Drop all things contraband, we don't want you're OPK's here. Grab a cape, stroke the unicorn and reserve your spot in the pity Jacuzzi...It's JUST SHAGGING THREAD 21!!

[lil1ady]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 20 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1961521-You-can-do-it-by-charting-analysing-testing-and-worrying-but-we-prefer-JUST-SHAGGING-PART-20?" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png">

Happy shagging shaggers!

sausage hi! Welcome. Yes to folic acid whilst trying. My doc told me off for getting bored and stopping.
Glad your an oracle, mich and I need one right now.

... And probably a Hooya or two, too.

Well im out- ERTD arrived this morning! Had a crappy wkend but had a long chat with dh last night and we're both on the same page, ready to head to the doc and start sorting this out. Feel like my dark cloud, which I could not lift last week, is rising now. All i needed was a good chat with dh.

Any tips on what I should be actually saying/asking for when I do see the doc? I think we're going to try SMEP this month. I have not wanted to do anything so planned, but needs must.

Red that 'friend' needs a good pelting with eggs as recommended above. Totally insensitive. I would never wish major misfortune on anyone, but hoping she gets a flat tyre on the way to a beauty treatment that's pre-paid sounds about the right amount of pain to be inflicted. Come on universe!

Wilhelm many congrats. I really hope my joining mumsnet has the same outcome for me too! Wishing you a smooth ride until your precious little person arrives.

Ooh sausage you could be useful. How are you with lottery numbers?

Thanks martie. That's great about your chat with your husband and that you're prepared for the doc. Glad you're feeling better.

I'm currently doing housework avoidance. I need to get off my arse and tidy up.

gives Wilhelmina a kick up the bum and tells her to get on with tidying up

actually, who cares about tidying up. Have a and some and chill out. Cleaning can wait!

Sorry to hear about ERTD Martie. Onwards and upwards I suppose. Good to hear that both you and DH are ready to ask for help from the doctors. Fx they can sort you out soon x

Sat in a purple hotel on my todd wondering what to have for dinner. Something I can grab and eat hidden in my room. Any recommendations viroids?

Sorry you are out this month martie, but sometimes a big chat makes you feel better anyway. Glad you are feeling more positive.

sausage, get yourself some frolic acid straight away! You are supposed to be taking it whilst TTC to help baby brain development and prevent risk of some diseases, can't remember what exactly.

um. so. I forgot to chase dhs results this afternoon. they didn't phone like last time. so I'm thinking it could be good news, for him at least. and I can't phone tomorrow so I'm going to have to rely on him to do it. a mam who hates using the phone! I'm such an idiot! lol

here here on the frolic acid! they suggest you start taking it 3 months before you conceive. well 16months should be plenty then! I don't get too worried if I miss the odd one after this long! I knew someone who had about 5 MCs at 11-12 weeks and it all turned out to be because she was deficient in folic acid so be warned!

Aaaaaaaannnd I'm out!

Yes, I got my hopes up, have never gone over 28 days before, but there we go, yet another one to add to the list of things my body does to get my hopes up only to come crashing down.

I got up at 4am to POAS as well, as my sleep was disturbed with the excitement that it might just be....

ERTD arrived right in the middle of my full day course. There wasn't even tea to commiserate with. Ah well, at least the TWOT is over, fresh page and all that.

DP was lovely bless him. He said he was scared of saying the wrong thing last night, because he didn't want to get my hopes up, but didn't want to sound negative either... so he just didn't say anything! I told him he must always say what he feels and it's ok to feel lots of different emotions, and he won't upset me.

Min it's all on you now

Dreading second day of course tomorrow when I'll probably get the full on cramps and the runs, when I should be curled up with a hot water bottle. Just great.

On a brighter note, at least I don't have to go to my job interview holding a big BFP shaped secret in my head. It's probably a good thing.

Sorry this post is all about me, will catch up properly tomorrow. Keep smiling viroids!

Ah! Rubbishness Sorry to hear that Mich! But you're so right, good to be able to just focus on the important job stuff this month, I expect your head would've been all over the place with a BFP! Fx for next month

Oh mich don't worry I'll not be far behind you. Let's go for that job with no bfp ness to worry your mind, once they've seen how fab you are and can't imagine the business without you, offer it and then you get employed... Sods laws WILL step in and a bfp will be delivered first class!

Had the strangest dream last night. I was in an American supermarket going for dinner (as you do) and needed the loo. There were two and I chose the one called the HCG toilet. Thinking it was a sign, I went in. And it had free icing paraphernalia and free pee sticks. So I went ahead and picked up one, proceeded to pee and got an instant double line.
So I sat on the loo thinking 'holy cow, WTF' and then I realised I was still asleep so woke myself up.
It's getting bad now. I've never dreamed about it before (apart from the recurring twin girl dream). So now I'm obsessed and it's sneaking into my nighttime too.
Great!

haha min, that's crazy! I like the idea of the JSer crazy toilet though, maybe theres a business model in that for us! We can't be the only ones that would opt for a HCG loo with free piss sticks! We could charge them to spend a penny but give the sticks away for free.

Sorry you are out mich, and with such shit timing. Shows sods law does work though, just not always in the way we want. Just use the time to sulk slightly but rest and be refreshed for the next cycle. All eyes on the job until then!

We'd have to make sure non JSers used it. Maybe put a keypad on t'doora and have a secret pin!
I was very weirded out I tells ya. Told the husband this morning and he said 'seeeee I kneewwww you were obsessed'... Considering we've been at it for 14 months and this is the first time it's entered my subconscious, I think I'm ok..
Git.

Woke up to a new spot today.
Fabulous.

Sorry... No, non JSers allowed in our bog of truth.,

Bog of Truth

Bog of Truth is an amazing idea! Why not just have the pink unicorn guarding it? He's a tough cookie when he needs to be

This time tomorrow Rodney, we'll be millionaires!
Girls, just in from my driving lesson... Turns in the road today. Please tell me that manoeuvre isn't necessary to driving in real life... If I could have a scary hair raising, eye ball popping out of head emoji.. Then this would be it!

bog of truth lol. Can it be disguised in an amazing shoe shop that gives u free shoes if u get a bfn?!

Three point turns are never necessary and completely impossible if u drive a big machine. My dh calls getting his own way on the road 'acting thick'. I do a lot if that, it works perfectly!

Hate to break it to you Min, but turns in the road are probably one of the few manoeuvres that you do tend to do a bit in real life! But they're a lot easier with no one breathing down your neck!! Reversing round corners was my nemesis, and I've never had to do it IRL since test!

Worth saying that mine are more like 6-7 point turns

Yeah, the number three in the three point turn is the only bit you won't use. In real life it doesn't matter how many times you turn the wheel to get the right direction. Parallel parking was my worse.

There should defo be a give away if you get a BFN. Then it's win win. Best loos ever! How about they are free for JSers and £2 for the others? They can help keep the unicorn in... Whatever unicorns eat!

and contribute towards the free shies dulcet!!

sorry you're out mich hopefully its because the job is going to work out for you!

minion maybe the dream is a symptom

well dh phoned drs about his results. they got them on Friday but had been marked "as previously discussed" so they didn't phone us! dh isn't sure exactly what she said was written on them but it seems they could be same as last time. he's arranged for my Dr to phone us on Thursday so we should have more answers then, and who knows maybe the OK to be referred! once again the NHS is shitting on us jsers though! and so the journey starts....

Bog of truth with free shoes. Love it!

Yeah min I am always turning in the road. But agree that reversing round corners is almost never necessary. I still can't parallel park.

I'm behind lil. What would the same as last time mean?

Oh and thanks for my kick up the bum spotti - it was marginally successful (not really but I loaded the dishwasher before having a nap).

sorry wil, dhs last semen analysis showed he has plenty of swimmers (60m I think) but they are all deformed or lazy. I think it was 3%motility and 4% morphology. so if his results are similar again I guess we can label ourselves infertile. at least it explains why nothing has happened 16 months on!