TTC a lot longer than 10 months past and present

[Cosmonaut1]

A thread full of the loveliest people

Yes very unusual Mrsd. When someone asks whether I have kids, I am sure it is written across my face. I get very prickly.

Hospital doesn't have my results yet. Told me I should ring up on day 1 to see whether my protocol has been decided. Urrrr sorry but that's what I bloody did and they sent me for more bloods. I just can't understand why they didn't tell me to repeat amh weeks ago. As Roy said, coming from a clinic where there was so much info and phone calls and testing causing me stress to one where they don't communicate which also causes stress. I am difficult to please!

Hello everyone.

fox did you have a scan yesterday? I hope moving around will ease the bruising. I had lots of tummy fat to choose from!

joy your clinic does sound frustrating. When a cycle starts is pretty basic info and without it you will feel like you're in limbo.

ray hooray to holidays! I put off doing some courses when we started ttc and could practically have done a degree in the time it took us. So hard to look back and see how much time has passed.

critter you are doing brilliantly. I have so much positivity for this pregnancy. your moher had a devastating loss and went on to have a healthy family. you will too xx

euro you will be so scared right now but you will have centime soon. I think arcade fire was a great idea. centime will have enjoyed listening too I'm sure. will be thinking of you.

Big wave to nelly and cos. Recovering here from a breast abscess but otherwise good. minimad is 8 weeks and worth all of the physical pain and heartbreakt. hang in there ladies xx

Just popping in quickly to wish euro lots of good luck for next week. You must be terrified, but once centime is here, things will seem much better. Having time to prepare will hopefully help and a planned section and premie baby are very different to unplanned. Lots of love and just think you get to meet your long awaited baby very soon!

Quick paw hold for fox. Hope the scan was ok. I injected into my thighs (or rather DH did) as the tummy seemed far worse to me. Using ice to numb it helped a lot. I'm so excited on your behalf. Not long til ET now?

Ouch to abscess mad
Gotta go!

euro really good luck. You are days away from meeting centime. You're on the home stretch and you can do this. I will be thinking of you and sending you love and courage.

mad ow to the abscess. That sounds really painful! I do hope you're feeling a little better and being well taken care of.

fox how was the scan?

joy incredibly irritating about the bloods and CD1 and general uninterestedness of receptionists etc. I can imagine how stressful this must be. Can only commiserate and fist shake. You're doing the right thing by pushing, though. It's so easy for them to forget about patients!

gin so lovely to see you here. Hope your little girl is doing well.

ray I find it much easier when not everyone has little kids. MrC's friends are starting to sprog and it's definitely harder when small people are the focus of the conversation. But I feel like the years with young children are a fairly short, defined, intense period in people's lives.

Last day of my retreat thingy, home to MrC tomorrow. Can't wait. Still freaking out about every cramp and pinkish/brown spot - I didn't spot at all before so it's quite un-nerving. But I know lots of people do, and there's bugger all I can do about it so I think I just need to keep my head firmly plugged into the sand.

Hi all. I am de-lurking to wish euro best of luck and hope all goes as well as it can if the really do operate to get centime early next week. Thinking if you

I still read regularly and I'm cheering you all on. Best wishes and courage to all.

Euro - wishing you all the best over the next few days. I can only imagine the huge feelings of mixed anticipations and hope you are OK. What a lovely time of year to be born though. Can't wait to hear from you and will be thinking about you and centime.

Bit of a short post from me as I'm really struggling now. Scan was not great. I ovulated this month in spite of the dr drugs (from my 'non functioning ovary that had no follicles on it at the antral scan ffs). I had a very 'nice' luteal cyst and could clearly see where it has recently popped. Lining was 5mm which is not too bad, it needed to be under 6 but doc not happy to say I was downregged. I am therefore delayed with an 8 day course of drugs to make me have a bleed. These drugs on top of buserelin have made me feel very bad, very weepy, down and depressed feeling. I don't know if it is because NOTHING has been straightforward for me in fetility treatment and investigations, not one time. Feeling very sorry for myself and like maybe this just isn't meant to be for me. Sorry for the misery! Hope everyone else is having a good sunday.

Fox sweetheart I am so sorry to hear about the unencouraging scan. Its just horribly unfair that you have this extra worry. I hope they will now be watching you carefully and keeping a close eye on things. Do you know what happens after the induced bleed? Can they do a frozen transfer if necessary? The whole thing is just rotten. You just need to get through the next month honey, hang in there.

critter the spotting is worrying, but normal. I think most people twitch at things like that and we have more reason than most to be unsettled.

I hope the retreat was great and a good distraction at this tricky time.

fox I'm sorry to hear that the dring hasn't gone to plan and that the extra drugs are making you feel crap. I cant believe what a difficult time you have had with IVF. Hang on in there.

joy centime will be 33 weeks on Thursday. I'm still only 32+3

That sounds very irritating about the clinic. There is just no need for that sort of crapness.

ray we have found a private consultant we like, so we're in the process of swapping to him.

Thanks to everyone who has been thinking of me. I've had a torrid few days. As I think I said on the last page, at Thursday's scan (with a new sonographer as the consultant was on holiday), we were told the baby should be delivered and booked in for a section next week. We got a second opinion on Saturday and he came up with the same view as the consultant we had been seeing before Thursday - that the pregnancy could continue for now with close monitoring. So that is what we are going with, although the limbo is very hard. Every week that centime stays put is better for his/her development, but we and the drs all know that leaving it too long could be catastrophic so it is pretty stressful. I'm back in tomorrow for a heartbeat trace on the baby and again on Tuesday for yet another scan.

Thanks critter. On the plus side the other recipient is a week behind me. I should get a period a couple of days after I stop this drug and then I get rescanned. I just hope that cyst collapses. And I think it's moved me from feeling relatively head in the sand positive to fretting over all the many things that could go wrong ahead of an actual transfer and I'd so like to get to that stage. Once both me and the other recipient are downregged then the donor comes off the pill and starts stimms and I start to get my womb lining thickened. It feels like the longest ever ivf cycle in the world. I will be downregging for at least 40 days if not more. I won't be doing it this way again, that is for sure. If we have to pay I won't go the sharing route. And against previous worries about going abroad, I'm now thinking that would be better. I don't feel like my clinic give two shits at the moment, very cookie cutter treatment, or that is how it feels. Serums help sheets seem to say that this is normal if you start downregging on your period and that only after a second period will your own hormones shut down, this makes sense to me. But I just got a very vague message that this can happen, with some drugs hurriedly shoved in my hands, off you go. I feel cross with them actually. They would really need to convince me to hand over money to them for a further round.

But enough of my ranting - is it lovely to be home? How are you doing?

Cross post euro, what a tricky and stressy time you're having. But so good to get a second opinion, I will always regret not doing more of that! When can you finish work?

I found my NHS cycle was very cookie cutter fox. It's annoying when everyone is so different.

I've pretty much stopped work. Because I was told on Thursday I should have the section early next week, I did a very hurried wind up of everything on Friday. So now I will just potter from home and take annual leave when I don't need to work until D-Day. Even though the section has been postponed, it probably only means an extra few days or so, so I'm not planning to undo my work handover for the sake of that. And frankly, I don't really have the headspace for the work stress at the moment. I don't think I have been putting in a particularly great performance for the past couple of weeks. I should probably just focus on myself for once.

Euro focusing on yourself sounds absolutely the right move. Am glad you're being so closely watched but my goodness me how stressful and worrying. Am so glad you're in safe hands and you've got a consultant you trust.

Fox you've had such a time of it, I'm so sorry the clinic weren't more helpful, it's just the last thing you need on top of everything else. I'm sorry the hormones have made you feel more weird too, I'm not surprised your body must be thinking wtf? I reckon once you start on the lining thickening stuff it'll all start to feel a bit better. I am keeping everything and more crossed that you catch a break and have an easier time.

Critter hope you've had a great retreat. Sorry for the spotting etc, it must be very nerve racking. When is scan day again? Hopefully you can get some reassurance.

Mad, abscess sounds ouchy, hope it clears up soon.

Waves to everyone else.

Have had a full on family weekend and feel shattered. Had some spotting yesterday. Sigh. I am due on soon but still had that heart sink moment of oh right it's not completely gone then, maybe nothing's changed after all. Made me realise of course I've got my hopes up that things will be different and it's going to hurt like hell to bump back down to earth. I've actually had nearly 5 months off trying now, and really not looking forward to starting again to the headf*k routine of it all.

Just a quick squeeze for all the amazing ladies on here. Lembie and I are doing well (eventually, some hiccups in the first two weeks). Life is manic with the new house and no sleep (and impossible in-laws) in the mix, so I have not been mn-ing. But you're all in my thoughts and I am wishing for good outcomes and smoother rides!

Seriously, sometimes I wonder whether somebody somewhere is really pissing around with the plussers. People on here have had way more than their fair share of shit luck. What is going on.

Euro – my thoughts are with you this week, I can only imagine it is horribly horribly stressful. I am glad you are now off work. I’m not sure how you have managed to concentrate through your pregnancy at all to be honest. But Centime will be with you soon.

Fox – i honestly can’t believe the shit time you have had as well. It honestly sounds absolutely ghastly downregging for all this time and now cysts? It doesn’t sound like you are getting any support either which isn’t good. How long will this being going on for? It does sound like a logistical nightmare apart from anything else.

Cos – oh no, not spotting again. It’s very depleting when something doesn’t look like it has changed. Is it at least less than before? When you took the gestone did the spotting ever stop? I still think though, they have got out the route of your problem and i am feeling really positive for you. Did you ever get the results from your miscarriage by the way?

Aagggh nightmares continue - what on earth is going on??

Euro - you have been pushed from pilar to post...how unsettling. I think you are right to strike a balance between keeping centime in as long as possible alongside very very close monitoring. And I'm really glad you've knocked work on the head. Keep yourself busy with nice things with nice people these next few things. You have been given a shitty hand here but very soon you will have your very precious baby....and then none of this crap will really matter any more, I promise. Big hugs.

Rabbit - oh sweetheart I am cross that you have another twist in the journey. Interesting how right your instincts were about already popping an egg. But on a more positive note I never believed that the dormant ovary was really dormant. I know that doesn't help you right now but proves you have more ammunition and options than some (cookie cutter / don't look to hard at the individual) fertility clinicians would have you believe. I KNOW you can do this....you are having a horrid time and it stinks but I know you can do this, focus on the next step ahead, do lovely things in the mean time, let out the anger here or wherever, just keep going you wonderful strong strong woman. xx

Critter - I'm sorry the spotting has been unsettling. I honestly think different babies and different pregnancies have different symptoms. If anything maybe it can help you to feel that any pregnancy you have is carrying an individual child and that your precious James is a beautiful baby in his own right, never to be replaced or forgotten. Just as your next baby will be cherished and loved beyond belief too.

Back later.

Hi ladies. Selfish post to add more crap to the pile of crap. Am miscarrying. Will go to the doctor in an hour and talk about next steps. Hugs to everyone.

Oh no Critter. Oh honey I'm so sorry. Massive squeeze. Are you sure it's not just a bit of bleeding? Thinking of you.

Critter :( :( are you sure? That's probably a stupid question. Massive hugs to you.

Oh no critter . I am so sorry. as if you haven't been through enough already. Feel very helpless. I hope you are being looked after.

Hey, was lots of big dark red clots. So pretty sure.

Oh no, critter. Thinking of you. x

critter so sorry to read this. Sending you a big hug.

Critter, I'm so sorry! Big hugs.

Critter, oh my lovely I am so sorry to hear that and willing it to be a scary bleed but no more.

Back from doctor. He did a sono which confirmed it but I have to keep taking meds just in case. He said it should be over fairly soon as there is so much blood. They also did a blood test to see how much the hcg has dropped so we can think about next steps when it's all over.

I am home with MrC, hanging in there. Sending love.