Drop all things contraband, we don't want you're OPK's here. Grab a cape, stroke the unicorn and reserve your spot in the pity Jacuzzi...It's JUST SHAGGING THREAD 21!!

[lil1ady]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 20 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1961521-You-can-do-it-by-charting-analysing-testing-and-worrying-but-we-prefer-JUST-SHAGGING-PART-20?" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png">

Happy shagging shaggers!

Red who the hell invites their friends over to help put up furniture anyway? Be glad that it was a group email so all your other friends got to see her insensitivity in its full glory.

Juniper my dog has been acting super clingy and attention seeking towards me in the last few days. I did wonder whether he could sense 'something different'.... because clearly a dog would be a much better detector of early pregnancy than a HPT...

Good thing I bought chocolate yesterday. I also bought percy pigs in marks (2 packets) so am having a chuffing pig out.

ERTD should be done by Wednesday. OH has been informed that we will be on it like sonic from the minute ETRD stops. I haven't had any complaints from him

Thanks for letting me know I am not crazy. Unreal. I did have to have a talk with her once before (she is my only good friend who did not come to my brother in law's funeral and I told her I was extremely disappointed. We moved on but it still wasn't cool).

mich - animals are very perceptive! I think it is highly possible for a dog or cat to know before the hpt.

Mich that made me laugh. Have an image of everyone going out to try to be sniffed by dogs to find out if they're pregnant.

Red she sounds AWFUL. How self obsessed can you get? The God's Plan comment would have sent me over the edge if I'm honest - not trying to offend. I find that most people are sympathetic to others' problems for a finite length of time. I have a friend with on going mental health problems. Other friends get really annoyed with her and end up bitching. I just don't understand it - they know what her problems are and they have to either accept them or not. Symptoms don't suddenly switch off to suit whatever plans the other girls have.

God I love Percy Pigs. Especially the tails.

I have no idea what a Percy Pig is. Tell me if this is something I should be indulging in???

Jelly/foamy sweets from M&S mich. I prefer a bag of haribo personally.

Had all the moods today. Was feeling very lovey earlier, then had a spat at home about cleaning so was angry and now feel sorry for myself on the sofa. Who'd be a woman, eh?!

wil no offense taken, I was a bit put off by that comment too, to be honest, but let that one slide. You are right - it is really hard for some people to realize that some problems don't just come and go, whether it is convenient for them or not!

I don't know what a Percy Pig is either, but I assumed it was some fabulous Brit thing I am not exposed to :) Big thing right now in the states is that its Girl Scout cookie season! Trying not to eat them all at once....

Percy pigs sound like they would make me heave... you can have 'em Ayles and Wil

Red you live in the land of Reece's Peanut Butter Cups, and pancakes with maple syrup for breakfast. God I love the States!!

I've gone into rapid symptom spotting frenzy. I'm 1 day late, boobs hurt like hell and nips permanently standing to attention, stomach cramps, and now I'm knackered and feel sick.

ERTD is either going to hit me with a wham this evening, or maybe my Dog was on to something.....

Can I have a Sunday night HOOYA! Please?

HOOYA! Tho I don't feel qualified to dish those out considering i am actually having my ertd and still want to piac!!

Hooyas where they are needed! Hope is allowed though, you can hope just don't be mental!

Sorry red, I meant to add before... What a total dick! I mean, I know she's your friend but what a friend that can just overlook your pain like that! Do you think you will have words? Not sure how you can leave it or how best to bring it up either.

The original percy pigs are a bit sickly but the pig pen cable ones are great. I'm not fussy though. Reeces peanut butter cups, peanut butter m&ms, haribo - I'll have it all. Ooh plus a red velvet cupcake from the Magnolia Bakery.

A Percy Pigs schism! I love them, but I'm an originals girl through & through. red I'll gladly send you a bag, I'm a pusher when it comes to Percy pigs.

dulcet I so know what you mean about the moods...sigh...

dulcet I will speak with her eventually. Just not yet. Too .

The only thing better than Reese's cups are Reese's trees at Christmas and Reese's eggs for Easter -- such a good ratio of peanut butter to chocolate. I have the eggs in the kitchen right now. Trying to pretend they don't exist. Mmmmm.

Oooh, I love Reeces in all forms! I paid like £7 for a big tub of their peanut butter from one of those American Sweet shops that are popping up everywhere these days
And DH got me some of the trees for Xmas! Omnomnom

Just for the record, I'm also an original Percy Pig girl - none of these new-fangled variants!!

Red - your 'friend' sounds delightful. People like that are so damn frustrating. I have a frenemie with a similar M.O. but I'm too much of a wuss to call get out on it

Ps. Sorry for cluster post - itchy trigger finger!!

nessa lol at itchy trigger finger

mich and min keep poas...I have a good feeling

red Ditch the "friend" what a selfish are! you don't need people like that it your life. she's just a waste of your precious time!

ertd on the way out here. dhs results due tomorrow, although I'm sure we'll end up having to wait until later in the week. so new cycle, new PMA, new cape! I'm going for a fruit inspired cape to get me back to my healthy eating from tomorrow. maybe a pineapple print cape, inspired by the bonkers things we do while ttc!

did I say congrats to Wilhelm I think I did but congrats again just in case!

craving Percy pigs now. u lot are baaaad. I'll have the originals and the variants, by the bag load!

Just Googled Percy Pigs - those look delicious AND adorable!

I have a pot of pasta e fagioli soup on so that I can eat something nutritious (for once). MIL visited tonight and I sent her home with a few of the Reese's eggs just to get them out of the house!

red I will post you some!! seriously... I will put some in the post tomorrow. (and cause I'm nice I'll post you a packet and not jus one lonely pig)

You're all just wrong, Percy pigs look disgusting!

Ok, still no ERTD for me, I'm on CD29 15DPO I think. I POAS again this morning, BFN. I feel like period is on its way, crampy, tired, windy tummy... But I have mega sore boobs, which usually goes away by the time ERTD is due.

I just wish it would come to put me out of my symptom spotting misery. I've never gone over 28 days before, but I'm sure this will just end up being another one of those things my body does to wind me up.

Have a good Monday everyone. I'm on a course all day, which is a pain because if the witch does get me it's not going to be easy (I get bad pain and the runs usually) oh well.

oooh if you're lucky juniper will send you some as well.

Given your "friend" is being a cow you probably could do with some.

mich sending you a hug. ERTD is happening here too.

Have a jaffa cake x

Snap mich, I'm off on a conference today and tomorrow and I bet the bugger gets me there where I have very little control!

Monday again though, boo! But I don't have to be on the train until after 10 so at least I get a lay in. Kinda. I mean, I'm up, but I'm laying in bed at least! Normally is be leaving now.

We seem to have a lot of testing going on, have we all synced?!

Thanks lil, I'll take double congrats! Pineapple print sounds lucky to me.

ness where did hubby get the pb trees? In the same type of sweet shop? I must find these eggs in time for Easter.

Hope your course isn't too crap mich and that the witch either arrives or preferably stays away leaving a little red line in her place.

Morning ladies!
Eurgh, Monday. 'Nuff said really. I have decided to adopt a nonchalant approach as of today.
You know in life when you say 'god I really can't afford to eat this month' then something important breaks?
Yep... I really can't be arsed getting pregnant this month.....
I mean, really, truly. Cannot be bothered.

Go on, fate. Do your worst!

red people like that, I just don't get... They know the pain and dissapointment that we are going through, and yes, we realistically can't expect them to stop their happiness because of it, but please people... Exercise some bloody restraint. Remove head from arse and take your size 7s out of your gob! You have my full support if you want to pelt them with eggs and tp their house. In fact, I'll be your second!

mich hope the witch stays away for you! but even if she's just around the corner! I hope she doesn't make a appearance today! nothing worst than crippling cramps (and runs, yep I get them too) and having nowhere to escape, curl up and cry.
And we have TWD tonight so that's a bonus.

lil I know I'm out so was just a random blip in minions calendar. Breadsticks are getting their usual soreness so she's on her way! Buggeration!