Drop all things contraband, we don't want you're OPK's here. Grab a cape, stroke the unicorn and reserve your spot in the pity Jacuzzi...It's JUST SHAGGING THREAD 21!!

[lil1ady]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 20 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1961521-You-can-do-it-by-charting-analysing-testing-and-worrying-but-we-prefer-JUST-SHAGGING-PART-20?" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png">

Happy shagging shaggers!

mich

@ carefully constructed persona

must keep up appearances!

Zing

Everyone thinks I'm a nice person, if they could hear how stroppy I can be with poor DP they'd quickly revise that opinion!! He puts me firmly in my place though, calls me a dragon until I snap out of it!

Zing that is hilarious. I live in fear of things like that happening! I once had a friend who was behaving like an idiot and I was so pissed off with him. I texted my other friend to tell her what he had been up to and called him a 'total cock'. Obviously then sent the message to him by mistake. Very cringe. But not as bad as announcing it to the whole of mumsnet.
I didn't know that was your job Min. Do you get to go anywhere exciting?

Kat I also don't keep a stock in the house to avoid manic POAS episodes! Can't trust myself.

I think may have stopped bleeding finally which means I can don my selfie cape right? Seeing as I have no clue when I will ovulate my plan is to shag like something for the next month and hope for the best.

mich hehe. Yes if you imagine me like that, keep going.. I'll not let you flown. I am tall though...
wil yep, I'm a hostie. I have been all over but staying closer to home shores now (thankfully)

956....who's starting the next thread...

min i feel sorry for you having to deal with ppl like me. I can't stay sat for that long and I usually end up in the way!

Pregnancy constipation. Great.

Rock, paper, scissors for starting the new thread? It's not got the luck it once had, we need to change that!

If you are feeling up to it wil, get that cape on! We can't let min have all the JSing fun, can we? My DH had been given his warning for the evening too - after OBEM though!

Ha Dulcet I had kind of decided I couldn't be bothered but you have spurred me on! Love that you have scheduled it round tv programmes. I'm thinking I'll definitely wait until Eastenders is finished.

I'm not going to start the next thread because I would arse it up. I agree we need to turn the luck round. Not sure how though.

To be honest wil, I could tape OBEM and have sex instead but he does the washing up while I watch it and am not wasting that opportunity! Haha!!

dulcet amen to that! my dh washed up tonight, must be a blue moon.

I started the last thread....and I doubt I'll be ending it with a bfp! but hopefully the next one will hold more luck.

we have had 5bfps in this thread tho!

Rock
paper
scissors
lizard
Spock!

at Min - I still don't get how that game works!!

I'd like to point out that I started the last Fred and got upduffed whilst it was going! I just got my BFP confirmed this Fred The luck has not run out!

5bfps wow! Didn't realise it was that many.

Spock vaporises rock
rock crushes lizard
lizard poisons Spock
Spock smashes scissors
scissors cuts paper
paper disproves Spock
lizard eats paper
paper covers rock
rock crushes scissors
scissors decapitates lizard

get it?

Not bad going really, 5! Probably getting a bit late to squeeze another in but see what the morning brings!

I don't think I've every started this one so if its still going in the morning I can give it a go? The pressure to think up a good title might scare me off though!!

something congratulations!!!

Mich my dh chucks me the pillow!

RPopz and lil OMG I laughed so much at vision of you being held up by your feet! brilliant! We have a ritual of going 'swim swimmers swim' ha ha ha!

DH said we should get a harness to hold me upside down.

min you're fooling no one with your sleep-peeing... ;)

dulcet go start one now! we're nearly there and u know how us lot talk!

zing/min never heard the lizard/Spock version

lala a harness sounds very s&m!

Zing that's amazing! Where's that from??

Do it Dulce ;-)

start...it...start...it...start...it!

Yeah go for it Dulcet. We probably need a mention of pineapple-themed pee receptacles in the title.

You're right, 5 BFPs is a lot.

Damn you all with your dish-washing husbands! Where do I get myself one of those?

I can't do it on the phone! Now everyone shut up til morning!

If someone else gets there beforehand though just go for it, won't be offended! Otherwise will dream up a title...

My washing up DH sounds better than he is. He never finishes it and it is his only job really!

rock paper scissors lizard Spock - it's from The Big Bang Theory

I love Sheldon.
There I've said it. I love his weird eyebrows, his ability to cut anyone down with a factoid. I love him!
I've a huge thing for nerdy boys. The glasses, the intelligence, the mind blowing facts!
Cooorrr

you lot crack me up....now dulcet wheres the new fred??

Will new Fred reference ROC, SOTM and the JSing like something? It can't help but bring on the bfps!