Drop all things contraband, we don't want you're OPK's here. Grab a cape, stroke the unicorn and reserve your spot in the pity Jacuzzi...It's JUST SHAGGING THREAD 21!!

[lil1ady]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 20 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1961521-You-can-do-it-by-charting-analysing-testing-and-worrying-but-we-prefer-JUST-SHAGGING-PART-20?" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png">

Happy shagging shaggers!

Eurgh, well my day started with a frantic phone call from DH who managed to bugger the car. Managed to be a mechanic today though getting it fixed, top wife!

Watched OBEM, no tears but felt a bit sad when they talked about infertility.

Can't see much in the latest photo ness but it is getting very exciting where you are!

Bummer, hope it's ok now Dulcet

OK, to cheer us all up, how about a game.

You Know You've been a JSer for a while when.....

...You think nothing of peeing into a little shampoo bottle several mornings each month, and feel pleased with yourself when it looks nice and concentrated!

... Examining your hoo-haa secretions and exclaiming "Oooh stringy!" is normal

... A bunch of strangers on the internet know more about what your ovaries are doing than your DH does

Over to you Viroids!!

Oh that's rubbish Dulcet! At least you got it sorted out. All I see is pound signs when my car packs in!!
I have been successful in my 80s mission! Big off the shoulder top in black & white zig zags, black leggings, pink leg warmers, pink heels, pink lightning strike earrings, and pink beads! I am soooo cool, NOT!

That outfit sounds fabulous Ness!!

Haha! Love it Michonne!

You know you've been JSing a while when...

...you take a picture of a pregnancy test and post it on the internet!

...you stop flinching at discussions about the colour of discharge

...you tell a friend IRL that you need a hooya and they give you a funny look!

You know you've been JSing a while when...

... you almost accidentally refer to your DP as "My DP" when talking to friends in RL..

... you revisit the pee stick you did this morning and consider posting it on the internet because, while you can't actually see anything... the magic 'Invert' option might reveal a hidden line, like invisible writing!

... you can never look at real egg white in the same way again

you know you've been a jser for a while when...
...egg white isn't something you want ti make meringues with any more...
...you're vocabulary consists if as many acronyms as real words...
...sex is no longer romantic, but all about bodily fluids, ovary pains and keeping your legs in the air!

... you were slightly disgusted, but not that shocked when you Google images of 'implantation bleeding' and find that people post pictures far worse than their pee sticks online!

...you think its a good thing to have a camera up your foof, or for dh to spunk into a cup for a man in a white coat...

...you telly our fellow viroids that you're upduffed before you tell your DH!

I weakened whilst I was in town and bought a First Response, and there is definitely two lines!!

Woooohhhoooooooo fantastic news ness. Symptoms please xx
Fabulous, really fabulous

nessa! OMG How bloody exciting! Are you ok?! That is a fab JSer quality by the way. lol. Am I the first reply too?! Lets see...

Damn you minion! lol. Congrats nessa, so happy for you. How will you tell him??

Don't get me wrong, still seeing £££ as I only managed to fix it enough to nurse it to the garage!

Love the game, ok:

You know you've been JSing a while when...

... you talk about your 'friend' who just got pregnant when really it's a lady you have never met on the internet

Yeah, I feel ok! Still got v.light brown discharge which has gone from being a symptom to being a bit worrying, so trying not to get too carried away. Still a long way to go!
It's silly, but seriously, having this thread and you guys to help me symptom spot has really made the difference - there is no way I'd have expected to ovulate so early, but had EWCM on day 11 (JSed) then OV pain day 12, JSed again day 13. And that was it! Just two shags this month! I feel like such a cheat
But I never even know about EWCM before being a JSer, so would have missed it!
Symptoms wise, not much - side boob pain when lying in bed, gone off tea, bit crampy. That's it!

Haha fastest finger first dulcet.
Well Fred 21 seems lucky so far!
You didn't cheat, if anything you played by the rules completely. Rest up kid.
Hugs to you x

Thanks Min, and to you too.
I can put all my focus into wishing for a BFP for you now!

Hold it for a month for me babe. X

Yay for Ness!

Who are we thinking is going to be next? Minion sounds interesting! Who has the next due date? Perhaps if we all will the next person to get up duffer! then maybe the magic of the internet will make it happen? she says in the hope that it might magically actually work!

Up duffer? Stupid autocorrect. I meant upduffed LOL

Nah spotti, it won't be me. I'm certain of that. More certain than I ever have been.

Can I join you all :)

Name: Martie
Age: 31
DCs: nope, hoping to get a fur baby if not a real baby later this year
Ttc since: Feb 2013
Currently approx 10 days dpo, AF due 3rd March

Had a good old laugh at the take away references above, i can totally relate. Feeling very blue today, as am confident I am not going to get a bfp :( so this thread has cheered me up.

As a newbie, can anyone explain the unicorn reference??

Whoo hoo! Many many congrats ness, super news!

I really hope you all do get upduffed this month and then we can all keep chatting. And obviously I want you all to get your BFPs too.

minion pretty much everything you've been saying is how I was feeling...it was only the cramping and ragey moments that got me & DH wondering...No other symptoms at all. The breadsticks are starting to play up a bit but I am trying to ignore it for as long as I can, hurts lying down in bed.

I also seem to have heightened hearing rather than smell, though sitting next to client in court today who smelt of perfume and fags did make me grateful it was a short hearing.

Welcome martie to the crazy pity party! Settle down, pull up a pew and dish out some hobnobs.
I've got iced gems, anyone gp fancy one?

Right juniper this may be tmi but hey! feed my crazy twot spotting please. So, did you get late EWCM with mad bad cramps etc?

Yes, minion. I got EWCM as I do one day before AF so was like, oh it's all over. Except it carried on and on and on. Not loads, but I don't get loads. I had a week of cramps and dashing to the loo at work with my handbag for a pad and nothing doing. The cramps are still pretty bad, on and off, but I've been reading the BESH thread and a lady on there said it can be due to dehydration and I do find drinking stops them.

And before I tested I was like "fuck it, it's never going to happen, I will do what I want!". I lay on my electric blanket when it was hot, drank wine and had pate twice in three days...I was literally thinking that I'd just do the test, get the BFN and stop wondering. I'd never had a BFP on an IC so didn't even know where on the test the line would appear.

It's really hard isn't it because it could just be a new weird way of AF starting or...a BFP! Don't rule it out completely, is all I'm saying.

Oh yes, lil, h pylori is an infection in your stomach lining and gives you bloating, weird pains and a dodgy tummy, which are also ovarian cancer signs. With my history, the GP just booked me in for a pelvic scan, probably because she could see my head was about to blow off with the worry!