TTC a lot longer than 10 months past and present

[Cosmonaut1]

A thread full of the loveliest people

pout I went gluten free for my first (mc) and third (chem preg) IVFs. I thought it was making a difference but just couldn't be bothered to do it for #4 as it would have meant missing out on mince pies and Xmas pud and as we know, this one is still going, so it doesn't appear to have been the missing piece of the puzzle for me. I do think it's interesting that coeliac disease is a lot more common in the infertile population than the general population though.

drizz she was monitored closely for osteoperosis after the bone secondary as one of the drugs she was on could cause it. That was a few years ago though. The breaks have actually been over many years, not a short time - just all on the same bone! It first happened when she was run over by a bike as a teen, then when she was pregnant with me in her 20s, and then when she tripped 10-15 years ago and now this latest one. I mentioned it to her on the phone though, and she said it was fine, but I will make sure it has been checked recently.

Some people on the August AN thread are already buying baby clothes! Gah.

Euro, it makes really question life when good people get clobbered by horrendous illnesses. It is immensely unfair and I sincerely hope your mum has a swift recovery.

Pout - my nutritionist made me go on a gluten free diet and I have slipped for the past 6 months but actually started again this week. It is a pita but also you can make it interesting and I found treating it as a nutritional project fun (saddo that I am). There is evidence out there that gluten intolerance can be a cause of unexplained infertility and I think it is a good thing to try and experiment with just in case. Plus it makes me feel like I am trying something. And once you get in to a habit, there is loads of stuff you can cook and bake with. I am always surprised how better I feel as well and less bloated. I think the grains they use nowadays are genetically modified and shit compared to old days. If you want to try it, we could always swap dinner/breakfast ideas for motivation!

More to say to others. Back later.

euro joins you in the hyperventilation at buying baby stuff already
Glad that your Mum is home.

Interesting thoughts about the gluten thing, thank you ladies. Apparently 25% of unexplained'ers are gluten intolerant so statistically at least one of us must be. I have been struggling with lots of little health niggles and it does seem to fit though other diagnoses fit too. I might not even bother with a diagnosis and just try and eliminate gluten and see what happens. I'm a bit disillusioned with my GP who seems to just want to foist very strong drugs on me and slap a label of "depressed" on it. I'm not fecking depressed, I'm just (unsurprisingly) sad that I can't conceive a baby. Rant over....Yes dev I would love to swap recipe ideas with you because to be honest I don't have a clue and my whole repertoire contains gluten in some form. I have decided though that I am going to have a gluten blow out for a few weeks first though MrP made me think when he pointed out that my beloved museli is full of gluten {slaps own head}

lemons I feel excited for you at the thought of bringing home a basement of baby goodies

Euro your poor mum . So sorry, thinking of her and sending her lots of healing wishes. It sucks that she has to go through this.

Ten how's the stabbing going? How are you feeling?

Pout I am going low carb to try to shift my pregnancy pounds, gluten free by default! Apart from the piña colada I just had which I'm pretty sure was not low carb of course

I am in the sun and spent the morning swimming (actually more like splashing around in waist deep water and squealing in terror) with sting rays! Lots of fruity drinks with silly garnishes have been consumed. MrC has gotten very sad in the evenings but I think the vitamin D has been good for us. Better to be grieving somewhere hot and sunny than grieving somewhere snowbound and cold.

Ooh critter if you are with stingrays, are you on "my" island? FB should give hefty clues from around Christmas time! Have an awesome time. And if you are and want any advice let me know :)

Euro craps-sake your poor mum ( and you and your Dad too). That is way too much for one person to have to deal with. Fingers crossed for better news.

Pout, didn't Princess go gluten free? I read something about having chicken skin on the back of your arms being a sign of gluten intolerance. By which I mean the sort of raised bumps.

Baby shopping? I too think I'd be sending MrN out shopping at around about the point of crowning .

Incomplete post as always. I'm too tired from new hobble taking up my energy. Oh wait I got the period results back. Surprise, positive for hidden-C. And also BV, nice, but then I did have a minor irritation just before my period so that's not actually a surprise. Anyway now need to get monster antibiotics sorted. Happy days.

Nelly and Critter that may be "my" island too . Sorry to hear that MrC is feeling sad but you do both need to work through the stages of grief and going away can really help. May have said it before but MrM took me way up north away from everything when my dad died. It didn't take away the pain but I still think of him now whenever we go there. Kind of like it's our place even though he never got the chance to visit Scotland. Anyway I'm waffling. Have a fruit tropical drink for me xx

euro sending lots of good thoughts for you and your family. I'm an only too and it is times like these when you feel the weight of responsibility...

Good luck with going gluten free pout and dev. We are eating much less bread at home with mrm's weight loss efforts but I have been replacing it with regular cake and coffee (decaf of course) when he's not around that I would really struggle to.give up. That and pasta - i should have been Italian.

Okay. must go to bed......

Nelly and madness yes I do believe it is the same island! what a coincidence!

Madness I am so sorry you lost your dad. Your DH sounds like a wonderful guy that he'd comfort you by taking you away to have some time to remember your lovely dad. You enjoy the cake, you're growing a small person! I'm sure the happiness of the cake enjoyment will be transferred to your little one and be good for him and her. Do you know whether you're having a boy or a girl?

Nelly that's good about the antibiotics, progress is being made, you're moving forward and getting closer to your baby. You've had to wait a bloody long time for this little person but he or she is not far away now and going to be so loved.

Cos thinking of you and sending sunshine and a fruity, oversized, comedy drink your way.

Love and waves to everyone else.

critter that sounds amazing - enjoy! I've snorkelled with rays a couple of times and I love the way they move - so elegant. Enjoy the comedy drinks and dose of vit D!

nelly that's interesting. I was really surprised to get my positive too as I've never had any kind of std and as I can't tolerate the Pill have dtd unprotected with a very small number of partners (although one of them was particularly slutty and I really should have been more careful - the folly of youth!).

Thanks for all the good thoughts about mummyeuro. She came home last night, with the really good drugs (she was seeing clowns when I spoke to her ). Apparently they had to rebreak her arm before they could pin it. Ouch. Now we just have the lung thing to check out...

Pout I am on/off gluten free. It just makes me feel so much better when I don’t eat it, and SO much worse when I do, which is a sign I think I am not meant to (plus been told numerous times not to by nutritionists). Princess had a Brown diet, I think this was not wheat or gluten or sugar (cant remember the other details). You can make your own granola for breakfast using nuts and seeds and overripe bananas try this app ‘deliciously ella’ for some suggestions of recipies. Once you get used to it is surprisingly easy (personally I just eat eggs for breakfast its easier), it is really lunch that can be an issue if you are in meetings and they only bring in sandwiches (this is when I tend to fail). If you are looking for a gluten free pasta then the best I have found is Doves, but I have been told recently not to eat white rice (which is what this is made out of) so I have just bought some brown rice pasta from Ocado, I will let you know how this goes. I could talk about this for hours, PM me if you want any more suggestions. Just to inspire you three of my friends have suffered from various skin complaints for years and by cutting out sugar, wheat and fermented things like soy sauce they have gone, your diet can have such an impact. (will get off soapbox now).

Thanks Lemons I am a bit wobbly, and VERY distracted at work, but IT IS FRIDAY, so I only need to make it through another 4 hours. Had a near miss in the baby dept at JL today, had to go and buy bibs to decorate for the baby shower I am hosting this weekend (stupid mothercare sent the wrong ones), and there are all these pregnant women there looking at pushchairs and it just made me feel so jealous and inferior. Still there we are hey.

Critter Yay for sunshine and silly drinks with fruit in. Snorkling with sting rays sounds amazing, they are so beautiful, I am glad that you are getting some sun. It is not surprising that You/MrC are still getting very sad, its bloody awful what happened.

Nelly can I ask what the antitabs are for that? Are they the ones that make you sick if you have one drink? What is this hidden C?

Cos how are you doing lovely?

Euro clowns indeed…..fingers crossed for the lung issue to be nothing

Happy Friday all, I have run out of space to stab as I have started developing bruises, I have had to stop the gym due to weird pulling sensation around my womble, I am COMPLETELY stupid (forgetting peoples names whilst speaking to them) and I would like it to be EC time please. However I am grateful I have a chance at IVF, because lets face it what is the alternative for me? (Answer not much due to male factor). Also new side affect is that I am ENTIRELY unreasonable, luckily MrT is finding this ‘cute’ (vom) and funny at the moment, I am not sure how funny he will find it when I smash him in the face with a pan (that he hasn’t put in the f*cking dishwasher)

Oh my god just read this, apologies for the rant! Blaming the hormones!

Ten that really made me laugh. Sorry. It can't be pleasant to live through. Does MrT have a cricket box and a crash helmet he can wear until you are feeling better? When is EC expected?

Euro In my more lucid moments I do realise how utterly bonkers I am being, and can still laugh at myself in a slightly hysterical way (last night I did actually just as I was muttering f*ck a lot at nothing at all). Luckily for him we have friends staying from tomorrow for a week, so I will have to be pleasant (read that as snipe at him more quietly) while they are around as they don't know about the IVF, and she is pregnant. Hopefully EC is Wednesday, I think it will be as I don't tend to be a slow grower and I am on a higher dose this time around. Just four more days.....

That's not too long to go then ten. Hopefully MrT will survive unscathed...

Only three by now, ten! Hang in there. And advice mrT to remove sharp objects...

Thinking of you all!

ten you did make me its tough on the drugs but will all be worth it, I drove past the asylum the other day and thought how strange it is not to be constantly up there anymore, I am impressed you have house guests through all this

euro so sorry to hear about your mum, it must be such a worry, fingers crossed it nothing serious

critter enjoy the sunshine and novelty drinks :)

Critter I hope your time in the sun has done you both some good, I was so glad to think of you in the sunshine sipping fruity cocktails. It must seem like completely the wrong activity to be doing now but you've done so well to get through these weeks. And before we know it it will be FET time. Sending you a big squeeze. Are you home now? I have wondered if you would review the idea of grief counselling again at some point?

Euro I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. You must be just like, give me a break, you've just got one area sorted out. How is she doing, when will you hear about further test results?

Pout I went gluten free and found after only about 3 days I could really feel the difference. Definately worth trying.

Ten I did laugh at your posts. How are you doing, and is Mr Ten still in one piece?

Nelly interesting you got the positive too. I found the anti-b's fine.

Dev so you're going back on the nutritionist's plan did I hear? Good for you for prepping for the cycle, plus dont you think there's something about the spring that makes you feel like a health kick? Winter makes me want to hibernate and eat lots! Interesting you saw Mr Rai too. I can't recall what happened with your lap now, was it all clear? How did what he said to you pan out?

Fox loved your list of helpful suggestions received from others. Ill add to your list a comment from a very good friend, who knows all about our history, and really should know better, but couldn't help telling me that it happened for her when she stopped trying and just relaxed. Sigh.

Afm I had the appt at St Marys. It's unbelievable the difference in service you get when you pay. It cost £230 for the appt, but I only first contacted them less than 2 weeks ago and I've already had through my letter confirming what we discussed in the appt and next steps. Not that I've been there on the nhs before. Anyway he thinks I may have polycystic ovaries and even though other tests I've had for this have been clear, that the only reliable test is a fasting glucose test to look for impaired glucose tolerance. I've never heard of that before. And tbh I felt like grrr show me the brick wall to hit my head on as that was what I was asking docs about 4 or 5 years ago. I also need to have a 3d scan to check my so-called bicornate uterus out a bit better, plus some blood clotting tests. And then go back and review. But he did say that the recent getting pregnant stuff was 'very positive' and that my best chance was not using Ivf. I thought he was a really lovely man and very easy to talk to. He made a real point of backing up what he said by quoting research studies, and said that patients should challenge their doctors more about their assertions. So Euro you would have been his model patient . He did ask me 3 times whether we used recreational drugs though, so I must have had my gormless face on!

Big waves to you all.

How are things with you now ten? I hope you're on the last day of stabbing and haven't stabbed mrT (or your pregnant guests, why would you?)

That sounds like a productive appointment cos, even if it is annoying there are things that you have been asking about years ago coming up again. It does feel like it's a complex puzzle, but slowly coming together. When are the further tests scheduled?

Waves and tail feathe fluffs for all the others.

I had a pregnancy-announcement last week and I can confirm I was delighted for the first time. (About time too, I was getting worried about staying very bitter about diffments forever). It's my best friend who's been very cagy about their reproductive plans and wishes, but all the sadness and worry and hopelessness just came spilling out when she told me about the BFP. Only 6 weeks today, so we're keeping everything crossed for the next few weeks. Also it's a FUFC diffment, after well over 2 years TTC, suspicious sounding endo-symptoms (that I've been trying to get her to the physicians for years). Now she add raised prolactin levels in the mix, and her appointment was coming up (literally this week) for the next batch of investigations.

PS cos I've had the questioning on recreational drugs a few times as well... I must be looking dopey a fair bit!

What a lovely weekend, how amazing was it to be able to walk outside and it be sunny!

Went for a scan this morning and EC put back to Friday, lots of follies, 32 on the right and a similar number on the left, but not big enough yet so I am continuing to stab…..and not stab MrT, he is surviving, after a particularly spectacular tantrum on Friday night I had to apologise as I was worried he might actually leave me (which would be a bit unfair considering our issue is male factor)

Highlight of the weekend was being asked if I was planning on having children soon, at a baby shower I was hosting, where every other woman there had kids and clearly viewed me as some sort of alien being. I put on my best gormless look and smiled politely (PROUD)

Lemons Luckily my pregnant guest is lovely, and not making a big deal out of being pregnant infact it would all be fine except for the fact her husband has gone into protective mode, and if I hear one more time, ‘are you alright, do you need to sit down, do you want anything etc etc’ I may loose my temper a teensy tiny bit. I am planning on being out or working late every night this week.

Cos I am so glad that your appointment was helpful, and it sounds like he listened to you and you have a way forwards, even better that this doesn’t include IVF, if you can do something fundamental like change your diet and this is what works for you that would be just amazing (although I am sure frustrating given how long ago you mentioned this)

What a lovely weekend, how amazing was it to be able to walk outside and it be sunny!

Went for a scan this morning and EC put back to Friday, lots of follies, 32 on the right and a similar number on the left, but not big enough yet so I am continuing to stab…..and not stab MrT, he is surviving, after a particularly spectacular tantrum on Friday night I had to apologise as I was worried he might actually leave me (which would be a bit unfair considering our issue is male factor)

Highlight of the weekend was being asked if I was planning on having children soon, at a baby shower I was hosting, where every other woman there had kids and clearly viewed me as some sort of alien being. I put on my best gormless look and smiled politely (PROUD)

Lemons Luckily my pregnant guest is lovely, and not making a big deal out of being pregnant infact it would all be fine except for the fact her husband has gone into protective mode, and if I hear one more time, ‘are you alright, do you need to sit down, do you want anything etc etc’ I may loose my temper a teensy tiny bit. I am planning on being out or working late every night this week.

Cos I am so glad that your appointment was helpful, and it sounds like he listened to you and you have a way forwards, even better that this doesn’t include IVF, if you can do something fundamental like change your diet and this is what works for you that would be just amazing (although I am sure frustrating given how long ago you mentioned this)

Cheeky work post as I'm a bit early for an appointment. Who needs to write up paperwork when there are ten plussers to catch up with?

ten that's a lot of follies!!! Sorry for the delay though. You were sp brave to go to a baby shower let alone host one. I know I asked a few stupid questions back in the day - back when I was naive - but still not easy to answer gracefully!

critter we haven't found out. Nice to keep something a surprise. I hope you've taken some photos on your trip. I lived in the sunny place for years as a teenager. Hope the weather on return is not too awful.

cos sounds like a good appointment. I'm with your doc on all of us needing to question our doctors more. If I hadn't been fobbed off all those years ago by so many doctors maybe i could have stemmed the damage before losing a tube. That said there's no point beating yourself up about it - hindsight and all that. I like the idea that he wants to sort you out without just putting you through ivf again.

Have started nct classes. Wondered about everyone's history but we haven't really discussed it. MrM thinks they can't have needed any help though given that none of the men knew anything about the hospital apart from where it is. They were all planning to drive out to check routes and time things. MrM said he hasn't tried driving there blindfolded yet so perhaps he should give that a go ;-)

Okay. time up and back to work. Waves to all.

Cos – i am so pleased you had a productive meeting. That’s great. And fascinating that he thinks you have polycystic ovaries. Why did he come up with that conclusion out of interest? Do you get the other tests done privately or on the nhs? Or once you pay to go private, do you have to stick with private or can you mix and match?

Ten – am i reading that right 0- You have about 80 follies?? I hpe they monitor you closely now that you don’t produce a huge amount. That is extraordinary amount. How old are you – 18?!!! I doubt i had that many when i was a teen.

Critter – hope you are having a fab holiday. I have no idea where you are but I’m sure it’s gorgeous.

Nelly – most people have hidden C. That’s good they have found the other thing too as that is known to be a problem when ttc.

Lemon – so amazing that you were happy for your friend. I often wonder whether I will carry this bitterness on even if i get pregnant and have a baby. I’m sure it must go for everyone at some point.

I’ve just had the pleasure of nipping to an NHS sexual clinic in my lunch hour. I’ve got all sorts of soreness and itching where you don’t want it. I just cannot believe i’ve got thrush again – i’ve been so good with the sugar as well. It’s beyond a joke now and so i went to get checked to make sure it is the songbird. After a consultation with a doctor and over an hour of waiting i had to leave before getting swabbed so a waste of time. And the doctor asked about previous pregnancies and i said i had a m/c at 7 weeks 4 years ago and he said, “yes well pregnancies often end at that stage as it’s pre-implantation”. This was a consultant doc who said this! Plus my breasts have been agony before ovulation again so I think something crap is going on.
To add insult to injury , I had to endure a lunch with just me and my friend and her hubby at the weekend. They were so lovey dovey and gazing in to each other’s eyes and touchy feely and of course I thought she must be pregnant. They showed me around their new house and told me they were going to have 3 kids. It was like a Bridget Jones moment of horror being surrounded by a smug married, the PDAs were vomit inducing! After 3 hours, they hadn’t made an announcement so I relaxed and then just perfect timing whilst in the midst of a songbird attack of intense soreness and itching which I obviously couldn’t do anything about with company, they announced they were 17 wks pregnant....right in my face. No where to hide. Not sure whether my face contorted because I wanted to itch or whether I was just seriously pissed because well you know why. I left 5 mins later saying how thrilled i was for them . The funny thing is, Roy use to say “what great news” whenever someone would announce a pregnancy but now I tell him and he curls his lip and says, “oh lucky them, hope you told them to f off!”. We’ve turned in to a delightful couple!!

ten that is a huge number of follies. Were they surprised at the number?

cos I'm so pleased that it sounds like you have a good consultant now. I've had the fasting glucose test twice now, i thought it was one of the standard tests so I'm surprised you haven't had it done already. It does seem like some things slip through the net. I think it was nelly who said she hadn't had many tests. Although nelly you now know you have the hidden C. Did you suspect you had bv?

devon Did your friends know about your situation? If they did then they are complete arses. I can imagine exactly how you felt with the anticipation of the announcement. In my opinion, couples who are all touchy in public are probably not all that happy together. DH and I don't really go in for pda but we are very into each other, we just don't feel the need to show the world. I'm sorry the song bird has come back, it's awful. IVF seems to upset me, after both rounds I've had something thrush like afterwards and it feels like my ph levels get messed up. I think it's probably from the progesterone capsules. I think I'm back to normal now but that's 4 months ish after the cycle.

euro I'm sorry your mum isn't well. It's such a worry, I seem to constantly have something to worry about with my parents. I hate that they're getting old. If your mum is waking up like this it could be a panic thing. Has she had her heart checked out?

I've reached a new low where I can't even be happy for fellow ivfers. I heard the news yesterday that an ex colleague is pregnant with her second child. The first was conceived from her first round of ivf but was a fet. She's had another fresh round and is pregnant first time from it. I', ashamed that my first reaction inside wasn't that it was wonderful but that how come she can be so lucky and ivf work twice for her. Bad days when I'm jealous of other long termers.

Thanks everyone for thinking of me and my mum. Her appointment with the chest specialist is tomorrow. She's still in quite a bit of pain from her arm, but hopefully that will start easing soon.

cos I'm glad you had a good appointment at St Mary's. That sounds like my kind of dr! I hope you get some answers.

ten that is a LOT of follies. No wonder you are feeling mental rough. You are doing brilliantly. The fussing over the pregnant guest would drive me a bit bonkers. Mr euro jokingly tried to carry me everywhere and treat me like a very fragile thing when I got my first BFP last year. He's been much more sane second time around (but great in doing loads of the house stuff in the evening when I have been too nauseous or knackered to move off the sofa).

drizz I still feel a bit strange about pg announcements. Hopefully one day I will be able to make peace with them.

devon being trapped among the smug marrieds sounds awful. I can't imagine ever being confident enough to announce how many children I was planning. Oh well, maybe their last pregnancy will be triplets. That'll learn em for making plans!

I'm sorry the songbird is still bothering you. I hope it stops singing soon. And that dr sounds like an idiot!

ray I am not sure what tests she has had now. She tends to give me a quick update and then we talk about other things when I visit or call. I don't think she wants to dwell on it too much. Hopefully I will find out more after her appointment tomorrow.

Dev do you mean the BV when you say the other thing? Problem is they've just said it's normal and nothing I can do? Ray not really. To be honest I'm very lucky and rarely get bothered by much, but just before that period I did have some form of mild irritation which I guess was this.

Ten oh my god. It would take me about 50 cycles to see that many follies. I'm kind of hoping its a typo though as surely that's an incredible risk of OHSS? I hope it all calms down soon!

Ray I think it's completely fine to feel that way. These days it is pretty much only 10plussers I allow to get pregnant, everyone else can go do one. And Dev at the smug marrieds. That sounds awful.

Euro good luck for your mum.

Mad how funny you lived there too (assuming we are talking about the place with the "city" that Critter referred to?). I did a couple of years back in the early 2000's. My reason for visiting is about to relocate back to Scotland though so no more free sunshine, boo.

Cos that appointment sounds good but frustrating. Just shows how much our instinct can be right. What would a fasting glucose test show?

Better go back to work just now but have a GP appt later and am hoping he will give us the monster anti-bs as well as maybe do the updated HIV etc. Will report back. Waves to everyone else.

(Oh yes I started spotting yesterday on CD17. A new kind of special fucked up-ness).