Drop all things contraband, we don't want you're OPK's here. Grab a cape, stroke the unicorn and reserve your spot in the pity Jacuzzi...It's JUST SHAGGING THREAD 21!!

[lil1ady]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 20 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1961521-You-can-do-it-by-charting-analysing-testing-and-worrying-but-we-prefer-JUST-SHAGGING-PART-20?" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png">

Happy shagging shaggers!

Oh min, sorry to hear that. But at least the waiting is over. Get yourself a treat when you pick up your painkillers! Sounds like you have the making for some targeted DTD next month too.

Feeling the pressure... this is 18th cycle though so don't hold your breath for me. Not even seen a BFP! Just seem to have skipped from a stupid 23 day cycle last month to a longer 32 and counting on this month!

No, I'm fine. Honest
I somehow just knew. For once I'm glad she's here, I can, at least, do my pants up. The bloat this month was awful. I flew with a girl the other day who said she could tell the difference between her ERTD and preg cramps as ERTD was in her thighs and groin area.
I get it too, so when my thighs were sore yesterday, I knew she was winging her way to me.
Feb was a mental month. Perhaps Cupid had been a bit busy with other folks last month eh?
Everything for a reason I must keep chanting.

Hello!

I'm new, but wanted to introduce myself. We are ttc #1.

I am currently temping but only to find out when I ovulate (short cycle syndrome!) but once that is cracked I'll be stepping away from all all chemistry experiments.

Does that mean I can join in? I've made a cake...

Oh bollocks!!! I really thought this could be in for you Min, but you knew it wasn't didn't you? It's amazing how well you can get to know your own body on this TTC trip.
Onwards and shagwards!
Fx for you Dulcet
Hello gingerbread! Ignore me, I'm just a nervous hanger-on post-BFP!

Anyone with cake is more than welcome to join this nutshop!
Welcome but I advise you, and this is only for your own good, the unicorn doesn't like gingerbread, gives him terrible bottom burps you see. So just hand over the sweet stuff and I'll find a way to dispose of it for you..
Mwahahahahaha.

ness I was looking forward to being a neurotic mess and have you holding my hand! Next month, next month.
Yes it's really strange how it happens. Takes the bloody guesswork out of it I suppose. I'm quite in tune with my body as it is, so nothing should surprise me anymore.
I can tell when I'm going to be poorly from how thirsty I get and whether it'll affect my chest or nose.
I'd like to think I'd be able to definitely say 'yup, I'm upduffed'... Not that that looks likely anytime soon.

Ah Min I'm so sorry. Turns out you really do know your body well don't you. Well done you for not caving in, and I'm sorry we got your hopes up.

Sounds like you're able to spin this into a positive - at least you do have a good handle on when you're icing, and are very aware of your body's signs. Well done you, and I hope you're able to pamper yourself today.

Welcome Ginger - can I have some of your cake please? I'm feeling really ill today after I stupidly ate a chilli bean thingy last night, which has kicked off my IBS and gave me stomach cramps all night. Bugger.

michonne not a problem poppet! I didn't allow myself to let you get me excited haha, so it's all good in tha hood!
Today's plan whilst husband is still away, is chocolate ( even though it's a lent related ban... That lasted long eh), movies and gammon in coke zero!
The doors and windows are wide open, washing is outside, sun is shining and birds are singing, nothing will bring me down today! X

It is a lovely day isn't it, glad you're staying positive. I'd say you have a full exemption to eat chocolate during lent. It's for medicinal purposes.

Just had a blow - DP was supposed to be popping in to work for a couple of hours before returning home. He's just called to tell me he's having to stay the whole day as one of his staff has resigned. Which means the weekends off he had just started to have this weekend... are over before they began. I'm pretty pissed off about that, he's been so stressed recently and I worry about him.

I'm supposed to be working on my interview preparation anyway, so I should crack on with that rather than procrastinating!!

I hate it when work gets in the way of weekends. The bloke is in charge of various engineers afound the north and has to have his bloody work phone on all the time in case of emergencies.
And they're forever sending me emails so his blackberry flashes red non stop.
It proper gets on my wick.

Sorry Min that's shitty. Glad you're feeling positive though.

I clearly live in the wrong place. It is most definitely not a lovely day here. Clouds and drizzle.

Ach Min that's crap, sorry love.

Why the hell would you even think to give up chocolate for lent though? Are you mad, woman?

yum! thank you muchly!

Thanks everyone for being so welcoming. I had no idea the cake would go down so well. I'll try a battenberg next time.

Congrats Nessa!

Why do I need a cape?

I'm just starting the tww. Not feeling optimistic this time though. Anyone else with af/bfp due around 23/24th?

Hi Mrs Gingerbread!

Sorry to hear about the evil one Min, good excuse for allthings winey and chocolatey though!!

Having a bummer of a weekend here, 2 day headache (come back alcohol and caffeine, all is forgiven!!), skanky neighbours waking us up at 5am, OH has hurt his foot so can't even walk in the sunshine... puppy is going stir crazy! Oh and back to work tomorrow after a lovely week off. Hmph.

Still watching crufts though... ;-)

2ww is crappy :-( I was just looking at my period tracker thingy and thinking "ooh nearly ov time already!" Funny how this half of the month goes so fast and the other half so sloooooowly.... Fingers crossed for you Gingerbread x

Forgot to welcome gingerbread - sorry! Good call bringing treats, we are suckers for naughty things. Do you do cookies?? Hope your TWW goes quickly at least.

We just had a failed trip to pub for lunch. Hour wait and had to get back for rugby... Apparently. So making a pub meal at home now!

hello lovelies welcome to the thrwad gingerbread. Please can you bake something else as well as battenburg I dont like marzipan

currently lying on the sofa planning...we have FINALLY sold our flat!!

Now...where did I put the john lewis catalogue??

Ooooh love a bit of John Lewis!! (Bank account doesn't)

sorry to hear Minion

Great news Aylesbury You must be so relieved!! Have you got your eye on somewhere to move to?

Ah minion I am sorry. You sound strong though and fx this cycle you will catch it. I am willing you on with all my strength! And the rest of you of course.

hi gingerbread welcome. is there any cake left? I too don't like marzipan tho

minion did you get your day21 blood test done at the right time in the end then?

the jsing has finally commenced on cd12! would be typical for me to have a 28day textbook cycle this month!

stupid phone I wasn't done!

congrats on selling the flay ayles very exciting!

mich how has the interview prep gone?

Well done Ayles

I like marzipan, can I have it all?

Aargh interview prep hasn't gone well today - I had terrible IBS and the only way I could get comfortable was to lie flat on the couch all day with a hot water bottle on my stomach. Not conducive to working.

I'm a terrible procrastinator and find I work better under pressure, so I'm hoping this week I'll get the fire under my arse to get my head around it all by Friday!

Going on a work event tomorrow where my potential future boss will also be in attendance... need to find just the right mix of chatting to impress, without sucking up...!

Eeeurrrgh what happened to the weekend!?