Fab Forty-Plus! Where are the BFPs...

[JBrd]

To keep this thread going, proving support to all of those of a 'riper vintage' wishing for a baby...

I have received so much help, advice and support here, so although I technically have graduated, I thought I'd get the next thread going to keep the momentum.

I am so sorry jass even when it might have been "expected" as you said hope has that way way of creeping in. Hope you are doing ok.

grizzer sorry AF came - onwards and upwards for next month.

Sorry to you may have missed your fertile period gum if there is a plus side to it - perhaps it might be nice not analyse symptoms for the next two weeks?? (Who am I kidding I would anyway - I remember taking a pregnancy test after my period had arrived just in case! .

Spotting has stopped here and feeling a bit rubbish - a bit like I am hungover - which I am choosing to take as a good sign! Boobs are starting to be a bit sore on the sides which I remember from my first pregnancy. Tests are still showing strong positives (thank god for internet cheapies) but I might use my other CB tomorrow as a treat . I am trying not to get too excited and hopeful in case it doesn't make it but that is hard to do....

Have to phone the clinic tomorrow and make an appointment for my 6-7week scan. it can't come soon enough really but I have to get through a weekend away with the in-laws and full extended family - there is absolutely no chance of people not noticing I am not drinking. That and we have friends over for dinner next weekend and that will be noted too I'm sure. Oh well - will cross those bridges when I get to them.

Xx

Green, it sounds like everything is progressing well. How lovely!

As for me, although I was away during ovulation (felt O pain on Friday, I think), we did have SWI on Tuesday. I wanted to have SWI on Thursday night too, but just couldn't muster the energy required after having several glasses of wine with friends! I suffered a bit on Friday for that, so now I'd like to swear off alcohol, my body just can't seem to manage it anymore.

Anyway, I took DD up to the city and we had a really lovely time. She is a darling 17 year old, really easy going, and we found a ball gown/dress in the first shop we went to. It is simple and pretty and suits her. What a relief!

We stayed in a lovely hotel in the water, ordered in Chinese and watched two movies in our pj's. Bliss! On Saturday I introduced DD to IKEA as she'd never been. Bloody hell that was exhausting! They ought to have exits along the way, it is a long walk through all the showrooms! Then we headed to another town, nearby, to see our friends. It was lovely to catch up with them and DD is staying there until Wednesday. I enjoyed the drive home alone, listening to the audio book "The Fault in our Stars".

Home now. Had SWI last night, just in case I hadn't already ovulated, but I think I may have. Amongst all that travelling and shopping, I didn't manage the thermometer or opk's. I did an opk when I got back, which was quite dark but not positive - so perhaps the tail end of the surge? I really don't know, my temperature is up a little bit this morning, so I think I have ovulated, but just don't know when it was.

Any thoughts?

I can live with that. I won't be holding out any hope, which hopefully means a peaceful tww that isn't full of "maybe"...

Green, could to hear your lines are doing what they need to do! Digis of course are the real hardcore test for whether you are moving in the right direction. i think if your lines are more or less equal on most tests with control line you are around 600-800 units of hcg, and when test line gets darker than control you are definitely over 1000:-) CB digi goes to 2-3 weeks from 200 and 3+ at 2000. It is aof course OK to moves lower up than CB thinks you should, it is based on averages after all!

Hi Everyone.

Now I am confused. I am sure I had achey ovaries last night, and I still have a residule ache on the left side. Does that mean I ovulated last night? My temperature has also risen this morning, though yesterday it was higher than the previous weeks temps (all last week, nothing over 36.20, yesterday 36.31 and today 36.51).

Oh boy, just when I thought I'd have a non-tww and a peaceful time

There's no way I will not be hopeful this cycle.

Jass, how are you feeling?

Diege, I meant to say in my long post, that I hope going back to work full-time isn't too hard, but speaking from experience, having a bunch of kids (and mine are much older than yours) and working full-time is really hard. Is your DH handy around the house?

Unfortunately my Dh is not and it is a bone of contention between us. There's no nice way to put it - he's lazy when it comes to anything domestic, and over the years it has been an issue, but I have learnt to bite my tongue. However, I am so sick of him playing bloody Kingdom Age on my ipad while I vacuum, do the laundry, organise the meals for the week and do the shopping online. I got so angry yesterday that I deleted the games off my ipad, then hid it! And when I go out today I am taking the damn thing with me. He'll probably do it on his phone instead, but I will no longer be an accessory to his addiction

When I talk to him about how the balance of domestic duties is unfair he always agrees and promises to try harder, but then falls into the old patterns. I'm getting very close to employing a cleaner, but I wanted to get the credit cards paid off first. Sigh. Yesterday my washing machine stopped working, so now I have to find some money to buy a new one.

OMG! Sorry! I started asking after you, Diege and have talked about myself.

So, how is it, working full-time?

Fireflies??? What's going on? Have you tested, or did AF turn up?

Gum, I am still feeling tortured:-) because even if I know I almost lost the line last week it has now come back and I have not been even spotting. (I did before my first positive test and I never have had a positive outcome after getting bfp with "implantation bleed". ). I know I have miscarried and the reason I now have rising hcg is blighted ovum being left over and it tends to grow a bit longer. But i got a really strong line today, 22-23DPO and clearblue said pg 2-3. This is the torturous part of it - I know there is no living baby because of hcg drop which lasted several days, I have had this to happen several times, I know there is no hope, but I hope. I think like if I were a normal person I would have maybe done a test or 2 last week mO-tue, obviously had a Pg1-2 on clearlblue. today, 8 days later - very reasonable - clearblue said 2-3. A normal person would assume this is a sticky bean, wouldn't she? So, even if I know that I am not normal and have monitored very closely what is going on, I have this unhelpful hope. I know it will only be a blighted ovum if the hcg keeps going and gets to 1000, I may get to see this on ultrasound. there can be no baby. But then I read misdiagnosed mc site and there are, among 1000 stories maybe one or two where hcg was fluctuating under 1000 and it ended well. So, you know very well how hopeless hope feels. I am somewhere in this land.

I hope your OV indeed was late and this is your miracle month.....

JassS so sorry to hear about the roller coaster of a time you're having. I am keeping my fingers crossed that you are wrong about the dips in hcg and that you're not heading for another mc.

Diege hello. Nice to see you again. I think you managed to slip in another DC while I wasn't looking!! 6??!! And as for nicking 'Toners & Shaders' !! Took me back a bit!!

Gum thanks for asking. Damned AF showed up last week, and only on day 24 or so, so I think that is suggesting a luteal phase defect as ovd on day 14. Need to look into that. OMG, I felt sick as a pig with PMT. Could barely do anything that day. It was like being preggers - I felt pretty sick and had a horrendous headache. Even DH got his hopes up.

Hope this is a good month for you in the end, Gum. Sounds like you had a lovely time with DD too. I am looking forward to taking DS to festivals. He's still a bit young yet, but I will have a great excuse when I am really old.

DFIL is desperately ill so we have been caught up sorting him out and trying to make his house a bit cleaner/more hygienic for when he can come back home. No wonder the poor chap had such a sudden decline. Turns out he has at least three different types of cancer. I can't believe he's managed so long as it is. On the upside, DS gets to spend lots of time visiting Granny and Grandpa, so that is nice for the three of them.

Waves to the rest of you. Am exhausted so will try and catch up with you all better soon.

Fireflies, sorry to hear about your FIL. Sounds rather similar to mine. At the moment DH is busy trying to find a nursing home for him as MIL isn't up to looking after him and we think she's showing signs of dementia. God this ageing and rapid decline is sad and awful.

Sorry to hear that AF turned up, and made you sick and was early! How dare she do all that. Bitch! I wouldn't worry too much about a LP defect at this stage unless it happens every month, especially as you are still breastfeeding which is part of the equation, I think. I think if you have gotten into a routine with BF and then baby has extra feeds, for whatever reason (not well, not sleeping, teething etc) it can send mixed messages to your body.

B-complex is very good for lengthening the LP I believe. Or Agnus castus.

I had acupuncture yesterday which was very nice, though I felt she left me too long on the table - I think I lay there for almost an hour. I wonder if she'd maybe forgotten me Anyway, apparently my pulses and energies where very good. which seems to always be the case when I am on holiday. I wish I could maintain this feeling, but it is difficult to do so when you are super busy and with that comes stress. She believes stress causes many problems with our health, and I think she thinks it affects my ability to conceive. I am not sure I agree. I really think my inability to conceive a thb is all down to my age, as I managed it over and over in my 20's and 30's whenever I wanted to despite the stress of work and kids. In fact I conceived my DD at an extremely stressful time, when I had three kids aged 6 and under, we were building a new house, I was working full-time and we were ferrying the kids to a school miles away from our work and the other one to daycare. I remember it being highly stressful, and bingo! Dd was conceived because I felt a twinge of ovulation pain and had sex, and was pregnant. I was 34 at the time.

I didn't even know what an OPK, LH, AMH, LP, etc etc was. Ah how times have changed

Jass, I am really sorry you are going through this tumultuous time. I have an inkling of how it is, to have those tests, light, then dark, then light...for me it was always a sign of miscarriage, however, with the digi saying 2-3, I would feel hopeful. Have you considered getting a beta blood test? I think you know better than anyone, including doctors, what's going on in your body. I hope you can have some peace, either way, soon.

It's already Wednesday of my last week of holidays I have had a lovely time, not doing too much, but having time to do things if needs be. Today the plan is to clean out my linen closet which is more a storage facility for everything, plus a bit of bedding. However, it has baby things in there, and I honestly don't know what to do with them. I have listed a couple of things on Ebay, but I don't really want to sell the basinette attachment for the pram, or the beautiful leather rocker recliner I splashed out on for DS. HOwever, they are taking up valuable space that I need in order to tidy up the clutter...I also have a lovely stroller, but it has gotten a bit of mould on it and I know that a mum isn't going to want that for their special little one. I just don't know what I'll do with it all. I'll probably just transfer it into DH's workshop, which will not thrill him - he'll just want to be rid of it. I suppose it is symbolic of giving up ttc. Which I am not totally ready to do just yet.

Maybe if I get rid of the stuff it will be "Murphy's Law" and I'll be upduffed as soon as they're off the property...

Firelflies, sorry to hear about your FIL. Such a difficult period.....

I also stand by agnus castus and b6 vitamin to lengthen the LH. Mine went from 9 to 12-14 within months.

i do not plan to get a beta here in luxembourg, as it means visit doctor - get prescription - pay 20 euros ( plus doctor' s bill obv). I will leave for home country friday where you can just turn up for a beta and get it for 8 euros (less than a cost of clearblue digi). I had another strong positive today, dug out my last pg test gallery when i did betas and the line seems to correspond to sth. around 600 units. Which is not hopeless for 4w5days at all, apart from the fact i almost lost the line for two days.... I tend to try and enjoy the pregnancy, even if I know chances are against me. I feel positively pg - sick in the morning, sleepy, hurtful boobs etc. I know blighted ovums do this, too. But I have not felt so pg with any of them, also I have no spotting at all since 13dpo, so it is different. hut each mc has its character as does every pregnancy, of course. Plan is to stick head in sand and only do blood test at 6 weeks, i.e. Friday next week. I save one cb digi for that day, if it says 3+ by then, i will go for a blood test. Unless i start bleedign before, of course.

Jass, anyone else, without your background of multiple miscarriages, would probably be feeling hopeful. I know I would be. I hope the wait isn't too long and that you have answers soon. I also hope for a happy outcome for you.

Green, did you do your other CB digi test?

Grinch, JustPick, how are you feeling?

Well, I cleaned out the linen closet, took all baby things (bar the leather recliner rocker which I will keep whether I have a bub or not, it was expensive and is so lovely, I'll use it for the grandkids ).

So I've taken down the basinette and baby bath and photographed them, not sure what to do next - gumtree maybe? I listed the baby swing, mobile, cloth nappies and sling on ebay. Sigh...It is easy enough to get these things again. All the baby blankets are going to the thrift shop (apart from DS's special one, which he still snuggles with).

Part of me feels good about getting the clutter sorted, but another part of me feels really sad at not having the baby things anymore, when I'd still love to have a baby.

One funny (weird) thing happened last night. DS crawled onto my lap and said, "Are you pregnant mummy? Do you have a baby inside your tummy?" [melt] I told him, no, just ate too much dinner! Then he wanted to hear all about when he was born and played at being a helpless baby for a while. Perhaps he has a 6th sense... More likely that I am a bit too round around the middle!

Gum, all baby blankets in our house servve later as play blankets and outside sitting-on-the grass blankets:-) I still have my own from 1970, i use it for ironing table cover:-). mine was 100% cotton.

I have given away most of my stuff, incl. prams etc. It does not seem to help....
My youngest insisted there must be at least one more baby left in my tummy for quite some time, even if he could not know of our difficulties. But i very much believe those under 7 feel things and know differently than grown-ups do.....

Hello All!

Who's melting in the heat??!! It is bloody hot here and tomorrow's supposed to be even hotter. DS made my heart melt as he nodded off in the pushchair on the way home this morning whilst sucking an ice lolly. Awww. Then he woke up and cried when I leant over and bit the top off!! Still, he is currently fast asleep and I am not waking him up as I am sure getting him off to sleep tonight in this heat will be a nightmare until later on anyway.

Gum and Jass thanks for the sympathies and top tips on B vits and Agnus Castus. I am taking lots of the former, but haven't added AC to my list. Think I will as lots of you have good things to say about it. I guess that, as I am only a few weeks into taking the whole great list of supps I should be patient. DS was conceived 3 months in, and I have heard others say you need about 3 months worth before it really kicks in. So I will try to stay calm and not stress.

V impressed with your resolve to declutter, Gum. Honestly, I would flog anything you can. You probably won't want a mouldy old stroller either if you do have another baby. You'll find the cash if you need it! Give it a good wash and put it on Gumtree! Spooky what your little one said though.

I am going to start doing the same with any toys for DS which I didn't like at the time. I can't bring myself to get rid of any clothes yet though unless I don't like them. V diff to find the time though when we are constantly going away for a few days at a time looking after DFIL.

Jass keeping my fingers crossed for you still!

Hi to everyone else. Time for another ice lolly I think!!

i just made banana ice cream for meself while watching le tour. scorching here as well. have to get through a work dinner tonight and then off for hols, check in all done and taking off 5 in the morning tomorrow:-)) Home soon after lunch - i hear the sea in my ears if i think about it now, and i mean hundreds of kilometers of the seaside for 1 million people - pure bliss, no crowds really if you bother to go a bit away from the plages of the capital and touristy towns!

Mmmmm, banana ice cream sounds good jassS. So does relaxing by the sea. Where are you going?

Hello, I'm almost 43. I had a baby recently - eighteen weeks ago - and want another one (hence the username). Can I join, please?

Hello everyone I know I'm a bit early (not 40 for 4 weeks) but could I possibly join you a little early? I'll behave myself I promise! If not I'll just lurk in the corner for another month!

I already have 4 boys (17, 15, 13 and 11) with my exH but now my DP and I have decided that we really want a baby together. I had my implant out this morning and we're rolling up our sleeves ready to try!!

I'm concerned about my age but my GP has told me that my age is almost young these days and not to worry about it! I like my GP a lot!!

Greedy and Probably, welcome! I think Greedy if you indeed want another one, you need to move fast!

Probably, barely 40 is nothing. Your doc is right. good luck!

Fireflies, I am going north, to Estonia. I am Estonian, in fact. Hence my probably not so natural English.

I can't go much faster than this, Jass!

Have a wonderful holiday Jass. I have just googled and it is a beautiful country. Enjoy the seaside. I hope it is nice and warm for you.And I hope all will progress with the pregnancy.

Welcome to Probably and Greedy. To me you are both very young. I think we can safely say I am by far the oldest on this thread. Oh to be 43 again!

I think 40 is very youthful, so I think your chances are very good, Probably and you have proven fertility.

Greedy, as you've just had a little One, your body will probably be quite receptive to getting pregnant.

Nothing new to report here. I am taking DS to a playdate this morning and he is nervous because it is two little girls. Bless! He has tried to get out of it, but I really like their mum so he'll have to brave it

Calibee, are you back from the trip to Hubby's homeland? How was it? How's the IUI coming on? I would love to hear from you.

Waving to everyone else. Drop in and see us. Mumalah, I haven't seen you in ages...

BTW, Greedy, meant to ask, how long were you ttc your baby?

Welcome Greedy and Probably. I agree entirely with what Jass has said! May your stay with us be short and fruitful!

Greedy, I was a few weeks shy of 43 when I had DS. The plan was to have the next one asap after DS. For whatever reason it's not worked out so far. For the time being we are trying naturally, considering using a frozen embryo from an earlier round of IVF or doing a fresh cycle.. or adopt.. or maybe just steal a newborn... Dust off your dancing shoes and get on with it!! Plenty of people will tell you how difficult it could be, but you will manage because you have to, like you'd manage if you had twins or triplets or quads or whatever. BTW, DS was a natural conception and my first pregnancy. Hope it's not my last. I am heading for 45 very fast!

Jass Ah, Estonia. I had no idea. I hadn't detected an accent in your writing, I just thought it was a bit manic with the massive amounts of info in one paragraph! One of my fave mates is Estonian. We met on a train and are still friends 13 years on, though sadly don't see much of each other as both in diff countries with little ones. We had a fabulous time visiting her and her hubby in Tallin. Beautiful city. We never made it to the beach, but she often talked about it and it sounded wonderful. How do you cope without a sauna??!! And you are so far from the sea in Luxembourg. Have a lovely holiday back home. Hope to hear from you again soon, and once more, fingers crossed. Oh, and terviseks!!

I am winding down after a long day. DS had the most amazing nap this afternoon for 3 hours in the end. Took him very late to the outdoor pool this evening. Was lovely. So cooling, and met some really nice people too. Poppet didn't go to sleep until 1030 and I really feel for him now as his room is apparently 32 degrees at the moment!

DH had to rush off to see his father this evening. He has declined so fast and so suddenly. It is barely six weeks since the 4 of us did a 2 mile walk to the beach and sat in the sunshine eating fish and chips. I've not heard from DH and he should have arrived with DFIL over two hours ago so I am assuming the worst.

It's funny, I always thought it was awful when some rellies of my used to talk about a heart attack being the best way to go. I totally get it now!!

Another verbose post from me. :-) And I've tried to edit it down!! Sweet dreams all. FF xx

Gumblossom I fell pregnant the first month of trying, but that was last June when I was 'only' almost 42 My friend is a highly-regarded nutritionist in this area of the country and insists sugar is the fertility killer, coupled with cortisol. I have a very good diet and am well within the recommended BMI. I don't drink or smoke either but I refuse to do any kind of exercise other than pushing the pram. I hate gyms! They don't work!

Fireflies, when you were going through IVF did the clinic identify whose problem it was (ie you or your husband)? I guess if you managed to conceive once that is all that matters but I would need to know, I think. Not sure why. I hope you have success trying naturally. I am enjoying my baby enormously although the first seven weeks were rubbish and kind of wish I wasn't in a rush to have another. She is all I need, but I fear a life without a sibling would be to deprive her somewhat of the joy I found in my sister.

Gum we cross-posted last night/this morning. How was the playdate? Love the idea of your DS being overwhelmed by twin girls. My DS would have been in heaven! He loves girls!!

Greedy interesting what you say about sugar and cortisol. Ties in with what others have been saying on the thread. Had better dig out the exercise DVD and sort the diet out. DH said he was all for us going carb/sugar free, but then keeps sabotaging my efforts to fill us up with healthy things like salad and fish with gifts of jelly beans and enormous cookies. I will let him off as it's a comfort thing which I am sure we can deal with soon enough. Is a bit frustrating though.

Gum I bet the bit about corsitol will get you going. :-) Ties in with what your acupuncturist says. Can you get home corsitol tests? Is making me think too. We have had a terrible time with some neighbours, which has included physical attacks, threats and verbal abuse and vandalism of our property, not to mention a complete smear job on us to the rest of the street. Thankfully they have moved out so I am already breathing a sigh of relief, and feel much safer and calmer already going out onto the street and also into the garden, but they seem to still be in the area nearby and have only let their property out, so they are not gone for good yet. Perhaps we will have some more success TTC now?

Greedy that's amazing, falling pregnant so quickly. Impressive!! Yes, I do know what our probs TTC are/were. I have/had (may have changed since, pregnancy can unblock) a completely blocked tube, and ICSI was recommended for one of our tries as DH's sperm were not utterly fabulous. DS was conceived immediately after the second failed IVF cycle. I am considering whether to book myself in for a light D&C as I was found to have a polyp and 'fleshy' lining before.

So, I bought some CB OP sticks and when I tested this morning I got a smiley 'high' from that and a 'low' from the monitor!! Regardless of why/what that is all about, DH is away, so I guess it's not going to be a very lucky month.

Waves to all. Hope you're enjoying the heatwave if it's affecting your area. I am planning another trip to the pool when DS wakes up.

Fireflies, does the desire for a second (and last!) baby become obsessive, do you think? I so don't want to spoil this high with my baby by bewailing AF's arrival every month. I suspect I largely want another baby to simply satisfy my enormous yearning to be pregnant again; I absolutely adored every single minute of it - the massive belly and stares from the public; strangers patting my bump and asking all about the due date - I just loved it and want to experience it all over again. I seriously could be a surrogate if age wasn't against me. Enjoy your swim

fireflies sorry about your FIL. Hope it isn't the npbad news you expect.

Welcome probably and greedy! I echo others wishes that your stay will be be brief. You are both youngsters compared to me at 45 (how did this happen?)

Well today I am 5 weeks and I used the other CB digi feel very proud of my legendary restraint by lasting this long frankly and I got a 3+ so feeling a bit more positive about this pregnancy making the distance. I have a scan booked for 1 August to confirm all ok but how am I going to last another two weeks?? I will be 7 weeks then (hopefully) so should be able to see the heartbeat. My boobs are still a bit sore and I am still feeling hungover/a bit sick so that's all good .

jass enjoy your holiday - did you do another test yet? I think you are/were tracking the same dates as me?

gum I would sell everything you can and when you get you longed for baby - you can treat yourself to some new stuff smile

Anyone heard from morien - I was wondering how she is getting on?

Nearly finished work and will be off out to enjoy the sunshine with (non-alcoholic) drink by the river....

Fireflies, terviseks! we landed at midday and were on beach by four in the afternoon. it is so good to be home! I have still no pain and no bleeding and have decided to take the approach of a "normal" person for now. I do not do tests, just live and enjoy that I am five weeks pg. I feel definitely pg. Decided really to enjoy it while I can and took myself out of town for week.No pharmacies, no tests. Try mentally to connect with my inner being and relearn pregnancy innocence. it seems to help, even if I risk a huge fall off the cliff if I go longer without signs of mc and then have one. But hysterically worrying may actually do harm, and certainly cannot do any good.....

Green, I an five weeks too today. But there is no way I could be in3+ territory, having passed into 2-3 only 4 days ago. Good luck with th scan!

Gum, how was the playdate?
Irish, how is baby doing now?
Calibee, hope wherever you are that it is a happy place to be!