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All that she wants is A baby! The Berries searching for the 'sign' but never symptom spotting (honest), possibly using a vagina jack and trying to get a FUFC before boarding the IVF train (thread 18)

999 replies

Bunnygirlie · 09/02/2014 22:30

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 12+months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot and def no mention of baby dust or baby dancing UGH !!! Ooooh aren’t we strict!

OP posts:
barkingtreefrog · 16/02/2014 00:53

So sorry win, that scan where there's no heartbeat is the worst thing in the world. Thanks
My mc happened naturally after the scan, but if I was in that situation again and it hadn't started I would definitely go for the d & c. I found the bleeding went on for many more days than I was expecting and it was a constant, cruel reminder of what was happening. Emotionally I think the d & c would have been easier, but I don't know. I mc in September and 5 months later my cycles are still messed up, it took 4 months before I had AF at all (without provera).

Be kind to yourself and take as much time off work as you need Thanks .

barkingtreefrog · 16/02/2014 00:59

Sorry, wasn't meaning to be negative. Just read my message back and don't think I was clear. I mentioned my messed up cycles as someoneSad said that could happen with the d & c but it happened to me anyway - just pointing out it's not necessarily a reason to avoid the d&c.
I found the mc boards very helpful. Glad DH is being great Smile
Have a hug from me Thanks .

tigerdog · 16/02/2014 06:42

win I'm so sorry to hear your news. Sad Hope you're bearing up ok. Take care of yourself. X

tigerdog · 16/02/2014 07:02

rp no need to poas as af has arrived. 4 days early. Confused

I can honestly say I have never (well in the 2.5 years I have monitored my cycle) had a cycle shorter than 27 days or had an issue with a short lp, so I am mightily confused, especially with all the unusual symptoms this cycle - spots, crazy forgetfulness, sore bbs etc. hmmmmm. Will dig out the thermometer and get temping again. I must have jinxed it when I posted about having very regular cycles.

Early af has also f'd up my dates now including our holiday in April, which no longer coincides with shag week which I had been pinning hopes on for a relaxed bfp of course assuming that my cycles don't f up again....

And just to put the icing on the cake (literally) today I am off to a baby shower, and I've got a load of baby themed cupcakes to make this morning. Great!

funkymonk · 16/02/2014 08:50

Tiger is it def af? Full flow?

tigerdog · 16/02/2014 10:07

Yep full flow funky which is heavy as hell and painful.

barkingtreefrog · 16/02/2014 10:25

Sorry tiger, it's bad enough when AF comes, but when it also means your cycles are wonky it's an extra kick in the face Sad Thanks .

The first beautiful sunny day in weeks and we're on our way to a sodding christening Angry . Complete with very complicated family politics (DPs, not mine). Can't wait to be on the drive home again...

happylass · 16/02/2014 18:33

Wino I'm so sorry to hear your very sad news. Hope you are being well looked after. As always we are all here as and when you need us. Take care Thanks

barkingtreefrog · 16/02/2014 19:46

How are you doing today wino? Any decision made? Hope you're taking some time off work to look after yourself.

RevoltingPeasant · 16/02/2014 19:54

Oh tiger :( I'm sorry.

winohhh · 16/02/2014 20:14

I'm alright thanks barking. The sadness comes in waves, but I don't think it's really going to sink in until after the physical stuff is sorted. I still haven't really decided what to do, keep swinging between medical and surgical. Currently thinking surgical, I just want it to be over!

How was the christening?

HampshireBlues · 16/02/2014 20:21

Hi All, sorry it has been a while - work has been manic - but now on a week's leave and have our 'implications' appointment on Thursday (our anniversary) so hoping to come away from leave in a better position - plus I can surf the internet and keep an eye on here. Unfortunately, although we have a night away planned AF has arrived, so may to content myself with the free Wine and very nice meal!

Wino I am so sorry to hear your news; I hope that you are hanging on in there and that you are coping as best you can.

Sid amazing news on your FUFC!
Gill 6 sounds pretty good; how long are you going to freeze them for. i am still surprised how different FCs work and regimens that they have; you would think that there would be some consistency!

Hope you have all had a good weekend - was really nice to see some sunshine today; hope it lasts Smile

FeatherFeather11 · 16/02/2014 20:40

Evening all, hope everyone enjoyed today's sunshine. I felt like a vampire heading out into daylight for the first ten minutes, but managed a huge walk across London which was lovely.

wino glad to hear you are bearing up. I hope whatever decision you make will have a swift physical recovery. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Flowers

gill 6 sounds really promising! When will you have your op? Soon, I hope.

tiger boooo to af. Hope you have a lovely hot water bottle and are mainlining ibuprofen. How was the baby shower? Have said it before, but you're a bigger woman than me!

Same to you barking. How was the christening? And how are wedding plans coming along? It's very soon, isn't it?

happy and funky you both well?

Notice it's been really quiet in here for a while. I've had a mad week at work and it's going to be even madder this week. Grrr. I need a break.

Still no af. Think it's CD60. Really think I ovulated last Sunday/Monday although I saw the acupuncturist on Friday and she looked at my temps and didn't seem to think so (she said that it looks like my body keeps trying, but not quite getting there). Anyway, she's but me on agnus castus/vitex - anyone ever tried it? Also, I had spotting yesterday and now it's gone. I have no idea what's going on....

barkingtreefrog · 16/02/2014 22:34

feather I was going to try angus castus after I tried vit B but then started on the clomid and didn't want to take anything else at the same time. Sorry about your cycles still being an arse. I just had 5 days of spotting followed by 5 days of bleeding, which is progress, better than no bleeding, but I'm still holding out hope for a 'normal' cycle! Shock

wino I know what you mean, that's why my gut would be to go for the surgery. I can't actually remember how long I was bleeding for but it felt like forever. Definitely more than 10 days though as I remember stupidly going to a wedding with a supply of night time sanitary towels and that was over a week after I'd started bleeding.

The christening was horrendous but it's over now. A whole church full of babies, bumps and toddlers. I struggled to hold it together through the service, then finally lost it at the party afterwards when DP had been holding his nephew for ages, and I just couldn't handle it any longer, seeing him with a baby when I can't give him one just kills me Sad .

Absolutely exhausted and one more week at school (late half term round here). Two parents evenings and an inset day, nightmare week ahead and still got wedding stuff to do!

Parsley2506 · 17/02/2014 07:40

winohh I hope you're holding up ok, just remember there is no right/wrong or best/worst option, you can only pick what feels appropriate for you. Wishing you lots of strength and remember we're all here when you need us.

barking sheesh that sounds like a proper endurance feat, well done for getting as far as you did.
I spent yesterday afternoon with my BFF and her 4 week old. Completely unpressurised situation as my BFF has been a real rock and it was lovely to spend time with her gorgeous DD but I feel like the ache is even more pronounced now.

Can I ask a Q of those of you further down the FC route. Are there any tests I should be pushing my GP for at the moment?
We had SA done on DH a year ago, then Day 2 and 21 bloods on me as well. Also had HyCoSy in June. Everything came back 'normal' and BFP arrived cycle 18.
I just feel like even tho I am sort of more optimistic after getting one natures BFP that at the same time I don't want to sit twiddling our thumbs hoping for the best when there are other things we could be checking. 18 cycles is still a really long fucking time, and my baby died, so it's not like it was a resounding success.

So yeah, long story short, if you were in my shoes what other tests etc might you push for bearing in mind we're only under GP care at the moment?

CatsCantFlyFast · 17/02/2014 07:51

Parsley not sure if you have read these...

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/fertility-tests.aspx

www.nice.org.uk/nicemedia/pdf/CG011publicinfoenglish.pdf

FeatherFeather11 · 17/02/2014 08:52

barking yes, the general line is that you shouldn't mix clomid and vitex as vitex is 'nature's clomid' - May as well give it a go while my cycle is all over the place. Great to hear that your cycle sounds like it's getting there, slowly but surely. The fact that you've had a proper bleed is progress, right?

parsley my FC usually do a hsg and also monitor two cycles to make sure you're ovulating. SA for oh and dildocam to take a look at things.

SidneyBristow · 17/02/2014 13:31

Parsley I think a lot of the testing offered by GPs depends on your area, and how helpful/sympathetic the GP is. I believe they're all supposed to follow a guideline about testing/referrals based on your age, but some GPs take the attitude that 80% of women get pg in the first year, and 95% by year 2 (or something like that) and push you off as much as possible. I had one like this and promptly switched doctors. Basically I found out what tests were offered based on age, and went in to request them as I hit each stage.

If you aren't offered something you feel you need, or if you feel like the wait is something more than you can stand, by all means go for a private MOT. We did, mostly to see if my tubes were blocked, but also bc we knew NHS IVF was never an option due to DH's existing children. There are plenty of places that offer testing packages, and you could then take results to your NHS FC appt, if your GP refers you, which could save you time.

Ultimately the tests DH & I had over 20 months were: FSH/LH/Progesterone (two sets), SA (twice), pelvic ultrasound, HyCoSy (privately), AMH (privately), antral follicle count (privately - all at same appt by the way), Clomid x3 (only took 1 month though, but it was monitored, and one of the scans was what revealed a polyp), subsequent polypectomy (privately but NHS would've done it if I'd opted to wait 3-6 months), and then all the bloodwork required by the IVF clinic we chose - full thyroid panel (more comprehensive than just a standard thyroid test), rubella, chlamydia, HIV, Hepatitis etc (varies by clinic). There may have been other tests on offer but I had no history of any complicating factors, so these were what were thought appropriate, or could possibly explain our "Unexplained Infertility" (which hopefully as of last week has been proven wrong!)

BlueBirdy · 17/02/2014 16:10

Win Sad It's so terrible how the elation of being pg can be so cruelly cut short by such devastating news. So sorry Thanks

Tiger the same thing happened to me once, was convinced at the time that it was an chemical pregnancy. It happened after implantation would have started but before af was actually due, but had no proof - just a feeling and knowing my body. It sucks when cycles don't play ball!

Feather glad you got to enjoy a bit of sun - hope your cycle sorts it's self out soon.

Parsley sometimes FC's like to see two SA's - otherwise you've had more tests than me, so I can't be of any help I'm afraid.

Barking sorry you had to swap the lovely sunshine for a room full of babies, sounds trying indeed!

We had a lovely walk on Dartmoor on Sunday, and managed to not have any negative jealous feelings about the 8 month old in tow probably because she was wailing all the way back and stressing out the poor mum progress for me nonetheless :)

winohhh · 17/02/2014 16:21

Thanks for all your support guys. Decision made, erpc booked for lunch time tomorrow. I have the rest of the week off work.

Sorry the christening was hell-ish barking. I really admire all of you who have been round babies and preggers people lately! I'm a long way from that at the moment.

Parsley, we paid to get some private blood tests rather than jump the gp hoops, so I'm not much help I'm afraid. We had fsh, amh, estrogen, progesterone, thyroid, SA. We're going to get the amh redone now things have gone wrong. The FC seemed to think it was an important one.

happylass · 17/02/2014 17:25

Hope you're doing ok wino. Thoughts will be with you tomorrow Flowers

Barking I feel your pain - we're also not on half term til next week. I've got a parents evening and a trip to France with 50 Year 9s to get through before then

Parsley just for comparaison these are the tests I had to have before the FC would see me (though it may have saved time if they'd also given this list to my GP Angry)

  • 2 progesterone tests done in consecutive months (I had 3 in non consecutive months)
-Thyroid function
  • Chlamydia
-Rubella immunity -FSH on cd 3 (GP did mine on cd9 because she didn't listen when I told her but the FC said not to worry) -SA for DP

From looking at everyone elses lists though they all seem quite ranfom. Could you get in touch with your FC and ask what they require?
Also,I've since had AMH and a HSG and DP has had a 2nd SA all ordered by the consultant at the FC. In hindsight I probably would have paid privately for a fertility MOT as soon as we realised this TTC business was taking a whle. Mainly because we could then have had the info about my low-ish AMH and DPs clumpy sperm a lot sooner and maybe done something about it earlier.

I'm good Feather, thanks for asking. DP treated me to a weekend in West Wales for my birthday. Was nice to get away and weather was the best it's been for a while. Our Zita West super vitamins arrived today so going to pop those for a few months to see if they make any difference. Ironically theres a pic of a bloke holding a baby on DPs vits - are they taking the mick or what?!?
Just gearing up for shag week though I'm feeling a bit like 'what's the point?' What with my crappy eggs and his clumpy sperm it's hardly worth the effort! Plus he's off to France with work on Thursday and I leave for the school trip on Friday so we're missing the crucial time anyway!!
How's everyone else doing? Any word from Pip lately?

Parsley2506 · 17/02/2014 18:17

wino I hope tomorrow goes smoothly for you, glad you've got some time off work too. I don't know what your employer situation is like but if you're able and you feel you need it, don't feel pressured into going back too soon if you're not up to it. I ended up taking nearly 3 weeks off and even then the first week back was shit frankly! Will be thinking of you

Thanks for all the advice ladies, you've given me a lot to think about! We've ticked off most of the standard NHS ones I think, although they are all nearly a year old now so might be worth asking for some double checks, especially MrP's SA - that was only done once.
I've heard of fancier SA tests that look at a wider range of possible problems than just the standard motility, morphology etc. etc.
Anyone know what I need to be googling to find a clinic that does these more thorough tests? MrP has tons of allergies, so I've sometimes found myself wondering if there might be some sort of antibody issue (is that even the right word!?)

happylass · 17/02/2014 18:37

Parsley DPs first SA was done in the path lab of a local hospital after he was sent there by the GP. This showed that everything was fine, although the motility was a little on the low side. The 2nd SA was ordered by the NHS FC but was done at a private clinic. I think this must have been a more in depth test as it was only from this that the issue of the clumping/sticking came up.
I would have thought any private clinic would do more thorough tests for you - maybe have a look on their website and see what they offer. I think Sid said her DH was due to gett some kind of detailed sperm analysis before they got their BFP?
I'm also quite an allergic person (as I believe quite a few of the berries are?) and I've often wondered if this has anything to do with our issues Hmm

CatsCantFlyFast · 17/02/2014 18:43

Anyone heard from Boodle recently?

happylass · 17/02/2014 18:49

Merks I was just thinking about Boodle too! Did she start the IVF after? I'm losing track. I'm friends with her on FB and I think she's been busy/away over the weekend so maybe she'll pop in and update us soon.