Fab Forty-Plus! Where are the BFPs...

[JBrd]

To keep this thread going, proving support to all of those of a 'riper vintage' wishing for a baby...

I have received so much help, advice and support here, so although I technically have graduated, I thought I'd get the next thread going to keep the momentum.

Oh Grinch! That would be my idea of hell, having perma-PMT! Poor you. Yes, I think there does come a point when you're peri-menopausal when your periods start going up the creek one way or another. I am sure there are some herbal solutions which Dr Google might throw up. I'm sure you haven't missed the boat entirely. Have some and a decaff . I'm sure you'll be feeling better.

It was really very funny in Boots. He was waving big packets of condoms around at horrified Grannies. He specialises in kicking/kneeing DH in privates so perhaps we have our answer about DC2 quite conclusively!!

Better go, have train set to put out and a major toy avalanche to clear up. Never did get that nap either.

Hello all! Can i join in? I have recently hit 40 and would like another baby! It would be my 5th :O :-D
Problem is, well i am not having periods. I put it down to extended breast feeding with baby 4.
Have had blood tests. Not menopausal. Thyroid ok. Other stuff ok too. So... Help! Any advice? Hope i can stick with you all.

Hi Mummy. Of course! The more the merrier! We could do with some more prolific posters.

Have a read of this: www.llli.org/nb/nbsepoct06p196.html and see what else Dr Google comes up with. I put in 'how long can breastfeeding prevent periods', and that was one of the links it came up with.

You could try charting and/or using ovulation sticks and see if you're ovulating, though the latter could be an expensive option if you're not ovulating at the moment.

I hope your stay with us is a short one and you get your BFP and baby number 5 soon. We have two other members of the group with five DCs so you're in good company. They get a bit addictive, don't they? I'm fast approaching 45 and hoping for DC2. Not that optimistic though.

Hi mummyjo. I started ttc when my DS was 10 months old, but I was breastfeeding and I think I had to wait another 8 months before I ovulated. It was tortuous. I googled and tried a few things, but nothing did the trick int he end. I just had to be patient.

How long did it take for AF to return with your other babies? I always had a long wait with each of mine.

In hindsight, I wish I'd weaned DS earlier (but I am not suggesting you do). It has just been a long and heartbreaking time ttc, for me.

You are still very young in my opinion. I am now 47. DS (my fifth) was conceived around my 41st birthday and born three months before my 42nd.

I am in the tww, Fertility friend says I am 5 DPO but I think maybe 4. Anyway, I am having the usual symptoms, which occasionally mean I am pregnant, but most of the time doesn't mean anything at all

I am glad it's almost the weekend. I am looking forward to some time out. Maybe I'll even try to meditate

welcome, mumjoy. Try chinese medcine and/ or accupuncture maybe ro bring periods on? I have never had this problem and the only cycle regulator i know is agnus castus, but when cycle is absent I really have no idea... How long after you stopped BF?

Counting my blessings tonight, exactly two years after DS was born. Had a wonderful day with him and DH.

Hope you're all doing well? About to have another slice of then off to bed.

Fertile, happy thoughts to all. FF

Oh Fireflies, is he really two? I just can't believe it. Glad to hear you had a lovely day.

I am feeling pleased with myself because I had a nicer, higher temperature this morning, despite it being freezing cold. I think that might show as a bit of an addictive tendency doesn't it? That a temperature can make me feel happy...I'm such a sad-sack!

It has been pouring rain all weekend, but I don't mind at all. I went into town with DD for netball yesterday, managed a long swim at the pool, then came home, tidied up, lit the fire, baked all afternoon and watched a chic-flick with my dd's. Perfect day really. Today I plan on tackling the disgusting dirty bathroom (can't bear it anymore) and go off to knitting club this afternoon, hang out with a bunch of ladies, chatting, drinking wine (or tea in my case) and knitting. Ah, bliss....I'm easily pleased.

i seem to be ovulating early... day 10 only. Luckily i bothered this morning to dtd, so am covered at least. Drunk more than half a bottle of red wine tonight and feeling really carefree. Still using agnus castus to keep my cycle on track, but not doing much else to get upduffed....
I think I am ruining all my chances with wine, but the place I live has such relaxed standards - I went to visit a friend in maternity unit and noticed a heavily pg woman standing outside, with an IV drip in her veins/hand, smoking.... It makes me think all the discussion about healthy behaviour in pregancy is overrated. If these people here who drink and smoke through pg/bf period can have kids, then why not me? I have never smoked, I drink only occasionally some wine, run 50 km per week, cover myself with sunscreen and manage my stress... and I still bloody miscarry! Life is a weird animal......

Argh just lost my post!

in brief, then, before BG descends upon my quiet.

fireflies happy birthday to mini ff! Sounds like you had a lovely day.

Gum sounds as if your day was really relaxing too - very very important on this journey!

jass I know, sometimes things seem bloody upside down. My sister, who has no intention of having children, is still going strong at 50, while I seem to be hurtling towards early menopause. Sometimes I just don't get it!

Yup, AF never arrived, and it feels like i am onto my next cycle now. Got really depressed for a few days, then decided that, as I think someone on this thread said, you only need one ovulation and one good egg. So I will keep going. Acupuncture, supplements, diet, little alcohol, etc etc. I can only hope.

Too right Grinch, we just have to keep going and keep hoping. There's always a chance that it will be the next egg that is a good one and is fertilised.

My boobs have been super tender, but other than that, I'm 7 dpo and not much going on, although I do have the early morning insomnia I sometimes get in the tww, which once meant a possible bfp, but now I don't think so. I wonder what causes it? I thought progesterone was supposed to make you sleepy, but I'm wide awake at 4 am unfortunately. I went to bed at 8 last night, because I'd already fallen asleep on the couch by then. So I suppose I did get around 8 hours sleep anyway.

I might google that, I'm curious...perhaps it is menopause, though I thought it was the hot flushes that caused the insomnia in menopausal women, and I've not been having any.

BTW Grinch, have you tried Agnus Castus? It might help bring on AF.

HAve a good day folks. I hope I don't feel too tired later on. I have someone coming into observe my class this morning. But I'm not really phased, as I think I'm alright as a teacher. Been doing it long enough...

Well, there's a couple of ideas from Dr google. One is that when progesterone drops, estrogen makes you more wide awake (don't like that explanation, but it makes sense) and two, that it is actually progesterone which causes vivid dreams, you wake up and it is hard to get back to sleep. I like the second explanation, and I might add, I've been having very vivid dreams. Can't actually remember them now though. I should write them down when I wake up...

Just popping in to wave my pompoms I am in exam marking hell, and will be for at least another 3 weeks, but wanted to say hello and good luck! I am reading and keeping up - just crazily busy. Hope the teaching obs went ok Gum

Thanks Diege. Teaching obs confirmed what I already know, I am a legendary teacher For all the right reasons I should add! It is nice to hear from you. I commiserate on the exam marking (yuck!)I am busy at work writing reports now. Can't wait til all is done.

I have just got back from the doctors. We seem to be having a bad run with health of late. I took DD in to the doc as she's had a sore tummy for weeks now. We had hoped it would work itself out - I took her off gluten, but she's still struggling after 3 weeks off it. The doctor suggested a couple of things which I felt were unlikely as she hasn't got any diarreah (so I don't expect it is giardia or shigella), she just feels sick after eating mainly and doesn't want to eat much. I asked to have her checked for a stomach ulcer. He thinks it is highly unlikely, but I still want to check it, so now we need to organise a breath test. Sigh...DH has been sick with flu and went to see the doctor today too. He gave him a week off work (which is good, I think he needs a rest) and also told him he is hypo thyroid, so now he's on thyroxine. I am glad they've finally worked out why DH is quite lethargic a lot of the time.

I wonder if his thyroid issue can affect his sperm and ttc? I may have to visit Dr Google about that one too...

DS and DD also have this bloody flu. I really hope it is the cold I had a week or two ago, cos I really don't want to get sick too.

I wish everyone in my household could be well. I am sick of the illness

JassS - it's tough isn't it, seeing people who fall pregnant and carry to term without doing any of the 'right' things. I find it difficult bumping into the mummies on my ante-natal group. The majority of them already have another one or two babies. If I succeeded having one then my plan was to have another as quickly as possible while I was still able. Life just doesn't seem to work out the way we want though sometimes.

Grinch I hope AF puts in an appearance soon for you.

Gum hope it's not the menopause, and that your DD and rest of family are feeling better soon.

I am feeling quite hollow today. CD 8 and monitor says fertility is low. This is very unusual for me. Never had that before. Seem to have missed ovulation 2 cycles ago, but my fertility is usually high at this point, with ovulation occurring over the next few days. I wonder if it's the supplements? I hope not. I will keep on with them for a bit. Am really feeling very worried. The only thing I can think is that my cycle is lengthening and therefore fertility will rise in a few days. Hope so.

Imdid ov on day 11, shagfest was over quickly this time. It may be agnus castus doing this to my cycle. but this is more like my cycles when i was young and tiresomely fertile, so no complaints at all! Will test next Wed or sth.....

Just lost a very long post to you all by pressing 'next' accidently so now just waving & hope you're all ok.
Hope dd is ok Gum. Could it be a dairy issue or Crohn's?

Is the odd glass of wine really that bad Jass? I have a couple of work do's & was looking forward to a few glasses (don't want to arouse suspicions by refusing either!)
I've already given up coffee & that was/is a struggle. Don't make me lose the wine too!

Oh Grizzer, I think having anything in moderation (except perhaps hard drugs) is ok. I think we beat ourselves up and make ourselves stressed by not enjoying the little things that make life pleasurable. I've been at this ttc lark for so bloody long that I think I might as well find a balance I can live with. For me that means coffee on Thursday and Friday mornings (it has become a bit of a family ritual to stop at our favourite coffee shop and pick up mochas before school. We all really look forward to it.)

I also like to have a drink with friends occasionally. I don't want to be the tea-totaller all the time, but my friends have gotten used to me just having one or two, but not every time.

Well, it seems that hypothyroidism in men can affect their sperm quality and quantity. And my DH's thyroid has been dicky since we started ttc this last baby. I remember asking a naturopath (after my first miscarriage) if my DH's thyroid issue (which back then was only borderline, hence him not being medicated til yesterday) might be a contributing factor to the miscarriage, she said, "highly unlikely".

I suppose finding out that it can impact on the sperm quality has actually given me a renewed sense of hope. Maybe that's a contributing factor, and now that he is medicated we'll hit the jackpot and actually make a healthy emby that stays the distance.

I am still acutely aware that I am 47,and my old eggs could be the issue, but I like feeling a little bit hopeful again.

I guess it may be 2 or 3 months til sperm improve (if it is in fact an issue) so I'll not be expecting a bfp just yet (but one at the end of the week would be ok).

Yesterday I spotted a numberplate on a car : 1BPF. I decided it was a message from the universe : 1 Big Positive Finally

I don't know if I'll ever lose the hope...

Just a flying visit...hello to all you lovely ladies.
So lovely of you to remember and ask about the IUI *gum. We got the go ahead and are now on the waiting list (3-6 months). DH has to supply two samples before he leaves for Afghan, which I'm a little worried about as he is away for a month now (two weeks with army and two weeks for our holiday immediately after this) and then leaves for Afghan just a week or so later. Fingers crossed it can still be fitted in. I realise the odds are low for IUI but at least it gives us the chance.
I will have a proper catch up very soon....we moved house last week too, so its been very busy.

Calibee, really good to hear you have the plan! hope we have other long lost friends lurking somewhere - Morien, how you doing?

I still drink coffee and I still drink wine, as I know (just from seeing how people live around me - you see preg women smoking rather routinely in Luxembourg...) that if there are no underlying issues coffee and wine would not make or break anything. But just sometimes i feel like why i can not go without if I know there is a tiny chance that it matters? When I was still a virgin as far as mc/ infertility were concerned, I never understood why people cannot just go without if they want to conceive. But I never imagined how it would feel in case it took years. Everybody can give up coffee and wine for a few months until they conceive and then of course for pregnancy, but when it takes years.. It is different somehow.....Cheers, friends!

Calibee, it is lovely to hear from you.How nice you are going on holiday. I am sure your studmuffin of a hubby will deliver the goods

I agree jass, after years of ttc, it is hard to maintain a culture of self-sacrifice. I wouldn't mind if it actually felt like it is making a difference. But honestly, I think at this stage there's probably very little chance for me, so why make such huge sacrifices, when, honestly, I think it will just be a matter of luck.

When I embarked on this journey (all those years ago) I was very good at taking supplements, giving up anything bad, etc,etc, with the whole-hearted belief that I would be successful eventually. But things are different after waiting so long and miscarrying 4 times (sigh).

This month is another bust for me. Negative test at 10 dpo (like you, if it isn't there by 10 dpo, I am pretty sure it isn't going to be sticky), and today at 11 dpo temperature is pathetically low. Above coverline, but not how I'd want it to look if I was pregnant. It won't be long til I leave all this behind me.

I guess I'll allow the meds to sort DH's hypothyroidism for two or three months, but I think, as I approach my 48th birthday, it will be time to hang up my ttc hat and leave it at that.

Well, at least I've only a week of work before a two week break. That will be nice.

I hope all is well for everyone else.

Sorry to hear you temps aren't behaving gum. It might be that your DH sperm will improve in time - I know it hasn't been long but has he noticed a difference in how he feels?

jass8/grizzer* re supplements/drinking/diet I have been practising "a bit of what you fancy won't hurt you" approach . I know moderation is dreary but it makes sense. I think that the key is exercise and generally staying fit/well and in balance...but then I don't actually have a baby to show for my efforts so what do I know!

Today my donor is having her eggs collected and DP has gone to the clinic to give his sample and I am freaking out!! I was wide awake all night, tossing and turning with "what happens if DP gets stage fright and can't give a sample", "what if his sperm sample is rubbish and can't be used", "what if my donor doesn't produce any eggs/not many eggs/eggs that are rubbish quality/fail to fertilise...", and if we get through all that "what happens if they don't go to blastocyst", "what if it doesn't implant" and if we get through that "what if I MC again"......I am driving myself a bit nuts when I thought I was managing it all quite well - obviously not! DP for his part has not complained at all and trundled off to the clinic without any trace of nervousness at all. He wanted me to go with him to "help" as he thought it wasn't right that our future child would be conceived as a result of him looking at aherm, "gentleman's"magazines. Obviously, I wasn't having any of that but have had to dispatch him with a few racy photographs of me to keep him company - god I hope nobody ever finds them on his phone! I made him swear that he must delete them the minute he gets out of the clinic!

So I took my last injection last night (thank god) and have now moved onto vaginal progesterone pessary (lovely!) I have to insert 2 twice a day, 12 hours apart and then LIE DOWN for 20 mins!! How I am going to manage this with a full time job, two SK's and commute I don't know and if I do manage to get pregnant and it sticks (please, please please) I have to keep it up for 12 weeks until the placenta takes over. I am also on Estrodial tablets three times a day so have an alarm on phone that goes off to remind me and it keeps going off in meetings as well as rushing up and down to the clinic for scans and blood tests (which is 2 hours away BTW) it has been quite an exercise in logistics. Had to tell my manager that I was getting fertility treatment so she knew why I kept leaving the office in the middle of the day. She was fabulous and very supportive (She has no children but sadly had a very late miscarriage a few years after which she was off work for about 4 months so she has understanding of all the issues) She also has SK's so we have a good old moan about being a step parent with each other....

So we will get a call later to tell us a) how the egg collection went and b) what DP's sperm look like and tomorrow (assuming the above goes well) they will call to see how the eggs/sperm get on over night in their petri dish.

Sorry for the long post I must get back to my worrying!

calibee - wishing you all the luck with IUI if you don't get an irony BFP on your holidays

Hello everyone, I have been a bit rubbish at posting but have been lurking industriously. I was a bit about AF not showing up, and decided to attack the wine stash in the cellar (not overly, don't worry!) and eat some nice junk...

gum I so hope sorting your DH's hypothyroidism helps. And fireflies are the readings any better? jass I too decided not to cut everything out this time! although I did last time. (And then assumed I wasn't pregnant, drank a whole load of champagne over. Christmas and New Year and got a BFP on 9 January...) How long can one go denying oneself things that we enjoy? I think it's a balancing act in the end. green that all sounds very complicated! and of course you will worry! Any journey like this is a stressful one for women. I really hope you can relax and enjoy the excitement, and that all goes swimmingly (pun intended ).

Nearly the end of term,, and I am really looking forward to the summer holidays. BG turns two in three weeks time, we are off on holidays, DH's best friend is getting married... Lots to do to take my mind off this incessant wait!

Ah gum sorry about the temp drop I suppose there's a chance implantation hasn't happened yet, hence bfp and pre-implantation drop, but I know that you know (that I know) how tortuous all the 'what ifs' are, especially when you know from experience what a pattern of temps etc means for you. That is good news about your dh (in terms of ttc anyway!) and is something to hold on to for sure.
Green I feel nervous just reading your post! But very excited for you too xx
calibee lovely to hear from you and I have everything crossed for the IUI xx
Hello to everybody else - sorry not to do more personals - I am reading but find it difficult to keep up with the newbies!

9 eggs collected - Sperm sample normal so we don't need ISCI - they are currently being introduced in a Petrie dish .

First hurdle over now got to wait 24 hours to see how they get on with each other. On to stage 2 of the worryathon. God knows how I am going to cope with the 2WW. Need to get into a zen place - pronto!

hope you are well?

Well I was 2 days late last month, and got my hopes up (after having been a regular 25 days for months) and was crushed to get AF :(

Im taking on a daily basis....
agnus castus
zinc
calcium & magnesium
dong quai
selenium
EPO
red clover
folic acid

I fairly rattle when i walk LOL

just discovered the soft cup method whilst researching DIY AI online, so shall be giving that a go this cycle...and after reading a very recent positive account of it, its made me really keen to give it a go (never having used anything like a soft cup/moon cup before) I have a retrograde cervix/uerus, so im hoping that fact doesnt make it impossible for me to use them.

do people have positive things to say about sperm friendly lubes like pre seed and conceive plus?
wondering if i should add that to the umpteen things im trying already