Drop all things contraband, we don't want you're OPK's here. Grab a cape, stroke the unicorn and reserve your spot in the pity Jacuzzi...It's JUST SHAGGING THREAD 21!!

[lil1ady]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 20 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1961521-You-can-do-it-by-charting-analysing-testing-and-worrying-but-we-prefer-JUST-SHAGGING-PART-20?" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png">

Happy shagging shaggers!

lil Im going to treat this month as the very beginning . So am booking in for my three day for tomorrow.

thanks nicjuniper , i was feeling strong . now Im wobbling a bit tho.

My lonely synchro pee revealed nothing. BFN on a FR as it was all I had. That little panel is just so white when it's a BFN! Now I pissed on a branded stick I expect ERTD to be here by lunchtime. Another day and this is the longest cycle I've ever had!

At least the sun is shining though!

dulcet chin up. ur not out yet

min what's day 3 for? I didn't have that

so after what I posted last night the cbfm went from low to peak this morning ffs. on day 13. the earliest I've ever ovd is cd16. I can confirm ladies that contraband is stressful. the jsing way is best. for those who dont know my dh wanted me to try the cbfm and I hate it. poas gets really old really fast

dulcet that proves it then! February was wank! But still not out, am crossing things for you still x
lil day 3 tests for egg viability I believe. Fsh and a whole host of acronyms I have no clue about.
I've ordered more contraband, I know it's against them there rules but I don't think I can go through what this cycle has done to me again.
Please don't kick me out!

Is sun still shining where you all are? It's lovely again here. Well, from the warmth of my bed it's lush. I'll brave it later. Off to get some uber strong painkillers.
The cramps from hell woke me up, literally the worst I've ever had. I imagine it's just like labour, went to the loo and half expected to be dropping a sprog into the porcelain throne. I would have loved one of those 'oh I didn't know I was pregnant"' pregnancies too.
I honest to god felt like my back was going to set on fire, it became so hot and heave, right in my arse cheeks.
NOT impressed. Stoopid witch.

So a walk in the sunshine may lift some moods and clear some cobwebs I hope.

What bout you lot. What's your p.o.a for today?

How's the Fred going? Is it lucky? Any BFPs?

Yeah, month of love my arse min! Now I just want her here and over with! Feeling particularly grumpy. And tired. I don't feel great at all actually and this isn't helping. I feel a meltdown coming!

Month of loving taking the piss more like mate!
I was a bit ragey last week too. It's passed which is good as the husband nearly ended up with chopsticks up his nostrils.

March is our month kids... Christmas babies all round. It's my favourite time of year, it's only fair!

Hissy fit due in 5....4....3....2....1....

A good friend just sent us her scan photo. Got married in Nov, due in Sept. We were the only childless ones in the group and now it will just be me. Happy for her, blah blah blah. But really just feeling very sorry for myself!

This week is shaping up to be shit so far!

Hugs Dulce xxx

dulcet that's shit. just remember the mantra... them being pg isn't stopping u getting pg.

That is a good mantra lil! Difficult to remember these things at times I guess x

I know, I know. I am normally much better than this. It's just the timing of the news whilst I am still waiting for my ERTD!

Keep smiling!

its so hard I know dulcet. I found out sil was pg the day before ertd showed up. I knew she was coming and she arrived smack bang on time. it certainly made it harder to take the news.
some months are more difficult than others. and you get to a point where you do give up even though ur still trying. you go through the motions but always expecting AF and not a bfp. and then u realise you gave up and think well that didn't work either and want to shout at all the idiots who told you to relax and it will happen. I generally feel better now that I know there is a problem with dh. I guess it makes it OK to have a reason and a plan of where to go next rather than just round in circles or cycles!
if I remember right u had day 21s etc. have u been referred now? when will u hear?

Thanks lil, its just harder some months than others. I've had all my tests, so has DH. First clinic appointment done, just awaiting second appointment in May with the dildocam. More waiting, always waiting! I'm the problem though, not him. I'm the let down.

Sorry, I'm bringing the Fred down! Ill sort my head out, just venting!

dulcet I've pmd you x

Hugs Dulcet it's shit on a stick isn't it.

Sorry some of you are having a crappy time, hope you can put the disappointment behind you soon and look forward to a fresh new cycle.

I'm having a really bad day too - I'm suffering severe stomach pain, what I think is either IBS or a wee infection, have had it since Saturday. I went to a work meeting today, and it was all I could do to stop myself from screaming in pain or passing out from the shock. To top if off, the guy who is interviewing me for new job was there, So I had to be on my best behaviour when all I wanted to do was shout "OOWWWW FUUUUCK that hurt!"

Now curled up on the sofa with hot water bottle, dog by my side, while DP makes my dinner.

And eagerly awaiting my favourite Zombie programme ... aaaaaand relax.

Chin up lovely viroids.

And today I was talking to a guy who is the brother of a friend of mine. I was asking how she is, and he said she's fine, but struggling to conceive. (which I thought was a bit mean of him to broadcast, but there you go)

I found myself saying "Oh she'll get there, given time!" all reassuringly - how come we can dispense the positive attitudes for others but can't do it for ourselves!?

Glad u didn't tell her to "relax and it'll happen" mich!!

well its cd13 and I'm icing. wtf is that about. its far too early. I normally ice cd18 onward! best go find the enthusiasm to DTD!

You've a keen bean there lil, s/he just wants to get started. Go on, don a cape and get busy sista !

haha. well the pineapple print cape has made its second appearance of the month tonight min! but why oh why is it sex at icing time is so uncomfortable! its like a built on contraceptive mechanism!

who knows, maybe a keen egg and early month swimmers are the recipe we were waiting for. fx!!

It bloody is isn't it!!? "Ooh ah ooh ah, careful!" isn't that alluring either is it...

And the hip cramp... Just me?
Ouchy indeed.

It is more uncomfortable, isn't it! Why is that?! I feel really differently inside. Not neccessarily painful, just uncomfortable. Maybe that's an indication our timing is good!?

so glad its not just me. no not sexy at all!
I practically had to force myself on dh this morning. icing day is probably today and I'm going out in a month until 10.30 tonight! also not sexy "we must DTD now because it will be too late tonight we'll miss our chance!"

Oh I know all about ruining 'the sexy' with demands such as "If you don't do it today, in two weeks time I'll get my period on your birthday and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT"

I find that I get a libido surge when ERTD is in the house, but it's gone by the time I'm clear to go.

I also find that the EWCM is fine in the run up to, and possibly during icing, but that after it all dissappears. So trying to DTD afterwards just in case, and to fit in with zita wests bloody 10 shag rule just becomes difficult - friction aint conducive to easy JSing.

Which is why I'm considering pre-seed, as presumably it sorts all of that out.