upduffed!?!

Aaaaanyway. Going to test again tomorrow with FMU. I'll be freaking out either way at about 8am tomorrow

Ooh, good luck on the job Michonne - when's the interview?! Threaten them with your stone cold stare and you're bound to get it! Or a Jaffa Cake bribe? Or just your general brilliance obviously
I couldn't care less about my job right now It's just getting in the way of all the fun stuff.

Aaah so dildo cam uses ultrasound to scan - I thought it was an actual camera, you know like a colonoscopy. But I couldn't work it out, because I thought there's not that much to see up there!

The auxiliary said it's so long to keep the sonographer's hand a "polite distance" from your body ... there's nothing polite about shoving a giant dildo in you, and let's be honest, most women have had several HCPs put their hands in most impolite places!

Miniooooon your symptoms sound interesting....

Ooh, good luck on the job Michonne - when's the interview?! Threaten them with your stone cold stare and you're bound to get it! Or a Jaffa Cake bribe? Or just your general brilliance obviously Awww thanks Ness

It's not for another few weeks, so plenty of time to shit myself do my research. I've been trying to suss out who I might be up against (it's an internal post), so that I can scare them with my stone cold ninja stare and threaten them with my samurai sword

I will keep you all posted! It's literally my dream job... wibble.

Ness is that your HPT that you linked to... does look as if there's something going on there

Yup that's mine! I do think there's something going on, but refusing to get hopes up in case it's just an evaporation or faulty stick, but if it's for real tomorrow's stick should be clearer...
Ooh it's like waiting to open Xmas presents - bring on tomorrow!!