Drop all things contraband, we don't want you're OPK's here. Grab a cape, stroke the unicorn and reserve your spot in the pity Jacuzzi...It's JUST SHAGGING THREAD 21!!

[lil1ady]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 20 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1961521-You-can-do-it-by-charting-analysing-testing-and-worrying-but-we-prefer-JUST-SHAGGING-PART-20?" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png">

Happy shagging shaggers!

hi everyone! I don't know if anyone remembers me, I was on a bit at xmas and agsin in jan when I had a massive barmy with dh. I'm sorry I don't post very often but does it count that I still follow? I do bulk reading and will send a better post in a min once I'm up to date.
but in the meantime I have 5 mins I can give an update on me, then later will say hi properly. sorry sounds very self centered and im sorry about that.
Anyway, me n dh been ttc for 27 months, never even a sniff at a bfp. finally after huge row went to gp for tests, which show although he has some lazy swimmers there are so many there's still enough to do the job, and all my hormone and testosterone (!) levels are good and I did ovulate, so still no reason why I've not had the joy of a positive yet!
I'm having to have another set of tests (the one at beginning and 1 day 21) then he's more than happy to refer us. in the meantime getting on it like sonic (well after af on thurs and 1st blood test).
can't believe how nice gp was, even after I blubbed like a wooss!!!
Surely I've been patient enough by now? ah well next week is the start of another month/opportunity and positive thoughts! !
Thanks all for reading (that's if you haven't scrolled past mevlol) and now I feel i have something to add to the thread.
capes ahoy!!!

I Remember you saznut, welcome back!
Sorry it's such a crap time at the moment but it's good to get the ball rolling again.
You're a hero for going 27 months and still positive. Pic wish I had your PMA. Can you send some? I'll send cake in return and you can stroke the lucky unicorn too!
What are you upto today then?

I've just done a driving lesson. It's getting easier, I'm still panicking a bit when turning onto a main road from a minor, especially other nutters who forget there are learners out there and just speed past all impatient like.
I'm just off out for my day 3 myself, may bring up the excessive symptoms I get every month, I think I may have a hormone imbalance somewhere...

well I don't know where the pma comes from. its all lies, otherwise I would have visited friend with 2 wk baby but I just can't. ..yet...

also why there's no way in a million years I'd watch obem

sounds like you've come along way with the driving. that's awesome. just remember just because everyone else is in a rush, doesn't mean you have to be.

so glad to see some positives, well done ladies.

For the rest of us the next shag will be the'one', I promise.

now, where's that unicorn?

Hi Saznut I remember you, glad to hear things have sorted themselves out for you. It's such a bloody difficult time for people long-term ttc, PMA can be hard to come by sometimes.

I too cannot watch OBEM. It makes me burst into tears instantly. Luckily DP can't stand it so there's no temptation to watch it. Last night's comment "Yeuch, not watching that while I'm eating my dinner. I'd rather watch Zombies" just about sums it up really.

Well done with the driving Min - I got told off for being too hesitant when I was learning, but it's so hard to judge people's speed before you turn out in front of them. I'm still really slow, I must drive people mad behind me at junctions when I won't pull out unless there's miles to go until the next car approaches. Just take your time, and if anyone gets het up about you spending an extra minute or so pulling out - well that's their blood pressure that will suffer, not yours.

I've had a day-long dispute with bloody Next online about a delivery, I'm in utter panic about what to wear for my interview on Friday, which is totally disproportionate and irrational... should be spending time actually reading important stuff in preparation, rather than worrying about what bloody outfit to wear!!

Hello, i thought i would pop on and wish everyone good luck getting up duffed!

Min i was so sure it was your time, so annoyed at the stupid witch, on your behalf.

Dulcet Fx that your still in the game

Saz i remember you too, this is the best place you can be, everyone is so lovely here.

facebook scan photos are all over my news feed recently, seen 3 in the last two days!!

Min i don't want to scare you, but i have been driving for a good few years 14 and still get a bit nervous turning onto roads at junctions (mainly going right), especially on ones i haven't been on before. There is a road near me which i have to use every week day for work, and turning right is a nightmare, it is really busy and you feel really pressured to get out cause there is so many people behind you. (i crashed there in Jan 2013) But now i think f**k it i'll go when i am ready. Also everyone was a learner at some point.

Just a little update on me: 12 week scan on Thursday, followed by a genetic counselling appointment after, i am rather nervous, but as i still have loads of symptoms i am hoping this one has stuck.

Miss you all loads
and [love]

Lol Mich and lil I once kicked DH out of bed for not JSing me in ov week because he was "soooo tired" ... I was convinced he was doing it on purpose!!

Hi Saznut and cookielove!

How is everyone this evening?

welcome back saz good to see you. I admire your ability to get to 27months before tests! I'm a mental case after 17 and have been since 6 sorry you don't have any answers yet but hopefully you will soon. or preferably a bfp instead!

min you never really Pearn to drive until after you pass your test. when you are really truly on your own its somehow easier. I know that sounds bonkers but its true! while you are learning you are learning to pass the test. and after that you can make 10 point turns, avoid parallel parking and go to the end of the road to turn around instead of reversing around a corner! for now just stay calm, take everything in and ficus on what you are being told and you'll be fine. was that helpful? I'm not so sure now!

cookie good luck for Thursday. I have every faith you will be fine. you've been through a lot to get here, you deserve to get your happiness now make sure you come and tell us how you get on before you leave us to graduate fully!

mich relax! you are the perfect candidate for the job I'm guessing and you're just going in to see if you like them on Friday! and you'll find something to wear. in my book as long as you got a good pair of heels on you'll rock any outfit because the confidence will shine through! and its only Tuesday, plenty of time to cram!

rpopz lmao!

Congratulations scoob! This thread is definitely lucky so far.

Welcome fox and gingerbread :)

mich you are going to kick ass on the interview!

I didn't realize I disappeared for as man days as I did. We had our consult with the RE and have decided to move forward with a third round of IVF. The abnormal embryos from last time aren't necessarily a sign that I won't have a good outcome next time; it is just more and more common as we age of course, and are really an egg issue more than a sperm one, so at least DH doesn’t have to feel totally alone with his poor morphology -- we are both broken!

All kidding aside, I am encouraged and ready to go. Last cycle I was dealing with an insane amount of stress. This time I am:

• Taking time off of work. I get a ridiculous amount of vacation time, so I may as well use it.

• Taking DHEA and CoQ10 supplements. Can’t hurt, might help.

• Going for acupuncture. So far, I’m really enjoying it and do feel it relieves my stress.

• Meditating.

• Staying positive and remembering we do have one good snowflake.

I do have a bit of sad news, though. We had to say goodbye to our big orange kitty yesterday. We took him to the emergency vet on Saturday night because he just didn't seem right. They originally diagnosed him with a urinary blockage and he seemed to be doing better with the catheter in and was awaiting surgery to remove bladder stones. However, yesterday morning he had a stroke, was having seizures, and could not breathe on his own. We got there in time to say goodbye and then had to let him go. Everything happened so fast. Even when you know you are doing the right thing, it hurts like hell. I have been crying for two straight days and snuggling with our other boy (I'm not sure if he's figured out yet that his brother isn't coming home).

Sigh. We have spent the better part of the last two years grieving: my brother in law, my husband's grandpa and uncle, children that aren't even born yet and now our sweetheart who was there for us through everything. It is devastating. I hope this round of IVF ends up being our bright spot.

Awwww Red, that's awful news I will be a mess when our kitties go, they're just such amazing companions. At least you got to say your goodbyes - I hope his bro can keep you comforted.
Glad to hear you're feeling ok about round 3 - we've got everything crossed for you xx

Good luck for the scan cookie, you deserve for everything to be awesome this time round!!

Ooh good luck for the interview Mich!! I agree with Lil - high heels and confidence!

Hello again to Saz! Glad to hear you've got the ball rolling

Oh red its heartbreaking isn't it. Im still upset about mine being in Germany all alone after he ran away cuz my mom got another one. he was my baby.
Just know u did the right thing and he's up there chasing as many birds as he likes, eating catnip till he's rolling around drunk and hanging with all the cool cats.
you gave him a great life x

cookie hi hi! Pma sent your way for 12 week scan. ill be thinking of you. Kinda knew it wasn't my time but as soon as ertd has left the building ill be back on the symptom spotting and 2 week twotting.

Come back and let us know how you get on x

Morning viroids

Red I hope this next round of IVF brings your loads of little snowflakes

Mich good luck with the interview, take some unicorn luck with you!

I had to tell my boss about my BFP yesterday as my job involves a lot of heavy lifting. She spent 8 years trying to get pregnant before having her DC through IVF. You really never know how much some people go through to get a BFP. or how nice your scary boss can be

Keep shagging viroids my boss is living proof it may take time but will happen eventually.

So sorry to hear about your cat Red :-( I've got three furries and I'll be devastated when they go too. Hugs xx

Oh no my phone only loaded half your last post red I'm sorry about your kitty, they really do leave a big hole in your life when they go don't they.

Oh Red I'm so sorry. People without furbabies will never understand how much they mean to us. I hope you can take some comfort in knowing that you did the right thing and gave him a gentle and compassionate ending. for you.

Good luck Cookie hope it all goes well, and please update us!

Furry glad your boss was understanding, it really is a revelation when you see someone with DCs and find out the true backstory isn't it.

I'm trying to stay positive about the interview (takes my mind off ttc anyway!), but having a bit of a wobble to be honest! I ordered some fabulous boots, which arrived yesterday and are waaaay too small. Felt like Cindarella's ugly sister trying to force my massive feet into them! Hastily ordered another pair, which I'm hoping will arrive before Friday, eek!

Hope you're all still enjoying the sunshine and keeping those PMAs going.

Ok Viroids, pass all wine, vodka, soft cheese (and did someone say battenburg) over here. This little bean is not for sticking so I have come back to join you. Need a little bit of moping time and then some definite cheering up!

Have you been over lots of interview questions Mich? I find feeling prepared in that way calms the nerves a bit.
Sorry about your cat Red. I used to have cats growing up, always very sad when one passes.

Sigh have taken the day off work as it's really fucking painful. Other half has also taken the day off and is looking after the wee one which is v helpful. Hope it's all over with quickly.

Oh Wil I'm so sorry.

If it helps, I have some really mouldy blue stilton in the fridge that has been there since Christmas... want some?

Glad you've got your DP there to look after you, and lots of cuddles from your little one. Take good care of yourself today.

Interview questions? Not really got to that stage yet, still cramming my head with all the background info, which is probably a pointless waste of time since it's me and my skills they're interested in, not how much info I can stuff into my head in two weeks. All that is so minor compared to what you're going through today, but if it helps you take your mind off things, I need all the advice I can get!

My heart goes out to you.

Oh red, I am so sorry about your cat. I lost my old boy in November, had him since I was 6 and I was just devestated. I am glad you got to say goodbye though. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is let them go. I wasn't very good at that in the end.

Sorry to hear about your bean too wil. Hope you are taking good care of yourself. I prescribe a nap and some pain killers.

Mich - the worst interview questions for me are 'what is your biggest weakness?' and 'why do you want the job?'. I just find them really hard. I am bout to interview someone in 5 mins actually, I will remember to be kind.

afternoon ladies
whil - so sorry for your news, definitely time to do naughty eating and drinking things.

red - well done for the positive ifv plan, your an inspiration for me if that's where I end up going, definitely feel less scared of it after reading everyone's experience.

lil - hows things going with you? I haven't seen anything for a bit, unless I missed it. sorry, it's really hard on the phone!

furry - I don't think I've said hi to you before, it's exciting to see things going well, and for COOKIE I have everything crossed for tomorrow for you.

Rpopz - I laughed at your strop with dh. mine fell asleep on the sofa after a few drinks, so I ACCIDENTALLY left him there as I was annoyed he was drunk whilst im behaving, plus can't stand the smell - JD honey - best nights sleep for ages! !

mich - when I went for my job the only advice I have is (and its probably not the best) is if you're going to 'wing' it, then believe in what you're saying. they'll be none the wiser. plus the boots not fitting, thats a sign to stick to your favourite old faithful's as you know they won't end up killing your feet!

sorry if I have missed anyone and thank you min for letting me meet the unicorn! I am expecting af tomo, which will be ideal then I can have blood text on Friday, so knowing that, my body will tease me and not start til fri pm, which will mean I cant do the tests until the following month as Monday will be too late. whats the betting?

speaking of bets, irs all going on this week where I live, which means nightmare for town (and having to go for bloods lol) any gamblers out there?

Oh Wil, so sorry. Hugs and stilton x

Oh wil so sorry to hear that.

Nobody else would touch the battenburg so we can share it. x

Oh wil I am so very sorry [we need a cheese emoticon]

Thanks for all the kind words about my boy. I love the image of him rolling around drunk in endless fields of catnip!

Good luck cookie. Keep us posted.

Haha since Christmas Mich? I'm actually not so sure about that one. Not great on interview advice. I tend to talk piles of crap when I'm nervous

Feeling mildly better. The midwife on the phone kind of bugged me. She kept saying "it's just so early" as if implying I was a bit mental to care at this stage. She also kept asking me if I was sure I was even pregnant and it wasn't just a late period.

Does anyone know if this kind of resets your cycle. Like should I expect ERTD a month from now?

Not sure but hope for simplicitys sake it does! Do you think you'll start trying again right away or take a break for a bit?

Oof. In a sense it would be just a late period if you weren't monitoring the situation which obviously you are and for a reason! Silly midwife. Am cross for you!!

Hugs and in date cheese x

Hi all hope I can re-join? Was a just shagger back in 2012 and back to JS our 3rd! X