Fab Forty-Plus! Where are the BFPs...

[JBrd]

To keep this thread going, proving support to all of those of a 'riper vintage' wishing for a baby...

I have received so much help, advice and support here, so although I technically have graduated, I thought I'd get the next thread going to keep the momentum.

Fatty, I don't think preseed can do any harm, so why not add it? I think I used it the month I fell pregnant with my DS, but I was also using it in the months prior to getting pregnant, and then again wasn't using it when I fell pregnant with one or two of my miscarriages. So I can't say definitively that it made the difference, but it didn't hinder chances either.

Green, what an exciting journey, and, yes, nerve wracking! Great news that you got 9 eggs.Can't wait to hear how they go. Very excited for you!

Hi Diege. Yes, I just know (despite grasping onto some false optimism ) that I am not pregnant this time. So now I just wait for AF.

I've woken with a shitty low temperature and a another bloody head-cold! FFS, I reckon I've caught every one going this season. I am so sick of being unwell or dealing with the ill in our household. This is by far the worst winter we've had, and we're barely a month into it. I think that working full-time actually has made a difference to my ability to cope with everything and part of that, I suppose is being healthy. Despite all the stuff I try to do, like exercise regularly and eat well, somehow my immunity is compromised - I guess being in the classroom full-time means I am more likely to pick up bugs, and with youngest DS at school full-time too - he brings home more bugs. That, along with the fact that we have 7 people living in this house must mean we have more chance of catching random germs...

My plan of attack is to give my house a thorough scrubbing when I am on term break (only a week away), get loads of healthy food into everyone, fresh air daily and exercise.

Being unwell has kind of sabotaged my diet - it is hard to fast two days a week when I am sick alot, or overtired, so weight has crept on.

Enough whinging from me, sorry!

I have to take DS to a birthday party this morning, and DD to a netball game. I usually have a swim, but my head is pounding and full of snot, so that won't be happening...Bah..Humbug..

Hello Fab40+s, I just saw the thread go past and had to drop in. I was on a previous thread, awake feeding 6mo DS now. I needed help from an egg donor for both medical and age reasons. Not an easy path but just wanted to say good luck to everyone ttc x

Wow green , 9 eggs, that's amazing! Hope fertilization goes well now.
Sorry you're not feeling well again gum, you've really had bad luck with all the illness in your family recently, hope you can have a bit of time for yourself at half term to rest and relax. x
Have a great holiday CaliBee ,hope you can fit in your DH's appointment before he goes off to Afghan, or else that by then you no longer need the appointment and already have your BFP!
Hi Diege how are you and all your brood?
Isabeller I keep popping back to this thread too to see how everyone is. How is your DS doing? I'm writing this feeding 2mo DD3!
If anyone else is lurking hello.... Morien, notsoold ?
Good luck to all the ttcers!

Wow Isabeller your DS is 6 months old already!! I am just going through a donor egg cycle (2 early MC probably due to poor quality eggs) and love to hear success stories.

Lovely to hear from you too irish how is your little one going?

gum sounds like you are due a holiday what with picking everything up that's going around. Hard to do I know bit perhaps try and take it easy a bit? How is your DH mum and dad doing?

So the fertility clinic called this morning with the news that all 9 eggs fertilised! DP is super pleased with himself and his swimmers. So more waiting the embryos are now in the embryoscope which monitors them. They are going to call me Monday morning to let me know whether I need to come in for transfer on Monday or we are going to blastocysts and transfer on Wednesday.

Green, sure it goes well! Your baby is being made right now!

Hello ladies - I lurk more than I post but had to just pop on and say 'Good luck Green' it's so exciting reading your updates! :) I have everything crossed for a happy ending for you.

Wow Green you have made it all sound so easy!! How long has the process taken from the moment you made the decision to now? So excited for you x
Gum you must be really run down to catch all these bugs. Make sure you get plenty of rest & some 'you time' in your break, cleaning can wait!
I finish next Friday too but it's our summer break so I have 8 glorious weeks ahead. Hoping I'll be stress free enough in that time to make a baby but have a lot of decorating planned.
My acupuncturist has let me borrow Zita West's book that has totally depressed me already! I didn't realise antibiotics could affect sperm - dh was on them for weeks! She's pretty strict on the diet thing. I must try harder to deprive myself of all things pleasurable....
Question from me - I keep reading the average cycle is 28 days & you ovulate around day 14. My cycle is 31 days & yet I still seem to ovulate on day 14. I had 2 lines on day 13 this month but the next day they were gone. I tested at the same time every day so I know it only happened once. Could it be I just have a really short surge or could it be sticks are inaccurate? Going to keep dtd every other day for a bit longer just in case but am curious. Also seem to be very very bloated during ovulation & have done for quite a few months. I wonder if this is causing a problem?

Ah, Grizzer, so many things to think about. But honestly, I wouldn't get too wound up with Zita West's recommendations. Apart from the sex every other day thing.

I think Ms West is making a lot of money from her recommendations - particularly her supplements. Having said that, I fell for it - I paid far too much for her vitamins in the hope that I'd get my THB.

I really do think that nutrition is definitely important - but don't give up everything you love, it will just make the whole journey more difficult.I am starting to see ttc as a lifestyle now - it has gone on for so long I have to make it something that fits with the way I want to live.

What did Zita West say about diet? I think I remember reading her book/s quite a while ago. Is it all fruit,vege,low fat,whole grains? I for one don't think it is necessarily the case, but cutting out processed food, trans fats and too much sugar is good for any one. I think the "whole grain" thing is a bit passe, but I am a lover of the Paleo diet.I also think too much fruit is a bad idea (and I feel the same about juices and smoothies) as they are high in fructose and carbs. I tend to have one or no pieces of fruit per day. Oh dear, I just realised how stupid I must sound.Rattling off all this guff about diet when I am the one constantly sick! Perhaps I should listen to someone like Zita after all???

Some of the newest studies on diet in IVF patients show that a high protein, low carb diet gave better outcomes. I suppose it would translate to fertility in general?

I really need to clean up my act with sugar. Lately I've let it slip, but I keep using the excuse that I am tired/kids are sick/DH is sick/I am not coping/ I am sick and when I/they get better I'll sort it out. However, I realise that I need to clean up my act right now, as it may be why I am getting sick all the time. I know sugar is very bad for the immunity... Today I plan to make some healthy soup with lots of greens, garlic,ginger and herbs to help me get well.

As for your cycle length Grizzer, I think it is fine. Having a long Luteal phase isn't a bad thing. And having a short time from surge to ovulation isn't bad either, I shouldn't think, tho' I am no expert.The bloating around ovulation time seems normalish too. I know I get it, I guess it is caused by inflammation? If you are having SWI every couple of days I think you'll be ok.

Thanks Gum. Yes, Ms West is all about the fruit & veg. I'm pretty good at listening to my body & it is not keen on too much fruit but I'm ok on the veg. I do like my carbs though! She also says have any juice except orange juice & I've had wheatgrass in orange juice every morning for I don't know how long!
I'm just having another moment of 'why hasn't it happened?' I had dd at age 37. Lost dd2 at 18 weeks aged 39 (10 days off 40) had early mc 6 months later & now I'm one year on & nothing. Can my eggs have deteriorated that much in this time?
Having said all that I'm sure this is my month....

Hope you don't mind me adding my two pennies worth...I saw a fertility consultant last year and his advise was a high protein, low carbs/sugar and no caffeine diet. He said when ttc breakfast should be egg based (high protein), lunch should be protein and vegetables, same again for dinner, fruit should be kept to a minimum and only eaten after a meal and when I asked him about snacks he was very abrupt and told me if I needed snacks then I wasn't eating properly at meal times! Caffeine is a bit of a grey area, he said recent studies do show an increased risk of mc if you have caffeine in your diet so cut it out to be on the safe side.

Well, I'm going to a wedding next month so it won't hurt me to cut the carbs for a while. Thanks Inshock. My snacking is more habit than anything else. Need to cut down on dairy too. Had a latte today & immediately felt the effects on my stomach. I do find it all interesting but have never worried about my diet before, I think it's fairly balanced. One thing I have to get back in to is exercise - it all went a bit astray with all the various hospital stays that dh & dd had. No more excuses now, have just lost my motivation. Thanks again for tips Gum & Inshock.

Has anyone trid the Baby-Making Bible by Emma Cannon? It's kind of a gentle version of Zita West, I think. Emma Cannon is a Chinese medicine/acupuncturist who works with many fertility clinics and doctors in London, so even mainstream trusts what she says. I used it last time, and found it very gentle but useful. Don't be put off by the title!!

green it all sounds like it is happening really quickly. I really wish you all the best for this week.

gum so sorry you have had all thee illnesses. I too hope you get some rest and recuperation time.

grizzer so sorry abut all your losses. That sounds so tough. I do think that the notion of a sudden lack of eggs at 40 is majorly overdone - after all, more than 28,000 women over the age of 40 gave birth in 2012. I hope it happens soon for you .

I just had a quick look at the Zita West website. She says booze is ok post ovulation/implantation. Personally, I like a glass or two when AF arrives to console myself, but I’m not sure this is good timing. How else can you get over the disappointment if not with a glass of wine and a large bar of Dairy Milk?

Inshock Oh, good grief. Thanks for sharing though. Is very interesting and useful though that consultant sounds like a real killjoy!! So what does he have to say about booze then??!! ;-) I’m going to give that diet a go though. I need to lose weight anyway, so will have a go at putting it into practice. (I was aiming to lose it when pregnant for a second time, but plan not working as so far) will see about going organic again too.I’d picked up on the high protein thing before when I did the IVF. Not sure where I got it from though. I used to have those ‘bounce’ high protein balls during the IVF. BTW, if you don’t’ mind me asking, what’s the name of the consultant?

TheGrinch thanks for your recommendation of the book. Sounds like it is worth a look. I used Getting Pregnant Faster by Marilyn Glenville. Reading it encouraged me to go organic and to cut out as many chemicals from our home as possible. Also, thank you very much for asking after my readings. I was very depressed and it felt pretty lonely for a few days that no-one else noticed my anguish.

Grizzer I had no idea what you’ve been through. Must have been really tough. I love what TheGrinch said about the number of over 40s who had babies in 2012. A great figure to hang on to, and I agree entirely that there is no way your eggs would suddenly shrivel up just because you had a birthday.You are still very young by my standards. I have every hope for you!

Jass will be looking out for your update on Weds. Fingers Xd.

Gum I’m hoping the hyperthyroid issue with your DH turns out to clinch the deal for you! How are you feeling? Did the soup work? I have recently started taking garlic capsules again as I was so run down for the first part of this year. So far, so good, but I haven’t been to so many infection swopping mother and toddler groups recently so that is just as likely a reason. Oh, and the weather has been a lot better recently too.

Calibee hope the timings work out for your IUI.

Green frigging awesome news! 9/9 eggs fertilisted! Brilliant!! Those photos much have been supersonic, let alone racy!! What a brilliant boss for being so supportive. I was made redundant when my boss got wind that I was TTC. BTW, the progesterone. Can they give you an alternative that means you don’t have to lie down for 20 mins a day? Or would it work if you did 7am and 7pm?

Fatty thanks for posting your supps list. Is always interesting reading. I found another interesting list on Fertility Friends but I can’t remember where exactly!! I must try and track it down though as she had some interesting comments about egg quality. Re the lube. Why not add it to the list! I have since they started selling it in Boots.

Isabeller aww, lucky you with a lovely snuggly 6 month old. Hope you are enjoying. And Irish a 2 month old. Even snugglier!

Don’t know what happened with my cycle this month. I got ‘low’ readings on the CBFM until this morning, which is not at all normal for me, then suddenly this morning I got peak, ie ovulation reading. Normally there is ‘high’ reading before the peak, and in fact I normally go straight from AF to ‘high’. I am curious to know what will happen over the rest of this cycle. Will probably get a monster AF. Still, should try and be more optimistic. Managed to get DS to have a good nap this avo while DH and I got jiggy with it, so fingers crossed. I usually use the high readings to encourage us to get down to it so hope we haven’t missed the boat… Anyhoo enough of that. Time for bed!

Night all, and sweet dreams. FF xx

I know Fireflies :) booze is a no go too. He said the reason for low sugar/carbs is because it sends your blood sugar all over the place, causing your body to release more insulin and that has an adverse effect on ttc. His name is Paul Curtis, he works out of Nuffield Health. I looked in to him before my appointment and he seems to be quite highly regarded in his field. Have to say I'm really struggling with the strictness of it and returned to the caffeine and sugar a few months ago. I could stick with it if it gave me a BFP but after several months of restricting everything and still no result it's hard to keep going. I'm giving it another shot this month, 2 boiled eggs and a piece of wholemeal toast for breakfast :)

Just need to add the reason for the keep fruit to a minimum and only eat after meals is because although fruit contains natural sugars they're still sugars so cause your body to release insulin, that is minimised if you eat alongside other food. He said if i 'have' to snack then snack on nuts or carrot sticks...I guess if nothing else it's a healthy diet! :)

Hi all, just a quick hello from me! I've been on holiday for the last few weeks, in sunny, lovely France, and had a much-needed break away from everything - it was great!

Catching up now, just glanced over the last few posts, will read properly over the next few days. Just wanted to send lost of sticky vibes and pompom waves to green! I'm crossing everything for you right now xx

We finally have the consultant appointment to go over the post-mortem results, on July 22. Of course they initially gave us one during the time we were away - in spite of me telling them about 3 times (and witnessing them writing it down!!) when we were going to be away . They were very apologetic about this, but nevertheless, the only next available appointment means another 4 weeks wait. Sigh...

I need to start thinking again what could be in store for us next, regarding ttc. Probably NK cell testing, depending on the pm outcomes. Feeling rather un-enthusiastic about it all at the moment...

Thanks for the rest of the info inshock. I blame Dr Atkins!! Wow!! You're allowed wholemeal bread!! I read recently that two slices of wholemeal bread are as bad for your blood sugar levels as a Mars Bar!

I have some wholemeal bread and eggs. I could start tomorrow. I also have some cook at home croissants, chocolate croissants and focaccia to use up first, so maybe not. :-)

I have heard elsewhere about the problems with blood sugar/insulin, though associated more with male fertility. I am wondering how on earth I can manage it, when I have a toddler in the house who, when he does eat something, it's usually chips or pasta!!

I've weaned myself off caffeine. Did that about 3 years ago. Have the odd cup of instant caffeinated very occasionally, but on the whole I stick with decaff coffee or decaff green tea. (I am even fussy enough to make sure that the coffee is decaffeinated by the Swiss method, or something. Anyway, tis the method which doesn't involve formaldehyde. :-) )

Welcome back Jbrd. Good to hear you are feeling refreshed. I hope waiting for the appointment does not set you too far back again.

Waves to all.

Grizzer,mhave you had the immunes checked? the sequence - healthy baby, mc, earlier mc, no more bfps - is quite typical of immune stuff, too. because your body gets better at doing away w. them.....

i hate my body for doing it,but it seems also now to have gotten to the phase it kills before hcg reaches even 100. So,soon no bfps, if it does not suddenly revert to normality. It can, as immunes work this way that id vody feels tired from childbearing it starts killing embryos, because in the days when there was no good medical service body tried to keep you alive. if one fell pg with a body which was still tired and could not face another pg, it miscarried by using immune reaction. So, immune issues are nature's way to spare womenfolk from ealry deaths in childbirth. I think it makes a lot of sense and also is of great consolation to me - my body is not against new babies, he is just worried i might bleed to death or something if I did. i have needed surgery to get placentas out after childbirth more than once, so my bod knows I would really die if i attempted to have a baby and we lived in the early 19 th century or earlier. what it does not know though is there is this life-savinf surgery to remove placentas...

JBrd, so sorry you have to wait so long for the pm. i am sohoping it would give you answers and they would be helpful in this sense that you either know it was genetic and therefore not likely to happen again or then sth treatable......

Hello ladies. NIce to see so much chatting on our lovely thread.

Fireflies, I think that high carb and the insulin release also afects ovaries/eggs in some way. I am not sure of the science, but I am going to try to be good and stick at it. I had my first full on Paleo day yesterday. I had been Paleo before but I reverted to the odd "treat" here and there (always gluten free, but still sugar and grains), then I let gluten free toast be the start to my day, allowed myself to eat gluten free biscuits daily, etc,etc, which brings me to here and now - I know I feel so much better when I cut out high carb stuff, sugar and grain, so I've decided to dedicate myself to getting it sorted by the end of the year (that means I'll stick to it for 6 months, with the occassional treat, instead of regular cheats). Yesterday I had greek yoghurt (some strict paleos don't do dairy but I can tolerate it) and nuts for breakfast, some Paleo brownies for morning tea (I made them as there was a birthday at work, they had no grain and just a bit of coconut sugar which is low GI), lamb casserole for lunch, beef casserole with vegies for dinner. The great thing about not worrying about fat too much is that the meals are satiating and filling.

I know what you mean about feeding your LO. My DS's diet consists mainly of white carbs! I am not practicing what I preach on him as I don't want him to starve. Where I can I give him gluten free, but mainly he's a white bread and peanut butter kid. Sigh. I made him pancakes for breakfast, but I put in gluten free flour, mashed banana and yoghurt, hoping to make them a bit more healthy.

Jbd, it is lovely to hear from you, and I am so pleased you had a nice holiday. You certainly deserved a nice break. I am sorry to hear that you have to wait so long for the PM. I really hope it helps to give you an answer.

Green, how's it going? When is transfer?

HAve a nice day everyone. Hopefully we'll have some BFP's soon.

Well, I have discovered why AF didn't show. Went to the dr, who made me do another test. It was a BFP.
I am in utter shock and bizarrely not sure what to think! Besides being scared. And nauseous.

Bloody hell theGrinch! That is amazing news! Congratulations! whoohoo!!!

Thank you fireflies ! I hope this is the first of many for everyone.

Me too, StripeyGrinch, but today is your day!!

Congratulations Grinch, that is amazing! You must be sooo happy!
Jbd that totally sucks about the appt being delayed. I am angry on your behalf. Hope you are managing to maintain your holiday chill.
Green, totally smiling at 9 eggs. Your dh has Olympic swimmers!

Well, my AF was due Sunday but not showed up. Had bfn on Friday and Sunday. Am making myself hold off testing again till Saturday at earliest. I did have pcos prior to having ds, but have had two AF since stopping bf and penultimate cycle was 28 days, and last cycle cbfm put ovulation at day 14, which matched my assessment of my cm. but now thinking may have got bum analysis from cbfm. Had hoped cycles had regularised because apparently that can happen to some woman with pcos after they have a child.
Guess will find out when I poas on Saturday ( secretly hopeful after Grinch's tale!).