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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Drop all things contraband, we don't want you're OPK's here. Grab a cape, stroke the unicorn and reserve your spot in the pity Jacuzzi...It's JUST SHAGGING THREAD 21!!

999 replies

lil1ady · 24/02/2014 09:16

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 20 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1961521-You-can-do-it-by-charting-analysing-testing-and-worrying-but-we-prefer-JUST-SHAGGING-PART-20?" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png">

Happy shagging shaggers!
OP posts:
Wilhelminanevillesdottir · 27/02/2014 21:31

I don't know your story Red but so so sorry to hear this. I won't pretend to know what you're feeling but definitely don't give up.

Spoil yourself silly until your phone consult. Chat to your doctor and then make decisions from there.

I know the others who know you will be along soon to offer far more appropriate words of advice and encouragement. Hope you're ok xx

JuniperJones · 27/02/2014 22:13

oh red what bad news Sad I am so sorry this has happened.

I don't know what to say. Just take it a day at a time til you speak to the doctor and see what they advise? lots of love xxx

Nessalina · 27/02/2014 22:28

Oh Red that is just awful, so so sad for you SadThanks
Look after yourself and don't give in! You're gonna be ok because you're awesome Smile
Can I ask - is it the new ones from your second cycle that have had issues, or all of them? I mean do you still have the embryo frozen from your first cycle? Really really hope so xxx

Redshoes56 · 28/02/2014 03:39

Thanks so much for all the support, ladies It really helps! nessa yes, we do still have one viable frozen embryo from the first round. So there is always hope. I think I have pulled myself out of the deepest dark of the funk and am ready to move forward. I will take it one day at a time, as juniper said, until I talk to the doctor. I suppose if they feel there's a chance I might have a shot at a better response, we'll give it a third go. If not, I think we will just transfer our one snowflake and see what happens.

Spoiling myself sounds like a great idea wilhelm...I am traveling in two weeks to visit a girlfriend I haven't seen in awhile. I asked her to make some spa appointments!

aylesburyduck · 28/02/2014 07:27

oh red Sad that sucks honey...

keep strong and keep believing

hugs xxx

MichonnesSamuraiSword · 28/02/2014 08:23

Big hugs Red been thinking of you lots.

That one little snowflake might just be all you need, waiting patiently for you to be ready for it.

If you feel like having a rant about your crap day, rant away. We're all here.

Flowers
Wilhelminanevillesdottir · 28/02/2014 08:32

Spa day will be fab. Are you allowed wine in the jacuzzi? ;) You sound more positive already which just shows your strength and determination. Hope your day goes ok x

lil1ady · 28/02/2014 08:40

ah red its good to "see" you but sorry you've had such bad news. you've come this far and waited this long and survived so don't give up just yet. I'd plan on what you are going to ask the consultant. like what is abnormal about them, and why has it happened. it could be something you can improve on. I'm by no means an expert but from the reading I've done its seems ivf drs tendcto forget the why and dont think outside the box for solutions so it's worth an ask. and you have your one snowflake. fx that one will work first time, when the time is right. and the fact you have that one shows its possible so there is no reason you won't get more next cycle, if that's a route you and the drs decide to go down.
chin up sista, we r all here for you Smile Thanks

OP posts:
JuniperJones · 28/02/2014 11:59

Keep going red, glad to hear you sounding ok today. I know I am like a broken record but may be worth a read of my old pal Zita, echoing what lil said about the doctors not always looking at the whole picture with IVF. I am no expert though obviously.

Been to Dr today to tell her about the BFP, she was pleased for us. Thought of you guys when we told her about DH's bad sperm test results. She said "It just goes to show it's all a load of rubbish!" so we laughed about that. Happy weekends all, stay relaxed, keep shagging! x

Martie1 · 28/02/2014 12:15

Very sorry to hear your news Red. Im only new to this posting lark, so don't know your story, but don't give up. It seems there is a massive support network here to help you through and those spa ideas sound fantastic.

I might have poas this morning and got a bfn. I knew that was going to happen but keep expecting miracles. I have been a complete btch to my dh. I broke down on him last week and was a complete btch y'day. He's great, as he always asks me whats wrong, and i tell him nothing, cause I don't want to stress him out too, but then he totally calls me out on what's wrong and gives me big hugs. I apologised last night to him for being a bitch and blamed it on what can only be my impending AF. I hate this whole thing, and need to get through the complete distress I am in at the moment in time. Words of wisdom ladies? I broke down watching the film Seven Pounds on Wednesday night.

Martie1 · 28/02/2014 12:18

sorry for the total sponging on support, but atm I just don't know who to talk to about all these things. All my married friends/family have kids, within a reasonable time of getting married, so I just don't think theyd understand. I cannot believe we're at this for over a year with no luck and I feel bloody daft for all the forward planning-with baby- that goes on in my head when there is no baby to speak of.

MichonnesSamuraiSword · 28/02/2014 12:31

Hi Martie you're in the right place for support.

Your DH sounds lovely and understanding. I get horrible PMS too, and I can be really impatient and short with DP. Once it's passed, it's worth apologizing, telling him it was the witch that made you do it, and all is well.

TTC can be very stressful, and we've all been though times where we despair of it ever happening. And yes, I sympathise with the trying to plan on the 'what if's and 'maybes'. It drives me nuts too - I'm currently trying to plan my career in the long term, and a big holiday in the short term, and a change of car... and I always find myself saying "well if we have a baby this year then we would need to do this...or we can't do that...."

You can't plan your life around a baby thats not yet conceived. And if and when you do conceive, you will be so thrilled that you won't mind having to change any plans you already made.

That's what everyone tells me anyway - hope that helps. Chin up Brew

Martie1 · 28/02/2014 12:46

That really does help, MichonnesSaumuriSword, thank u :) All you are saying is completely true. I too want to change my car but keep thinking of saving my pennies, as Im self employed and may need the pennies for when im on maternity leave, and breast feeding and off for at least 6 months......who am i kidding!

im now wishing for af to arrive, to start my positivity again. But your right, i can't plan my life round the baby thats not here. I need to book a huge holiday or something (if it wasn't for the million weddings I have to attend this year!). Jeese im a real moan queen today.

Wilhelminanevillesdottir · 28/02/2014 12:48

Hi martie. I think everyone does the forward planning stuff so don't feel daft. No real advice other than to try not to get obsessed with it all (easier said than done I'm sure). I don't keep preg tests in the house or I would have been constantly peeing on them. It makes it easier to avoid testing too early and seeing all those negatives.

If you have been trying for over a year, have you been to the doctor's to see if there is any help you can get?

MichonnesSamuraiSword · 28/02/2014 13:17

Moan away Martie

I wish I didn't have preg tests in the house Wilhelm - I bought a batch of 20 internet cheapies, and they're a blessing and a curse. When they run out, I'll resist buying more.

I'm feeling sorry for myself today too. I'm having a hard time with my family, which puts me on edge all the time. DP is taking me out tonight, and I was planning on wearing my best dress, lovely figure hugging LBD... but this morning I got excruciating cramps, currently sitting here with hot water bottle stuffed under my waistband waiting for AF to arrive Sad will probably end up wearing my 'slouchy' dress again then!

I think I deserve a chocolate biscuit for that!

Martie1 · 28/02/2014 14:16

Wilhelm, thanks. I said last month I was going to go see the doc but I didn't. Part of me doesn't want to face the prospect of hearing something's wrong. I will this month though, I will rip the plaster off (pep talk to myself going on here). The test thing is no good though, I don't have the willpower to stop myself from picking one up from random chemist etc. the one I bought yesterday was on sale- that always makes me laugh a bit- I can never understand why they are marked down, it's not like their seasonal and need to get rid of old stock!

Michon- sure you'll look lovely frumpy dress or not, and it's Friday! That's always a plus in my world! Hope your family stuff sorts itself out ????

Martie1 · 28/02/2014 14:17

Ok my last bit did not make sense- was meant to say- michon I'm sure you'll look lovely in your frumpy dress ??

Wilhelminanevillesdottir · 28/02/2014 19:28

It doesn't completely stop me mich. I may have used a friend's spare one last weekend Blush

You should just wear your LBD anyway and tell AF to get to f**k.

martie if there is any underlying issue, it doesn't mean it's something major. And even if it is, better to get the ball rolling don't you think? Although I am the queen of avoidance tactics. Was too scared busy today to pick up a test. Got my hopes up too much and can't bear the possibility of a bfn. Total wuss.

Redshoes56 · 28/02/2014 19:49

martie this is the place to moan! Nobody minds, we all do it -- it's powerful therapy, actually. Don't be afraid of the doctor. I wish I'd gone sooner. You can only plan so much before you drive yourself mad. Just live your life to the fullest, dealing with with each day as it comes. Despite my fleeting desire to throw in the towel (which I won't do!) I'm a big believer in positive thinking: You'll always have as much money as you need, yada yada.

My craptastic week started off with putting out a ton of fires at work; we just finished a big project, and that always means last minute garbage tasks and unexpected problems. All told, it was a successful launch, but I have many more gray hairs than I did beforehand. Especially because I come home at night and have to listen to my poor DH moan about how much he hates his job and idiot boss. He has another offer on the table, but he's nervous about taking it -- it's for a university that he has worked for in the past for many years, so in some way it's familiar and a bit like going home. But he left there for specific reasons and is afraid that the things that drove him away may not have changed as much as they assure him they have. Plus, the insurance he has now is incredible and has covered most of our fertility treatments. I can't stand to see him stay someplace he's miserable though, just because our stupid eggs and sperm can't do what their supposed to. It's a tough situation to be in and no decision is made.

With all that on my mind, I was really excited for my acupuncture appointment Wednesday. Naturally, I was running late and, in my haste, I left my purse on my desk. I didn't realize this, of course, until I was pulling up at the clinic a full ONE HOUR drive away. So I had no money, no ID, and not even enough gas in the car to get home afterward. Totally counterproductive to what was supposed to be a stress-relief experience!

The appointment was very good (more on that later) - and I even found a $5 bill in my coat pocket for gas so I thought my luck had turned....until I got pulled over! It was my own fault, I was looking down at my cell phone at a red light, which is a huge no-no. The officer was really snotty to me, but in reality it could have been much worse. He did not ticket me for not having my license or any of my other paperwork. He did give me a ticket for the cell phone though, which I'm sure will cost me a fortune. Ah well. That was all forgotten as small beans when I got the phone call about the embryos yesterday. Sigh.

I am feeling better about everything now, though. I chose to work from home today so I wouldn't have to interface much. I had a nice lunch with my girlfriend down the street who was also working from home; she struggled to get pregnant with her daughter, who just turned 1, so she "gets it" -- I can say things to her that I can otherwise say only to you all! She understands my utter rage at finding out that someone on my staff is pregnant (as much as I love her and am happy for her, I'm selfishly thinking about how it is going to impact me if and when I go out on maternity leave). So I got a lot off my chest. I can only move forward from here. There is no backward.

Redshoes56 · 28/02/2014 19:51

Typo edit! Their=they're, ugh, one of my worst pet peeves Grin

Martie1 · 28/02/2014 20:31

whilhelm, yes definitely better to get the ball rolling. When I said to DH last month about going to the doc, he queried whether we needed to. I actually told him, that it was better to go sooner rather than later. Clearly im great at listening to my own advice!!! I am going to do it next week, after AF arrives. No more stalling.

I hope Michon is having a good night out, my comments earlier look totally random. That's what I get for typing on my phone!

Red, sounds like you had a crazy craptastic week! Is your acupuncture recommended by doc or something you read about? Do you think it helps?

Its friday, and im about to crack open a big bottle of Wine cheers to my bfn and to brighter days! Happy wkend ladies

Redshoes56 · 28/02/2014 20:52

Cheers to you martie Wine

The acupuncture is both something I've been reading up on and something recommended by my clinic - they have an acupuncturist in twice a week who specializes in oriental reproductive medicine. Who knew?! I've only been once so I don't know how much of an impact it will have but I figure it can only help, not hurt.

I did feel very relaxed afterward, I will say that. I was pretty zen, even when I was being yelled at by the cop. It's kind of funny now!

RPopz · 28/02/2014 22:13

Happy Friday all... I'm also on the Wine Wine Wine !!

Nessalina · 28/02/2014 22:31

Happy Friday to you all! Smile
I'm having a very dull one, DH is out with pals, so I'm having a tonic water (no gin obvs Sad) and watching crap telly.
Going to a hen do in Nottingham tomorrow - how the heck do I explain the not drinking?! Blush

lil1ady · 01/03/2014 00:31

antibiotics nessa!

will catch up properly tomorrow, but agree about going docs sooner rather than later. its taken over 2 months for us to get my day 21 and dhs 2 sa's. dread to think how long a referral will take!

OP posts: