Drop all things contraband, we don't want you're OPK's here. Grab a cape, stroke the unicorn and reserve your spot in the pity Jacuzzi...It's JUST SHAGGING THREAD 21!!

[lil1ady]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 20 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1961521-You-can-do-it-by-charting-analysing-testing-and-worrying-but-we-prefer-JUST-SHAGGING-PART-20?" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png">

Happy shagging shaggers!

Will, I get really intense one sided pains, where I imagine my ovary is. Don't get it every month but it takes my breath away when it does happen! I use a period tracker app (hope they're not contraband!?) which tells me when I should be ovulating. I usually get general pelvicy acheyness and constipation too (is that even a thing??!). Clearly not an exact science.

will I start getting niggly ovary aches just after ERTD but it all ramps up around day 13 (30 day approx cycle), slight dull ache above pubic bone, then a pulsating feel around the time the egg pops out. Also get tingly nips and a back ache too.
The. Joy.

Great news Cookie - I think those are very good odds, and you say you'll find out more on Monday? Hopefully it means they will monitor you closely to keep your mind at ease. FX for you.

Just back from the GP - probable wee infection, and her comment on the fact that I've been on waiting list for gastroenterology consultant for the last 5 months was "That's Horrendous". I told her that my main issue is that I'm just petrified that all these niggly things are affecting my fertility (she was, by the way, about 18 years old and lovely but not entirely sure she could sympathise). I said we've been trying for almost a year, although DPs sperm might not have been at full compliment for some of that time. She said they don't normally refer people for fertility tests until you've been trying for 2 years - I thought it was one!!

But she also presented me with a predicament. I've had 2 'day 21' tests which came back with low progesterone, and 'not quite normal' thyroid. Trouble is, on the months that I was tested, my period came early or late, so the test was not on the correct day. They want to do another progesterone test, so I've been temping to pinpoint ov to make sure I get the right day.

GP said that if my next test still shows low progesterone, they will refer me for an ultrasound scan to check everything's ok. But they won't do that until I've had another blood test.

Temping this month hasn't shown any rise to indicate ovulation at all. Soooo, do I book my 'Day 21' test knowing full well that it will be on the wrong day, and therefore will probably show a low result, which will trigger the referral for a scan... or do I wait another month and try and get the right day?? I just want to get the worrying over with and if there is something wrong, get the bloody ball rolling.

What would you do?

Mich I would definitely book the bloods and crack on with the scan, you may have to wait a while and best to get stuff lined up even if it turns out to be unnecessary. I am quite keen on as many tests as possible for elimination purposes tho!

cookie those sound like good odds to me xxx

OK Wil my ov signs are basically like a mini version of my ERTD signs, I guess some of the same hormones are at work, so whatever ERTD does to you, look out for it during ov too?

My symptoms are:

EWCM in the 4-5 days before.

IBS flare up - i.e. the runs, or just a v sensitive tummy as if everything is inflamed. This also happens to me during ERTD.

Skin break out.

Emotional wibbles.

Having said that, I had all these symptoms this month, but no temp rise on my contraband bbt temping, so Ive no idea what the hell is going on. Wonky cycle methinks.

Thanks Juniper yeah, I think a scan would be quite reassuring for lots of reasons, I'm starting to get really paranoid about there being something wrong with me.

I sneaked a look at the GPs notes screen while she was away from the desk, and previous (harsh abrasive) GP had made a note about when I called to tell her I'd had severe abdominal pain saying "patient sounded quite wound up"... damn right I was!!!

DP bless him, when I discussed whether to go for a scan with him earlier he said "Does it hurt?"... erm nooo "OK do it then". He really has no idea what all these things mean, but still patiently listens when I go on about my anatomy!

I'd book in for the blood test and get the scan as soon as. Might as well play the system if you can! 2 years is ridiculous!? If we're still ttc in 2 years I'll prob be having a nervous breakdown....

Yes, I had to hold myself back when the 14 year old GP kindly said to me "Well we don't really consider any investigations until you've been trying for 2 years".. I could hear myself screaming "2 friggin YEARS, I'm nearly Thirty-bloody-Six, I don't have ANY TIME TO WASTE!!"

Thankfully I managed to control the crazy and just smiled sweetly and went "oh wow".

Mich that is crazy! 2 years! I am pretty sure they investigate after 1 up here. Definitely do the blood tests and get things going. Esp if you're not actually sure you're ovulating.

Hmm I pretty much feel like that just now. Do you think I could be ovulating when I'm still bleeding? God I'm so sorry if that is rank and tmi. I read you're not supposed to have sex until you stop because it can cause infection so that would be a bit crap if I was. I am SO impatient.

That crazy girl I told you about has started her own campaign to get a pride of Britain award!!

Mich my DPs brother and his girlfriend lied to their gp ( makes me really mad) and said they had been trying a year and they got loads of tests done

It's two year trying here too. My GP said most people are pregnant within two years. I was a bit like but I think they'll do bloods and semen analysis at primary care level.

Any ideas for nice films I could watch tonight? I started watching Fast Times at Ridgemont High and realised it probably wasn't going to end well so had a google and I really don't want to watch it now. Back to Disney I guess!

Haha she sounds like a fruitloop something!

I always thought it was one year but I think just because I read it on the internet tbh.

NICE fertility guidelines (2013) state that investigations can be instigated at one year, but if unexplained sub fertility is diagnosed then you have to have been trying for a minimum of 2 years. Obviously if there is a reason then it should be offered earlier.

I've not been engaging in contraband activities (apart from he odd OPK! ) - I worked in reproductive medicine/ IVF for many years!

Sorry, hats investigations in secondary care - you're entitled to a referral after the first year

wil I roughly know where I am in cycle then feel the pain. Like a poke in the side.

hi all. did start playing yesterday but got distracted half way through. so I'm now way behind in replying so will try my best to remember what I was going to say. I promise I've read u all tho

something iv piac for 100s of those types of Ics and never had an evap. I think you are upduffed. reterst Sunday with fmu. then we can tell you your a kitten!

min glad to hear not all doom and gloom at the drs. your moving forward so hopefully that helps u feel better.

wilh my main signs of ov are ewcm up until and incl ov day then Nada from 1dpo, lower back ache and sometimes sharp pains, dull ache where I imagine ovary is, usually on my right side. im going to say apps aren't contraband so I'd say use one that you can track symptoms with to try and find a pattern. and if your bleeding you won't ov. bleeding is caused by the surge in estrogen coupled with higher progesterone. as the prog falls the bleeding will stop estrogen will rise lh trigger comes and puff u got an egg. I am not at all qualified to give this advice, but I learnt from Dr goofle! and some things Dr told me when I went in about my 7week ertd last year. sorry you got your bfn but pleased you'll be able to start again soon. I read some ppl have increased fertility after mc

cookie less than 1% is fantastic! as for the 10% that's still 90% in your favour. and a study on 29 women isn't a study! hopefully you can relax and enjoy now

as for drs I am lucky that I was registered to a really great Dr when we moved. I always see her if I can and waited for GWR to ring about dhs sa results after 2nd app as Dr who phoned 1st time was useless. she explained everything great and was really understanding and we didn't have to fight for the referral. I am never moving from this area unless she moves surgeries or retires! I think you definitely have to know your mind with drs though and tell them what you expect. as for the 2 year thing seems common. we only got referral now at 16 months because of dhs bad sa.

on the #nomakeupselfies couldnt resist the# after reading the comments here I actually quite like that its making ppl embrace their true beauty. I very rarely wear make up. it's too much of a faff. but I agree if people aren't donating its pointless and self absorbed. and as long as ppl nominated wjp don't want to do it donate I reckon that's their prerogative. my mum was diagnosed with cancer just after she found out she was pg with me so she and I are only here because of the work of these great charity's and the amazing people behind them.

and something why do you have this deranged attention seeker on your friends list? delete....DELETE! If everyone deleted her she'd have no audience haha!

well I'm bound to have forgotten something or someone so I will apologise in advance!

Ermmm I dont think they were evaps. The line ks there today.....

And its pink

Congratulations something!!!!

something yay! another bfp! congratulations x

Thanks Lil. I think I'm being a bit bonkers at the moment. That's useful info. I shall try to find an app and pay attention. Thanks All.

Aaargh I knew it something! Congratulations! All that shagging has paid off!

Im being cautious until I ' miss' ERTD then I will get excited. Doesnt stop me doing a due date calculator though

Congrats something!!! rubs up against for luck

Will it be a christmas sproglet?? ;-)