Drop all things contraband, we don't want you're OPK's here. Grab a cape, stroke the unicorn and reserve your spot in the pity Jacuzzi...It's JUST SHAGGING THREAD 21!!

[lil1ady]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 20 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1961521-You-can-do-it-by-charting-analysing-testing-and-worrying-but-we-prefer-JUST-SHAGGING-PART-20?" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png">

Happy shagging shaggers!

Sorry, silly phone. I meant to say ha ha, thank God for you lot, you cheer me up!

That is a bit shit Mich. She's trying to be considerate but she's over thinking things.

I could stay off but I don't get sick pay. Also it means I'm at home with my daughter again all day which may be just as much work and she'll be bored senseless. I'll see how my night goes. Don't have a fever or anything, it's just like the most hideous period pains ever.

I kind of forgot about the stilton, but I feel bad because it was a present, so I'm determined to eat it. I'll just scrape the worst of the mould off the top and devour it before I get upduffed. See, I knew there was a good reason it didn't work this month!! (that and the job interview)

Broccoli & Stilton soup, or mushroom & blue cheese risotto? Mmmmm

I recommend painkillers and hot water bottle Wil

I hope you can sleep ok. (big hugs)

you can freeze it you know mich

if crumbled you could chuck it on top of your next pizza

Excellent advice thanks ZIng I'll do both (freeze some and pizza for some)

I second the recommendation for a hot water bottle. They work wonders on my stomach cramps. I find the trick is to use one of the large ones (not the newfangled mini ones), make it really full, and let the weight of it press down on your stomach. It just melts the pain away.

Then transfer it to your back when your tummy gets too hot.

wil im so sorry to hear your awful news

Thank you all for welcoming me. Off to jump DP in a bit for the 2nd time today once at DC's nap time once at bed time!

Sorry was a typo error. we have gold cup horse racing this week. gets absolutely full of Irish (no, im not irish though) and lots of celebs.

ive heard of Stilton on hot crumpets, never tried but does sound lush! !!

.

oh, ot looks like i have broken the fred. sorry! well hope everyone is having a nice Thursday. I'm patiently waiting for the witch, then I can have a drink or 2 tonight then have blood test tomorrow.

Hope everyone is being careful in the fog (if you have fog) it's really thick here.

Not broken saz, everyone enjoying the sunshine hopefully. That's what we have here now anyway. Yay!

Oh I like going to the races, very exciting.
Are you tired today somethingwitty? [Wink]

Well I'm at work with a hot water bottle strapped to me! Actually glad I came in as it keeps me busy. It's fine as long as I don't stand for too long. Although I am looking forward to 6 o'clock arriving. Anyone got any interesting Thursday news?

Exhausted managed a quickie before coming yo london late morning. Took the single buggy and the sling. Never again.

Last few days ive had what I presume is ovulation cramps?! Never had that before!

Blimey Witty!

Me and DH did 3rd night in a row last night so he's getting a night off tonight haha.

No Thursday news. Been in meetings and shoving biscuits in my face all day.

Glad works okay Wil. There is def something to be said for keeping busy. X

Its how it worked last time ( twice a day around what I think is ovulation) so we are sticking to it!

Just found out my friend is having a baby girl. Very jelous.

Hello everyone, i just wanted to updated you all on my scan today, it all went well and i have a happy healthy baby with a new edd of 23rd September!

Hi, can I join in?

Name: ZylaB
Age: 36 - ancient I know
Any DCs?: cats, but I'm officially not a crazy cat lady cos I'm married!! Honest, I'm not!
TTC since: Sept 2013

So you spend all your life being sure you've found the right person (we got married in sept and had decided to wait until then) under the scary idea that any unprotected sex will make you pregnant first time!! ... And then it just doesn't happen...

I'm old, diabetic ( we had a month or 2 off altering meds and making sure sugars were perfect), ridiculously broody, jealous/ weepy every time I see someone pregnant and prone to psycosomatically making my ERTD late out of pure hope alone. I think that covers the basics :)

*spend all your life waiting to be sure

First post and typing fail.. Yay me :)

Ooo erm stats

Name: somethingwittynot
Age: 20
DC: DS1 age 2 years 1 months ( almost) DC2 13 months
TTC since: march 2014

Is your OH also 20? That would explain a lot! ;-) x

Hi Zyla!

Brilliant news Cookie!!! So pleased for you. I'm going to hope your good karma rubs off on me xx

RPopz hes 23 nearly 24

Haha bingo! I remember when my OH was 24... now he's 33 he's er, slowed down a bit bless him!

Hi Zyla welcome, sounds like you'll fit right in.

I'm with you on the waiting forever to find the right person, then realizing that ttc isn't all that easy after all. Try being with someone through your late 20s, early 30s, only for that to end, then after thinking it will never happen you find the perfect man, only to find out after you've been together over 1 year that he had a vasectomy years before. Oh yes that's me folks. (he's had it reversed now, hence me being here!)

Then try being told - on Mumsnet of all places - that 'perhaps you shouldn't have waited so long before you decided you wanted a baby' !!!!!! (I've also being asked on MN 'Oh, so you're not a mother - why are you here then?' That poster felt the sharp end of my forked tongue I tell you!!)

God, sorry for the bitter rant. I'm knackered and have a long evening of cramming for a job interview tomorrow ahead of me!

something I realize this is way different from your experience, and all I can say is, well done you, if Id had my time again I would have done it early too. You go girl with your twice a day sessions!

Forgot to say congrats to Cookie and fingers firmly crossed for a wonderful spring and summer ahead for you. A September baby, how gorgeous!