Drop all things contraband, we don't want you're OPK's here. Grab a cape, stroke the unicorn and reserve your spot in the pity Jacuzzi...It's JUST SHAGGING THREAD 21!!

[lil1ady]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 20 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1961521-You-can-do-it-by-charting-analysing-testing-and-worrying-but-we-prefer-JUST-SHAGGING-PART-20?" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png">

Happy shagging shaggers!

Aah right. I'm recording it but still not plucked up the courage to watch any!

Thanks Ness. I'm feeling shitty tonight. Going to work tomorrow will sort me out though.
Great news Zing. Have you a lot to pack and sort out?
Good luck with the scan Juniper, it's so exciting!

Torturing myself with OBEM. Might JS tonight for the sake of it

Zing wow congratulations to you too! Fantastic for you, good luck with the move!

I'm a bit pissed on celebratory Champers, so I'm braving OBEM for the first time. It usually makes me cry instantly, but I'm strangely detached this time.

Going to counteract it with some Zombies now though...!

Seriously mich how good was TWD last night! I've taped (how very 90s) OBEM to watch another day.
Thanx all for the good vibes and support.
It really does mean a lot.
Im flying with a friend whose having similar issues except she's further along than me, today, so it'll be good to talk to someone in rl too.
Husband is being blase as per saying 'well as long as you're physically healthy; that's all that matters'.
I know that's correct but have a little sympathy man!

Right, no TWD talk please! We are doing a really good job of avoiding any details awaiting it to come onto normal telly. If you are going to start talking about it I will have to leave!

Champagne headache this morning mich?!

Sorry Dulcet, I thought it was on normal telly? I have no idea what channel it's on, DP sorts out the recording and I just watch!! Promise no more TWD talk (Min come back to the TWD thread!!)

Slight Champagne headache and dodgy curry tummy for me. Got a long drive ahead of me this afternoon so that's not good.

Back to ttc thoughts, I've been temping and according to that, I'm on CD16 and haven't ovulated yet. Yet another first for me, at least I'll know to expect a late ERTD this month so it won't send me in a spin. I've decided not to try too hard for a couple of months just to settle into my new job anyway. I'm not not trying but I won't be obsessing or worrying if I miss the crucial time for JSing.

I'll still be on here cheering you all on though

It will be on Channel 5 eventually, it does move to normal telly but they show it on something else first - fox maybe? Not sure. Same in our house though mich, DH looks after the telly recordings and I just watch! Zombies will take priority though when it's back. We will have to watch that the night it is on so that he can talk about it the next day.

Argh, just tried to look it up without finding stuff out. Risky!!

Oh I see, sorry again then Dulcet I hate it when people post spoilers, so I'd hate to unwittingly do it here!! I'd stay away from anything online about it, in case you accidentally see any spoilers. Suffice to say it's been a good series so far.

I do love a bit of Zombie action, although it gives me nightmares. Watched World War Z the other night, that creeped me right out!! although Brad Pitt made up for it he was rather fit in it

Just told some work colleagues about my new job... it's starting to sink in that it's actually real! I suffer from low self esteem with my work (although you wouldn't believe it to talk to me), and I really thought I'd missed the boat with this career path, so this means a lot more to me than just a new job. It's a new life path.

Slight bummer though - my current post is temporary, so I'd always planned that if I got pg now, I would just quit work and be a SAHM. Now I've landed my dream job, I won't be doing that!!

Blooming heck, didn't check for 24 hours and a lot happened. Forgive me while I catch up...

Wil :( your doctor sounds really unhelpful, particularly when it's obviously a tough time for you. Sending you hugs. Give yourself time to grieve and feel sad, it's a rubbish thing to happen xx

Lotsa going back to the Homeland! Not exotic but oh my god am I excited! We've not been back in ages. Hoping for a Scottish conception so will be JSing like mad.
Seeing lines where there may or may not be lines is one of my favourite hobbies. The other day there was a smudge on the window. I kept think 'it's a line!', oh no it's a smudge. Two seconds later 'ooh there's a line!' no it's still a smudge...

Min another massive hug for you - of course you're not broken, you just need some support and that's what we're all here for x. So so many women go through exactly these sorts of experiences when ttc. My friend who's just told me she's pregnant has been doing ivf for five years because of pcos and suffered so much, but she got there in the end and the baby is going to be so well loved. Let us know how you get on.

Mich congratulations! hooray! Dream job awaits :) Definitely JS in the boots!!! I know how you feel about the specialist job - I too work in the field of animals and have a very specialist role. I was over the blinking moon when I got my job and still love it now. Good luck!!! I used to be a zoo keeper! Not anymore sadly...

something any news? x

juniper how exciting!!!

zing hooray! More good news!

This is a good thread, everyone chats about more than just ttc. Love it!

I am so very relieved to be ERTDing, I'm not a patient person and waiting was doing one's head in. Now I know I'm back in the game! Apparently I'm not allowed to don my cape until after ERTD so I get the next few days off.

I love love love OBEM - class show! Doesn't put me off one bit. Didn't watch it last night as dh doesn't let me. Will watch tonight.

Just had to look up what TWD was! We're addicted to HIMYM, if anyone tells me what happened last night I will cry. Had the end of B.Bad and Homeland both ruined.

Have a good day!

My doctors are actually ok Lala, I haven't spoken to them. It was the midwife at the EPU who pissed me off. I know it's so common and stuff but you wouldn't mind a little bit of advice about what to expect.

Work actually sucks today. It's going so slowly and I have a headache which refuses to bugger off. I'd quite like to be a zoo keeper, although not in winter, I hate being cold.

Are you from up north Lala?

You'd probably be bored being a SAHM Mich. I think it sounds better in theory. Part time is what you need.

I don't like zombies. Watched the first series of TWD but it really freaked me out. There are no shows I love on at the moment. I miss Homeland.

wil yes I'm from the land of Irn Bru and fish suppers - currently striding about in a vest top because it's about 8 degrees down south, amazing!

Work does suck - I'm working from home today so being pestered by a fat hairy cat, which is at least better than being in the office! :)

Ha ha ha, me too. I meant up north as in chookterland (or north of Perth)?!

Nothing much new here just very tired! Had some bloods last thursday and the receptionist called and said the doctor wants to see me. Think im 7dpo or maybe 6

Nothing interesting to say. Just checking in xx

evening all, sorry for not replying last night, I passed out.

Thanks for all the excitement about the scan, I'm feeling rather gloomy about it tbh so nice to be reminded that it's exciting for "normal" people! I think if there's a baby in there with a heartbeat and the correct size I will be gobsmacked! This time next week we will know.... (ps I get an early scan to make sure the molar hasn't recurred so it'll be 9 weeks, fingers crossed. Also got my appt for 12 week scan. It's all going too fast!)

mich I think I've guessed it - you're going to be the next TV dog trainer? We'll watch out for you, just please don't wear those weird boots like that Victoria woman! (are you her???! )

I am currently addicted to Modern Family on Netflix which is great. Haven't watched any "normal" telly for ages, but I do want to watch that Davina thing on Thursday.

xxx

Arf at me being Victoria 'kinky boots' Stilwell!

I'd love to be a dog trainer, but alas, nothing as exciting as that! (I do consider myself bloody good with dogs though) nah it's just an office job to do with animals.

Hope everyone is feeling good, PMA to you all

Arrrgh I love Victoria Stilwell!! (And her weird fashion choices olololol)

Everything crossed for you Juniper x

Ooh, mich, will you be working with the Kennel Club? I'll stop now, I am doing some serious work avoidance tonight...

& thanks rpopz, trying not to lose my mind this week, the sanity phases in and out!

All fingers and toes crossed Juniper. I want to see the Davina thing too. It sounded horrific.

Hope you're ok something.

Is it about that triathlon thing she did? Saw her on Jonathan Ross talking about that a couple of weeks ago. She's one brave lady! DH is currently monopolisingthe tv in any case!

Ladies can I just have a little self indulgent whinge please?

I'm so sorry, I just need to get this down.

I've done OPKs for he last 5 days and they've all been negative.

And now our closest friends have just announced that they are expecting dc2.

Just one tiny bit of hope, one positive something - even if it's just a positive OPK. I know I should step away, I'm not taking it particularly seriously, just wanted to test this month to make sure what should be happening is happening.

But hey, looks like it isn't

Urgh - has anyone got a grip they could offer me?

Oh Fox I would offer you a grip, but that would sound like I was judging you, and all I want to do is offer sympathy.

You're very welcome to offload, rant away and feel sorry for yourself here, we will listen. It's shit when others get pg so easily, but I'll repeat our JSing mantra - babies aren't rationed, just because your friend is having one, doesn't make it any less likely for you to fall pg too. I know you know that, but it's worth remembering. It's shit, you know you ought to be happy for her, and it's hard to be when you feel shit like this. You'll feel better soon.

Juniper fingers and toes crossed for you.

Haha, I don't work with dogs at all, I adore them but sadly they're not part of my remit. I work in the environment rather than with domestic animals. would still love to be a zookeeper though

Oh and fox I've been temping for the past two months and this month I'm on CD16 and no sign of ovulating. Never gone beyond 14 days before, So I'm in the same boat as you.

Just think if you weren't OPKing, you'd be none the wiser. Sometimes a little knowledge isn't always helpful. Hope you get a positive soon