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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Fab Forty-Plus! Where are the BFPs...

992 replies

JBrd · 07/02/2014 08:50

To keep this thread going, proving support to all of those of a 'riper vintage' wishing for a baby...

I have received so much help, advice and support here, so although I technically have graduated, I thought I'd get the next thread going to keep the momentum.

OP posts:
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TheGrinchWearsStripes · 01/07/2014 21:15

Thank you fireflies that's really kind of you! And thanks too just I think I am happy although I still don't really believe it after assuming for two weeks that I was menopausal!

May I stay here? Who knows what will happen, and I just feel elderly in the antenatal pages...

Inshock73 · 01/07/2014 21:26

Wow! Congratulations Grinch wonderful news!

Isabeller · 01/07/2014 21:48

Wow, fantastic news Grinch! xxx

Grizzer · 01/07/2014 22:43

Congratulations Grinch that's fabulous news. Of course you must stay, it's the pregnancy stories that give us all hope! Fingers crossed for you Justpick it sounds quite promising.
Sorry you've had to wait so long for post mortem JBrd but hopefully you will get some answers soon.
Thanks for your words FF. Sadly DH thinks TTC in your 40's is not a good idea & wants us to accept it's not going to happen & move on.
Really interested in your comments Jass, I also had to have the placenta surgically removed on both longer pregnancies. With dd it wasn't discovered until 4 weeks later & by then I had a massive blood clot so I can understand why my body would think another pregnancy might kill me! Do you just go to your gp & request tests? I wish I'd known this after my 2nd pregnancy. I feel I've left everything too late now. Will definitely look into the immune thing though.

Gumblossom · 01/07/2014 23:23

Wonderful news Grinch!!! So pleased for you. I hope it is smooth sailing from hereon.

Grizzer, sorry to hear that your DH wants you to move on. It wouldn't hurt to have the testing done would it? From what jass is saying, it could be a possibility.

justpick, I hope your delayed AF is no AF and a nice BFP on Saturday.

Gumblossom · 02/07/2014 00:08

BTW Grinch, remind us of how you did it (no, I don't mean thatHmm!). I mean, you know, which supplements etc...I am just a bit too time strapped to go back and reread the thread!

I've just been browsing Amazon, I clicked on the link for the new advanced clearblue fertility monitor. I wonder if it is so advanced that it will miraculously make me pregnant??? I think it won't make any difference because I don'y really have any trouble pinpointing ovulation.Sad So I should just save my money. I then spotted a bundle of stuff on ebay : 20 clearblue smiley face ov tests, 20 wondfo preg tests, 2 digital preg tests, 2 first response preg tests, 3 clearblue preg tests and some of those soft cups. Is it worth spending $100 on? Seems like a lot of stuff, but would it be worth the $100.

I almost clicked on buy it now, but I thought I should probably step back and think it over.

What do you think?

It is probably a silly idea, just fuelling a silly obsession???

Justpickagoddamnname · 02/07/2014 08:13

Well there is definitely more than one hundred dollars worth of stuff there Gumblossom. You could probably sell on any unused stuff. It is up to you really.

Gumblossom · 02/07/2014 09:04

Oh noJustpick, I think your tiny bit of encouragement might just tip me over to buying the stuff...And let's face it, I spend about $30 a month just buying First response preggo tests, because although I have the internet el-cheapos, I never trust them anyway Hmm

Heading back to ebay now...

TheGrinchWearsStripes · 02/07/2014 09:11

...and just think, gum they might be selling them because the first lot they used worked!

Back soon, off to a graduation!

JBrd · 02/07/2014 13:25

Congratulations Grinch, that is great news! Here's to a boring and uneventful pregnancy.

I'm getting rather anxious and stressed again since our return from holiday - basically, since I have started thinking about ttc, pregnancy, miscarriage etc again... It just seems such a mountain of things that need to be considered. And I find myself wondering if I can face it all again.
I've signed up for a special yoga class to help me calm down, relax and maybe/hopefully help with the healing process, so that I might be able to make up my mind about what I want to do. First class is tonight, and I am quite curious. And worried - it is meant for women like me who are suffering from fertility issues/miscarriages, and I'm a bit worried that it might all get very emotional... I'm not keen on crying in front of complete strangers! But we will see. I've met the teacher, and she is lovely, so hopefully, it will be fine.

OP posts:
Justpickagoddamnname · 02/07/2014 13:32

I really hope the yoga does help you. I started yoga a few years ago to help with pain I got from having a job which involves sitting for most of the day. But I have actually found it really helpful emotionally. I find it incredibly calming. At times, when life has been really, really tough and I have felt like I was collapsing, going to that class once a week and just finding my mind letting go and relaxing whilst I concentrated on the poses, really really helped me to get through. I come out feeling that bit calmer and that bit more connected within myself. So good luck with it. Let us know how it goes.

greenlizard · 02/07/2014 17:57

Well ladies I currently have two 5 day top class blastocyst embryos on board and another two in the freezer Grin. Surely this will be the most tortuous two week wait yet? Apparently if the blasts are going to implant they are going to do it within 24 hours Shock so I have to take it easy.

It was curiously emotional experience for what was quite an undignified procedure (there seemed to be quite a lot of people having a good look at/up my lady garden and making small talk whilst we were waiting for my uterus to "relax" after they had inserted the catheter Smile).

jbrd your yoga class sounds very restorative and that is was you might need right now. Have you also thought about massage? I think that grief and stress really affect the way we carry ourselves and tense up our muscles - the mind and body are so connected. Years ago when my ex had just left me with a crippling mortgage and a broken heart I went to relate counselling once a week and had a massage once a week - I swear they were got me through the healing process. You will get through this and so sorry you have had to wait for the PM - the waiting must make it so difficult. You don't need to make a decision right now about TTC - focus on you first. Flowers

gum you do make me chuckle because I do exactly the same kind of things....enjoy your eBay purchase, as grinch says maybe they are lucky ones Grin

grinch congrats!!!! (Do you have any spare lucky HPTs hanging around your house?) Hope it is all plain sailing for you and your bean and you have managed to get your head around it!

Xxx

10000Fireflies · 02/07/2014 22:43

Justpick Keeping my fingers xd for you for Saturday. I hope you won’t need it, but you can apparently read the CBFM sticks by eye, despite what they say. I have been told that if you hold the "wet" end (with cap on, of course!) in your right hand, the first line on the left tests your E2 Estroidal and will get LIGHTER as it rises. I have also heard some people say they think it’s incorrect sometimes. The second line tests your LH and will get darker when this rises and peaks. Also, found some pics on the same thing and general chat: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2079580-A-thread-for-anyone-TTC-with-a-ClearBlue-Fertility-Monitor

TheGrinch that must be the best feeling, thinking you were menopausal and actually being pregnant! Have you come down yet? Of course you should stay on here and keep posting. I did and found it really helpful. There might be a 40s preggo thread on MN too. I have a feeling it comes and goes. Don’t take that as a hint that you should bugger off though. I felt really ancient on my antenatal thread and they just didn’t have the info to help with some of the issues I was facing as preggers oldie.

Grizzer sorry, I don’t know your exact age, but there was a survey on getting preggers by Netmums out this week which had some positive stats about pregnancy in your 40s.Maybe it has some stats to help back you up?

Gum thanks for sharing your diet tips. I know you’ve talked about the paleo diet before. Wonder if it’s what they call the caveman diet here? Did you crack and buy your bargain bundle of preggo tests and stuff? I can’t bear to have stuff like that in the house. I will only buy them when I crack, and even then as few and as cheap as possible. You deffo don’t need a CBFM!! You clearly are an expert in tracking your cycle.

Jbrd How was your class? It sounds great. I have a fertility flow yoga DVD somewhere I should dig out.

Way to go Green!! Good luck!! OMG< it is so unbelievably undignified, isn’t it? At The Lister you have to speak to the Embryologist while you are on the couch, which is pumped up to a good height, and you have your legs akimbo – . They point you, fanny forwards toward the hatch, which the embryologist pops out from… Humiliation asides, are you taking Selenium? Helps implantation. Brazil nuts have a good level of them apparently. Sticky vibes.

A friend of mine has recently had a messy breakup and I was amazed by how chilled he was, considering he’d been dumped virtually at the altar. Apart from daily gym visits and having an incredibly saintly diet, he’s also doing a daily meditation via an ipad app. I’m trying to use his success as motivation to change my diet a lot. Is difficult as DH is not keen to drop carbs. He’d probably just laugh at me over the idea of meditating too.

Has anyone taken Inositol? How about Melatonin? I am thinking of adding them to my list of supps. Will do if no success soon. Where do you get Melatonin? It seems loads of TTCers are taking it.

Well, I managed to get DS to sleep before 10/11pm tonight which is a relief as he has been very unsettled recently. And he has finally started eating properly again. He’s gone through a super fussy stage for a couple of months, and yesterday I was dismayed as he really only wanted to eat chips and strawberries, but today, finally, he ate spag with meatballs.. So, time for me to get some rest and keep my strength up as if TTC not successful this month AF will be very nasty I fear.

Justpickagoddamnname · 03/07/2014 08:52

Well, I didn't manage to hold off till Saturday. Tested today and got a BFP! Should never have cheaper out on two for a fiver pee sticks from boots ( they gave me the bfns). Good old clear blue came through for me today.

I am trying not to get too excited as I know I am far from out of the woods yet, but who am I kidding, I am excited.
1000fireflies, thanks for the tips! And I saw that encouraging netmums survey too. Was very interesting.
I have used meditation too. I find all that stuff yoga, meditation, hypnotherapy really helpful. Your dh should read the science on mindfulness. I went to a talk by a bona fida neuroscientist on her research into mindfulness. There is top quality research data on it's benefits!

greenlizard · 03/07/2014 09:00

Woo hoo justpick congratulations!!!!!!!!!! FlowersFlowersFlowers this is very exciting news so who can blame you for being excited! Hope it all goes well you have a smooth uneventful journey.

I can't remember where you were on you TTC journey?

JBrd · 03/07/2014 09:01

Wow , green, that is so exciting! Crossing everything for you! But I honestly don't envy you this 2ww... How are you going to stay sane?!

Well, as I feared, I literally cried throughout almost the whole yoga class last night Confused
We were only 5 people, and at the start, we did a little introduction, very informal, and you can say as much or as little as you like - I barely managed to say my name, that we've been ttc for nearly 2 years and that I've had 4 mcs, and then I couldn't hold it together anymore. Thankfully, no one bat an eyelid, they probably get that a lot, given that everyone there is in a similar situation to me.

But it made me realise that there is still obviously a lot going on behind my 'all back to normal' façade... I thought I'd be OK talking about it, as I've had no problems when talking with friends recently, but I think that I've been quite good at pushing things away, instead of dealing with them.
So I think I'll dig out that leaflet for the counselling at some point this weekend and make an enquiry...

OP posts:
JBrd · 03/07/2014 09:03

Oooo, just crosspost! Congratulations! Thanks

OP posts:
Inshock73 · 03/07/2014 11:00

Very exciting on here at the moment! :)

Congratulations Justpick that's wonderful news! Keep us updated!!

Green Wow that is so exciting! I have everything crossed for you.

10000Fireflies · 03/07/2014 12:04

Woohooo!!! Another BFP!! Wow!! Congratulations Justpickagoddamnname. I am so glad you don’t need the CBFM info. And thanks for your tips on mindfulness.

JBrd have some big un-Mumsnetty hugs. And some Cake too. And maybe some Wine? Well done for going and getting through it. I am sure each week will get easier as your healing process really begins. We’ve crossed paths on and off over the past couple of years, but I hadn’t realised just how much heartache you’d had to deal with. Full of admiration for you that you can even manage to get up in the mornings.

10000Fireflies · 03/07/2014 12:06

Thanks Thanks Thanks Thanks Thanks ThanksThanks Thanks ThanksThanks Thanks ThanksThanks Thanks ThanksThanks Thanks ThanksThanks Thanks ThanksThanks Thanks ThanksThanks Thanks ThanksThanks Thanks ThanksThanks Thanks ThanksThanks Thanks ThanksThanks Thanks ThanksThanks Thanks ThanksThanks Thanks ThanksThanks Thanks ThanksThanks Thanks ThanksThanks Thanks Thanks

Flowers for the snug. To celebrate Just's good news, and for all the rest of us because we are all so fantastically fabulous. Good news comes in threes. Who's next? Smile

Gingerbreadlady1 · 03/07/2014 12:49

Ladies, I'm just popping over from the old birds thread to say a massive congrats to just and grinch. You're bfp's have got us all excited over there. Hope you both have a boring and lovely 9 months. Congratulations again Thanks

Inshock73 · 03/07/2014 13:27

((Waves)) to Ginger :)

Gingerbreadlady1 · 03/07/2014 13:30

See you on old birds later inshock, you get about lol! Wink

Inshock73 · 03/07/2014 13:51

The old birds and the fab forties are full of lovely people, great advice and encouragement I can't help it! :)

Justpickagoddamnname · 03/07/2014 18:37

Hugs to you jbrd. I hope the counselling helps. You've been through a tremendous amount.

Thanks to you all for your congratulations.
Green lizard, best good wishes going your way over the next two weeks. Really hope that there is a BFP coming up with your name on. You asked where we were in TTc. We have been incredibly fortunate as this was our first month of TTc.