Drop all things contraband, we don't want you're OPK's here. Grab a cape, stroke the unicorn and reserve your spot in the pity Jacuzzi...It's JUST SHAGGING THREAD 21!!

[lil1ady]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 20 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1961521-You-can-do-it-by-charting-analysing-testing-and-worrying-but-we-prefer-JUST-SHAGGING-PART-20?" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png">

Happy shagging shaggers!

thanks Mich - that's a really lovely mantra

Think I just feel so crap as I'm just beginning to admit to myself how long we've been trying for. You know when you try so hard just to put everything to the back of your mind?

Sorry, didn't mean to derail the positivity

Love the idea of an office job to do with animals - sounds very rewarding!

jumiper everything crossed for you! how exciting!

What CD are you on fox? My friend has just announced they're having twins. It would be mega hard work but I'm a little bit jealous.

Yes it's the triathlon thing RPopz. Sounded brutal with the bad weather. Can someone kick me out of bed please, I really need to get up.

Yeah fox I know what you mean about finally admitting to yourself that there may be something wrong and you're not going to be one of those people who 'just got pg straight away without really trying' -I have a friend who came off the pill and got pg in the first month, wasn't even aware of trying. She's fond of telling me 'just relax and it will happen' ... Grrrr

I need to get out of bed too, I'm in a hotel and have a long journey ahead, oh well at least I'll get a nice breakfast!

How's this for crazy though - normally I take my temp as soon as DP gets up in the morning and wakes me, but without that point if reference, I've woken and taken my temp no less than 4 times, each time convinced it was time to get up. Aargh. Oh well at least it seems I've ovulated (either that or it's really hot in this room!) so I can book my day 21test again

fox sorry you are feeling rubbish. how long have you been trying? are your cycles usually regular? I ask because last month I had a really long cycle as I ovd on cd25, this month I ovd cd14! so don't loose hope. and opks are not an exact science. its possible to miss the surge. do u get ewcm/ov pain? try and stay positive. have u been referred to fertility clinic yet?

juniper sending positive scan vibes your way x

Ach, it'll be fine. I'm just having a down time. Now on cd15, I think I normally get ov pain but then maybe I'm imagining it as the OPKs have been negative? I also have bowel problems so perhaps the pain is related to that? Came off pill in December 2011 - I'm trying not to think about it!

On the plus side, I got on the scales this morning and I am officially no longer obese, just overweight! So that's a positive start to the day!

Brill news about your temperature Mich! And hey, 4 times is better than none - hopefully it gives you a bit of peace of mind iyswim.

Er, Wil, are you nuts? That sounds like a hell of a lot of effort lazy arse who should probably still be obese

Howdy Lil - how you doing today?

wil ha ha!!! Not that bad no :-) although dh is a Fifer! East coast all the way - I'm from the 'burgh. You?

Positive vibes to all today - it sounds a bit like everyone's downhearted.

Sorry to hear you're feeling low Foxy. I won't tell you to get a grip as sometimes I think you need to just wallow! Its difficult to start coming to terms with the fact that you're not going to fall quickly... my best friend conceived her first by accident because they "knew they were going to start trying on X date so just didn't bother being that careful in the run up to this date!!" and then accidentally conceived her second just before she went back to work after the first maternity leave!!! (Not popular at work) She's always been like "oh you should hurry up and have a baby" and we were always saying noooo not yet! And now I'm like yeah, its obviously not as easy as you make it look... Sigh.

Great news on the weight loss too, thats a positive step at least!

Super jealous of your hotel breakfast Mich!

Morning gals. Well I feel like a prize turnip.
The friend who I work with who I mentioned yesterday (same issues but further along) just told me she was due to start IVF and went for a smear and now they've found abnormal cells, so she's having to 4-6 weeks for the results, poor lass. It put an end to my wallowing I can tell you, when I saw how strong she was being.
Getting nervous about what GP will say tomorrow though.
I feel a cyst may have something to do with it.

7/8dpo here and im so hungry! I cant satisfy it. Off to find more food

Ooh I always get that something! Nom nom nom

Back home after epic journey and meetings - don't feel jealous about my hotel breakfast, it was anaemic eggs and then just as I was about to tuck into some toast the table next to me were served smoked haddock... heave. The smell put me right off there and then!

Fox I have bowel problems too - I suspect endo - and I get dodgy tum when I ovulate and when I get ERTD. It's like everything just gets sensitive and inflamed. So for me, dodgy guts is a sign of ov.

You're right fox it does. I am clearly nuts and far too broody. I had newborn cuddles today. Too cute. Fab news on the weight loss.

Ooh I'm a westie Lala. You can keep your weird east coast chippy sauce

Hope your friend is ok Min and that your appointment tomorrow goes well (or as well as it can).

My digestive system goes bonkers with my cycle too. Isn't that a normal thing? runs off to diagnose self with Dr Goofle

Min there is absolutely no reason to feel like a turnip (although the expression did make me ) Just because someone else is going through shit it doesn't make the shit you're going through any more pleasant.

What time is your GP appt tomorrow?

Mich thank you - that's what my guts are like too. You've just made me feel a bit more normal

However, on the haddock front, I do have to disagree with you

RPopz it's so bloody frustrating when the whole attitude is "just do it". Er, yeah, ok but we're trying.... Some people are just so fucking clueless.

Lala do I read it right that you're an Edinburgh lass? Which part? My whole family originate from there!

Well, the obligatory scan photo is on FB and I can report that I was the first to offer my congratulations. Which is fine. But now I keep getting updates whenever someone else "likes" or comments on the post.

Urgh, fuck it. I'm off alcohol, I may as well just go and shave my legs and pounce on DH poor git

Wil I'm so jealous of newborn cuddles! But yes, you are clearly a few spanners short of a tool kit - exercise? For fun? Get outta here!

Good luck at the GPs tomorrow Minion, hope it goes well! Xxx

I get a dodgy tum at AF time as well... I always thought it was normal tbh! Recently I have been noticing I feel pretty constipated around the time that I think I'm ovulating but I thought that was prob just me haha. Bodies are weird!!!

Ah good luck tomorrow Min. Hopefully it'll be something and nothing x

Hellooo!

Min good luck for tomorrow - sending you lots of positive vibes xx

I am OVER this ERTD - I have teenage skin, bloated stomach and a temperament teenage girls would be proud of. Dh got told firmly to back. the eff. off. Bless him - I now have wine and pizza, he's a wee star.

RPopz so many of my friends sneeze and they're pregnant - it can be frustrating as they're always the ones asking when it's going to be me. However I've got plenty of other friends who are having awful times ttc - the flipside. Ignore the keen beans and tell them you're taking your own sweet time...

Fox well done on the weight loss! Sorry you feel low...hopefully being on here helps a bit. I always thought I'd get pg quickly - probably something to do with spending 15 years trying not to and panicking over every missed pill. Hell, I wish I knew then what I knew now, I wouldn't have spent all that money on the MAP, it's not that blooming easy!

My family's from different parts - we moved around a bit, lived in Longstone and Colinton then moved south to England. I moved back for uni and since until a couple of years ago. We have a house on the east coast still. Love my beautiful home, so homesick... Only place in the world where I feel home, feel a bit of a foreigner just now and it's quite lonely ttc without friends around, hence I'm on here :-D

Indeedy - go pounce! God - I feel your pain with the photo, I love a good scan photo but I've got one friend doing the daily countdown to giving birth on Faffbook. She's a good 4 months off still...eek!

wil ha ha! I've got plenty of westie pals, I used to live in Glasgow too - love it! I am so blooming homesick just now. It's so daft but even though I'm not pg yet I'm already panicking about my children being born in Scotland. Is that completely daft? We're down here for the near future and it freaks me out a bit... I really wanted my kids to be born in Scotland, but our circumstances changed and I was offered a job :(

Anyone else watch HIMYM? 2 episodes to go

I think dodgy tum around ERTD is normal, sorry didn't want to freak anyone out. I get other symptoms (blood clots in my poo, sorry TMI) which is what makes me suspect Endo. I'm going for the camera up the bum test soon, so I'll get to see exactly what my insides look like, just like in the film 'Inner Space'

Fox I think you can turn off notifications for a particular post, so that you don't have to see all the "Awww congratulations Hun" boaky shite that will ensue. I'll go and investigate FB and see if I can remember how to do it.

Min good luck tomorrow, and don't assume the worst. No point worrying over what it might be until you know for sure says she who has self diagnosed and already written myself off

Aww sorry you're homesick Lala - I know how that feels, and it's horrible. If it makes you feel any better, I came home to be near my family, and they do my head in now. Sometimes I wish I was a little further away, just for a while!

Have never got into HIMYM - have I missed out on something really good?

mich camera up bum? Good luck with that - I'm sure you'll be fine x Love the thought of Inner Space, do you remember watching that when you were a kid and being totally grossed out by the kissing bit where they swap saliva?

Oh my god you said 'boaky shite'. How I love that! The amount of scots I come out with at work and no one has a scoobie what I'm on about.

HIMYM - you have to watch it from the start to get the 'in' jokes. Love it. But cue many arguments with BBT fans over which is best. Never seen BBT so I'm firmly in the HIMYM camp.

Best line 'Lily doesn't know I'm high...'

Might watch the HIMYM box set one day, always fancied it.

Yes, loved 'Inner Space' as a kid!!

I'm Welsh, not Scottish, but 'Boak' is a standard MN term. I like swearing and always keen on learning new words!!

Really? What a great term for MN to adopt - fantastic!

Swearing is underrated. Shite is one of my favourites. Gentle enough to use at work, satisfying enough to make the point.