TTC a lot longer than 10 months past and present

[Cosmonaut1]

A thread full of the loveliest people

critter I'm sorry your friend was so insensitive. Some people are so wrapped up in their own little bubble that they just don't get it.

I have no experience with oestrogen, but what fox says sounds right. If your lining has been fine, I wouldn't worry.

Not long now to ET.

(My first foetal monitoring appointment is on Monday. I feel enormous and have felt stretching over the past few days, so I have everything crossed that centime is having a growth spurt and the numbers will be a bit improved. I'm 29 weeks today, so only 8 weeks to go to the "magic" 37 weeks when he/she would not be considered prem, and each week that goes by increases the chances of centime having a better start, so I am looking forward to each Thursday as I hit another weekly milestone.)

fox I hope AF arrives soon so that you can crack on. June is going to be an exciting month for the 10+ers!

Fox I am setting up a chair next to you with a thermos of tea and some cheese sandwiches and binoculars for period watch.

Euro that's great news, another milestone reached. It'd be fab if centime can get to 30 weeks. Every day makes a difference. But I'm so glad they are watching you so carefully. Great news. My top c section tips are to ask for a pillow to hold over your tummy when you stand up or cough afterwards, and a squeezy bottle or jug of water to pour over you when you pee post-catheter removal.

Joy is the dummy transfer this week?

Ray thanks so much for the reassurance. The doc seemed fine with the measurement at my appointment (was the same guy who did my transfer last year, but he didn't remember me of course). They'll call this afternoon to let me know what happens next. Hope you're ok. I think of you lots. Tight squeeze.

Fox – am will aunty to come pronto for you. and yes your friend was a nobhead but i have friends who have done and said nobhead things which leave me reeling. It’s horrible being on the end of them. Oh and yes natural ivf may be the answer for me if this next one amounts to nothing.

Euro – it does sound like centime is having a bit of a growth spurt so that all sounds great. Hopefully she (sure she is a girl not sure why!) will be staying put for some weeks yet but also glad they are keeping an eye out on you.

Critter – i’m sure the dosage doesn’t matter too much and your body will be doing everything as it should.

I had my 3D and dummy todaylse. Urgh. It never gets easier. My bladder was so full and they were pressing on it and doing the dummy and then i was told it wasn’t full enough. Gees do they want you to pee all over them? All pretty uncomfortable as you ladies know! Now bleeding which is lovely. Just sent a message to doc friend and told him not to push me through quickly, i’m happy to wait for a month as otherwise i would start downregging in 4 days and i’m just not quite mentally there right now.

So do you think it is ok to have sex tonight? I am about to ovulate in 3 days but i don’t see Roy after tonight for 5 days so one last chance to get that ironicdiff...but not sure whether that’s a good idea.

I don't think it's a problem, joy. Unless it's too sore for you. I've given up on timing dtd. It's funny how far we move on. Has your dr friend given you any info on your treatment or what he thinks might be going on with you guys? We have had 6 embryos transferred and 3 didn't survive the thaw. My dr is surprised by no result from 6, he checked again that we'd had the genetic tests done which makes me think he's wondering if this is the problem. But dh is firmly of the view it's still a numbers game.

Critter, it's so close to twibling time for you. I expect you're feeling a mix of emotions. You're right I will feel better when we have a plan. I sort of know what the plan is. Ivf again, similar drugs protocol but with scratch and picsi this time. I know we have to do it so we can say we've tried everything but I'm frightened of going through it again. Part of me wants to get it out the way so August is a possibility, but it depends on some travel plans and also the doctors have holidays in August. Work wise it's a good time for me and dh, but if I were (big miracle) to get pregnant, then a May due date is a complete nightmare for dh in terms of work. We will cross that bridge when we come to it . . .

Euro, yay to expanding tummy. Even though you're measuring small have you had lots of comments about big bump that everyone seems to complain about? If I ever get a bump people can comment on it all they like :)

Cos, nelly, fox how are you all doing?

Critter well the binocular period watch has worked! Heavy spotting here so expecting to start downregging by the weekend. Mixed bag of feelings! The big question mark for me is that we have no idea if the sperm fertilises or if there are implantation problems. I'm hoping that there is no more wrong than shite eggs. On that note, here is some interesting science. I've been ttc for 3 years and 8 months. I've temped for most months as I like to know when I've ovd etc. So, operation and other non trying months and can't be arsed months excluded I have 29 cycles of 'data'. I have used contraception this month and my end of cycle temps are almost one degree lower (last week of luteal phase) than normal trying months. On the months of my hsg, my lap, my three months post op where we didn't introduce egg to sperm - the numbers are the same - much lower. On the two cp months the temps are way higher. When I trawled over it all today I have to say it's worried me that my body just can't do this, even though it tries. I'm not sure if another egg from someone else will be anymore welcomed. The graphs just feel so clear. But, maybe it's just my eggs. I really hope so.

Joy - if it hurts I'd say just curl up with a good book. That's not to say I don't think it's worth it but with three days to go I'd say you have a days respite

Euro I feel sure the fattening is good news

Ray is mr ray home now?

I'm off to fret about my hostile uterus

Just reading back and cos I'd like opinions, my 'usual' trying month temps are inbetween non trying and cp temps so;

Not trying 97.2 - 97.7
Trying 97.2 - 98.34
Cp - 97.2 - 98.9

So actually it's half a degree difference - sorry I'm rambling. It's just freaked me out! Will go away now (sheepish)

joy I would go for it, especially if you aren't going to downreg this month. Sorry it was painful and uncomfortable. None of this process is fun, that's for sure, but things being physically horrible sucks.

ray I hadn't heard of PICSI before. Is it different from ICSI? Our clinic said they would do assisted hatching on our frosties, which I hadn't heard of before. Apparently it's standard for all frozen transfers. I would just go for it in August, if you've got the headspace. You can deal with a May due date as and when it happens - you've dealt with worse.

xpost fox that is fab news that your period is here. Mixed feelings are to be expected. But I don't know of a single person who's done DE and regretted it once the little person arrives. There is every reason that you are going to have a spring baby and can start making cute bonnets and clothes for the little one this autumn. I don't know about the temps - but sending you a tight squeeze and encouraging pats.

Thanks critter. Sorry ray how did I miss your next plan news? I have found the thought of summer ivf feels different in a better way to winter ivf? A

Ray - agree that if you can do another one over the summer you should go for it. Only if you are up to it of course. Do you have frosties left? I do think it is a numbers game but I also think changing protocols and drugs is important if something isn't working as this may increase chances. If your hubby's sperm count is low, does that automatically mean there is a quality problem? Or can you have a low count and have good quality?

Fox - I find your stats fascinating. Does this suggest that egg is meeting sperm? Or is it something else? You know how so many of us mention our cycles changed when we first TTC , I do wonder whether there is something deeper going on. Could it be a reaction to sperm for example? It may not necessarily be an immune reaction.
My doctor said a few weeks ago that all men and women are compatible but Cos mentioned ages ago the Katie price situation. There was that cage fighter guy she couldn't conceive with. She even did Ivf which failed. Yet they both went on to have babies with other people very quickly after splitting up. Sorry I am rambling but I think your stats are interesting. But I greatly suspect your body will do what it has to do with DE.

I didn't get round to dtd last night. The doc did mention I had thrush (surprise surprise) yesterday and that's why I was stinging so probably best not to. Roy was just like what is the point as if it would happen anyway. . Weirdly the doc said I would ovulate in 3 days, that just doesn't tie up with ewcm which normally starts about then. I do wonder whether my body is totally out of sync .

Ray I've been told I'm both big and small in the same week! My bump isn't actually that small - it's measuring about 2 weeks behind, so I still look plenty pregnant! My mw said that were it not for the scan she wouldn't have thought there was an issue - I look about right for my stage, the baby feels about right and there is a 3 week tolerance on bump measurement as it is not exactly the most scientific, so if I hadn't had the scan, no one would have known anything was up.

joy the full bladder bit is awful isn't it? I was pulling faces and going a bit cross-eyed during my transfers!

I think the compatibility point is interesting too. It's something I often wondered about.

fox I can see why the temps would be different this month as you are on hormonal contraception, which will affect hormone levels and it is the progesterone post-ov that causes the usual temp rise, but it doesn't make sense at all for the other non-trying months. How odd.

I'm glad your AF has finally arrived. On to the next step!

I agree with critter. Everyone I have seen who has done DE IVF seems to be delighted with their choice once it's made.

ray I think you should go for it with a "murphy's law" due date. Apparently summer IVFs have a higher degree of success than winter cycles too.

hello :)
I'm looking for a place to fit in, trying for baby number two.
DS took ten years to conceive
and although I'm only into month six TTC I can't shake the feeling it's going to take a long long time :(
Do I fit in here? Or do I need to be trying for longer??

Welcome Patchwork! Sorry you find yourself here but this is a lovely little corner of Mumsnet to be. You could not find a nicer, more supportive and all-round wonderful bunch of ladies. We actually have a ten plusser who also took 10 years to conceive her son - akuabadoll - but got there in the end.

Was your son IVF? Or did it just fall into place eventually?

euro it's bloody scary that if it hadn't been for the scan they wouldn't have known anything was up. Thank goodness they spotted the problem. Was that the 20 week scan that flagged the placental blood flow issue?

fox I know this is terrifying, but there is every reason that this will work. You're just in the worst part of it now - the build up. And after the genuine deep trauma you've been through it's natural that this would be really anxiety-inducing and you'd be worried. I am squeezing your paw.

joy interesting about Katie Price. I actually think that if MrC and I had got married when we met and started trying then, and I'd never taken the pill, it still would have taken us a long time, because of my crazy long cycles, but I eventually would have gotten there on my own. In a weird way now I feel grateful to have done IVF for James as it means I'm not in the position of some other women who've lost children who then have to go through the stress of a long period of au naturel TTC. I can throw everything at the problem right away, if you see what I mean. Argh about the thrush being back. FFS. Did you decide to wait and go for it in August (and maybe cycle with ray) or to charge ahead in July?

ray do you have something nice planned this weekend? I really hope so.

Thanks for the welcome critter,
He wasn't IVF, one of those 'stop trying and start a degree instead', 2/3 of the way through the degree and hey presto!
I can't imagine waiting that long again so my plan is to get the testing started early this time round.
I'm fairly sure I read somewhere that if you have a history of fertility problems you can see your GP after 6mths rather that 12mths so that's next on my list :)
What kind of a mix do we have here, is everyone TTC or have some succeeded and like it do much they want to stay?

Hey patchwork- an ironidiff! Amazing. Yes definitely get a referral to the GP. Then you can get tests done while trying and get on the conveyor belt, if you see what I mean. I've heard it's 6 months if you're over 35, a year if under 35.

The thread started over 3 years ago. Many people have graduated and now have ten plusser babies but continue to check in, some are pregnant, some of us still TTC. I'm in a weird situation as I 'graduated' but my son died shortly after he was born due to complications in the final hours of my pregnancy. So I'm TTC again. Most of us are IVFing or have done at least one IVF cycle. But we've also had au naturel pregnancies, clomid pregnancies, and IUI pregnancies between us!

Oh critter that's so sad :( was it quite sudden? Or did you expect it to happen?
I had a few pregnancy complications. I had one of my ovaries removed at 19+5 (abdominal surgery is zero fun when expecting your most precious person), a couple of extra admissions but we got him here safely in the end.
What's an ironidiff?

My understanding is 6months if over 35, 12 months if under.
However if you have a history of infertility or any medical conditions/problems which could cause problems then you can be referred after 6 months.
I'm hoping that having only one ovary is enough to get me referred for tests but I have the 10 years of infertility on my side too!
I just hope it doesn't come down to IVF. Seems such a long process, though it would appear the stats work in your favour if you've had a child in the past (according to the NICE guidelines).

Hi Patchwork. I'm a recent graduate (currently 29 weeks pg with a 4th round of IVF baby). I pop back frequently to cheer on the lovely ladies who gave me so much support.

The title of this thread is a bit misleading. As critter says, the thread was started three years ago, so most of us are now at the 3-4 year point.

Hey patchwork, thanks for your kind words. It was totally sudden and unexpected. I had a straightforward low risk pregnancy and then four days before my due date started bleeding heavily. Thought it was early labour, went to hospital, baby's heart rate was 90 and despite an emergency section it was too late, my son was severely brain damaged from blood loss and lack of oxygen and he died 20 hours later. They think that the blood vessels leading from the placenta into his cord ruptured. Sorry - don't want to scare you off our thread! The ladies here have been amazing to me.

Abdominal surgery while pregnant sounds terrifying. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I would definitely get an appointment at the GP ASAP. It sounds like you won't need IVF but there may be a small thing that could be tweaked. TTC is stressful enough at the best of times!

Critter you gorgeous girl, I continue to be completely in awe of your dignity and bravery in going forth into this round. I'm so glad the medication quantity made no difference. It's so true that this is all more art than science. Am also very glad that you're finding it comparatively easier going in terms of the round itself, you definately deserve a break. Not long now till transfer day. How are you feeling physically?

Euro, so glad for the growing feelings, that sounds like great news.

Ray I'm liking your plan a lot, I definately think a second opinion could be really useful, no one person has all the answers, and like Joy says a tweak in protocol could make all the difference. I'm so confident you'll get there eventually I really am.

Joy I've been thinking about the Katie Price thing today, and what if it wasnt a medical reason but she was more stressed or worked up about falling pg with the cage fighter? So many of us have had changes to cycles following starting trying it does make me wonder what effects our minds have on everything, but it's just impossible to control that isn't it? I really really hope that you're extracurricular project means this will work as your 'I was concentrating on something else and that's when it happened'. Glad you got the scan done, did they say anything when scanning you?

Fox massive squeeze. I feel like you've got this very special precious gift coming towards you - and that you're going to receive it perfectly. I have everything crossed, again you're being incredibly brave.

I've probably missed loads. I'm extremely tired. Work is full on at the moment, in a very absorbing but knackering way. I'm dreaming about work every night. Had the coils out today (ouch!). So now I'm having a whole month off everything, can't wait. And a nice holiday planned after that. And then who knows.

Patch I've been ttc 7 yrs in sept, and just had surgery on a septum. I always wonder with people like yourself who fall pg after such a long time about what really made the difference. Did you manage to stop thinking about it completely? Do you think you were more relaxed? It's all so odd isn't it.

Waves all round

Welcome patchwork- 10 years in incredible long time. Are you unexplained? And did you start trying when you were quite young? Did you ever wonder what you did differently the month it finally happened? Sorry so many questions but it is quite uplifting to hear a story like yours. I would chase your GP now.
I have been on this thread for over 3 years. Such an amazing lot of ladies. I think most have been successful over the years but a few of us have particularly stubborn bodies which haven't played ball. I've been trying for over 4 years now which seems like an eternity.

Critter - still gives me goosebumps reading over what happened. :(
Yes I hopefully will be kicking off in July. They need to sort my protocol out. Had about 10 blood tests today for recurrent m/c as well so that will be useful to know. Went back to my old clinic today to get all my paperwork as the new place has requested it and they take 40 days to photocopy it. I wish they would just give me it and I would do it in 15 mins but they won't budge. Bloody annoying considering they charge £30 as well.
How are you doing? Is it ET next week?

Cos - yippee to the coil coming out and yippee to holiday. I think you are closing in on something now. I really do.
They said the scan was fine but I did wonder whether it was the same as yours. They put a balloon inside and blew it up , was that what your 3d scan was like? I asked whether they could see a septum and the doc said "urrr no why do you have one?" I was like "no reason!". Just wondered whether I had something lurking like you.

Also I really do wonder whether the mind plays havoc with things. Might have to go and put that on the making sense of science board which I seemed to have posted rather a lot of questions on!

Critter I agree about reading over what happened again. I still can't believe it tbh.

Joy no I didn't have a balloon it was just like a normal scan. Yes that would be an interesting question for the board. July, that's a good month, plenty of time to get good doses of vit d in beforehand.

Doc today told me his parents were married 14 years before he arrived, and his brother arrived 14 myths later, and thinks the first one gave them confidence which helped the second one come along. I do like stories like that and they are quite common.

Btw on a lighter note, hilarious article in the fail online about a petition set up to try to persuade Beyoncé and jayz to do something about blue Ivy's hair.

joy given how much you have paid to your old clinic, I would be bloody livid about that. How petty.

cos hurrah for coils coming out and holidays. :)

I've had a completely exhausting day, with a lot of walking, a lot of driving and half a day's shooting. I am now collapsed on the sofa while mr euro sorts dinner.